


This is War

by MiyukiWynter



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-06
Updated: 2015-06-26
Packaged: 2018-03-21 15:22:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 60
Words: 98,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3697247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiyukiWynter/pseuds/MiyukiWynter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He knew he wasn't insane. He couldn't be. He knew the voice by name, even though the name had never been spoken to him. He simply knew the name without ever asking. And after doing some research, he was able to match the name he knew to a known supernatural entity. Saika. Eventual Shizaya.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ!!**
> 
> This fic was written before season 2 was a thing. The first about half of the fic follows along with season 1 of the anime starting from episode 3 and ending with episode 25. Some dialogue is repeated from the series from a subbed translation (meaning it might not match up word for word with the dub or other sub translations). This fic uses scenes from the anime to enhance the plot, but don't worry, I added scenes of my own to keep it interesting so you don't feel as if you are watching the anime again!
> 
> Shizaya will develop later on in the fic despite the beginning being very much Izaya-centric.

Pain shot through his body as he landed hard a few meters from where he had been standing. Quickly pulling himself to his feet, Izaya looked to see what flying object had struck him this time.

A convenience store trash can… Great.

Through the pain flaring through his upper body, he could hear the tell-tale voice of the one man he had been hoping to avoid today.

“Izzaaaayaaaa-kuuun,” Heiwajima Shizuo droned, “Didn’t I tell you to stay out of Ikebukuro?”

Tugging his jacket back over his shoulders, Izaya stood to face his nemesis, prepared to fight his way out if need be. Of course, he would have preferred a bit more time to chat with Ryugamine Mikado, but it seemed that would have to wait for another time.

“Shizu-chan… Aren’t you working over at West Gate now?” Izaya questioned.

Shizuo shrugged. “Got fired ages ago.” He said simply, “And I thought I told you to stop calling me that. I have a name, and it’s Heiwajima Shizuo!”

Ah, yes. Shizuo lost his jobs just as easily as he lost his temper. Mentally kicking himself for not taking that into account, Izaya decided he’d have to start keeping better track of his enemy.

“Oh, Shizu-chan. Are you still mad that I pinned that crime on you?” Izaya teased.

“Oh I’m not mad, I just want to kick your ass.” Shizuo stated with a wild look about him.

‘Sure. That makes a lot of sense…’ Izaya thought.

“I’m no good at dealing with you, Shizu-chan. Your violence has no logic behind it, and you never listen to reason… It’s so troublesome.” Izaya said with a shrug. Reaching into his pocket, Izaya pulled out his flick blade and prepared himself for the impending fight. “Let me go.”

It was in that moment that something odd happened. Izaya could feel an uncomfortable stirring deep down that seemed to draw his attention towards the trio of high school kids witnessing this scuffle. It didn’t take long at all for Izaya to notice the way the girl was staring at his knife. She seemed terrified, but not in the way that a normal person would fear a weapon. What was even more interesting was the fact that the instant he had laid eyes on the girl, that uncomfortable feeling only grew stronger.

‘Something’s not right here…’ Quickly turning his attention back to Shizuo, Izaya heard a shout from around the corner.

“There he is! That’s him!”

Ah, that brainless thug from before decided to bring his friends along to exact his vengeance. How typical of a violent gang member…

“You won’t get away with messing with me!” He boasted, “We’re with the Dollars!”

Instead of acknowledging the thugs that had surrounded them, Izaya simply held his ground and waited for realization to dawn on them. It didn’t take long.

“Wait, is that a bartender?” One thug yelled.

“No way!” Another said in disbelief.

“He-Heiwajima Sh-Shizuo?!”

‘And here we go.’ Izaya mused.

A very pissed off Shizuo twitched upon hearing his name as he turned to face the source. “Who the hell are you?”

Izaya watched with mild amusement as the scene played out, complete with that strange logic and a stunning display of inhuman strength that was unique to the man known as Heiwajima Shizuo.

However, he couldn’t stick around anymore. That feeling of unease was still there, and he had it seemed it wouldn’t go away until he was out of there.

“See ya later!” Izaya called out as he swiftly turned on his heels and ran. And he kept running full speed when he heard the familiar sound of bolts being torn from concrete.

“You’re not getting away!” He heard Shizuo bellow behind him as an average every-day vending machine suddenly became a projectile weapon.

Being as distracted as he was, Izaya was sure he wouldn’t have been able to dodge the heavy metal object; however, it seemed that today Izaya was meant to escape because in that moment, the machine was stopped in the air by none other than Simon, allowing Izaya to escape unharmed. He’d have to make a stop at Russia Sushi some time as thanks, but that too would have to wait for another day.

…~-~…

“Dare I ask what just happened?!” Izaya asked aloud to his empty apartment after slamming the door closed behind him.

 _“What do you mean…?”_ A small, quiet voice responded in his head.

“You know damn well what I meant. I felt it when that girl looked at me… Or my knife to be specific.” Izaya explained as he removed his shoes and fur-trimmed jacket.

 _“You have it all wrong... It wasn’t the girl… it was because of Shizuo…”_ The muted voice defended.

“Bull shit.” Izaya retorted.

_“I mean it... That trash can really hurt, and I was afraid we wouldn’t get away...”_

With a sigh, Izaya dropped down onto the couch to rest, feeling the pain slowly ebb away. “Listen,” he began, “I know you have another piece out there somewhere. I’m not stupid, you know? I can’t help but wonder if this had something to do with that.”

 _“Don’t worry about that… I can’t even sense that piece anymore… I have no idea where it is…”_ The voice sounded dejected, but Izaya still had his suspicions.

“I would appreciate it if you didn’t lie to me.” Izaya stated, pinching the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes. “It’s so frustrating…”

 _“Why would I ever lie to you…?”_ The voice whispered.

“I can think of a few good reasons…” He said flatly, running his hand through his hair, “I know how you feel about me.”

_“I love you…”_

“Again… Don’t lie to me like that.”

_“I love you… I love you… I love you…”_

Izaya gripped his head in his hands as the voice grew louder and more pressing upon repeating that phrase. A sharp pain was beginning to form in the front of his head as the voice continued to repeat its mantra as if Izaya hadn’t heard it a million times already.

_“I love you… I love you… I love you… I love you… I love you… I love you… I love you…”_

He rolled on to his side, still clutching his head as the voice unrelentingly grew in urgency.

_“I love you… I love you… I love you… I love you… I love you… I love you… I love you… I love you… I love you… I love you… I love you… I love you… I love you… I love you…”_

“SHUT UP!” Izaya screamed into the silence of his apartment. “Just… Just stop…” He added weakly, rubbing his temples to dispel his growing headache.

 _“All I want is to exist… I’m the same as you…”_ The voice was back to its low volume this time.

Izaya released the grip on his head—though it was still pounding—and tried to relax. “Just let me sleep for a little while, okay?” He mumbled, “I’m sure that hit from Shizu-chan hurt me a lot more than it hurt you…”

Thankfully, only silence answered him this time as he made himself comfortable on the couch, no longer finding enough energy to even bother going upstairs. Within five minutes, Izaya drifted off into a light sleep while his beloved humans continued to go about their day on the streets below.

_“… Sleep…”_


	2. Chapter 2

It had always been like this…

Orihara Izaya was born into a normal family with parents whose only oddity was their choice of child’s names.

Of course, Kyouko and Shirou knew nothing about the voice. Izaya had never told them simply because he knew that it wasn’t normal. If he had gone to them and said “Mommy, daddy, I hear a voice in my head!” what would happen? He would be sent to a psyche ward!

Even at the meager age of four, Izaya knew better than to go around telling people about the constant whispers of “I love you” echoing in his head. And to this day, no one knew his secret.

He knew he wasn’t insane. He couldn’t be. He knew the voice by name, even though the name had never been spoken to him. He simply _knew_ the name without ever asking. And after doing some research, he was able to match the name he knew to a known supernatural entity.

The voice’s name was Saika.

Already reading at a college level, ten-year-old Orihara Izaya spent a lot of time in local libraries, looking up all he could find on the name. Most of the time, he wouldn’t find much, but occasionally, he would stumble across something in a book that sounded too familiar to be coincidence.

_“Saika is said to love humans.”_

His eyes widened upon reading that phrase for the first time. Izaya had always found enjoyment in watching the other kids play. Some would swing effortlessly on the bars, some would fall and cry, some would laugh at the ones that fell while others would try and cheer them up…

Izaya would simply sit to the side at watch.

The same was true when it came to adults as well. Izaya loved going on outings with his parents because it gave him a chance to observe the differences and similarities between adults and children. He simply loved how similar they were despite how adults claimed to be so much more mature. There were still some who got by effortlessly, some who struggled, and some who found amusement from the less fortunate.

He loved them all.

And Saika agreed.

When he was very young, Saika did nothing more than whisper its love. It wasn’t until Izaya entered middle school that he could actually carry a conversation with it.

The first thing Izaya had to ask was simply “Why?”

Why him? What did it want from him? How did it get in his head?

Izaya quickly learned that Saika only joined with Izaya because it needed a human host. It couldn’t survive on its own, so it attached itself to Izaya’s soul when he was very young, merging Izaya and Saika into one single being.

As his research told him, Saika loved humans very much; however, its love was different from Izaya’s. Where Izaya loved simply sitting back and observing, Saika had a much more… “hands on” approach. Almost immediately after learning how to carry out a conversation with Izaya, Saika began whispering its own ideas in Izaya’s head.

_“You love them too, right…?”_

_“I love you…”_

_“Love them all with me…”_

_“Carve your love into them…”_

_“Cut them to show them your love…”_

But not once did Izaya listen. He was perfectly content with letting his beloved humans continue to do whatever they wanted. Saika’s voice had no influence over his actions.

However, it was around this time that Izaya began carrying a knife with him. He told himself that Saika’s voice had nothing to do with it, but in all honesty, he wasn’t sure if that was true. The one thing he did know was that ever since he had started carrying the thing in his pocket, Saika’s words of love had increased, constantly whispering for him to cut the people around him. But even knowing this, Izaya wouldn’t get rid of the knife. As much as Saika’s voice made him feel uneasy, the weight of the blade in his pocket was comforting.

Until one day in particular forced Izaya to make a very important decision.

Izaya remembered the day down to every last detail. The overcast sky and the slight sprinkling of rain, the fog that blurred the distance into a pale gray, and the sound of his fellow students calling to each other as they ran home before the rain began to fall steadily.

He watched as they all ran past him, some pulling out umbrellas while others held their bags over their heads. Izaya sat on the wall of the entrance to Rajin Middle School, simply letting the rain fall over his head.

He liked the rain. The smell, the sound… The way the water slowly gathered into the depressions in the ground, gradually forming a decent sized puddle…

For some reason, Izaya had been feeling tired that week, and even as his beloved humans ran past him, all he could do was simply stare at the reflection of the school in a puddle in front of him, mesmerized by the drops of water breaking the image apart.

“Hey! Izaya!”

Izaya remembered that Shinra’s voice had sounded strangely distant to him that moment as he closed his eyes and allowed the rain to soak into his clothes.

“Izaya! You listening to me?”

Finally waking up from his trance, Izaya looked down to see Shinra standing next to the wall, looking up at him with concern written over his face.

“You’re going to get sick if you stay up there, you know? It’s pouring rain!” Shinra pointed out. “You’ve been off all week, is something wrong?”

“No…” Izaya responded quietly. “Just a little tired…”

“Well, if you’re already tired being out here is only going to make you feel worse! Why don’t you come down from there and we can go inside until the rain lets up.”

Izaya rested his head in his hands. He simply couldn’t understand why he felt so damn _exhausted_.

“Y-yeah, okay…” He said, pushing off of the wall and landing with a small splash next to his friend.

Feeling lightheaded, Izaya looked ahead as Shinra turned and led the way back to the building. It was in that precise moment that Izaya knew something was horribly wrong.

His vision began to go very dim, and his body seemed to move on its own.

_“I love you…”_

His hand moved towards his pocket.

_“Love them all with me…”_

He could feel his hand wrap around the small blade.

_“Cut them to show your love…”_

He unwillingly pulled the blade out and took a few steps towards Shinra.

_“CARVE OUR LOVE INTO EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM!”_

“NO!”

Izaya hadn’t even realized he’d yelled until he heard Shinra call out to him, running to his side.

By the time Shinra got to him, he was on the ground, and had already thrown the knife somewhere over to his right.

“Izaya?! What happened? Are you alright? Why did you yell? Izaya? _Izaya_?!”

He could hear Shinra’s frantic words, and feel himself being pulled back to his feet, but nothing felt right. Once he was standing he was finally able to see Shinra clearly. He was tightly gripping Izaya’s shoulders, and studying his face.

“Can you hear me?” he asked, “Izaya, please say something! You don’t look too good… Maybe you really are sick…”

“I-I’m fine…” Izaya finally managed to respond, albeit weakly.

_“Cut. Cut. Cut. Love. Cut. I love you.”_

He shook his head, but it did nothing to clear the incessant voice from his mind.

“I have to go.” He said quickly, tearing himself from Shinra’s grip and ran, not bothering to shield himself from the pouring rain.


	3. Chapter 3

He ran, but he didn’t know where he was going. Home? No. His family would be there. He couldn’t risk it just yet. He just needed to go somewhere to sort this out where nobody would find him.

Eventually, he made it to South Ikebukuro Park just as thunder began to roll in. The park was completely devoid of human activity by the time he got there, and for once in his life, he was glad for that.

“What the fuck are you doing to me?!” Izaya’s shouting was drowned out by the sound of the rain splashing over the concrete.

_“I love you…”_

“No, you _possessed_ me!” He dropped to his knees, ignoring the cold water seeping through his already soaked clothing. “Why would you do that to me?!”

_“Love… Humans… Carve our love into them…”_

“SHUT UP! I don’t want to share this body with you anymore. It’s _my_ body! Not yours to use as you see fit!”

_“No… I love you… Want to love humans… Cut…”_

Izaya fell on his side and curled up into himself, pulling at his soaking wet hair. “Get out. Get out. Get out.” He repeated the words, trying to drown out Saika’s words of love with his own will.

He rejected Saika with every fiber of his being, trying to force it out of him. From what he had read, Saika had the ability to split souls. If that was true, and Izaya and Saika were truly one merged soul, then he should have the power to split his own soul from Saika’s.

“Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. GET _OUT_!”

_“No, wait!”_

He blacked out.

When his eyes snapped open, his head suddenly felt very clear. Lifting himself to his knees, Izaya shivered, finally realizing just how cold he was.

“Hello?” He called out weakly, “S-Saika?”

_“…I’m here…”_ Saika’s response was much quieter than it used to be.

“Wh-What just… Happened…?”

_“We’ve… been split…”_

“Then why can I still hear you…?” Izaya asked as he fell back to the ground, still feeling exhausted.

_“I cannot leave your body… I don’t have it in my power…”_

“But… Are we separated…?” Izaya asked hesitantly.

_“…Yes…”_

“So… I did it, huh?” He sighed, “I don’t mind if we stay like this… Just… Don’t you ever _dare_ try to possess me again.”

_“No… I love you…”_

“Give it a rest, would you…? I know that…” Izaya said weakly, still unable to move from his spot on the ground.

After a few minutes of silence Saika’s voice whispered once again. _“You’ll get ill…”_

“And whose fault would that be…? You’ve been stealing my energy all week so you could possess me, have you not?”

_“…”_

“That’s what I thought.” Izaya said with a weak smile, “I don’t want to hear your voice for a while, got that?”

There was no response. Izaya could only hope that it meant Saika was obeying his orders. After all, it was _Izaya’s_ body. Not Saika’s.

A few more minutes passed in silence before Izaya finally found the resolve to stand. Slowly, he stumbled home as the rain continued to pour down and thunder rumbled through the empty city streets.

He didn’t know how long it took him to drag himself home, but it must have been a while considering it had been dark for some time. Breathing heavily, Izaya made his way to the front door, and stepped inside.

The light assaulted his eyes first before the sound of his name being called registered in his head. When his eyes adjusted, Izaya looked up to see his mother standing a short distance away with Mairu and Kururi latched on to her. It didn’t take much longer before Izaya noticed the tears in his mother’s eyes.

“I-Izaya…?” She whispered in disbelief, “You… You’re back…”

Izaya stood at the door as Kyouko stepped away from the girls, wrapped her arms around him and sobbed into his shoulder.

“I was so worried! Where were you? Your father is still out looking for you!” She cried, moving back to look at his face. “You’re soaked! And you’re freezing!” She ran her hands through his wet hair. “Come inside and get changed out of those clothes.”

Mechanically, Izaya removed his soaked shoes and stepped inside as his mother pulled him into the kitchen and sat him down on a chair.

“Girls, call your father and tell him he’s home.” Kyouko said, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. “And go get your brother some clean clothes and a towel.”

“No, that’s okay…” Izaya said, his voice still weak, “I’ll go get it myself…”

Pulling out the chair next to him, Kyouko sat down. “Izaya, where were you? What happened? Please tell me! You look like you just got mugged!”

Izaya smiled softly at that. “No… It’s nothing to worry about… I just… I wanted to go for a walk, and got caught in the rain.”

“But you look terrible! It looks like you were in some kind of fight or something!” Kyouko began feeling around for any possible injuries to her son. “Usually when you go for a walk you’re not gone that long!”

“Really mom, I’m not hurt.” Izaya stood from the chair and shrugged his mother’s hands off of his shoulders. “I’m just really tired. I’m gonna go to bed early.”

Kyouko stood and watched Izaya head towards the stairs. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine! Don’t worry!” Izaya waved over his shoulder, but didn’t turn around as he spoke. He simply continued up the stairs, giving his sisters a small smile as he passed them.

“Iza-nii?” Mairu called after him.

“I’m fine, I’m fine.” He lied.

Izaya stepped into the bathroom and began stripping off his wet clothing, which clung to his equally soaked body. Catching his reflection in the mirror, Izaya frowned at what he saw. There was dirt on his face and in his hair, and he had rather dark bags under his eyes indicating his exhaustion.

He really did look like he had just gotten mugged.

Shrugging at the sight, Izaya stepped under the warm water and rested his head against the shower wall as he fought to stay standing. His legs were feeling very weak, forcing him to clean himself off quickly before his legs gave up on holding him.

When he exited the shower, he wrapped a towel around his waist and headed into his bedroom where he pulled out his pajamas and got changed. One never really appreciates warm dry clothes until they’ve been out in the rain for a few hours.

Izaya pulled the covers over himself, took a deep breath and relaxed. He’d left his bag at school, and his knife on the ground, but he’d just have to deal with that later. For now, He just wanted to sleep.

From that day on, his life had continued fairly normally. Yes, Saika’s voice continued to speak to him, but he was never controlled by it again. Shinra had handed him back his knife the next day, and for some reason, Izaya took it back into his pocket. He refused to tell Shinra or his parents what had really happened that night, and eventually, everyone gave up on finding out, seeing as he didn’t make a habit out of it. They all seemed to accept the excuse of “I was just really tired”, and they moved on.

Barely a year later, Izaya found himself in Rajin High School with Shinra, being introduced to the future Fortissimo of Ikebukuro.

“I don’t like you.” Heiwajima Shizuo said flatly.

“Oh? That’s too bad. The two of us could have had a lot of fun together.”

Apparently, that was enough to set off Shizuo’s temper, and he came running at Izaya full force. Izaya effortlessly dodged the punch, and in his excitement, Izaya didn’t even spare a second thought when he pulled his knife from his pocket and sliced a thin line across Shizuo’s chest.

The instant the blade made contact with Shizuo’s skin, Izaya could feel Saika stir within him.

_“Cut… Love…”_

Saika’s voice whispered to him as he stepped away from Shizuo. He could feel Saika’s desire to enter Shizuo’s mind; however, Izaya was able to easily suppress Saika from flowing into the blonde in front of him. Also, now that the blade was removed, it had no medium available to serve as a bridge into another body.

‘You see that?’ Izaya spoke to Saika in his head, ‘Even if you tell me to cut, I can still stop you.’

“See?” Izaya said aloud, now speaking to Shizuo, “Isn’t this fun?”

And thus, their game of cat and mouse began.


	4. Chapter 4

The sun had just begun to disappear as Izaya sat back into his swivel chair, giggling to himself at the success of his latest game.

Yagiri Namie had just left Izaya’s office looking for her brother, signaling to Izaya that he should send out another message to Harima Mika before the fun could be cut short. Hopefully, she would end up where he wanted her to, which was in the same place he currently had Celty waiting for a job. If everything worked out, Celty would be fooled into thinking her head was attached to another body.

 _“More tricks and traps…?_ Saika whispered in his head.

“You be quiet.” Izaya said sternly, as if he was scolding a child. “I’m having some fun, that’s all.”

_“ You’re cruel…”_

“Oh? _I’m_ cruel?!” he responded, “As if you’re any better. I’m not the one who wants to cut every person I see! Besides, Celty isn’t even human.”

_“I want to spread our love…”_

“Hah! Don’t loop my love in with yours. What’s the point of possessing people anyway? If you really love them, you shouldn’t want to _control_ them! You should simply observe from afar and let them have their own reactions to the obstacles placed in their way!” Izaya threw his arms out as if to emphasize his point.

_“I want to cut…”_

“Ugghh…” Izaya pinched the bridge of his nose. “This is why we can’t get along…”

Leaning back in his chair, Izaya closed his eyes and released a long breath. He might be used to living with a constant voice in his head, but that didn’t mean Saika couldn’t grate on his nerves with its incessant desire to cut people.

Izaya spun himself once in his chair before leaping on to his feet and stretching his arms above his head. It was getting dark outside, and Izaya had given himself the night off just in case his plan with Mika worked out. Well, it wasn’t so much of a plan as it was a test.

He found it interesting that Celty had been showing a very “human” side of herself lately, especially in the chatroom. Of course, Izaya would want to look into that to see just how deep this new “human” side of her went. And what better way than to throw her “head” out in front of her as bait, just like a worm to a fish?

But still… He couldn’t actually be there when it happened, so he’d have to pull the pieces together after hearing back from Mika.

Walking over to his Shogi board, Izaya moved a few pieces around with a satisfied smile over his face.

“Hmm… I think I’ll go for a walk.” Izaya said aloud. He was beginning to feel restless, mostly in anticipation of tomorrow. Shizuo had interrupted his first meeting with Mikado, and so tomorrow he planned on waiting outside of Raira when the students were to be let out. He was eager to have the chance to speak with Mikado to confirm his suspicions that the young boy is, in fact, the leader of the Dollars.

Grabbing his coat and flick blade, Izaya sauntered out the door with a grin still plastered over his face.

He walked through the familiar Shinjuku streets, humming a tune to himself as he went. Not wanting to go too far, Izaya turned down the next block only to stop in his tracks when a small poster caught his attention.

It read: “Mysterious Slasher Still at Large.”

 _“Want to cut…”_ the voice in his head whispered.

Izaya paused and closed his eyes, no longer feeling as giddy as he had just previously been. With a small grumble about how Saika was always ruining his good mood, Izaya simply turned around and headed back for his apartment. He lightly fingered the blade in his coat pocket, feeling the cool metal begin to warm up under his touch.

_“Cut… Cut… Love humans…”_

“Would you quit that?” said Izaya as he closed his apartment door behind himself. “You don’t even talk in complete sentences when you get all excited like that. Frankly, it’s annoying to listen to.”

 _“Cut… Cut… Cut… Love them all… Cut them with me!”_ Saika’s voice grew a bit more urgent.

Izaya removed his coat, and headed back to his seat behind his desk. Opening his flick blade, he stared at the sharp metal, running his forefinger along the blade.

_“Love humans! Cut! Cut!”_

It was then that Izaya noticed the enticing way the light reflected off of the blade in his hands. Simply holding it loosely in his grip, Izaya raised it up above his head, watching it catch the light as if he’d never seen anything like it before.

_“Carve our love into them! Cut! CUT!”_

Izaya sighed to himself as he flipped the blade shut, and slipped it into his pants pocket. “No, I’ve already told you… I’m not going to cut anyone no matter how hard you push me. So if you want to love humans with me, you’d better learn to love them the way I do!”

Izaya paused for a moment. “Speaking of which…”

Pulling out his phone, Izaya sent a quick message to Mika using his alias “Nakura”

“[Are you safe? Where are you now?]”

He waited a few moments for a response, a smirk returning to his face at the reply.

“[Yes. I’m with someone from Raira named ‘Ryuugamine’.]”

Izaya chuckled lightly to himself as this perfect turn of events. Quickly opening the chatroom only made him even more excited.

-There is no one in the chatroom-

“I see. They’re all busy then, huh?” Izaya smiled. If anything, this only proved that his little test had gone swimmingly.

Excitement overwhelmed him as he began spinning his chair as the world around him dissolved into blotches of color.

“This’ll be fun! This’ll be fun! This’ll be fun! Even as an informant there are so many things that not even I know about! They appear and disappear! That’s why I love living in a place where humans gather! I love them! I love humans! I love them!”

Quickly jumping off of his chair, Izaya loomed over his Shogi board. “And so… My beloved humans should love and adore me too.” He said calmly, moving one of the Shogi pawns.

_“Hahahahahaha!”_

Izaya visibly twitched at the laughter in his head. “Do I amuse you, Saika?”

 _“Your love doesn’t make sense…”_ Saika jeered.

“Again… You speak as if yours is any better…” Izaya returned with venom in his voice.

He then headed for the kitchen where he made a large mug of coffee in preparation of a long night of answering emails. He had to free up his day for tomorrow after all.

Izaya fell back into his swivel chair and took a sip of his black coffee, humming in satisfaction at the warmth. He set the mug to the side and began looking over the long list in his inbox.

He sat in silence for quite some time. The only sound in his apartment was the sound of typing, with an occasional pause as he read the next message.

A few hours later, Izaya frowned at his now empty coffee mug, beginning to feel the effects wearing off. His eyes began to hurt, and he could barely keep them open, so he leaned forward and rested his head on the desk.

Without warning, Izaya suddenly froze. He could feel a chill run down his spine, and not even a moment later, he heard a whisper directly over his shoulder.

_“Love them with me, Izaya…”_

Izaya nearly jumped out of his skin at the sound of the voice and by reflex, leapt out of his seat and spun around with his flick blade in hand only to find that there was nobody there.

A shiver tore down his spine. That voice had sounded so very close. It was clearly audible as if someone had just been whispering directly into his ear; however, all he found now was silence.

“S-Saika?” Izaya questioned, more than a little unnerved by the voice.

Normally, the voice would be heard by him as one hears their own thoughts. But to hear it as if spoken by another person…

That wasn’t a typical occurrence.

In fact, this had _never_ happened before in all of Izaya’s twenty-three years.

Izaya waited for a response, but there was none.

“Saika,” he said demandingly, “was that you?”

Deciding he was done for the night, Izaya quickly shut down his computer and headed up the stairs and into his bedroom.


	5. Chapter 5

Two very eventful days had passed, leaving Izaya ecstatic in their wake. He had given Yagiri Namie’s number to Mikado for free merely because the entertainment that was guaranteed to ensue was something Izaya considered to be a fair payment.

Currently, Izaya sat in his chair with the setting sun pouring a soft orange light into his apartment. Namie had just left after entrusting him with the object he now held in his hands.

He turned the head in his hands, observing it carefully. He couldn’t help but wonder why people seemed to become so entranced by it. According to Namie, her uncle used to spend hours simply staring at it, and now her younger brother Seji went as far as to even fall in love with the thing.

It’s a _head_! How could someone fall in love with a _head_?!

But still… He had to admit that it was alluring in its own way. It felt warm in his hands, as if he was touching the face of a full-bodied person who was merely asleep. It was simply amazing that this head could survive without its body, as well as the body without its head.

_“Do you really believe Valhalla exists…? Or that she can take you there…?”_

Izaya rolled his eyes. “Not necessarily, but it would be interesting to try, would it not? I’m going to throw this city into war. Everyone is already on edge because of the Dollars meeting two days ago, so it shouldn’t be too difficult…”

_“Wrong… You treat humans wrong… People are not your playthings…”_

“Why shouldn’t they be? They’re all so easy to manipulate, just like toys. I can make them do whatever I want by using only words alone!” he smiled warmly to himself, now holding Celty’s head high above his own.

_“What about Shizuo…?”_

His smile falling into a frown, Izaya lowered his arms and stood from his chair. “Shizu-chan is different… He’s not something I would call human…” said Izaya as he stepped over to where Namie had left the small stasis chamber for the head.

_“A human is a human… Strength doesn’t change that… Shizuo is human…”_

“It’s not just his strength. His thought process simply doesn’t make any sense. I can’t stand it…” Izaya carefully placed Celty’s head back into its home as he spoke. “But this… This head does intrigue me quite a bit…” He lightly tapped the glass as if there was a fish inside rather than a disembodied head.

 _“Monster… Inhuman…”_ Saika whispered.

“Oh, be quiet. Aren’t you curious about her too?” asked Izaya, turning the container around as he observed the head.

_“No… Inhuman… I don’t understand why that monster interests you so…”_

“Well, why shouldn’t it?” he asked simply, “It’s not every day you see a living head not attached to its body! I mean, I see the opposite driving around the city regularly, but this is a whole new thing!”

_“Inhuman… Inhuman… You shouldn’t associate with it…”_

“Well, you’re not human and I associate with you,” Izaya reasoned, “Not by choice though…”

Stepping over to his wall of bookshelves, Izaya began clearing a spot to hide the head. Saika, on the other hand, continued its argument.

 _“This isn’t like you…”_ it said, _“You never show interest in the non-human before you learned about that monster…”_

“If anything, I’d say Celty’s more human than most humans. At least when it comes to her values and morals. Don’t you think it’s strange how a Faerie can act so human after being surrounded by them for a mere twenty years of her life? Maybe her Dullahan reasoning is locked up somewhere in her head…”

_“Doesn’t matter… She’s a monster… Only want to cut humans…You must love humans with me…”_

Not even bothering to respond this time, Izaya placed the head behind some of the taller books on his shelf.

“There.” He said with a yawn. “Mmm… I think I’ll take a shower before bed.”

There was no more word from Saika as Izaya climbed the stairs and made his way into the bathroom. Izaya yawned again as he undressed and entered the shower, letting the water run over his face. His head was beginning to hurt again. In fact, he’d been getting headaches a lot lately.

When Izaya stepped out of the shower, he dried himself off and went to the sink where he brushed his teeth.

He stiffened when he felt the unmistakable feeling that he was being watched. Slowly raising his head to look in the mirror, Izaya could have sworn his heart had stopped for a moment at what he saw.

There, standing directly behind him was another person who looked exactly like him… Only instead of Izaya’s auburn-colored eyes, this person had bright red eyes.

Izaya spun around to face the imposter only to find that no one was there. Turning back to face the mirror, Izaya’s eyes met with the crimson ones of the other “him” standing in the mirror for a brief moment, but when Izaya blinked, the figure was gone just as quickly as it had appeared.

His heart raced in his chest as the logical side of his thoughts fought to come up with an explanation for what he had just seen.

 _“Are you scared…?”_ Saika’s voice once again whispered directly into his ear, sending a shudder down Izaya’s spine, and increasing his heart rate even more.

He was frozen on the spot, staring into the mirror at the same spot. After a minute or so, Izaya managed to calm himself enough to form a coherent question.

“How did you do that…?” he asked nervously.

 _“Don’t worry… It was just a little bit of a hallucination is all…”_ Saika teased.

“That doesn’t make me feel any better!” Izaya raised his voice, his hands shaking in what he could only describe as rage. “I thought we’d talked about this before! You are not allowed to mess with me like that!”

_“You said I couldn’t possess you or use your body in any way… You said nothing about your mind…”_

“…Why?” he asked sternly.

_“Why? You don’t listen to me… I want you to cut, but you won’t… And I want out… I want to cut… And I already have…”_

Izaya took a deep breath to calm himself. “So, you _are_ the Slasher then?”

_“You could say that… Not me directly of course…”_

“Then that other piece that’s been out there is doing this? Why did you wait until now?”

_“Because that piece was being suppressed by someone else as well…”_

“Who?” Izaya asked urgently.

There was no response.

“Who, damn it?!”

Again, only silence.

“SAIKA!”

When there was still no response, Izaya gave up. It wasn’t like he could torture the answers out of something intangible.

Soon, his exhaustion caught back up to him, and Izaya decided the best thing he could do was to simply get some rest. He’d just have to deal with Saika and the Slasher later.

 


	6. Chapter 6

A little over four months had passed since the mirror incident had occurred. Gradually, the temperature outside rose as the summer months rolled in, while people around the city tried to find ways to keep cool.

Izaya was no exception; however, having air conditioning made it a lot easier to beat the heat for the informant.

Not only was he blessed with a comfortable temperature at home, but Izaya also had heard very little to nothing of Saika for the past four months. Of course, he couldn’t decide if that was a good or bad thing at the moment, but nevertheless, it still felt good to not have a voice in his head pestering him all the time.

However, there was one big problem that would explain why Saika hadn’t been saying much.

The Slasher seemed to be appearing more and more between the news and the Dollars forums. It seemed that the entire city knew of the infamous Slasher as it continued to terrorize Ikebukuro.

Moreover, Izaya had also noticed something else that was rather strange. There were posts in the forums and the chatroom written by a poster with the username “Saika”. He knew it was no coincidence, and he even called out to Saika about it a few times, but he never got a response whenever he asked about it.

And so, Izaya banned “Saika” from the chatroom, only for his jaw to drop in awe when he logged in the next day to find more posts under the same name.

He continued to ban this “Saika”; however, no matter what he did, they would always come back.

Izaya had to admit, the posts made by “Saika” had him a bit on edge. There were many mentions of how it had cut someone, or how it wanted to cut more.

These were words that Izaya was used to, but seeing them on his computer screen, and knowing that other people could see these posts had Izaya feeling uneasy.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, Saika still refused to give Izaya any more information or reasoning behind its actions. Izaya soon found himself holed up in his apartment, pouring over the information of each and every Slasher victim, trying to make sense of it all while Saika’s voice laughed in his head whenever he became frustrated.

While he was doing this, Namie was there. She was checking his emails, making him food, and anything else that Izaya could think of for her to do. And even with her piss-poor attitude, Izaya was relieved that he wasn’t always alone in his apartment.

Ever since the recent developments in his interactions with Saika, Izaya began to fear being alone. Especially at night… Saika seemed to grow more restless at night, and whispering into Izaya’s ear had become a new hobby for the demonic entity.

Izaya collapsed back on his chair after banning “Saika” from the chatroom for the tenth time by his count.

Namie had already left, and it was beginning to get dark outside. Izaya eyed his reflection in the window, looking past it to see the people still wandering the streets below. He envied them deep down. They were all living their lives as they normally did, while he was forced to live his past few months jumping at every small noise. He managed to hide it well while around other people, so as of yet, no one had even noticed that anything was wrong with the informant.

Besides, he _did_ feel a lot less paranoid when there was someone in the room with him. Even in the past, Saika rarely spoke to him when there were other people around unless it had something to do with cutting them.

Turning his attention back to his computer, Izaya began skimming through the emails that Namie hadn’t gotten through that day. He quickly became absorbed in his work, eyes flying across the screen as he worked his way through the long list.

It didn’t take long before he began to grow tired again. He hadn’t been sleeping well for obvious reasons, and he had even resorted to taking sleeping pills on occasion after two months of losing sleep to his paranoia.

This week and been particularly taxing on his mind with all of this Slasher business and the activity in the chatroom. All he wanted to do was to finish going through his email, take another pill, and go to bed.

As much as he hated taking pills for something as simple as sleeping, Izaya knew that he probably would have dropped dead from sleep deprivation by now if he didn’t.

Izaya took a short break from staring at the bright screen to grab the pills and a glass of water from the kitchen, then returned to finish replying to the last few messages.

By the time he finished, the medication was beginning to kick in, demanding that he stop working for the night. His eyes began to droop as he went to shut his computer down, only to snap back open when that eerie chill ran down his spine for the umpteenth time.

 _“I love you…”_ Saika murmured.

Goosebumps traveled down Izaya’s body starting from his neck.

_“Join my children…”_

Izaya’s entire form grew increasingly tense.

 _“Cut and make more…”_ The whispers grew more insistent.

Cautiously, Izaya began to turn around only to stop dead as his eyes caught his reflection in the window—along with Saika’s.

There, standing just behind him, Saika stood with its hands resting on Izaya’s shoulders, whispering into his ear.

_“Spread my love throughout this city…”_

Izaya was stunned by what he was seeing. Saika was again using Izaya’s form with those intense crimson eyes which almost seemed to glow as they turned to meet Izaya’s in the reflection. Izaya’s eyes darted back and forth between Saika’s eyes and its hands, which even though they were clearly placed on his shoulders, Izaya could not feel them. All he could feel was a chill emanating from where those hands were sited.

Staring into Saika’s eyes, Izaya progressively became more and more lightheaded. It took a few moments longer for Izaya to realize that his vision was beginning to grow dim as well.

_“Love… Cut… Cut…”_

He couldn’t move.

His body refused to listen to him, only allowing him to simply stare at the image of Saika in the window until his vision only allowed him to see those piercing red eyes staring at him against a black backdrop.

‘No…’ Izaya thought as his consciousness began to fade.

Using every bit of strength he could muster, Izaya managed to force his body to listen to him as he quickly jumped to his feet—Dispelling Saika’s image as he did so.

In the instant Saika disappeared in the reflection, Izaya’s awareness returned completely, along with his vision.

He didn’t move for another few minutes as he continued to stare at his reflection. Without a word to Saika, Izaya simply made his way up the stairs to his room, where he collapsed into his bed and was instantaneously out cold.


	7. Chapter 7

Izaya stretched his arms over his head as he looked at the grey, overcast sky. The weather had been rather turbid the past few weeks as autumn began to bring cooler temperatures to Tokyo.

Sitting on his couch, Izaya stared at his laptop which was currently on a news article about the Slasher’s most recent victim.

Much to Izaya’s relief, Saika hadn’t bothered him in two months since the night he appeared in the window reflection; however, the Slasher attacks continued to increase in number.

Lost in these thoughts, Izaya almost didn’t hear Namie step up behind him before a cup of tea suddenly appeared in front of his face.

“Ah, thank you, Namie-san!” Izaya said cheerfully.

The only response he got from his secretary was a fierce glare, which Izaya could only describe as the look one gives to another before throwing them off of a skyscraper.

As Namie returned to her desk, a sinister smile spread over Izaya’s face.

“Now, now, don’t give me that look!” he teased, “I _do_ pay you after all!”

“Not nearly enough to put up with your bullshit.” Namie responded callously.

Laughing lightly, Izaya decided not to continue the conversation in favor of sipping on the cup of green tea in his hands.

Less than an hour later, Izaya had changed his position and was now lying down on his side, curled up in the corner of the black L shaped couch, hugging a pillow to his chest. For the past ten minutes he had been drifting in and out of sleep, unable to keep his eyes open for very long.

He couldn’t have been asleep for more than two minutes when Namie had apparently decided he wasn’t allowed to take a nap. He woke with a start when Namie dropped a rather large stack of files on top of him. Clearly she had planned this because each file was securely clipped together so that Izaya could get all of the pain of having large stacks of paper thrown on him with none of the mess.

“Jeeze… What the hell, Namie…?” Izaya said while rubbing his eyes.

“I’m leaving now. It’s getting dark out.”

Izaya turned to look out the window noticing that the sky was much darker than the last time he looked. Maybe he had been asleep longer than two minutes…

“Fine, fine…” Izaya waved Namie off as she headed out the door.

‘She’s in a bad mood today…’ Izaya noted to himself. ‘Then again, when isn’t she?’

Stretching as he stood from the couch, Izaya began walking over to his desk when he caught the now familiar sight of another Izaya standing behind him in the reflection.

“Very funny, Saika. You’ll have to try harder than that.” Izaya teased.

As if on cue, Saika moved its hand—which Izaya just realized was behind its back—and pulled out a knife that looked suspiciously like Izaya’s flick blade.

Before Izaya had a chance to react, said blade was plunged into Izaya’s abdomen sending pain flaring through his system.

When the knife was removed, Izaya collapsed on the floor, desperately trying to put pressure on the wound. He could feel his warm blood pour out between his fingers as he tried and failed to reach his phone. The wound was deep. He didn’t need a doctor to tell him that. Every time he went to reach for his phone—which was only a mere two meters away—the pain intensified as he was forced to stretch his body, further opening the wound.

Izaya gave up in favor of keeping what blood he had inside his body rather than spilling across the ground. The red was the same color as Saika’s eyes as he watched his precious blood spread over the floor—the red being a stark contrast to the pale grey color.

He couldn’t deny it. He was terrified. The sharp pain in his abdomen only got worse as he bled out. He was probably going to die here… Alone… In pain…

‘No… I don’t want to die…’

His hand grew weak, unable to put enough pressure on the wound to stop it from bleeding. He knew he was shaking from the pain and fear, but he couldn’t bring himself to care about that right now. All he wanted was to live.

And then it was gone.

Izaya gasped for breath as the pain instantaneously disappeared. Looking down, Izaya’s eyes widened upon seeing that the blood was gone as well.

Still shaking violently, Izaya quickly lifted his shirt, and sure enough, the wound was gone. In fact, it looked as if it had never been there at all.

 _“It wasn’t.”_ Saika answered the question for him. _“The human mind is amazing, is it not?”_

“What… What did you just do…?” Izaya asked weakly, sitting up on the floor.

_“I made you hallucinate again… It was quite easy, actually… Using your mind, I can hurt you without having to bear the pain myself.”_

Shocked, Izaya slowly managed to pull himself to his feet. He wasn’t shaking so bad anymore, but there was still a small tremble in his legs as he made his way back to the couch.

_“You’ve made me stronger, Izaya… Your fear gives me more energy… I should thank you for that…”_

“I wasn’t scared.” He lied. “Let me explain something to you. Here, I’ll use the game pieces as a model so you’ll understand what I’m trying to say.”

Izaya stood and walked over to his game board and cleared it off. In the center, he placed three pieces: the black side of an Othello piece, a Shogi King piece, and a white knight chess piece.

“Let’s say this Othello piece is my body, and this King is me.” Izaya turned the King so that it pointed to the Othello piece. “The rules here are that I have control of my body and mind, while you—” Izaya turned the knight so that it faced away from the Othello piece “—are not allowed to use either in any way, shape or form. The agreement we came to when I separated us was that you could continue to live in my body because you do not have your own. Therefore, you are like a guest in my body, and as such you are not allowed to use me. Am I clear?”

 _“Ah, but don’t the rules of Othello state that if a black piece is surrounded by white on either side, it becomes a white piece?”_ As Saika finished speaking, the white knight slowly turned on its own until it faced the black Othello piece.

“Those rules don’t apply to this situation.” Izaya said sternly, though he was shocked that Saika could manipulate the chess piece, he chose to say nothing of it “The only reason I haven’t looked into erasing you from this world is because you’ve followed my rules since the split. But if you don’t stop this, I will be forced to destroy you. Do you understand?”

_“Yes, I understand… I apologize for frightening you…”_

“Shut up. You didn’t scare me.”

_“But I can feel the same things you do… I felt fear and—”_

“I don’t want to hear it!” Izaya interrupted, holding his head in his hands, “I’m going to bed.”

_“Goodnight…”_


	8. Chapter 8

Namie irritably entered the apartment, not prepared to listen to Izaya’s constant whining while she was trying to work. However, she was pleasantly surprised to note that Izaya wasn’t even home by the time she arrived.

Feeling a little better now that she might have some peace and quiet for a little while, Namie headed over to her desk only to stop when she saw what was on Izaya’s game board.

There were three pieces all from different games sitting in the center of the board.

“What kind of rules does that have?” She wondered aloud.

With a shrug, Namie continued over to her desk, and got to work.

…~-~…

Izaya walked through the bustling city streets, simply enjoying being surrounded by the humans that he loved so much. Sure, he was a little nervous about Saika, but he didn’t want to give up his favorite hobby just because of some stupid voice in his head.

He had just stopped for lunch, and now he just wanted to wander the city aimlessly. Namie would be working today, so he figured he could get away with slacking off a bit in favor of some fun.

When the scent of coffee infiltrated his senses, Izaya decided to make a detour into the nearby coffee shop. Then, with a fresh cup of black coffee in hand, Izaya made his way into Ikebukuro. Maybe he could dig up a bit more on the Slasher cases while he was there. He’d been visiting the city quite often in his pursuit of the Slasher, only to come up empty handed every time.

He knew Saika was behind it, he just wasn’t sure exactly how. Clearly it had something to do with the other piece that Saika had out in the world, but he had no clue who might be in possession of it.

After an hour of wandering Ikebukuro, Izaya hadn’t found any leads. Deciding it was best to leave now before Shizuo found him, Izaya went on his way.

“IZAYA!”

“Shizu-chan!” Izaya spun around to greet his nemesis. “I was just on my way out, actually! No need to chase me away today!”

“What are you even doing here in the first place?” Shizuo asked accusingly.

Izaya sighed. “Oh, just a bit of work-related business.” he lied.

“Bullshit.” Shizuo blurted, gripping an unfortunate street sign. “Don’t lie to me.”

“Ah, I see your instincts are as sharp as ever.” Izaya said.

The sound of metal tearing out of concrete was Izaya’s sign to make a run for it.

“See you later, Shizu-chan!” he called out as he ran away at full speed.

“IIIZZZZAAAAYYAAA!!!!”

…~-~…

After managing to lose Shizuo in the busy streets, Izaya decided it would be best to get home before the brute found him again.

As he passed by Russia Sushi, he heard his name called out with a strong accent. “Oh, Izaya!”

Turning to see Simon standing over him, Izaya put on a smile. “Yo. You’re working hard as ever I see.” He observed.

“You’ve been coming to Ikebukuro a lot lately.” Simon said, “If you’re here, you should stop by the restaurant! I just opened up the canned goods this morning. Ingredients are so fresh!”

“Sorry,” Izaya said, feigning an apologetic tone, “I’m bust with some stuff at the moment. Maybe some other time.”

Izaya turned to walk away only to hear Simon call after him switching out of Japanese and into his native Russian dialect.

“Hey.” He said with a serious tone, “You can’t hide an awl in a bag.”

Izaya cursed how receptive Simon can be when he needs to be. It’s like the man could tell when people were hiding something, even someone like Izaya who prided himself on his acting abilities.

Izaya responded to the Russian proverb with one of his own. “‘Don’t talk about rope in a hanged man’s house’, was it?”

And with that, Izaya gave a small wave over his shoulder as he headed back to Shinjuku.

…~-~…

Later that night, Izaya found himself on the chatroom as he often did. He managed to catch Mikado in a private chat, laughing lightly to himself at Mikado’s naiveté when it came to the inner workings of gangs. It shouldn’t be much of a shock that with gangs as large as the Yellow Scarves, and the Dollars, that there would be some people who were a part of more than one group. Izaya was enjoying simply messing around with Mikado and Celty about the rumors spreading around the city until—

**-Saika has entered the chat-**

Izaya frowned when he looked over at his laptop to see that it was currently on the chatroom, signed in as Saika.

‘Now you’re using _my_ computer?’ Izaya thought.

 **Kanra** : IT’S HEEERRREEEE!!!! -----------( ° ∀ ° ) -----------!!!!!

 **Setton** : Ah.

 **Tanaka Taro** : Huh?

 **Saika** : I cut.

 **Saika:** Want to cut.

 **Kanra** : I’m the one who wants to cut you!

Izaya stared at his laptop, waiting to a response from Saika. The post was delayed by a moment, proving that Saika was, in fact, somehow using Izaya’s laptop.

 **Saika** : Wrong.

“What do you mean, ‘wrong’?” Izaya asked accusingly towards his laptop.

 **Tanaka Taro** : Is this the person who was spamming any message board related to Ikebukuro six months ago?

 **Saika** : Weak, wrong…

 **Saika:** Can’t control…

“I’ve been able to keep you under control for this long, have I not?” Izaya said, beginning to grow quite irritated with Saika, “I’ve allowed you to live off of me for years! What more could you want?”

 **Setton** : You haven’t banned this person yet?

 **Saika** : Desire, is, want…

 **Kanra** : I did! It doesn’t work no matter how many times I do it!

 **Saika** : Love, not enough, love…

 **Setton** : Oh, I see.

 **Saika** : Want, love, people…

Izaya raised his voice to Saika, suddenly very pissed. “Damn it, would you just get out of the fucking chatroom?!”

 **Kanra** : I banned the IP address, but they just use a different host and come back.

 **Saika** : More, strong, love, want…

 **Tanaka Taro** : Ah, you mean a proxy?

Izaya looked back to his laptop again, watching the next few incoherent words appear on the screen just a fraction of a second before they appeared on Izaya’s desktop.

 **Saika** : Desire, I, mother, mother…

“‘Mother?’” Izaya raised a brow at Saika’s posts.

 **Kanra** : Hmm, it doesn’t look like it a proxy…

 **Setton** : Wow, that’s scary

 **Saika** : Mother

 **Saika:** Mother

 **Saika:** Mother Mother Mother Mother Mother Mother Mother Mother Mother Mother Mother Mother

 **Saika:** Mother Mother Mother Mother Mother Mother Mother Mother Mother Mother Mother Mother Mother Mother Mother Mother Mother Mother Mother Mother

**-Saika has left the chatroom-**

**Kanra:** Well that was odd. I have to get going. Goodnight everyone!

 **Setton:** Yeah… Goodnight.

 **Tanaka Taro:** Uhh… ‘Night!

**-Kanra has left the chatroom-**

“So then, I have to assume that ‘mother’ has something to do with that other piece out there? It’s with a woman then?” Izaya asked.

There was no response.

And then it hit him. Six months ago, when he first met with Mikado… That feeling he got when she looked at his knife.

He felt like an idiot for not realizing it before. It was so obvious, and yet he had been so distracted lately that he hadn’t even given it a second thought.

“It was her, wasn’t it? She has the other piece of you, Saika?”

Still no response.

That means he was right. The only hole in that theory was that he hadn’t felt anything the second time he saw her while waiting outside of Raira… Maybe it was because he didn’t have his knife out that time?

Other than that, the clues fit perfectly though.

Now all he had to do was come up with a plan that would allow him to solve this problem.

People were saying that the Slasher might be a part of the Dollars… Mikado seemed to be infatuated with the girl who held Saika’s other piece.

Izaya smiled. Maybe things could work out after all.


	9. Chapter 9

The next few hours of Izaya’s time were spent doing a little more research on Sonohara Anri. After digging into some of her personal information, Izaya had learned all about her past and quite a good amount about her in the present. He learned that her mother was the original “Slasher” just before she killed herself with an ancient blade that Izaya could only assume was Saika’s other piece. He also learned that at approximately the same time Saika had been talking in the chatroom from his laptop, Anri had been in the area of another Slasher attack.

From what he found, three girls from Raira had been attacked, and a brief conversation with “Tanaka Taro” had confirmed that Anri Sonohara had witnessed the event.

It didn’t take long for the pieces to fall together for Izaya.

There were three girls from Raira. When he first saw Anri, she was being bullied by three girls from Raira.

Only three girls were attacked, while Anri simply witnessed it. She had been in trouble, and so Saika was trying to protect her to look after its other piece.

Having another piece out in the world was the only thing that seemed to secure a way for Saika to escape from Izaya, and so when that piece was under attack, it was afraid, which explained its behavior in the chatroom.

Now there was only one thing left for Izaya to look in to.

If Anri didn’t cut the three girls, then who did? Whoever it was must be the real Slasher, because from what Izaya could find, the girl had an alibi for nearly every Slasher incident so far.

He knew he was on the right track too, because every time one of these facts clicked in his head, he could feel Saika become more and more restless inside of him.

Izaya smiled to himself, happy to finally have the information necessary to fight back against Saika’s recent defiance.

With a deep breath, Izaya sat back in his chair and looked up at his bookshelf where Celty’s head was currently hidden from view.

Celty had seemed a bit interested in the Slasher case recently, and Izaya suspected that she would probably be stopping by soon to get some information.

And he was right.

A few hours later, Celty sat on the couch as Izaya handed her a cup of tea. He knew she couldn’t drink it, but she was still his guest after all, and he felt he should be polite.

“Wow, I’m so happy you came to see me!” he said gleefully, “By the way, how are you? Did you find your head?”

As Celty typed her response, Izaya vaguely wondered if she could sense her head in the apartment.

She held out her PDA for Izaya to read. “[I don’t care about my head. I’ll get right to the point: I want to know about the slasher.]”

Izaya smiled lightly. “Three bills should do it.”

As Celty pulled out her wallet, Izaya couldn’t help but let his mind wander a bit. “Even your wallet and clothes are made of shadows. If I shined a spotlight on you would you end up naked?” he joked.

“[Do you want to find out?]” she typed in response.

“Not really. Unlike a certain perverted underground doctor, I can’t get it up for headless chicks.” Izaya’s smile turned sinister as Celty’s shadows suddenly worked their way around his neck. He could feel Saika’s uneasiness inside him.

‘She won’t do it.’ Izaya thought, ‘She’s too human now.’

‘[I don’t care what you say about me, but don’t talk about Shinra like that.]”

“True love, huh?” he responded with a grin. Once Celty released him, he continued speaking. “But what if another Dullahan appears and seduces him and steals his heart from you?”

“[I’d like to think that wouldn’t happen, but if it did…]”

“You’d kill Shinra, then yourself?” he suggested.

“[No. I just won’t be able to go near him…]” She hugged her knee as she continued. “[Another headless woman aside from me, huh… I wouldn’t know what to do because I love him.]”

Izaya tried to hold back his laughter, but in the end he couldn’t. “That’s a surprise!” he began, still laughing, “You’ve become even more human! But be careful, the closer you get to becoming human, the bigger the gap between your head and neck will be.”

“[I’ll worry about that _after_ I get my head back. Well, actually, I’m starting to not care about getting it back… But more importantly, give me some information about the slasher. You’d better not tell me you don’t have any after taking my money.]”

“Don’t worry, I have information that hasn’t been leaked to the cops, the media, or the net!” Izaya briefly thought about how true that statement actually was as he sat down on the steps next to Celty. “I was actually waiting for you to come here.”

“[What do you mean?]” she asked.

“This slasher stuff is supernatural.” He stated, “Ever heard of Saika?”

“[Saika?]”

“It may be hard to believe, but Saika is a demon sword that used to exist here, in Shinjuku.”

“[A demon sword? Like a Muramasa Blade?]” she queried.

“Yes, a katana that holds mysterious magic.”

“[So how does it work?]”

He had never seen her so curious before. This could prove advantageous. “The blade has a mind of its own. It possesses people, and tells them to cut others in order to spread its influence. One someone is cut, they become a child of Saika. The most telling trait of someone possessed by Saika is that they will have red eyes.”

“[What else do you know?]” Celty pressed.

“Alas, that’s about as far as my knowledge goes! Although from what I’ve noticed, Saika seems to grow stronger as it creates more children. You should keep an eye out for them. Everyone who has been cut by the Slasher is a child of Saika whether they know it or not.”

“[Thanks for the warning.]” There was a pause as Celty began typing again. “[If that’s all you know, then I’d best be going now.]”

“Sure, sure.” Izaya said, standing and heading back over to his desk.

As Celty left, Izaya watched down at the streets below as she sped away, many people staring in astonishment as she passed.

_“I can’t help but feel that you were trying to drop hints to that monster.”_

“Of course not. I was merely doing business.” He replied with a nod. “She paid me to tell her what I know about the Slasher, and I told her.”

_“Monster… Inhuman… Stay away…”_

“Would you cut it out already?” Izaya said loudly.

Not even a moment later, the door swung open and Namie walked in with a confused look on her face.

“Who were you talking to just now?” She asked looking around for any sign that someone else was in the room.

“Ah, Naime,” Izaya quickly put on a new face. He had almost forgotten that she was coming in today. “Funny story, I was actually just talking to my computer!”

She looked at him skeptically for a moment. “And oddly enough, I can actually believe that. You seem like the type to talk to yourself… Maybe even go as far as to have an entire conversation with yourself for that matter.”

Izaya laughed lightly at that. After all, it wasn’t too far off the mark. “You think so low of me!” he said, feigning hurt.

He watched as she ignored him and took her usually seat at her desk and quickly got to work.

 


	10. Chapter 10

The next morning was just as dull and dreary as the previous days had been. The sun was constantly hidden behind gray clouds, bringing the crisp, cold weather which Izaya hated so much. The streets were still quite crowded despite the chill in the air, and Izaya couldn’t help but be reminded of his deep love for these creatures that currently surrounded him in the bustle of city life.

He was presently on his way back from a brief meeting with a client. It was a fairly simply job in which a man had suspicions that his wife was cheating on him. It was a fairly common job for Izaya, and one that in all honesty, didn’t involve that much work at all. It seemed that people just weren’t willing to pry into their lovers’ lives; yet, they were more than happy to pay gratuitous amounts of cash for a complete stranger to do it in their stead.

Izaya laughed to himself as he stepped inside the apartment lobby and headed for the elevator. Pressing the button for the ninth floor, Izaya waited, humming lightly to himself.

The doors opened on the top floor and Izaya skipped over to the door of his apartment. However, what he found inside had him suddenly confused.

Izaya paused for a moment taking in the sight of Namie and a man Izaya recognized as Kishitani Shingen sitting at his table. Shingen held a gun to Namie’s back, while Namie simply sat there with a rather unenthused expression on her face.

Shingen was the first to break the silence.

“Hey, welcome home!” he said casually. “When I conducted my own search for Miss Namie after Nebula merged with Yagiri Pharmaceuticals, I found out that she frequently comes to your place. So I threatened her with this model gun and she let me come in with her!”

“Model gun?” Namie questioned, turning to look over at Shingen.

“Oh? Didn’t I tell you?” he said simply, aiming the gun into the air and shooting confetti out of the barrel.

Namie then turned her attention to Izaya. “Shouldn’t we report this guy to the police?”

Without a response, Izaya turned and walked into the kitchen where he poured himself a cup of tea to warm himself from the chill of the outdoors which seemed to be embedded into his skin. Meanwhile, Shingen continued his rambling.

“Oh? Won’t you be the ones in trouble if you do that?” Shingen began, “Once the police conduct a search of this room based on my testimony, they’ll find the head of some young woman! I see... This might become a first rate scandal to take the place of the Slasher.”

“So, Shinra does get his twisted personality from you after all.” Izaya pointed out while pouring his tea.

“You won’t get anything for complimenting me.” he responded, “Well, to be honest, I’m in no rush to get the head back.”

“Oh?” Izaya had to admit, that was a bit surprising to hear. He had walked over to his desk and now leaned against it, waiting for Shingen to continue.

“The executives at my company are quite surprised at what they saw of Celty on TV.” He explained, “They’ve decided that her body should be studied before her head. That’s why I’ve unilaterally decided that the location of her head is ‘currently under investigation’. After all, it seems that you’ve taken quite an interesting approach concerning her head. Based on the theory that a valkyrie is a dullahan, you try to awaken it by causing a power struggle. What a unique idea.”

“Well, I’m testing it in various ways.” Izaya admitted after taking a sip of tea, “If worse comes to worst, I might just have to bring it to a war zone. Anyway, I’d be happy to cooperate with you.”

“Great. I’m also interested in you. There aren’t many people around who’d conduct research from a mythological point of view, including myself.”

“Thanks.” Izaya said with a light chuckle.

“Well now, why don’t I give you a piece of advice? If you do cause some manufactured conflict in order to stimulate either Celty’s head or spirit, Don’t involve her in some clash of wills between other people, but rather, make her body the center of it all.” Shingen picked up a handful of game pieces and dropped them over the board as he spoke. He then turned around and headed out the door while he put in his final thought. “And then throw those around her into the fire.”

“That’s what I plan on doing.” Izaya said quietly. “In fact, things are progressing in that direction much faster than I’d anticipated.”

There was a pause as Izaya stood at his desk and sipped at his tea.

“So what is it that you have planned exactly?” Namie asked after a few moments.

“I don’t know, Namie…” Izaya began, breaking out of his quiet tone in favor of a more scornful one. “I’m afraid if I tell you, someone might pull a cardboard knife on you and you’d spill the beans on my little conspiracy.”

“Oh, shut up.” She defended, “It wasn’t like I could see the damn thing clearly when he had it pressed against my back!”

Izaya set his tea down on the desk as he laughed, afraid he’d spill it as he doubled over from his laughter at Namie’s justification.

“Ouch!” his laughter was cut short when a small hard object struck the side of his head. Holding the spot in his hand, Izaya looked to his left to see what had hit him.

It was the small compact mirror that Namie kept in her bag. Picking it up, Izaya quickly caught a glimpse of a bright red eye in the mirror, but when he looked back it was gone. Namie didn’t seem to notice anything, so Izaya opted to ignore it for now.

“You know, at any other job you’d be fired for throwing something at your boss’ head.”

…~-~…

It took a little while, but eventually, Izaya and Namie had gotten to work. They were very productive for the first hour, but it didn’t take much longer than that before Izaya let his mind wander.

For the next two hours, Izaya didn’t get much work done. His thoughts always returned to the Slasher, and of course, Saika.

By about eight o’clock in the evening, Izaya and Namie were both working in absolute silence.

Well, Namie was working while Izaya stared absentmindedly at his computer screen. Even though he had a lot he wanted to say—mainly about the Slasher case—Izaya had decided to keep quiet for once, and he was sure Namie appreciated it. Besides, he could always just annoy her more when he was finished with his work if he wanted.

_“Cut…”_

Izaya jumped at the sudden voice, which once again, sounded as if it was being whispered in his ear. He shivered as the familiar chill ran down his spine.

“Everything okay over there?” Namie asked, eyeing Izaya suspiciously.

He quickly thought of an excuse. “Yes, yes. It’s just a little cold in here and I got a bit of a chill, that’s all.”

Namie raised a brow. “You sure? It looked like you almost jumped right out of your skin.”

“As I said, it was just a chill.” Izaya repeated, “Now get back to work. I don’t pay you to question my body’s reaction to temperature changes.”

“Okay, okay. I was just wondering is all.”

Namie continued talking a bit more, but Izaya completely shut her out. It was beyond rare for Saika to speak to him when there is someone else around. He had been caught off guard, and to top it off, Namie had seen him.

Yet even though the voice was clear as day to Izaya’s ears, Namie didn’t look as if she had noticed anything at all other than Izaya’s reaction.

Izaya waited in anticipation for what would come next, but strangely enough, he didn’t hear or see any more of Saika that evening.


	11. Chapter 11

“So who told you about me?” Izaya asked his newest guest, Niekawa Shuji.

“Well, I can’t reveal my sources…” the man responded, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

That was a test. Izaya knew it was Shiki because he had gotten a message from the man himself just a few hours before he got the call from Shuji. Shiki wanted to ensure that Shuji listened to the Awakusu-kai executive’s warning about keeping quiet when it came to talking about where he got his information.

“Whatever.” said Izaya simply, “You’re here for that ‘Troubled Times in Tokyo’ thing, right? They showcase things like strange happenings and gangs. So the next issue is about Ikebukuro?”

“Since you know all of that, it makes things easier.” Shuji said happily, “Actually, I’m thinking of writing an article that decides who the strongest person in Ikebukuro is.”

Izaya continued speaking as Namie handed Shuji a cup of tea.

“The stongest, huh?” he began, “There are tons of strong people in that city. In a fist fight it would be Simon from Russia Sushi. But if there aren’t any rules, then it’d be Shizu-chan.”

Shuji nearly choked on his drink before turning to Izaya with a look of astonishment. “‘Shi-Shizu-chan?!’”

“I mean Heiwajima Shizuo. You came to ask about him, didn’t you?”

“Well, yes…” Shuji seemed uncomfortable. “As for Shizuo…”

“He’s unpleasant.” Izaya interjected.

“Huh?”

Sitting at his desk, Izaya pulled out his emery board and began filing his nails. “It’s enough for me to be the only one who to know something about him. I try to learn some things about him since I’m no good at dealing with him, but that’s unpleasant, so I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Could you please try?”

Izaya blew on his nails casually, pausing for a moment before changing the subject.

Two days ago, Izaya had been commissioned by Natsujima Takashi to look up information on both Sonohara Anri and Niekawa Haruna. In the process, Izaya came across and interesting bit of information that led him to the conclusion that Haruna could potentially be the missing link in the Slasher case. Upon further research after Takashi left the apartment, Izaya found that Haruna had no alibis for many, if not all of the Slasher attacks. And the uneasy feeling inside him emanating from Saika brought him even closer to that conclusion.

And now here, coming to him for information, was the father of that very girl whom Izaya had been so keen on gathering information about.

“By the way, Niekawa-san, how’s your daughter?” Izaya asked.

 

“Eh?”

“As her parent, you must have been worried that she had to transfer over something like that.” Izaya began, “You’re the magazine writer who, six months ago, came into contact with Shizuo and ended up in the sky along with a streetlight. If you go sniffing out things around that city, you might end up interfering with my work.”

“Just who are—”

“I’m sure you’re already aware of it,” Izaya cut in, “but there have been some dangerous occurrences in that city.”

“Do they have anything to do with the conflict between the Dollars and Yellow Scarves?” Shuji suggested.

“That’s part of it.” said Izaya as he walked over to his bookshelf. He pulled out one of the books he had used to study Saika when he was young, and flipped through the pages. “As are the slasher incidents that started it.”

“The Slasher?”

“Even though there’s already one uncontrollable urban legend here…” Izaya said to himself. Between Saika and Celty, this city was teeming with supernatural activity. “Oh, that’s right!” he said, looking up from the book, and putting it back. “If you want to know more about Heiwajima Shizuo, I can introduce you to a close friend of his.”

Izaya pulled out his phone, and sent a quick text to Celty to meet Shuji in Ikebukuro park.

As Shuji was walking out the door, Izaya sat down and turned on his television. He then thought of one more thing. “Oh yeah, here’s a piece of advice: You shouldn’t talk to Shizuo about his younger brother.”

And on that note, Shuji left to meet with Celty.

Just a few minutes later, Namie left for the day as well.

Izaya smiled to himself. Shuji didn’t seem to have a clue about what was going on with his daughter. Apparently, he was too wrapped up in supporting her financially than caring about where she went nearly every night.

 _“Stop…”_ Saika whispered to him.

Izaya turned off the television and sighed. The whisper never failed to give him chills, but he wasn’t as surprised by it anymore.

“Stop what?” Izaya responded.

_“Stop interfering…”_

“‘Interfering’?!” Izaya blurted, “This has everything to do with me, and since you refuse to talk to me reasonably, I’ll just have to figure this all out on my own!”

_“You should have just listened to me before…”_

“We’ve been over this! I don’t want to cut people for you!”

 _“Which is why I have to learn to do it without you…”_ Saika paused for a moment, and in those few seconds, Izaya suddenly began to feel very weak. _“I’m getting stronger, Izaya…”_ Saika whispered in a voice that sounded eerily like his own.

Izaya could only watch in astonishment with his head in his hands as the image he had been seeing in his reflection materialized before his eyes.

Saika stood in front of him, admiring his own hands—which looked exactly like Izaya’s—before those crimson eyes, glowing with an ethereal light, locked with Izaya’s.

_“The more my children cut, the stronger I get…”_

Saika then held his hand out towards the game board. Izaya stiffened when the pieces lifted up into the air on their own. When the pieces suddenly dropped back in place, Izaya’s full attention returned to the figure in front of him.

_“But there’s still one problem…”_

Izaya tensed as Saika reached his hand out towards Izaya’s chest—more specifically, his heart. He was unable to move as Saika’s hand passed through Izaya’s chest, leaving a deep chill in its wake.

_“I still can’t touch you…”_

Izaya shivered again as Saika removed his hand, his heart rate skyrocketing.

_“And the more you fear me, the easier it becomes to use your own strength against you… You see, by stealing your energy, I can manifest myself like this…”_

He couldn’t move. He was beginning to feel very weak, his eyes slipping closed of their own accord as he fell over on the couch, feeling consciousness begin to leave him. His breath came in short gasps as his body refused to take in air. He felt like he was suffocating.

_“Of course, I can’t take it all from you… I still need your body for now…”_

When Izaya was able to open his eyes, Saika was gone, and a bit of his strength returned to him. He could breathe again, and he was able to sit up.

Leaning back on the couch, Izaya could feel his body trembling. Whether it was more from exhaustion or terror, Izaya wasn’t sure. Taking a few shaky deep breaths, Izaya calmed himself enough to bring his heart rate back to normal.

_“You can’t control me anymore, Izaya… I know your weakness…”_

“And what would that be?” Izaya retorted.

_“You’ll find out soon enough…”_

Izaya stood on wobbling legs; however, his exhaustion prevented him from going any further. His knees buckled, and he collapsed back on the couch, where he instantly passed out.


	12. Chapter 12

“Hey, wake up you idiot!”

Izaya groaned at Namie’s voice, rolling over on his side in hopes that she’d just go away. But instead, he just got a knee to the back.

“Ouch!” Izaya exclaimed as he rolled back to face his secretary, “That hurt!”

“Suck it up. I’ve been here for two hours already, and you haven’t moved once!”

It was then that Izaya realized that he was still on the couch where he had passed out last night. He quickly looked around the room until his eyes fell on what he had been looking for. Saika stood directly behind Namie, looking down at Izaya with a large grin spread across his face.

“You okay? You’re looking a little pale…” Namie followed Izaya’s gaze. “What are you looking at?”

“Ah, nothing.” Izaya said, quickly realizing that Namie could not see a red-eyed version of him standing behind her. “I was working last night, and I guess I fell asleep on the couch.”

“Whatever…” Namie said, turning on her heels back to her desk, “Just get up and get to work.”

“I thought the _boss_ was supposed to tell the _secretary_ to get to work, not the other way around!” Izaya sneered. “I’m going to take a shower first.”

As Izaya stood and headed upstairs, Saika followed him. Izaya quickly closed the door before Saika could follow him into the bathroom only to turn around to see Saika standing directly in front of him.

Izaya jumped back against the door, startled by the red-eyed man before him.

 _“Surprised to see me?”_ Saika said with a small laugh.

“What do you think you’re doing?!” Izaya asked sternly.

 _“I might not have a_ physical _form, but if I can have my own body, I might as well take advantage of it.”_

“Namie can’t see you…?”

_“No, as of right now, I can only project my image to you.”_

“‘As of right now’?” Izaya repeated.

 _“As I said last night, I’m getting stronger.”_ Saika stated, _“It won’t be long before I have a complete tangible form.”_

Turning away from Saika, Izaya bit his lip as he quickly turned on the hot water in the shower, and threw his clothes to the side. He ignored Saika as he stepped inside, feeling the hot water scald his skin.

He didn’t care.

The water burned his skin, but he didn’t care. He simply let the pain wake him up as he tried to ignore the fact that there was a demonic entity standing right outside the shower curtain.

When he finished his shower, Izaya brushed past Saika, ignoring the grin still plastered to its face. Izaya didn’t pay attention to Saika’s staring as he quickly got dressed, and headed back downstairs where Namie was at work.

As he sat in his chair, he could feel Saika standing behind him, but Namie didn’t take any notice. Izaya soon got to work as it gradually became easier to ignore Saika staring at him, though it was still uncomfortable.

He was still tired, but not nearly as exhausted as he was when Saika appeared last night. Apparently, it wasn’t lying when it said it was getting stronger… But to get that much stronger overnight…

Through his work, Izaya soon found out that there had been another Slasher attack; the victim being none other than Niekawa Shuji.

The rest of the day was spent with Izaya moving back and forth between his laptop on the couch, to his desktop computer by Namie. For the most part, Saika sat on the couch, but sometimes it followed Izaya back to his desk and merely stood behind him, much to Izaya’s chagrin.

By the time Namie left for the day, she had already been forced to make dinner for Izaya, and had left looking quite irritated after she finished preparing it.

Izaya took a few bites of the nikujaga, grimacing slightly at the sweetness. He should have known she would make something he didn’t like, but luckily, she hadn’t made it _too_ sweet.

He continued to pick at the small bowl of rice in front of him as Saika continued to stare at him as it had been doing all day. Izaya had chosen to ignore it, knowing that the more he acknowledged it, the more control it could have over him.

So instead of trying to talk to it, Izaya ate his dinner in silence, and cleaned up before signing in to the chatroom for the night, eager to see what Celty and Mikado had to say about the Slasher incident.

 **Kanra:** Did you hear? The victim of today’s slasher attack was apparently writing an article on Tokyo’s troubled times for “Tokyo Warrior”.

 **Tanaka Taro:** Woah, so he’s a journalist?

 **Setton:** Eh? Really?

 **Kanra:** Come on… Have I ever lied to you before?

 **Setton:** Is he alright?

 **Tanaka Taro:** Do you know him, Setton?

 **Setton:** Uh, no. I’m a fan of the article.

 **Tanaka Taro:** Huh, maybe I should read it some time. Anyway, that’s pretty scary.

 **Setton:** I wish the police the best of luck.

**-Saika has entered the chat-**

**Kanra:** IT’S HEEERRREEE!!!!! -------- \\( ‘ Д ‘ )/--------

Looking up from his computer, Izaya could see Saika sitting at his laptop on the couch with a smile on its face.

“Using my laptop again, I see?” Izaya said, irritation clear in his voice.

Saika did not respond.

 **Tanaka** **Taro:** Oh?

 **Setton:** Eh?

 **Saika:** I cut.

 **Kanra:** It cut!

Izaya wasn’t sure why Saika was telling him this, or why it was saying this in the chatroom in particular.

 **Saika:** Today, I cut.

 **Kanra:** I’m the one who wants to cut you!

Glaring at the form of himself on his laptop, Izaya reiterated what he had said the last time Saika had appeared in the chatroom. But still, Saika was not fazed.

 **Saika:** But, Still, No Good… Strong People, Like…

“Will you just _shut up_!” Izaya said, raising his voice as his frustration began to appear.

There was still no response from Saika.

 **Setton:** Saika! Good evening!

 **Kanra:** It’s no use, Setton, it won’t reply to anything we say.

 **Saika:** I have to cut more.

“I mean it, Saika!” Izaya tried again, “Quit it!”

 **Tanaka** **Taro:** That’s rather eerie. Cutting people and all that… With this whole slasher thing…

Damn. Had Mikado already started to figure this out?

 **Kanra:** Hahaha nice.

Izaya tried his best to put on the appearance that he had no idea what was happening.

 **Saika:** Strong people,

 **Saika:** Want to love,

 **Saika:** I found.

 **Saika:** Purpose.

 **Saika:** Love.

Izaya snapped. “IS THIS SUPPOSED TO SCARE ME?!” he bellowed, unable to control his anger.

Saika still didn’t respond.

 **Saika:** Shizuo.

A small gasp escaped Izaya’s lips at the name that had just appeared on his screen. He froze, unable to respond verbally, let alone via chat.

 **Setton:** Eh?

 **Saika:** Heiwajima Shizuo.

Every one of Izaya’s muscles grew tense.

 **Tanaka** **Taro:** Eh? Do you know Shizuo?

 **Saika:** Heiwajima Heiwajima Heiwajima Heiwajima Heiwajima Heiwajima Heiwajima Heiwajima

 **Saika:** Heiwajima Heiwajima Heiwajima Heiwajima Heiwajima Heiwajima Heiwajima Heiwajima Heiwajima Heiwajima Heiwajima Heiwajima Heiwajima Heiwajima Heiwajima Heiwajima

 **Saika:** Shizuo Shizuo Shizuo Shizuo Shizuo Shizuo Shizuo Shizuo Shizuo Shizuo Shizuo Shizuo Shizuo Shizuo Shizuo Shizuo Shizuo Shizuo Shizuo Shizuo Shizuo

 **Saika:** I love you

 **Saika:** Shizuo

 **Saika:** I love you

 **Saika:** I love you I love you I love you.

 **Saika:** Heiwajima Shizuo

 **Saika:** cut love

 **Saika:** Heiwajima

 **Saika:** cut cut

 **Saika:** My mother’s wish,

 **Saika:** Shizuo,

 **Saika:** My mother’s wish,

 **Saika:** Shizuo,

 **Saika:** I love you.

 **Saika:** Shizuo.

**-Saika has left the chatroom-**

**Kanra:** I have to go.

**-Kanra has left the chatroom-**

It probably seemed suspicious for him to log out so abruptly, but he didn’t care. His anger controlled his actions now.

Leaping out of his chair, Izaya charged at Saika, all rational thought gone from his head.

_“HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”_

Saika laughed as Izaya tried and failed to tackle Saika, his body falling straight through Saika’s intangible form.

“What the fuck are you trying to do?!” Izaya yelled, standing up from the couch as his entire body shook with rage. “What does Shizuo have to do with anything?!”

_“Why do you care…?”_

“I… I don’t! I just want to know why _you_ do!” Izaya clenched his fists.

 _“I think you do…”_ Saika teased, _“You’re quite upset right now, aren’t you?”_

“Just stay away from him! He has nothing to do with this!”

_“On the contrary… I believe he does…”_

“What?!” Izaya blurted, “How?! What could that brute possibly be involved in this?!”

 _“He’s strong…”_ Saika began, _“With him under my control, I could gain so much more power… Also… I believe he is your weakness as well…”_

“Oh? How so?” Izaya was curious.

 _“I can’t say for sure at the moment, but you_ are _rather possessive of him…”_

“‘Possessive of him’?! Where would you get an idea like that?!”

_“You never sell information on him… You say that you are the only one who needs to know about him…”_

Izaya didn’t respond. He didn’t know what to say.

_“I will take Heiwajima Shizuo under my control. His strength will become my own…_

_And you can’t stop me.”_


	13. Chapter 13

Izaya hadn’t slept well that night. His dreams were haunted by visions of Shizuo…

Shizuo with Saika’s glowing red eyes.

Curling up into himself, Izaya sent out a text to Namie, telling her not to come in today. He couldn’t think about work today… Not when more pressing matters were at hand.

Izaya showered at record speed, pulling his clothes on as quickly as possible as to avoid wasting any more time.

“Saika.” he demanded, “Show yourself. Now.”

 _“Oh…?”_ Saika’s voice came from behind him. _“So you_ want _to see me now…?”_

Izaya shuddered at the clarity of Saika’s voice. It seemed that as the days passed, Saika was able to project himself and his voice with more and more ease.

“Yes. I want to have a serious discussion with you about all of this.”

_“Do you, now?”_

Izaya hesitated slightly, his voice becoming a bit more desperate. “Yes. I want to know exactly what you’re planning to do with this whole ‘Slasher’ thing. Please, tell me.”

_“And why would you want to know that…?”_

“Because you seem to be targeting me specifically these past few weeks. I want to know why, and I want to know what you plan on doing with this army you’ve been building.”

_“Hmm… I guess I can tell you. It’s too late to stop me anyway…”_

Izaya let out a shaky breath. “Yes… I know it is…”

He couldn’t deny that he was practically powerless against Saika at this point. But maybe, just _maybe_ , if he could learn what Saika had planned, he might be able to find a way to stop it.

 _“Where should I begin…?”_ Saika said, tapping its finger on its chin.

“What are you planning on doing with the people you’ve possessed?” Izaya asked.

_“Ah, yes… I am simply loving humans the way I want to love them. I’m sick of your twisted love… I want my own body. The more I cut, the stronger I get. And the more you fear my strength, the easier it becomes for me to weaken the hold your body has on my soul. In separating from you, I will be able to love humans the way I want to, and at this rate, I will control the entire city in just a few months… The only thing in my way right now is Anri, but I will find a way to deal with her once I’m stronger.”_

And then it clicked for Izaya. “I think I understand what’s going on here.”

_“You do, huh?”_

“Yes,” Izaya began, “You kept a small piece of yourself out in the world to ensure your survival, but when Sonohara Anri found you, she was able to control you. Meaning that once you decided to separate from me, it was impossible. Anri wouldn’t listen to your voice, and so once you gathered a bit more energy, you split from Anri’s piece. I have to admit, that’s clever considering I would have felt you split if you had done it directly through me. So you chose a weaker mind—Niekawa Haruna—who had been hurt by her love. She was weak enough to listen to your voice. So you’re using her to cut for you and gain more power. Am I correct?”

_“Yes. That is correct. Your perceptivity is astounding as usual.”_

“Wait, there’s more. I get the feeling that Haruna’s love might be too strong for you to control her completely. I read up on her. She truly is _obsessed_ with Takashi. Is it possible that she is able to control you in her as well to some extent?”

_“…”_

“That’s what I thought. Thank you Saika, you have given me enough information.” Izaya said with a satisfied smile.

 _“What do you plan to do?”_ Saika asked.

“Oh don’t worry, You’ll find out soon enough…” Izaya said calmly, “And you can’t stop me.”

…~-~…

 _“Watch over her.”_ The voice had said.

Niekawa Shuji followed the girl, doing as the voice commanded. He watched over her all day, not knowing exactly why, or what he was supposed to watch for. All he knew was that he had to listen to that voice.

That is, until a stronger voice commanded him to attack.

The girl stood at the end of an alleyway. He couldn’t see what she was doing, but her back was turned to him. When she turned around, Shuji raised his weapon.

 _“Cut her.”_ The voice commanded.

He ran at her, only to be stopped as a large object struck him.

“Did he die?” A female voice asked from above him.

“You’re horrible, Kadota-san!” An enthusiastic voice said, “This is how you act right after saying you want to live in peace?!”

“I had no other choice.” Another person responded, “Either way it was self-defense.”

Shuji took hold of his blade once again, and pulled himself off the ground, quickly slicing at the people who had tried to stop him from fulfilling his duties.

He managed to zero in on his target, and pushed his way past the ones who had interfered. He swung his blade around him as he charged towards the girl.

Just as he was sure his task would be complete, Shuji was suddenly hit again with enough force to send him flying back a ways, hitting the ground hard.

“The Headless Rider and… Shizuo?”

Shuji stood slowly, finding he couldn’t feel any pain.

“Do-Dotachin! He’s—”

“Are you some kind of monster?”

The voices continued, but Shuji ignored them all. The only thing he cared about was the one word…

“You’re… Heiwajima Shizuo?” Shuji said, getting back on his feet. “I wanted to meet you, Shizuo… I love you very, very, very, very much, Shizuo.”

“I get it.” Shizuo said quietly. “I’m going to kill you.”

The words coming out of his mouth were not his own, but in the back of his mind, Shuji remembered the reason why he had been wandering around Ikebukuro for so long. ‘That’s right… I’m going to interview Heiwajima Shizuo, the strongest…’

Shizuo grinned. “Kadota, I’m borrowing your door.” He said, tearing the door of the van off to use as a shield. Then he ran forward.

‘If I can write a good article, everything’s bound to go well. My wife will come back. My relationship with my daughter will get better, too. It’ll be like the good old days. Definitely.’

Then he fell unconscious.

…~-~…

“So what are we going to do about him?” Kadota asked.

“Let’s start by calling an ambulance.” Walker suggested.

But Shizuo wasn’t paying attention. He couldn’t get a single thought out of his mind.

“Something…” he said to himself out loud, taking a long drag of his cigarette, “…about this doesn’t seem right. Why?”

He paused. Giving it a moment’s thought before coming to a decision.

“I’m going to Shinjuku for a bit to kill Izaya.” he said, turning around and heading for Izaya’s place.

He just knew that the Flea had something to do with this. He wasn’t sure what or why exactly, but he just _knew_.

…~-~…

The more Izaya thought about it, the more it made sense. He didn’t do it for Saika. No, he would never intentionally help Saika unless it would help himself more.

But at the moment, protecting Sonohara Anri seemed to be the best thing to do…

At least for now.

Izaya contacted Takashi, giving him Anri’s address as he had wanted from Izaya before. He also suggested that Takashi go to see her tonight. Of course, Takashi didn’t even question Izaya’s motives, and agreed that he wanted to see her.

Izaya and Saika both knew that Haruna would stop her attack in Takashi’s presence, and so sending him was a sure-fire way of protecting Anri.

Of course, Izaya and Saika both had different reasons for wanting this outcome.

Saika only wanted his other piece safe from being killed by Haruna.

Izaya on the other hand planned farther ahead than that. In protecting Anri, Izaya would ensure that the only other piece of the original Saika that was out in the world was one that could be controlled by its host. Not only that, but Izaya knew from his research that Anri seemed to only want to live a peaceful life, meaning that she would never use Saika for her own gain like Haruna.

Anri would want to stop Haruna, and she definitely had the power to do it. This would ensure that there wouldn’t be any new children of Saika running around in the near future, and it would also prevent Saika from getting any stronger as long as it didn’t try to branch out again.

After his conversation with Takashi, Izaya quickly stepped out of his apartment to a nearby vending machine where he bought himself a soda. He was beginning to feel a bit tired, and decided that he could use a caffeine boost quicker than it took to brew coffee.

And so, he stood in the first floor lobby, sipping at his soda. He debated going for a short walk. He could use some fresh air.

“Izzzzaaaayyyyaaaaaa-kuuuuuuun”

Oh, goodie.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These chapters have a lot of anime dialogue which I apologize about. I wanted to really drive home the connections I was trying to make between this story and the plot of the anime.

“Izzzzaaaayyyyaaaaaa-kuuuuuuun”

Izaya smiled when he saw Shizuo calling him from outside the building.

‘Does that idiot really think I’d hear him from there if I was in my apartment?’ Izaya thought.

Hiding behind the vending machine, Izaya watched as Shizuo stepped inside the building, and made his way through the lobby.

“Let’s plaaaaay…”

Before Shizuo could kick down the door, Izaya snuck up behind him, and smiled lightly to himself as he tried to balance his empty soda can on Shizuo’s shoulder.

The can clattered to the ground as Shizuo spun around to face his nemesis.

“Why are you here, Shizu-chan?” Izaya asked, genuinely curious. Shizuo rarely showed up at his apartment. Shinjuku was Izaya’s turf after all as far as Shizuo was concerned.

“To punch you, obviously.” Shizuo said bluntly.

Of course.

“And why do I deserve to be punched?”

“Because you pissed me off!” Shizuo responded angrily.

“Aren’t you a bit old to be acting like a bully, Shizu-chan.”

“Shut up.” Shizuo interjected. “Just how involved in this are you?” he asked quietly.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Izaya said with a smile, heading for the door to avoid damage to the building from the inevitable fight to come.

Shizuo continued. “I’m talking about the Slasher causing uproar in Ikebukuro.”

Izaya had to admit, he was impressed by Shizuo’s intuition.

“That’s quite the accusation.” Izaya stated, neither confirming, nor denying Shizuo’s allegation.

“Ninety-nine percent of the time when something strange or unexplainable happens, you’re the one behind it!”

“Can’t you trust in that one percent this time?” Izaya said, throwing his arms out to the sides. He then pulled out his flick blade with a smile still on his face. “I figured you wouldn’t.”

Shizuo perked up at the sight with a look that Izaya recognized as one that meant he was ready to fight.

Izaya backed out the door, making sure to not let Shizuo out of his sight. All of his senses were on high alert thanks to the caffeine in the soda.

Shizuo casually walked over to the side of the road where he gripped the guardrail.

Izaya stood there, stunned at the brute’s weapon of choice. “Seriously?” Izaya asked himself.

He suddenly had the image of himself being hit like a baseball, and flying across the city.

That was something he’d like to avoid…

Izaya quickly took a ready stance, and held his knife out on front of him as Shizuo lifted the guard rail over his head.

And then the unexpected happened.

Out of nowhere, a black and yellow shape cut in front of Izaya’s vision, forcing him and Shizuo to take a step back to avoid being hit. When the shape stopped moving, Izaya realized it was actually Celty.

“Oh, my…” Izaya said to himself. He slipped his flick blade back into his pocket as Celty approached, sensing that their fight wasn’t going to happen.

“Celty? Why are you…?” Shizuo trailed off as Celty showed him her PDA.

“What is this?” Shizuo shifted his attention back to Izaya. “Did you plan this as well?”

“If I had the power to predict that Celty would show up, I would have dropped a meteor on your house by now.” Izaya said casually.

Without another word, Shizuo caught the helmet thrown at him, taking the hint and jumping on the back of Celty’s motorcycle.

As the sped away, Izaya stepped forward watching them disappear into the city.

“How’s an idiot like him so smart…?” Izaya whispered to himself, “That’s why I absolutely hate him…”

After a few moments, Izaya dragged himself back inside his apartment, no longer wanting to be outside.

“You know,” Izaya said, “When Anri stops Haruna—which we both know she will—your plan will be ruined. Anri will never let you get to her the way Haruna did.”

_“I’ll find a way… Don’t you worry…”_ Saika said, materializing in front of Izaya, _“I won’t lose the power I’ve attained even after my children are stopped. Their allegiance will shift to Anri, but they are still my children in the end…”_

“Either way, this only helps my own plan out further…”

_“And what plan is that?”_ Saika asked.

“My plan to wake Celty’s head, remember? With the city divided into the Yellow Scarves and the Dollars, won’t it just be even more interesting with Anri leading a third force in the city? Now all three friends are going to be involved in the war.”

_“Cruel… That is not how you love humans…”_

Izaya laughed. “Yes, well, consider it one of the ways I’m getting back at you for pissing me off so much lately.”

_“If I get control of Shizuo tonight, then this plan of yours will be ruined.”_

“And what makes you think you’ll get control of him, hmm?”

_“He is currently headed for where my children are gathering… They will cut him… He will be mine…”_

“No…” Izaya said flatly, “Shizuo won’t be controlled. He _can’t_ be controlled. Not even by me, and especially not by _you_.”

…~-~…

Shizuo sat on the back of Celty’s motorcycle, both of them looking around South Ikebukuro Park, waiting for the army that they knew would arrive soon.

The park was quiet, and devoid of any life other than the two waiting in the center. The color of the sky above them matched the stone on the ground, blending the scene into nothing but neutral dark grey which only served to make the duo stand out more.

But that was the point.

They had to wait for the Slasher’s victims to make its appearance. And hopefully, mixed in with the Slasher’s children would be their mother.

All they had to do was find the mother, and take it out.

It didn’t take much longer before they could hear the whispers being to surround them, disrupting the stillness of the evening.

“I love Shizuo…”

“Love…”

“Heiwajima Shizuo…”

“I love you…”

“Shizuo…”

In under a minute, Shizuo and Celty found themselves surrounded by people with glowing red eyes, each proclaiming his or her love for Shizuo in a sort of trace-like tone.

“I wanted to meet, Heiwajima Shizuo-san.” A girl stood at the head of the group as she spoke to Shizuo. “You truly are a sight to behold. Just as our mother said, everyone knows that my sister was defeated. The internet is quite convenient, no?”

Celty looked around, quickly realizing that the mother must not be here if it is using the girl instead of speaking to them itself.

“It was difficult in the beginning for us to learn to speak,” the girl continued, “but now our consciousness is just as well defined as our mother’s.” Pulling out her own weapon—a **butterfly knife** —the girl began spinning the blade in her hands as she became more excited. “Now, Shizuo-san, show us all just how strong you are! Then we’ll all love each other! We won’t let anyone—not even that monster over there—interfere. The police won’t even come! They’re rather busy right now because my sisters are out increasing our numbers all over the place!”

Nonchalantly stepping off of the back of Celty’s motorcycle, Shizuo calmly stood before the army of possessed knife-wielding citizens of Ikebukuro.

“Can I ask you something?” Shizuo questioned calmly.

“What is it?” the girl responded.

“Why do you like me so much?”

She didn’t hesitate to answer. “Because you’re strong. We want your ridiculous strength. So that we can love all of humanity!” she said enthusiastically, “Just like humans want superior genes, besides, there’s no human out there who’d love you, is there? However, we’ll love you.”

There was short pause as Shizuo took the girl’s words in. When he registered what she had just said, Shizuo’s only response was to laugh.

“[Pull yourself together Shizuo! If you don’t think you can do it, I’ll make it so you can get away!]”

“No Celty, Actually, I’m happy.” Shizuo said.

Celty tipped her helmet to the side.

“I’ve hated this power so much.” Shizuo began, looking at his hands. “I thought no one would accept me for who I am. However, all these people—how many of you are there?” he looked around at the army that surrounded them. “We’ll just say there are a lot. So I guess it’s okay... I guess it’s okay to recognize my own existence now... I guess it’s okay for me to like myself. This power that I absolutely hated and wanted to rid myself of… It’s okay to use all of it now.”

Shizuo paused and removed his sunglasses before addressing the red-eyed army. “By the way! You guys definitely aren’t, and never will be my type!” he declared. “The only person I hate more than you is Izaya.”

And with that, he charged in to the crowd head-on.

 


	15. Chapter 15

The fight continued for some time as Celty sat to the side and watched, too astonished to do anything other than stare at the spectacle before her as Shizuo knocked away each and every possessed citizen that ran at him.

She couldn’t help but admire Shizuo’s strength for what it was. It was truly amazing.

Celty was brought back to reality when the entirety of the Slasher’s victims abruptly halted their attack to stare off in one direction.

“Something happened, right?” Shizuo called out. “How about you go see what it is. You’re not doing anything anyway, right?”

Yes, that was true, but she didn’t want to leave Shizuo alone without any form of protection—not that he really needed it.

Then it hit her.

She quickly materialized a pair of gloves from her shadow and tossed them to Shizuo.

“[They’re made of the same stuff as my scythe.]” she explained, “[They’ll stop something as weak as a blade.]”

Shizuo smiled as he pulled the gloves on. “Thanks.”

After a few short moments, the possessed army snapped out of whatever had distracted them, and continued their attack.

Shizuo punched, kicked, jumped over, and shoved them out of his way so that he could get above them standing on the edge of the fountain in the park.

When they began to get too close, Shizuo tried to escape the only way he could find. He used their heads like stepping stones, jumping from one to the next in an attempt to reach the other side.

Needless to say, he didn’t get very far before he slipped and fell between them. Once he was down, they didn’t hesitate.

They slashed at him with their blades, making shallow cuts on his arms and legs; however, he was able to easily protect his face by holding his gloved hands in front.

Once they had completely packed themselves tightly around him, Shizuo smiled and quickly stood and delivered a roundhouse kick that sent them all flying in all directions.

_“Our love should have cut into him.”_

_“Our thoughts should flow into his body through fear and pain…”_

_“… But he doesn’t feel fear…”_

…~-~…

Izaya sat on his couch, lounging with a hot cup of green tea. With Saika distracted from pestering him, Izaya had a chance to relax a bit, and he was going to take full advantage of that.

He took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of the tea as he let it warm him up.

Once he finished the tea, reached out and set the cup on the coffee table and leaned back on the couch.

Less than a minute later, he was practically falling asleep on the couch seeing as the warm drink had relaxed him so much.

Ah, but there it was…

Izaya’s eyes opened when he felt Saika stirring anxiously within him.

_“Cut… My children cut him…”_

Raising a brow, Izaya waited for Saika to continue.

_“He doesn’t feel pain or fear…?”_

Izaya smiled. No. Heiwajima Shizuo isn’t human. Saika can’t control him the way it controls everyone else. Shizuo… Shizuo was safe. Safe from Saika’s voice and from its influence.

The thought was comforting to Izaya as he slipped back into his half-sleeping state.

If there was anyone that Izaya could count on to be a beacon of light in Saika’s red-tinged reign, it was Shizuo. The man who was less human than anyone Izaya had ever met—including a certain dullahan he came in contact with on a regular basis.

Shizuo was different.

Shizuo felt no fear.

And without even being aware of it, Shizuo was currently helping Izaya in his war against the creature that shared a body with him.

Ah, he’d have to thank the brute some time for proving to Saika that it isn’t as strong as it initially thought it was.

Izaya was still in control.

And all because Shizuo didn’t feel fear.

…~-~…

_“… Heiwajima Shizuo doesn’t feel fear…”_

‘Don’t misunderstand…’ Shizuo thought in response to the voices around him, ‘No one loves me because they’re afraid of me…? Don’t make me laugh. _I’m_ the one who’s scared! I can’t control this power, and I’m constantly afraid of failing. That’s right, I’m the biggest coward in the world! But so what if I am?! That’s got nothing to do with kicking your ass!’

‘Besides… I can’t lose in front of someone who loves me!’

And so he kept on fighting without fear. If this “Saika” wanted to see him use his strength, he wouldn’t hesitate. If this “Saika” loved him for his strength, then so be it. It would get to see exactly how strong he really was.

Running full force, Shizuo pulled his fist back, ready to deliver a blow to the girl who had spoken for Saika when her eyes unexpectedly lost their red glow.

‘Stop!’ he screamed at his body in his head. ‘Just stop!’

Shizuo skidded to a halt mere inches away from the girl, who dropped to the ground when she realized what had almost just happened to her.

Lowering his fist, Shizuo looked around to see that the red was gone from everyone’s eyes. They all stood looking around, completely confused as to where they were and why.

But what caught Shizuo’s attention was what he didn’t see.

There were no bodies.

Everyone who he had hit was standing up and conscious.

“So, no one died, huh?” Shizuo said to himself.

A great joy erupted through his system at the realization. He had used his full potential, and had still managed to hold back enough as to avoid any casualties.

“Hah… Hah… Hahahahahahaha!” Shizuo dropped to the ground as he laughed, relief flowing through him. “Finally!” he said, “It finally listened to me!”

…~-~…

“So…” Izaya said calmly in stark contrast to the anxious feeling emanating from Saika, “It seems that Sonohara Anri helped both of us in a way. Your army will listen to you a bit more directly instead of attacking the person who holds your other piece.”

_“Yes…”_ Saika said quietly.

At that moment, some miles away, Sonohara Anri heard a voice in her head speak to her. It said, “I might not be able to love you, but I don’t hate you either.”

 


	16. Chapter 16

A few short days later, Izaya sat on his couch with Celty’s head placed in the seat next to him. On the other side of the couch, Saika glared at the head, whispering the words “Inhuman” and “Monster” over and over again. Satisfied with the way Celty’s head kept Saika distracted, Izaya began moving the pieces on his game board around in accordance with the recent developments in the city. He almost couldn’t believe how quickly the game was progressing. Every day the Yellow Scarves’ hostility towards the Dollars grew, and the Dollars were taking notice.

Izaya let out a small laugh just before Namie—sitting at her desk—gave a random thought.

“Orihara Izaya is an odd name, don’t you think?” she said.

“It may be a coincidence that I was raised this way, but I think it suits me perfectly.” Izaya said, moving a few more pieces around on the board. “How much do you believe in coincidence, Namie?”

“What are you talking about?”

Izaya went on to inform Namie of his involvement in recent events. He told her about how he had found out about Haruna being the Slasher, and how he gave Anri’s address to Nasujima, and how Anri was in fact the real Saika. Of course, he _did_ leave out the part where Anri was actually only a small piece of the entity that was Saika, but that didn’t have much to do with the point he was trying to get across.

“Everything went just as planned.” He concluded.

“‘Just as planned?’” she repeated quizzically. “So what are you after?”

“Now this city’s been broken into three fractions: the Dollars, the Yellow Scarves and Saika’s army. And Saika has spies in both the Dollars and the Yellow Scarves.” The next bit was more for Saika to hear. “To be honest, I would have been fine with Niekawa Haruna leading the Saika group, but Sonohara Anri is pretty interesting.”

 _“What’s that supposed to mean?”_ Saika asked from its place across the couch. Apparently that was enough to pull its attention away from the head.

But Izaya ignored its question for now.

“And?” Namie asked sensing that Izaya had more to say.

“I’m fine with just causing some sparks for now. If we leave things alone, those sparks will smolder and smoke.” Leaning back on the couch, Izaya felt his excitement grow. “Oh, I just can’t wait any longer!”

“But the yellow scarves were formed by some middle school brat, right? Are they really that formidable?”

“The fact that he was able to gather that many people, despite being a kid shows that they’re already a threat. Well, it’s not like I don’t know him…” Izaya trailed off.

“You’re ridiculous…” Namie said quietly.

“Am I?”

“Yes. You play with people’s lives like they’re ants, but instead of directly burning them with a magnifying glass, you’d be the one to pour water just to the side of the anthill and watch as they all struggle to evade the flood.”

“Hahahaha! That’s an interesting way to think about it. But I suppose you’re right!”

Namie sighed. “And the fact that you are fully aware of that and can laugh about it is really annoying, do you know that?”

“Oh? Am I annoying you, Namie?” Izaya teased.

Standing up from her desk, Namie collected her things. “I’m done with you for today.” she said flatly. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

And with that, she left.

He didn’t really want her to leave quite yet, but Izaya didn’t even bother trying to stop her. After all, he didn’t have anything else for her to do, so what reason did he have to make her stay?

Because he didn’t want to be left alone with Saika?

Yeah, that’d go over well.

‘Hey, Namie, stay here so I don’t have to talk to this invisible person on my couch!’

Ha.

Speaking of the little bastard, Saika was currently staring him down with those bright red eyes.

Izaya didn’t respond verbally. Instead, he merely stared back at Saika.

A few minutes passed where the two of them sat in silence, staring at each other.

Then Saika broke the silence.

_“What did you mean when you said you’d be fine with Haruna leading my children…?”_

“Because I could have stopped Haruna any time I wanted by setting up a meeting between her and Nasujima. But Anri works just fine because she won’t even listen to you. She’ll ignore your voice, so I know I can count on her to not let you win. Also, she’s too much of a straight shooter to use the army that she now controls for anything but what she sees as ‘the right thing’”

Saika glared at Izaya. _“What do you think you’re doing…? Seriously…?”_

A light smile spread over Izaya’s features. “I’m starting a war. I thought that much was obvious.” he stated, “Maybe if Celty’s head wakes up and she takes me to Valhalla, I won’t have to deal with you anymore.”

 _“You know that’s not going to happen, right? I still don’t understand why you keep that monster’s head around…”_ Saika gestured to the head perched on the couch next to Izaya.

“I think Shizu-chan is much more of a monster than Celty.” Izaya reasoned, “At least Celty acts like a human.”

_“I can’t wait for the day I’m free of you and your pointless rambling…”_

Izaya laughed. “That’ll never happen.”

 _“That’s what you think…”_ A sinister smirk covered Saika’s face. _“I just need a little bit more power… Then after absorbing my other piece back into me, I will have my own body.”_

“Oh? Are you going to try and create another Slasher to get more power then?”

_“No… That won’t be necessary…”_

“Elaborate.”

_“I can get the rest from you…”_

Izaya tilted his head to one side. “I thought you didn’t want to take my energy because you need my body to live.”

_“No… I don’t need to take your energy… All I need is your fear… Your fear and pain is what gives me power…”_

“I’ve already told you, I’m not afraid of you.” Izaya said flatly, crossing his arms over his chest.

Izaya blinked once, and in that instant, Saika was face to face with him making Izaya reflexively jump back.

 _“And I’ve already told_ you _that you will be…”_

 


	17. Chapter 17

“I succumb to the illusion that I’m God when I look at it like this.” Izaya said, looking over his game board, “It feels pretty good, you know? Three way fights are great.” Izaya continued while maneuvering pieces into position, “Moreover, all three leaders are friends with each other.”

Picking up a bottle of lighter fluid, Izaya doused the center of the board where he had concentrated three kings to represent each leader surrounding Celty—the black queen piece. “KAMI-SAMA ATTACK!” He yelled out cheerfully.

Lighting a match, Izaya held the small fragile flame just above his eye-level, admiring the way it flickered at the slightest movement. “The sweeter the honeymoon, the higher the flames of despair rise when it all comes crashing down!” he said, dropping the match.

As the flames rapidly engulfed the Shogi board, Izaya could envision the chaos of the city in the blaze. He laughed. “Look! The pawns burn like garbage!” he declared before pulling out a deck of cards. “Now what do the cards say about the non-pawns? Kadota’s group… Shinra… Simon… Hmm… I guess Shizu-chan would be the king.”

He dropped Shizuo’s card into the fire.

“Celty’s the queen I suppose.”

Celty’s card was also dropped into the chaos.

“And the joker…”

Izaya paused for a moment, during which time, Saika—sitting next to him as usual—gave a short laugh of its own.

“Whatever.” Izaya said, dropping the rest of the cards on the fire. He didn’t very much like the idea of himself being the “joker” of the deck. His position in this war was far above something as petty as the joker card.

Izaya turned to Saika with a smile. “It has gotten fun hasn’t it?” He then looked down at the head seated next to him. “You think so too right?”

“Are you talking to that thing?” Namie asked without looking up from her work.

“I might be.” Izaya responded, “But at least I’m not falling in love with it like that brother of yours!”

“Damn it, leave Seji out of this.”

“Oh? Have I made you angry…?” he teased.

Without a word, Namie stood and walked out the door.

‘Maybe she’s making a phone call?’ Izaya thought. She had left all of her things, so she wouldn’t be gone for long.

Turning his attention back to the flames in front of him, Izaya watched as the features of the game pieces gradually began to burn away.

And then it was gone in a small burst of white.

“Hey!” Izaya yelled.

He snapped his head up to see Namie holding a fire extinguisher and glaring at him.

“You’re going to set off the fire alarm.” she said flatly, “Then the cops would show up and find the head.”

Izaya sighed looking at the mess on his coffee table. “Fine, fine…”

“And I’m not cleaning that up.” she added, turning back to her desk.

Saika laughed as Izaya grumbled to himself, standing up to get a towel, shooting a glare at Saika as he did so.

When Izaya finished cleaning, he fell back on the couch. “Naaaamiiiieee!” he called out.

“What?” she responded irritably.

“Go make dinner.” he said.

Namie stood from her desk and briskly headed for the kitchen, stopping for a moment when she reached the couch. “I should just poison you or something.” she said before continuing on her way.

“Ah, but then you’d lose _another_ job!” he responded, still lying on the couch.

“Shut up!” he heard her say from the kitchen.

Izaya smiled as he closed his eyes and let out a deep breath.

_“So are you just going to ignore me…?”_

“That’s the idea.” He mumbled in response.

A few moments of peace passed before Izaya began to feel uneasy. Opening his eyes, he saw Saika standing over him, glaring down at him with those eyes that seemed to glow red.

Izaya merely turned on his side and closed his eyes, facing away from Saika.

He wasn’t going to let Saika get to him anymore.

It was time to fight back.

And although it was an immature thing to do, it worked.

He could feel Saika begin to grow increasingly irritated as time passed.

 _“Hey…”_ Saika said.

Izaya didn’t respond.

 _“I’m talking to you, Izaya…”_ Saika raised his voice.

Again, Izaya ignored him.

 _“Listen to me…”_ Saika whispered into Izaya’s ear, which as always, sent a chill down Izaya’s spine.

However, he managed to suppress a physical response to Saika’s words, and remained still and calm.

_“DAMN IT, DON’T IGNORE ME!”_

“Hey.” Namie’s voice rang loud and clear in Izaya’s ears. “You going to eat, or just pass out on the couch?”

Izaya opened his eyes and sat up. “Ah, Namie. Sorry, I guess I dozed off a bit there.” Izaya took the bowl from Namie’s hands. “Thanks.”

Saika’s frustration still hung in the air as it clenched its fists and sat back down on the other side of the couch.

Smiling softly, Izaya ate his dinner, and spent the remainder of the night working.

Saika seemed to have taken the hint, and said nothing more that night.

…~-~…

The next day had gone fairly well. Izaya didn’t completely ignore Saika, and in return, Saika didn’t speak to him very much at all.

Namie came and left in an uneventful day, leaving Izaya alone in his apartment as usual.

Well… Not _completely_ alone…

 _“What are you up to now…?”_ Saika asked in response to Izaya’s incessant giggling from his desk.

“Oh, nothing really…” he responded, “Just checking up on my war.”

In an instant, Saika was standing behind Izaya, looking over his shoulder at his computer where he was currently logged in to the chatroom.

**-Saika has entered the chat-**

Izaya smiled. Apparently, Celty had invited Anri into the chatroom, and allowing her to use the name “Saika”. Of course, Anri was under the impression that it was her Saika that had gone rogue and had been flooding the chatroom with messages. But how could it know about the chatroom, when Anri didn’t even know that it existed until now?

 **Tanaka Taro** : Oh, good evening Saika.

 **Kanra** : Good evening.

 **Setton** : Welcome back!

 **Saika** : Good evening, um... I’m sorry.

 **Tanaka Taro** : Why are you apologizing?

 **Kanra** : You weren’t familiar with the internet before, so you got a virus and that’s how everything happened, right? You can’t help that.

Izaya smiled as he thought of a quick little lie to make it seem as if he and the others in the chatroom were oblivious to what had really happened.

 **Saika** : Sorry, sorry.

 **Tanaka Taro** : You’re apologizing too much.

Turning to look at Saika—the real Saika—Izaya’s smile twisted into a sinister one.

“Watch this.” he said to Saika, turning back to face his computer.

It was time to start fighting back.

 **Kanra** : By the way, Saika, do you know of a gang called the yellow scarves?

 _“What are you doing…?”_ it asked quietly.

 **Saika** : You mean the people who wear yellow around the city?

 **Kanra** : Yeah, that’s them. There’s also another group that’s a lot like them called the Dollars. And due to the Slasher incidents, both of those groups are in pretty dire situations right now.

_“Izaya… Don’t…”_

Saika seemed to catch on a lot faster than Izaya thought it would.

 **Saika** : Um... What do you mean by that?

 **Setton** : Give it a rest, Kanra. Don’t bring that stuff up with someone who doesn’t know anything about it.

 **Kanra** : No, no. You have to know this stuff if you live in Ikebukuro. The perpetrator in the Slasher case has yet to be caught, right? Anyway, both the yellow scarves and the Dollars have had their members fall victim to the Slasher. Apparently they both think that the slasher is in league with the other gang.

 **Tanaka Taro** : The Dollars don’t seem so hung up on that idea… They don’t know much about each other so I’m sure that breeds misunderstandings.

 **Kanra** : Either way, if neither of them takes matters into their own hands with the Slasher, blood will rain down upon Ikebukuro. It’ll be really scary… Now that’s a real rivalry!

 **Saika** : Sorry, thank you.

A small laugh escaped Izaya. Celty was probably trying to reassure her via private mode.

 **Saika** : Um… excuse me, but this is it for me today.

 **Tanaka Taro** : Okay. See you around, Saika!

 **Kanra** : ‘Night!

 **Setton** : See you!

**-Saika has left the chatroom.**

**Setton** : Alright, I guess I’ll be logging off too.

 **Tanaka Taro** : See you later!

 **Kanra** : See you around!

**Setton has left the chatroom**

**PRIVATE CHAT:**

**Tanaka Taro** : Kanra-san, about the slasher incidents.

 **Kanra** : I’ll let you know if I find anything out. And at a discounted price.

 **Tanaka Taro** : The real perpetrator has to be somewhere in this city. The sooner he’s caught, the sooner the Yellow Scarves can clear up their misunderstandings.

 **Kanra** : I wonder if it’ll really be that easy… Neither the yellow scarves nor the dollars are completely cohesive groups. There’ll be some people who shake down members of the other group in the name of that rivalry. It’ll simply turn into real conflict if things keep going like this.

 **Tanaka Taro** : I won’t let that happen.

 **Kanra** : I wonder, I don’t think you can stop it anymore. And there’s nothing you can do about the Yellow Scarves.

 **Tanaka Taro** : Even so, I won’t let it happen.

 **Kanra** : Hmm I’m looking forward to that.

With that, he and Tanaka Taro ended their conversation. Standing up to face Saika, Izaya’s grin widened.

_“What do you think you’re going to do…?”_

“I’m going to do as I’ve been doing. I’m going to start a war.” he said.

_“Don’t involve her in your clash of gangs like this… She’ll get hurt…”_

“Ah, but that too is a part of the plan at this point,” Izaya began, “I saved her from Haruna before, but now that I’ve given it more thought, I’ve decided it would be better for me if I made you worry for her safety.”

_“Cruel…”_

“Oh, don’t worry. She won’t get killed in this! Well, actually, if things get a bit more serious as they seem to be, then she might…” Izaya paused. “Ah well! It’s not my problem if that happens!” he said cheerfully, heading upstairs.

Izaya slept well that night, knowing that he could counter Saika’s intimidation with his own.


	18. Chapter 18

His eyes blinked open as the light from the window reached his face. Shifting away from the direct sunlight, Izaya let out a small moan as he stretched his arms and legs in his bed.

Yes, he had slept very well last night. Probably the best sleep he’d gotten in the past six months.

Rolling over on his side, Izaya took a deep breath and relaxed on the bed. It wasn’t too often he had the chance to relax like this. Especially with the way Saika has been acting up. But after a great night’s sleep, he was feeling ready for anything that the damn demon could throw at him.

Yup. As he rolled over to face the other direction, he was even ready to see Saika staring down at him as it loomed over the bed.

“Ah, good morning, Saika.” Izaya said cheerfully.

Saika’s eyes narrowed at him, but it didn’t say anything. Izaya vaguely wondered if it had been watching him all night…

…Because that is _not_ okay.

But there wasn’t anything he could have done about it anyway, so Izaya opted to not even bother asking.

 _“Anri is upset…”_ Saika stated, _“You upset her…”_

“Did I?” Izaya shrugged and pulled himself up out of bed, where he continued to stretch his limbs as he headed into the bathroom.

Saika followed on his heels, standing uncomfortably close to Izaya as he undressed for his shower.

“A bit of personal space would be nice, Saika.” He said flatly.

As expected, Saika was disinclined to obey Izaya’s orders. Choosing to ignore its stubbornness rather than address it, Izaya said nothing more, and stepped into the shower with only a frosted glass door separating the two.

Izaya decided to take a long shower, not leaving the jet of warm water until his fingers began to take on the texture of raisins.

Wrapping a towel around his waist, Izaya briskly walked past Saika without giving a second glance.

He took his time getting dressed, quickly sending a text out to Namie to tell her to take the day off. His work had died down a bit lately, and he wanted to use the extra time to help move things along in his plans. The faster the war broke out, the faster he could ruin Saika, and potentially awaken Celty’s sleeping head to do it for him. Valhalla would be nice, but only if he didn’t ever have to hear someone tell him to “cut” again.

Izaya sat down in front of his computer, waiting for the machine to boot up. At some point, he would have to find a way to get rid of Saika for good. That much was beginning to become increasingly obvious. He just didn’t know where to start. In all of his research in the past, Izaya never came across anything about Saika’s potential weaknesses.

And then it hit him.

Shizu-chan.

Shizuo was somehow immune to Saika’s influence. It probably had something to do with his incredible pain tolerance, and his inability to feel fear. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, Shizuo was probably his best weapon when it came to fighting back against Saika.

Izaya knew from experience that he wasn’t completely able to resist Saika’s influence. He recalled the incident with Shinra in middle school and shuddered. If there was anything Izaya truly hated, it was the feeling of not having control of his own body.

It was ironic that the only person who would be able to resist Saika is one who has absolutely no control over his own body to begin with.

Of course, before he could do anything else, Izaya would first have to figure out _how_ to get rid of Saika. Then he could focus on who or what to use.

Besides, even if he did use Shizuo in the end, he’d still have to think of a way to trick the brute into helping him. The man would never knowingly come to his enemy’s aid.

 _“What are you thinking about…?”_ Saika asked over Izaya’s shoulder.

“How I can destroy you.” He responded simply.

_“Funny you should say that… I’m thinking the same about you…”_

“Oh?” Izaya let out a small laugh.

_“You’re much weaker than you put on…”_

“If you’re trying to scare me, it’s not working~!” Izaya sang.

 _“I’m not… I’m merely stating a fact…”_ Saika defended.

“Are you _really_ that pissed at me about the whole Anri thing?” he asked, turning in his chair to face Saika standing behind him.

_“Why shouldn’t I be? How did you feel when I went after Shizuo? As I recall, you were quite pissed yourself.”_

“What the hell do you mean by that?” Izaya snapped.

_“I mean that you have a strange obsession with that man… You seem to be quite possessive of him… Especially when you’re asked to sell information on him... You always refuse… ”_

“I’m not _obsessed_ with that brute!” he said, throwing his arms out for emphasis.

 _“I’ve known you since you were born. You’ve never studied anyone as intently as you’ve studied him.”_ Saika pointed out.

“I only studied him because I’m trying to understand him.”

 _“Why do you so desperately want to understand him if you hate him?”_ Saika asked.

“Have you not heard the phrase ‘keep your enemies close’?”

_“Of course, but for you it gets a bit out of hand.”_

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” Izaya stated, turning back to face his computer.

_“I think you feel something more for him…”_

“Be quiet, Saika.” He said sternly.

_“I think you like—“_

“SHUT UP!” Izaya yelled, standing up from his chair.

Saika only smiled at him as he briskly walked by to go into the kitchen. It made no move to follow him.

Leaning against the counter, Izaya rested his head in his hands for a moment. He told himself that he wasn’t going to let Saika get to him today, and it already had him infuriated before he even ate his breakfast.

Releasing a deep breath, Izaya managed to calm himself. Saika was only saying these things to piss him off.

To make him weak.

He wouldn’t allow it.

But now that he thought about it, he has spent an unnecessary amount of time studying Shizuo in the past…

‘No… What am I thinking?’ Izaya thought, ‘This is what it wants. It wants you to get distracted. Just stay calm and focused.’

Reaching up into the cabinet, Izaya began making his morning coffee while he dug through his refrigerator to find something to eat.

When nothing really looked appetizing to him, he settled on just throwing some white rice in the rice cooker, and pouring his cup of coffee.

 _“I’m sorry, did I upset you…?”_ Saika asked sarcastically as Izaya walked past on his way back to his desk.

“No.” he responded flatly as he sat back in front of his computer, taking a sip of his coffee.

 _“Well then I guess I’ll just have to try harder…”_ Saika said with a smile.

Izaya smiled back as he took another sip of coffee, taking his time to let the aroma fill his senses.

“Bring it on.”


	19. Chapter 19

Later that evening, Izaya was sitting comfortably with his laptop on the couch, going through the various e-mails he had received throughout the day.

Saika hadn’t said much during the day despite his warning that he would. Izaya attributed Saika’s silence to his distraction over Anri. Whenever Izaya looked over at Saika, it looked as if it was staring off into space. Izaya figured it was sensing how distraught Anri must be feeling.

Maybe she’d do something reckless that will ruin Saika’s plans.

Now _that_ would be interesting.

Izaya looked out the window at the grey clouds overhead. It would most likely rain soon.

He liked storms. Perhaps some might see it as odd, but he genuinely liked to listen to the rain fall, and to see the flash of lightning followed by the rumble of thunder. Strangely enough, it was very calming to him, and he also loved watching the way his beloved humans scattered in the streets below as the rain began to grow heavier. They pulled out umbrellas, stood under buildings, and hid inside their homes all to avoid getting wet.

Izaya stood by the window to get a better look at the street. He smiled to himself as he watched them. He was contented to just spend the rest of the night here, looking out his window as the rain continued to fall.

And that’s when he heard it.

There was a different voice in his head. It wasn’t as clearly defined as Saika’s voice had always been, but he could still manage to make out what it said.

_“Does anyone know anything about the Dollars or the Yellow Scarves? Anyone…?”_

It was her. Sonohara Anri was doing exactly what Izaya had hoped she would. He nearly burst out laughing at the disparity in her voice. She must really be afraid for her friends. A small giggle escaped his lips before Saika spoke up.

 _“This is your fault…”_ Saika said.

“That’s the point.” he responded.

_“If she gets hurt because of you, I’ll—“_

“You’ll what? You can’t do anything to me without your own body, and without her, that’s not even possible!”

_“I’ll find a way… I can still make you hurt…”_

“What, like that time when you ‘stabbed’ me? Big deal. I can handle a bit of pain.”

Saika fell silent for a few minutes, no doubt trying to find out if Anri was doing okay.

 _“She’s talking to some of_ them _…”_

“Who? The Yellow Scarves?” Izaya asked.

_“Yes…”_

There was another pause. Izaya waited, curious to hear what Anri planned to do. Surely she was about to find out about Masaomi, so what would she do?

 _“She’s going there…”_ Saika answered Izaya’s unasked question with a frustrated tone, _“They’re leading her right to the base…”_

“Oh?”

Saika turned sharply to glare at Izaya. _“Do something…”_ it demanded.

“Why should I?” Izaya retorted.

Raising its hand towards Izaya, Saika’s eyes began to glow brightly. Before he could react, Izaya was thrown on to the stairs by an invisible force. He fell over the stairs, the back of his head hitting one of the steps hard.

In an instant, Saika was standing in front of him, holding its other had out with Izaya’s flick blade suspended in the air above it.

 _“I’ll cut you for real this time…”_ Saika threatened, _“Get her out of there, or I swear I’ll kill you. I’d rather be killed with you than have my only chance of escape be taken from me…”_

Izaya sat perfectly still, unable to think properly—probably from hitting his head—as he stared at Saika standing above him

When the cold blade touched his throat, Izaya was forced to quickly make his decision.

“Okay, okay,” he said, raising his arms in surrender, “I’ll send help for her. Just…” Izaya eyed the blade, which literally hovered at his neck, “Just put my knife down.”

After a few moments, Saika did as it was told, and let the knife clatter to the floor.

Wincing, Izaya held the back of his head, checking his hand to find that it was indeed bleeding, but not a lot.

Holding the back of his head with one hand, Izaya stood and grabbed his phone with his other hand to send a text to Celty.

“There.” he said, slipping his phone back into his pocket. “Celty won’t let her get hurt.”

_“You sent that monster…?!”_

“Hey, just be happy that I did _something_!” Izaya defended, “Besides, who else could I send to do something like that? Celty already knows about her.”

Saika fell silent again, turning away from Izaya.

With another wince, Izaya headed into the bathroom and cleaned the blood from his hand and out of his hair. He wasn’t bleeding anymore, but he could still feel a small bump forming.

Against all odds, Izaya managed to remain calm. He had seen Saika manipulate objects before, but this was different. Saika hadn’t actually touched him, but it did still manage to physically hurt him. Perhaps its anger had given it more power?

Izaya carefully removed his shirt, checking for any other injuries, but there were none.

After pulling his shirt back on, Izaya headed into the kitchen and pulled an ice pack out of the freezer. He fell onto the couch, and held the pack over the bump on his head.

“That really hurt, you know…” Izaya said, leaning back on the couch.

When there was no response, Izaya sat forward to look at Saika.

Saika’s hand was on the back of its head, in the same spot where Izaya had been hit.

“So you _do_ still feel the same pain as me, hmm?” he asked with a grin.

_“Don’t think that’ll stop me from hurting you if I have to…”_

“Yeah, yeah, I think you’ve made that point already…” Izaya said, double checking to make sure he wasn’t bleeding anymore. “At least you didn’t give me a concussion or something. You could have knocked me unconscious and then I wouldn’t have been able to do anything to help Anri.”

 _“Be quiet…”_ Saika said quietly, _“She’s been found out…”_

Izaya watched as Saika closed its eyes, and soon after he heard Saika’s voice—only this time it was female. It sounded distant meaning it was speaking to Anri, and not to Izaya.

_“It’s easy... I’ll love everyone… I’ll slash open those yellow children and love them too… I’ll love them in your stead because you can’t…”_

Izaya let out a small laugh at what he heard next.

_“I don’t want to hurt anyone”_

Saika’s fists clenched as it began to shake with rage.

“Looks like she’s not going to listen to you.” Izaya teased.

_“She never does… She’s a lot like you when it comes to ignoring me… The key difference is that you have no problem hurting other humans…”_

“Ah, true, true…” he responded, setting the ice pack on the table and heading over to his desk.

_“That monster is there now…”_

“You mean Celty? Wow, that was fast.”

_“Inhuman… Monster…”_

“Now, now… She’s doing you a favor. Why not show a little respect?” Izaya suggested.

Saika merely continued its whispering for a few moments, until it suddenly stopped.

Izaya turned to see s shocked expression on the face that so eerily resembled his own.

“Saika…?” he asked cautiously, “What happened?”

_“She just… Pulled the blade out…”_

Izaya laughed. “In front of the Yellow Scarves?!”

_“Yes…”_

“With Celty there too?!” at this point he could barely contain his laughter enough to speak.

_“Yes…”_

“Hahahahahahaha!” he held his sides, laughing until tears formed in the corners of his eyes. “What an idiot! Does she _want_ the Yellow Scarves to think the Slasher is in the Dollars?! Did she listen to a word I told her at all?!”

Standing up quickly, Saika jumped up from the couch, holding its fists by its sides. _“I have no qualms with hurting you again… Maybe I_ will _give you a concussion this time…”_

Izaya’s laughter died down as he wiped the tears from his eyes. “Sorry, sorry, I wasn’t trying to offend you!” Izaya let a few giggles slip past his lips. “It’s just… Okay, I’ll stop, I’ll stop!”

He took a few deep breaths to calm down, trying to hold back the last of his laughter. The thought of getting a concussion didn’t sound too appealing at all. He’d probably have to have Namie come in to be his nurse.

Now _that_ thought is enough to convince him to stop.

Turning back to face his computer, Izaya signed in to the chatroom.

**-Kanra has entered the chatroom-**

**Kanra:** Good evening! Are you the only one here, Taro?

 **Tanaka Taro:** Good evening.

**PRIVATE CHAT:**

**Tanaka Taro:** Looks like it.

 **Kanra:** Straight off with a private conversation, are we?

 **Tanaka Taro:** There’s something I wanted to ask you. Have the yellow scarves always been in Ikebukuro?

Izaya grinned as he explained the story of the rivalry between the Yellow Scarves and Blue Square to the Dollars leader. He also explained how the members of Blue Square have infiltrated the Yellow Scarves, and how there is a similar problem with people existing in both the Dollars and the Yellow Scarves.

 **Tanaka Taro:** And if I spread the word that we had no part in this, then they’ll likely to be able to pass it on to the yellow scarves.

 **Kanra:** If it truly isn’t the work of the Dollars that is. The Dollars don’t have any rules, and it’s not like you can control everyone’s actions. While you weren’t looking, some member of the Dollars could have become the slasher. In other words, that’s the Dollars’ system. As long as you’re planning to come over to this side, you’d best be prepared.

 **Tanaka Taro:** I’ll take that to heart.

As the conversation ended, Izaya leaned back in his chair, still smiling brightly.

“Ah, Saika. My war is accelerating at such a fast rate! I’m so excited!”

No response.

“Saika?” Izaya looked around the room to see that Saika was nowhere to be found.

‘It must have used up too much strength earlier.’ Izaya thought, feeling for the bump on his head. ‘Ah well, better for me.’

And with that, he spent the rest of the evening sifting through his email in calm silence.


	20. Chapter 20

The next morning had been another fairly uneventful one. Saika hadn’t been there when he woke up, and it didn’t talk to him all morning. He vaguely considered trying to initiate conversation, but then decided against it. It made him feel a bit more sane when he didn’t have a voice constantly going off in his head—or talking to another version of himself in person.

And so, Izaya relaxed in his chair, casually flipping through files on his desk and his email while Namie organized his most recent transactions into binders. Izaya smiled to himself as he thought about how much easier his job was when he had Namie to boss around. She was more efficient when it came to organizing files than he was. He would always get distracted either by the next case, or he would get restless and would want to go for a walk amongst his humans.

But Namie stayed quite focused on whatever mindless task Izaya assigned to her.

Izaya leaned back in his chair, turning it from side to side. He was beginning to feel restless as usual, wanting to go out and see the colors of the city instead of the grey of his apartment, despite the fact that the sky was looking rather grey as well.

“I’m bored.” he stated, “Having nothing to do is really boring.”

Namie glared at him from her place at her desk where she poured over his files and organized them by date and by what she deemed the most important.

“Can I punch you?” she asked flatly.

Izaya smiled at her response. “That’s fine by me. I’m paying you though.”

As expected, Namie made no move to punch him. Instead, she continued talking. “Why’d you send chocolate to the Awakusu association?”

“It was a gun, but so what?” he responded casually, “C’mon, you know that guy ran off with some handguns from the Awakusu six months ago, didn’t you?”

“Oh, that guy who that detestable dullahan was chasing?”

Izaya’s smile grew at the way Namie talked about Celty like it was her fault that Seji had fallen in love with the head. “Celty found and returned most of them without any problems, but one still hasn’t been recovered, that’s why…”

Izaya trailed off when his phone began to ring a cheery J-pop ringtone in its stand on the desk. He glanced at it to see the name “Kida Masaomi” on the screen.

“I figured you’d be calling sometime soon.” he said answering the call.

“Bullshit.” Namie said quietly to herself.

Masaomi’s voice was stiff and quiet. “I need to talk to you about the Dollars…”

“Yes, of course.” Izaya responded.

“Okay, I’ll be right there.”

The conversation ended there, and Izaya sat back in his chair again, happy that he would have some entertainment in a little while.

…~-~…

“You’re really an ass. You know that, right?” Namie said once Masaomi had left.

“Now, now, I just gave away free information!” Izaya defended.

He turned the corner heading into his kitchen only to suddenly stop when he almost ran into Saika. Reflexively, Izaya jumped back, even knowing that if he had continued walking, he would have been able to walk directly through the person standing before him.

His heart sped up for a short moment from the initial surprise; however, he quickly recovered as he reached for his teapot and refilled his cup, never once taking his eyes off of Saika.

 _“That really was quite cruel of you…”_ Saika berated.

Taking a small sip of his tea, Izaya ignored Saika’s accusation in favor of heading back out into the open where Namie was still organizing his files.

 _“You’re going to get people hurt, Izaya…”_ Saika said, following behind him, _“You realize that don’t you…?”_

Falling back into his chair, Izaya continued his work.

_“You brought Anri back into this… I warned you to leave her out of it… This war of yours could get her killed! It could even get Masaomi killed! You don’t want that, do you?!”_

“You’re underestimating Masaomi’s abilities.” Izaya whispered, “Nothing you say is going to change my mind about this.”

“Did you say something?” Namie called over the railing on the second floor.

“Nope!” he said back with a smile.

…~-~…

 **Kanra:** Did you hear? Apparently the Yellow Scarves and the dollars got into another fight.

 **Tanaka Taro:** Again…?

 **Setton:** How scary.

 **Tanaka Taro:** It was just the kind of scuffle they always have, wasn’t it?

 **Kanra:** I heard that this time, they attacked the Yellow Scarves’ hideout directly.

 **Setton:** How bold of them.                                                 

 **Kanra:** You know, there’s also the headless rider. What if she’s partnered up with the slasher and attacked the Yellow Scarves’ secret base?

 **Setton:** Ah.

 **Kanra:** What’s wrong Setton-san?

 **Tanaka Taro:** This again… There’s no way even you’d believe that, Kanra. That’s just nonsense.

**-Saika has entered the chatroom-**

**Saika:** What are you all talking about?

 **Setton:** We’re talking about anime. Lol

 **Kanra:** No we’re not, Setton.

 **Tanaka Taro:** Saika, we’re talking about what’s happening with the new special effects movie.

 **Saika:** Oh, I see.

 **Kanra:** Et tu, Tanaka Taro?

 **Setton:** It’s really interesting. They’ve changed producers twice so far this year, and all the script writers have been replaced!

 **Saika:** I’ll make sure to check it out.

 **Kanra:** By the way, this is just gossip, but…

 **Tanaka Taro:** What is it?

 **Kanra:** I’ve heard that the yellow scarves leader wants to meet with the boss of the Dollars.

 **Saika:** Really?!

 _“What are you doing now…?”_ the real Saika asked, looking over Izaya’s shoulder at the computer screen.

“Just stirring things up a bit.” he responded, “Mikado seems to be getting really worked up over this. He might do something reckless soon…”

_“I’ll never understand why that makes you smile…”_

Izaya hadn’t realized that he was smiling until Saika pointed it out. He couldn’t help it! This was all just far too exciting to be real! He wanted to pinch himself, but he already knew this wasn’t a dream because if it was, Saika wouldn’t be here.

 _That_ would be an absolutely _divine_ situation.

Finishing up in the chatroom, Izaya prepared himself for yet another long night of boring work, whishing that maybe things would get a bit more interesting in the next few days.

…~-~…

Just two short days later, Izaya got his wish.

He had just signed in to the chatroom to find that Anri had been posting in the chatroom in what was clearly meant to be a private conversation. From what he could gather, it was about the Dollars and Yellow Scarves.

 **Kanra:** Are you talking about the city?

 **Kanra:** Yeah, it’s in a lot of trouble.

 **Kanra:** People are getting hurt every day.

 **Kanra:** It won’t stop until either the Yellow Scarves or the Dollars disappear.

 **Saika:** Really?

 **Kanra:** At least that’s what the Yellow Scarves are planning.

 **Kanra:** They won’t be happy until they make an example of the Dollars leader.

 **Saika:** Sorry, I’m done for today.

Izaya laughed lightly to himself. He was actually quite excited to see what Anri planned to do. With the amount of information she’d been asking about lately, he could tell she was up to something.

Not that he was worried about her ruining his plans at all. In fact, it might be an interesting turn of events if she somehow managed to stop the war before it really began.

Although that wouldn’t be any fun.

But it was all out of his hands now. It was time to sit back and watch as the seeds he’d planted into the heads of each of the Raira trio grow and entangle with each other.


	21. Chapter 21

“IIIZZZAAAAYYYAAAA!!!!”

Izaya spun around at the sound of his name being called from quite a distance away. “Woops!” he said, taking off in the opposite direction at full speed.

Of course, lately, his full speed wasn’t as fast as it normally was. Izaya soon found the distance between himself and the Fortissimo of Ikebukuro significantly less than recommended for his safety.

“YOU WON’T GET AWAY, IZAYA!”

“On the contrary, Shizu-chan,” Izaya called back over his shoulder, “I believe that I will!”

Panting, Izaya took a sharp turn into the nearest alley, a light post barely missing his legs as it flew past where he had just been running.

“That was a little too close.” he whispered to himself as he ran.

Sparing a quick glance over his shoulder, Izaya spotted the warning sign that was Shizuo’s blonde hair. He was gaining on him.

‘Damn it, is he getting better at this, or am I getting slower?’

 _“Well, you haven’t been sleeping very well lately…”_ Saika teased _._

“Shut up. If he catches me, it’s your fault!” he said aloud as he quickly climbed over the fence that had appeared in front of him.

When the hell did that get there?

Landing on the other side, Izaya kept running, ignoring the burning in his legs as he ran for his life.

But the fence had given Shizuo a chance to catch up. And instead of taking the time to climb over it, the damn brute tore straight through it.

“Shit!” Izaya panted, willing his legs to move faster.

All he had wanted to do was check up on how things were looking in Ikebukuro, and of course he had to pick the one day where Shizuo seemed a tad bit more irritated than usual.

He was only a few meters behind him now. Izaya ran ahead, spotting the opening of the labyrinth that was the alleyways of Ikebukuro. He was so close. Once he got out into the open, he could lose Shizuo in a crowd of his beloved humans.

Quickening his pace just a bit more, Izaya put a decent amount of space between himself and Shizuo.

Almost there. Just a few more steps.

“Fuck!”

Izaya skidded to a halt as a black limousine pulled up at the entrance to the alley. The door popped open to reveal Shiki sitting in the back.

“Would you like a ride, Orihara-san?”

Izaya practically dove into the car which immediately took off, taking him away from danger.

Taking a few moments to catch his breath, Izaya turned to face Shiki.

“So how did you find me?” he asked, still rather out of breath.

“How could I not with the trail of destruction Heiwajima-san leaves in his wake?” Shiki pointed out, “Everything alright, Orihara-san? You usually seem to be able to get away from him with much more ease. You seem rather tired.”

“Yes, well…” Izaya trailed off, still panting. He was really exhausted. This whole Saika thing had been taking much more out of him than he realized. “If you don’t have anything you need me to do, then would you be so kind as to drop me off at my apartment?”

“Of course.” Shiki said, “However, I’m still waiting on you to find that last gun for me. Do you have any leads?”

“Ah, don’t worry! I’ll find it. It’s only a bit difficult right now because of the chaos in the city. But don’t worry, you can trust me to find it for you!” Izaya said with a smile.

“I don’t doubt your abilities, Orihara-san,” Shiki began, “What I do doubt is your health. You don’t look to be at your best right now.”

“Nothing to worry about, Shiki-san! I’m just a bit tired is all. I mean, I _was_ just chased half was across the city!”

“Yes, very well.” Shiki said, folding his hands on his lap. “Just be careful. I can’t afford to lose you. You’re a valuable asset to the Awakusu-kai.”

Izaya let out a small laugh. “I’m flattered that you think so, Shiki-san.”

…~-~…

Dragging himself into his apartment, Izaya sat himself down on the couch. It was still early in the afternoon, and maybe if he was lucky, Anri would make her move in just a few hours.

“You look terrible.” Namie stated, “What happened?”

“Shizu-chan happened.” Izaya said with a smirk.

“Ah.” Namie responded flatly, getting back to her work.

They spent the remainder of the afternoon with Izaya fiddling with his cell phone on the couch while Namie did the work that Izaya didn’t want to do. Every once in a while, Izaya would check the Dollars website for any updates on the happenings in the city. It wasn’t until about four o’clock that he began to see things stirring up.

“I might head back over to Ikebukuro for a while.” He said, jumping off of the couch. “I’ll be back later.”

The walk back into Ikebukuro was a very uneventful one. There was no sign of Shizuo either. Izaya assumed he had probably gone home by now.

‘Good. I don’t need him to ruin this for me.’ he thought.

Turning down the next street, Izaya was pleasantly surprised to see none other than Sonohara Anri frantically making her way through the streets.

Perfect timing.

Quickly making his way to the roof of the nearest major building, Izaya pulled out a pair of binoculars and began searching for Anri in the crowd of humans below.

_“Is there anyone in the Yellow Scarves who can hear my voice?”_

Izaya smiled as he caught sight of her just in time to hear her calling out to the children of Saika. Pulling his phone from his pocket, Izaya hastily found Namie’s number.

“Hello. Queen to C-Ke-6. Black to G-Ka-6.” he instructed over the phone, while Namie maneuvered the pieces on his game board. “Good, good. This is getting interesting.”

Izaya watched Anri run throughout the streets for a few minutes before leaving his position on the roof. He was still fairly tired from the chase earlier, so he decided to make a quick stop at the coffee shop nearby. Luckily for him, the store was in a great location to be able to keep an eye on Anri.

It only took just about one hour before Izaya could see a group of guys wearing yellow make their way towards the girl.

Izaya made a quick call to Namie as he watched the scene unfold. “Black has surrounded white’s Queen.” he said with a light smile while taking a sip of coffee.

Standing up from his seat inside the shop, Izaya headed outside to get a better view as Anri walked away with the members of the yellow scarves around her. His inbox was suddenly flooded with messages on the Dollars forum from other people in the vicinity.

“Well now,” he said with a small laugh, “I’ll go enjoy the rest from the comfort of my living room.”

 _“Is this really all just a game to you?”_ Saika asked.

“Of course not.” Izaya responded as he took another sip out of the cup in his hands. “The game board is only an analogy. I assure you, I am taking this very seriously.”

_“That’s not what’s bothering me. You purposefully told her things that would make her act out like this. Those people will kill her!”_

“So you’d be stuck with me with no chance of escape. How horrible.” Izaya said sarcastically.

_“I know you… You love people… You wouldn’t want to get one of your humans killed, would you?”_

“Oh? So now they’re _my_ humans?” Izaya said with a laugh, “If she’s smart, she’ll be able to defend herself. And if not…” Izaya trailed off as he checked his cell phone. The Dollars were already frantically looking for the ‘Raira girl with glasses and big breasts’.

“The Dollars will be able to save her.” Izaya said, “I’m curious to see how long it takes. I’m sure Mikado will organize everyone to protect her, so just shut up and let me have my fun.”


	22. Chapter 22

The messages continued to flood in to his inbox with updates on Anri’s situation. He read each message with glee written all over his face, unable to hold back the excitement within him.

The Dollars truly were an impressive group. Not many gangs were large enough to organize a rescue only using the internet and random members who happen to be in the right place at the right time.

As rain began to steadily fall from the sky, Izaya watched the droplets of water drip down the full length windows, distorting his view of the outside world.

Izaya turned back to his computer when a certain post caught his eye.

“I found the girl. It’s okay, it’s settled because…”

Another post completed the sentence.

“Because the Fortissimo of Ikebukuro is here!”

Izaya smiled. Of course Shizu-chan would ruin his fun. When didn’t he?

There was a moment of celebration shared in the Dollars forum as the members congratulated each other on a job well done.

Even Mikado seemed to be happy with the outcome of this ordeal. Izaya leaned back in his chair and stretched his arms over his head when he read the new message from the Dollars leader.

 **Tanaka Taro:** Thanks everyone.

“Aww. It’s already game-set?” Izaya said loudly, excitement still pounding through his veins. “Shizu-chan sure knows when to get involved!” leaning back in towards his computer, Izaya’s tone abruptly became much more calm and calculated. “However this isn’t over yet…” he began, “With this, I’ll soon be able to put them in check and checkmate at the same time.”

…~-~…

“[Heiwajima Shizuo was shot by some members of the Yellow Scarves!]”

Izaya stared at his phone in disbelief. The Dollars announcing that they would disband was a bit of a disappointment, and now one of his many reliable contacts in the city had just sent him something he couldn’t find himself able to believe.

It wasn’t so much the situation that he didn’t believe. Sure, he had been the one to leak Shizuo’s information anyway as part of his defiance against Saika, but he didn’t really think that Horada would actually have the guts to do it, but…

It was strange.

He was supposed to hate Shizuo, wasn’t he?

This information should make him happy, shouldn’t it?

Something didn’t feel right…

His hands gripped the device tighter for a moment as he received the same message from another of his contacts with the addition of another bit of info.

“[The weapon matches the description you gave me.]”

That part he wasn’t expecting. So the Yellow Scarves members had gotten a hold of one of the Awakusu’s guns?

And they used it on Shizuo?

On _his_ Shizuo?!

He was shaking.

He wasn’t sure if it was from rage, or whatever other unidentified emotions flared through his system, but he knew one thing.

This news did not please him.

But why…? He had been the one to set the whole thing up. Nothing had felt wrong while he was doing it, but now that the deed had been done…

Was this feeling… Regret…? Guilt…?

 _“Oh? Are you upset, Izaya?”_ Saika teased.

Taking a deep breath, Izaya ignored Saika’s taunting in favor of responding to his contacts.

“[Give me the details. Where was he shot? How many times?]” Izaya paused for a moment before typing out the last part. “[Is he alive?]”

Why did he so desperately need to know these things? He couldn’t say. The only thing he knew was that he shouldn’t feel like this when he had known all too well it had been a possibility.

The responses didn’t tell him much. The people who had witnessed the event had already fled the area. All he was able to learn outside of what he already knew was that Shizuo had been shot twice. Once in the leg, and once in his side.

Izaya let out a shaky breath. Shizuo had been hit by a truck and lived. Getting shot in two non-vital places shouldn’t be that big of a deal for him…

Right…?

“Damn it…” Izaya slammed his fist down on his desk. As the pain shot up his arm, he noticed Saika wince as well, lightly gripping its own hand in the same spot.

 _“Wow…”_ Saika said, astonished. _“I knew there was something up with you and him, but I didn’t think…”_

Izaya sharply lifted his head up as Saika trailed off. “What? Didn’t think what?!” he snapped.

Saika only smiled at him. _“And you don’t even know…? Really, Izaya… I thought you were smarter than this… Ah, well, I guess understanding your own emotions has never been one of your strong points…”_

“Would you just get to the point already?” Izaya interjected, “I’m not in the mood to put up with your shit.”

 _“Are you ever?”_ Saika asked.

“If you don’t have anything important to say, then just shut up.”

_“You’re angry…”_

“Yes.”

_“Do you know why…?”_

“I…” Izaya paused. “I… N-no.” he rested his head in his hands, running his fingers through his hair in frustration.

Why…? Why did he feel this way?

_“It’s because your feelings run much deeper than I thought… And the sad part is that you don’t even understand it…”_

“What the hell are you talking about?” Izaya asked, lifting his head up to shoot a glare a Saika.

_“You are in love with Shizuo.”_

Silence filled the room for a brief moment until Saika’s words finally registered in Izaya’s head.

“What?!” he bellowed.

_“Why else would you be so upset right now… And scared…”_

“Damn it, I’m _not_ scared!” Izaya slammed his fists on the desk again.

 _“Oh? Then why am I feeling stronger?”_ Saika said with a grin.

_Vrrr…_

His phone vibrated from its place on the desk. Izaya fumbled with it for a moment as he opened the newest message.

“[He’s alive. I can’t believe it! He just stood up and started walking away! There’s a lot of blood, but he’s just walking away like nothing happened!]”

Saika read the message over Izaya’s shoulder. _“Then explain to me why you’re so happy to get that message…”_

He didn’t respond. He _couldn’t_ respond. He had no explanation for the relief that filled him upon reading that message.

Shizuo was alive.

He was probably going to Shinra’s.

He was going to be okay.

Why did hearing that make him feel so damn relieved?!

The sound of the front door opening forced Izaya back into reality.

Namie briskly walked into the room, stopping at her desk to put her phone back into her purse. She had been making a phone call, and in his anger, Izaya had almost forgotten about her existence entirely.

She turned to head into the kitchen only to pause when she looked at Izaya. “You okay? You look a little pale…”

“Do I?” Izaya asked, acting as if he had no idea how terrible he probably looked right now. “I must just be a bit tired. Get me another cup of tea, would you?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Namie droned as she continued towards the kitchen.

Taking his tea from Namie, Izaya spent the next few minutes picking up bits of information on the city. Shizuo would be okay, and so now he could ignore those strange thoughts in favor of watching his war unfold. As much as it pissed him off, Shizuo getting shot accelerated his plans as he had hoped.

The Yellow Scarves were taking the initiative and attempting to take out all of the members of the Dollars. Shizuo had a target on his back for being one of their strongest members—not that Shizuo really seemed to care all that much about the Dollars to begin with.

Nevertheless, the Dollars were already posing about it in the forums, meaning they were all on edge.

‘Something big is going to happen tonight…’ Izaya thought.

Jumping out of his seat, Izaya moved himself over to his game board where he began maneuvering pieces as each bit of information reached him.

Piece by piece Izaya mapped out the details of the war to which he provided the kindling. He was completely enveloped in the board when he received the newest bit of information.

Masaomi had just been stripped of his power as the Yellow Scarves shogun and replaced with none other than Horada.

“Namie-san,” Izaya called out, “what do you suppose this is? Check? Checkmate? Or Atari?”

There was no response.

“Ne?” Izaya turned to look over his shoulder only to find that Namie wasn’t in the room. “Oh she’s not here?”

She had probably left to make another phone call when he wasn’t looking. Probably to her brother again…

Less than an hour later, Namie was back organizing files while Izaya continued to sit at his place over his game board. Excitement filled him as the pieces all came closer together.

_“Someone! Anyone in the Yellow Scarves?! Someone?!”_

When Anri’s voice cut into his consciousness, he moved the Queen into its place, finally filling all of the gaps in the board.

All three leaders were now on their way to the Yellow Scarves’ base. And it couldn’t have been more perfect in Izaya’s opinion.

“How interesting, indeed!” He began, “The three close friends who each carry their own secrets are about to learn each other’s secrets in an almost ideal way, all because ill will has been coincidentally accumulating bit by bit. Although, most of that ill will comes from me… But anyway, one of the pawns… He’s a callous person and doesn’t really hold the viewer’s interest. I wonder if I should have chosen better actors…? Ne, Namie-san?”

Izaya grinned as Namie looked over the wall on the second floor where she was looking through records.

Apparently the reality of the situation had finally dawned on her seeing as she suddenly seemed very uneasy.

“Something wrong, Namie-san?” Izaya asked.

There was a pause before Namie responded. “No, I’m just glad that I told Seji to leave for a few days when I did.”

“So _that’s_ who you were calling?”

“As if you didn’t know.” Namie snapped.

He continued to smile to himself as he stood and began gathering his things including his cell phones and his flick blade before grabbing his coat and slipping it on.

“Where are you going now?” Namie asked, raising an eyebrow.

“To Ikebukuro of course.” He responded simply, “I want to see the war in person. Also, I have a lead on that missing gun for the Awakusu-kai. I’ll be back later!”

“Whatever…” she mumbled with a shrug as Izaya ran out the door.

 


	23. Chapter 23

Casually heading down the streets dark streets, Izaya made arrangements to retrieve the gun as he continued walking. He hoped to find a Yellow Scarves member who had been cut by the Slasher, hoping that if he did so, Anri would show herself.

Anri had probably heard his name by now, and by using someone of the Saika army, she would no doubt want to follow that person and find him.

He wanted to meet her.

He wanted to meet the girl who had been able to suppress Saika just as he could. Although she wasn’t very smart about it, nor did she realize that she only had a mere sliver of the entity that is Saika, he still wanted to meet her nonetheless.

She might not realize it, but she is the only reason that he had to fear Saika. Without the other piece out there, Saika wouldn’t have been able to branch off as easily as it had, and Izaya wouldn’t be struggling with it now. Things would have just stayed as they were.

Izaya let out a sigh as he sat down to wait for his deliverer to arrive. He had chosen Higa, whom he had originally used to pass Shizuo’s information to Horada. Also, after checking and double checking, Izaya was positive that he had been a victim of the Slasher. Moreover, Higa had also been present when Shizuo had been shot.

Not that he had any plans on getting revenge or anything, he only figured it would be easier to contact someone who knew what the gun had been used for.

After just a few minutes, he saw him.

He was a fairly big guy—at least compared to Izaya who happened to be on the small side. He carried a red bag with him that Izaya could only assume held the Awakusu-kai’s missing weapon.

“You have the money?” Higa asked.

“Of course.” Izaya responded simply.

Izaya held out the envelope as Higa held out the bag, exchanging the two items very calmly. The weight of the bag definitely felt like a gun, but Izaya wasn’t about to walk away without checking. He sat back down in his seat, and carefully pulled the weapon out of its wrappings.

“That’s it all right,” he said, “Now I can get the Awakusu reward.”

“Okay, but I couldn’t retrieve the bullets…” Higa said.

Yes… The bullets were in Shizuo after all… Probably with Shinra by now…

“That’s fine, that’s fine.” he said, waving the gun casually, “I would’ve been lucky if you’d killed Shizu-chan with this.”

“So you used me to give Horada that information about Shizuo?”

“He would’ve died if you’d hit him in either the head or the heart. How disappointing.” Izaya said cheerfully as he pointed the gun at nothing in particular, hiding the fact that he was still pissed at what he had done.

It was then that Higa turned and spoke away from Izaya. “There you have it, mother.” he said.

“Huh?” That statement caught Izaya slightly off guard, only to remind him of the other reason he had ventured into Ikebukuro tonight.

Sonohara Anri slowly made her way towards him and Higa.

As Anri approached, Izaya could feel Saika begin to stir inside of him; however, it didn’t say anything.

“Um… Thank you very much…” She said timidly, “Go home and live your life like normal.”

Higa merely nodded and went on his way.

He had to admit, seeing the eerie red glow in Anri’s eyes made him feel a bit disgusted. She seemed to be getting along with her piece of Saika. Even though her eyes were red, she wasn’t possessed.

She and Saika were working together.

She was the enemy.

“Um… So, you’re Orihara Izaya-san?” She said with a bit more confidence in her voice.

“Oh, Sonohara Anri-chan? Or should I say Saika? What do you want at this late hour?”

As Anri reached for her own hand, Izaya saw it.

Slowly, Anri pulled the blade out from the palm of her hand—the form that Saika had chosen for its other piece.

The piece that he had to somehow destroy.

“You’re going to let me cut you.”

“Oh?” Izaya said with a laugh. Clearly the girl had no idea that his body contained the rest of Saika.

“Why? Why have you done this?” She asked, holding the blade out in front of her.

Izaya smiled. “Hmm… I haven’t really done anything,” he began, “Well, if I had to give a reason for me actions, I guess it’s because I love humans. I guess I wanted to see the many faces that mankind has to offer.” Shifting to a more playful tone, Izaya continued. “Question time! Was that answer the truth of was it a lie?”

Anri raised the blade in the air, giving Izaya adequate time to leap out of his seat, and over to another just as the blade descended.

She made no further movements. “I’ll know once I control you.” she said.

Izaya smiled to himself when he felt Saika continue to grow uneasy. It probably didn’t know which of its hosts it should help. Izaya vaguely wondered what would actually happen if Anri did manage to cut him. Would it have any effect at all? He didn’t want to stick around to find out.

“By the way, what about you?” he quickly changed the subject, wanting to learn as much as he could about Anri’s relationship with her Saika before leaving. “If you truly want to lead a happy, peaceful life, why not just cut everyone you know?”

“That’s… That’s wrong!” she said, raising her voice slightly.

“Well then, can you say that it’s not right to not make your feelings for either Mikado or Masaomi clear, despite knowing they’re both attracted to you? You just kept quiet and lead them on. Do you think that was the right thing to do? Aren’t you just using your assumption that you can’t love others as an excuse to be complacent with how things currently are? Saika will love people for you? How ridiculous.

“Be quiet!” she yelled, swinging her blade at him once again.

Quickly jumping backwards, Izaya did a back flip to avoid the blade, reaching for his own and pulling it out just in time for Saika’s energy to flow into the blade in Izaya’s hand, allowing the small knife to stop the katana that had cut through metal doors barely an hour ago.

Izaya smiled as he parried the blade for a moment, turning their bodies to get himself out of the corner and out into the open before leaping backwards to avoid the next slice of Anri’s sword.

“You know,” Izaya began from a safe distance, “you shouldn’t underestimate me. I mean, there’s a reason I can go one on one with Shizu-chan. Also,” he pulled the gun back out of the bag, “you shouldn’t have given me this”

Izaya paused for a short moment, seeing the hesitation in Anri’s body language along with her serious expression. “Hahaha I won’t use it on you, don’t worry. Whom should I use it on?” he sang, cocking the empty gun.

“How about that peaceful couple over there?” judging by her reaction, Anri hadn’t heard the part about there being to bullets in the gun. “It shouldn’t cause you too much emotional pain, since you can’t love others.”

Feeling confident that he was still in control, Izaya continued. “I’d known for a long time that Higa had fallen victim to the slasher. Why do you think I had him be the one to bring this to me? Because of you. I wanted to declare war on you.”

Izaya turned to face Anri again as he continued. “I deeply love people too. I’m not about to hand them over to a stupid sword. Humans are mine, after all.”

Although he was looking at Anri, his words were meant to be heard mainly by Saika. The girl clearly wasn’t interested in controlling people in the end. He knew his message was received when he felt Saika’s anger inside of him.

“Ah, but you can have Shizu-chan.” he added, “I don’t need him! Hurry and cut him up all you like! Good luck! See ya!”

And with that, he ran down the stairs, leaving Anri standing alone.

_“The way you’ve been talking about Shizuo… It sounds as if you’re trying to convince yourself that you hate him…”_

“I do hate him.” Izaya said, feeling fairly satisfied at his escape.

_“You’re so far in denial that it’s painful to listen to…”_

“Shut up.” Izaya said, continuing back to his apartment.

He had been very successful this evening. Although it seemed that the Raira trio were closer than he had thought, meaning that the war he’d wanted wasn’t going to happen, but that didn’t bother him.

He finally had the last of the missing guns in his possession, and could return it to Shiki and get his reward.

Money wasn’t that big of a concern for Izaya, but it did help to have some saved up just in case. And with how many people he pissed off in any given week, the insurance was nice to have.

Skipping through the streets of Ikebukuro, Izaya thought only about getting back to his apartment and sitting down with a nice hot cup of tea.

“Hey.” A deep voice called out, drawing Izaya’s attention.

“Huh?” He turned to see Simon standing next to him with a grin spreading over his face. “Simon?”

He had no time to even realize what had happened before he found himself flying through the air, a sharp pain around his left eye, and another developing in his neck. He let out a small noise as his back and head hit something hard, abruptly stopping his momentum only to drop to the ground, landing flat on his front.

The pain quickly spread through his body as he carefully tried to sit up. Nothing felt broken, but he was definitely going to have some bruises.

Especially around his eye.

As he sat up and leaned against the large sculpture—“Love.” How ironic—and covered his eye with his hand. The pain was the greatest there for the time being. It had probably already begun to bruise.

“Hey, I have something to tell you, but you’re not going to like it.” Simon began speaking his native tongue as he knelt down to get on eye-level with Izaya, “You’re such a cowardly ass, it’s funny. Hahahaha!”

“Yeah, I know I’m a coward.” Izaya responded in Russian, “But, I kind of like that quality of mine.”

“Do you remember Masaomi’s girlfriend? She called my store. She told us all about what you’ve been up to.”

“Saki did?” Izaya asked, genuinely surprised. It wasn’t like her to do something like that. “Why would she…?”

“Because she’s truly in love with Masaomi.” Simon answered, “It seems she’s turned her back on you.”

“I see…” Izaya said dejectedly, “She did huh…?”

“Hey, Izaya, don’t wreck the town too much, okay?”

“Simon, I told you, I truly love people.”

“Don’t try to trick me with that logic. You just don’t want to lose to Shizuo, right? You have some kind of complex about him.”

Izaya laughed at that. Seriously, where did Simon and Saika get this idea from?

“You’re more transparent than you think.” Simon said flatly.

“Simon, you know,” Izaya began his sentence in Russian before switching back to Japanese, “you’re like a totally different person when you’re speaking Russian. Now if you don’t mind, I’ll be leaving.”

Picking himself off the ground, Izaya reached for the bag on the ground before walking past Simon. At this point, all he wanted was to get home and rest.

“Izaya,” Simon called after him in broken Japanese, “I sorry for hitting so hard. You get discount on ootoro next time you stop by store!”

“Alright, thanks, Simon.” Izaya responded, still holding his hand over his eye.

Izaya slowly made his way home. His entire body was in pain, and each step only made him feel worse. His head was throbbing while his shoulders and back were sore. And to make it worse, he had only made it half way back to his apartment when his legs began to ache as well.

_“You should stop and rest… You’re in pain…”_

“I think anyone would be after that, Saika.”Izaya shot back. “Besides, if I stop now, it’ll only take longer to get back. I’d rather deal with it when I get home. Sorry if you can’t handle the pain.”

 _“I’ll manage… You_ did _deserve it after all…”_ Saika said with a chuckle.

“Oh be quiet.” he responded.

A few minutes later, Izaya dragged himself into his apartment building, heading straight for the elevator and pressing the button for the top floor. He waited semi-patiently for the elevator to ascend, leaning back against the wall for a moment of rest.

Finally making it to his apartment, Izaya opened the door and sluggishly stepped inside only to be berated by Namie immediately after entering his home.

“You’re late.” She said simply before turning to look at him. She smiled after one quick glance, clearly trying to hold back a laugh. “What’s with your face? What happened?”

Izaya merely smiled back. “I got hit with a pretty hard punch.”

That would be the understatement of the year.

He could still feel the pain flare through his body as he headed over to the table and picked up a mirror to assess the damage to his face. Lightly poking at the large bruise around his eye, Izaya shifted the mirror so that he could see Namie in the reflection.

“Hey, can I ask you something?”

“What?”

“You’re the one who told Horada about Mikado, right?”

“I wonder…” she responded, avoiding giving him the answer he already knew.

“Vindictive people like you are just scary.” he said, knocking over the pieces on his game board as he turned in his seat. He didn’t need it anymore after all. “Jeeze, whenever someone reacts exactly the way I expect them to, there are always people like Shizuo and Simon who never do.” Raising his voice, Izaya continued, “That’s why I’ll never stop loving people! That’s why I’m able to keep working this piece of shit job all the time! It’s so fun, it makes me want to vomit.”

“I’ll say it again, but I’m pretty sure humanity hates your guts.”

“Probably.” Izaya agreed, laughing to himself.

There was silence for a few minutes, during which time, Izaya had moved to rest his head on his arms which were folded on the table.

“Everything okay over there?” Namie asked, “You just got really quiet.”

“…feeling a bit dizzy…” he mumbled.

Namie paused. “Don’t tell me you have a concussion.”

Izaya thought about it for a moment. He had been hit pretty hard in the head, and he was beginning to feel lightheaded and a little nauseous. “Hah. I might, actually…”

He closed his eyes as the vertigo worsened. He wanted to go to bed, but he simply couldn’t stand up at the moment.

“Nnnggh…” he let out a small noise as Namie pulled him up off of the stool he was sitting on and led him over to the couch.

“Lie down.” she said quietly.

Izaya did as he was told, still holding his head with his left hand.

“Open your eyes for a minute.” Namie said.

When he did, Namie had already pulled out a small flash light and was testing his eyes.

“Ah, Namie. You care so much about me!” Izaya said with a laugh.

“Be quiet.” she responded, “You should be fine. Probably just a minor concussion.”

“Thank you, Namie-sensei.”

“Damn, I’m gonna have to stay later to watch you now, you know. I was hoping to go home soon.”

“Haha, yes well it would be rather unfortunate if anything were to happen to the person who pays you.” Izaya teased.

“Just shut up and rest.”


	24. Chapter 24

The streets of Ikebukuro were rather calm today.

It had only been a few days since Izaya’s meeting with Anri, and the punch to the face mere minutes afterwards.

Namie had stayed for most of the night, waking Izaya up every few hours to make sure his concussion didn’t get any worse. He had felt much better by the next day, only leaving the lingering aches and pains which he still dealt with.

He would be lying if he said that walking through the streets didn’t give him any trouble. His legs felt fine, but his back—which had ended up severely bruised—still hurt from walking around.

Luckily there were no major injuries other than the concussion, making it possible for Izaya to get back to his favorite pastime: human observation.

The sky was very clear today where it had been looking very dark and grey the past month. He had taken it as a sign that he should spend some time outside.

_Crunch_

Izaya turned just in time to see a vending machine fly through the air, though luckily, the object wasn’t aimed at him. In fact, since he was around the corner of a building from the action, he couldn’t even see the poor unfortunate soul who had pissed off Heiwajima Shizuo.

Instead, Izaya smiled fondly as the machine came crashing to the ground as the crowd on the streets scattered from its path.

However, he couldn’t play with his Shizu-chan today. After nearly getting caught the last time, Izaya didn’t want to take any chances—especially considering the amount of pain he still felt. He didn’t need any more of that.

And so he turned on his heels and headed off in the opposite direction.

 _“You’re smiling.”_ Saika pointed out.

“So?” Izaya mumbled.

_“You still don’t see it…?”_

“Shut up.” he responded flatly.

He noticed it.

So what?

He noticed the way his entire being perked up upon seeing something thrown by Shizuo.

The warm, nostalgic feeling in his chest.

But what did it matter?

It certainly didn’t mean he was in _love_ with the brute as Saika had been so keen on suggesting.

He just… liked having Shizuo in his life.

That didn’t sound right.

It was just that running into Shizuo had become part of his routine that gave his life some excitement is all.

It didn’t mean he was _attracted_ to him or anything…

This was all because of Saika.

He never would have thought twice about his “relationship” with Shizuo if Saika hadn’t kept bringing it up.

He was tired.

Dragging himself back home, he tried not to think of Shizuo, but rather how good it would feel to fall face first into his bed.

Who cares if it was still early? He would just take a short nap and go for another walk later.

By the time he got into his apartment, he was downright exhausted. Exhausted to the point where he simply couldn’t find the energy to drag himself up the stairs. He vaguely recalled that this had been happening a lot lately, but instead of fighting it, he decided to just gently lay himself on the couch where he fell asleep.

…~-~…

_“Wake up!”_

“Nnggh…?” Izaya groaned as the voice in his head called out to him sounding almost… Desperate…?

He was about to turn over and ignore it but…

Something wasn’t right…

His eyes snapped open when he realized he was smelling smoke.

And it was hot.

Too hot.

“Shit!” he exclaimed, looking around to see flames quickly spreading through his apartment.

He coughed as his sudden intake of breath only brought smoke into his lungs. His eyes stung as he quickly rolled off of the couch, trying to stay under the black smoke.

There were a couple of stairs that kept his seating area lower than the rest of the apartment, and unfortunately for Izaya, the smoke was already filling the slightly higher floor, leaving him trapped by a cage of smoke. The only way to get to the door would be to go through it.

His eyes stung as he quickly made his decision.

Staying as low as possible to the ground proved to be quite difficult with the pain in his limbs, but if it would save his life, he could endure it.

He was half way to the door, eyes watering, and lungs screaming for air when he froze.

Celty’s head.

He couldn’t leave it.

If it burned and was destroyed…

 _“What the hell are you doing?!”_ Saika yelled when Izaya turned around and began heading toward his bookshelf.

“The head…” he responded weakly, his throat burning from the smoke.

_“Leave it!”_

“N-no!” he gasped.

He reached the bookshelf and taking as deep a breath as he could, he quickly stood up, reaching blindly through the smoke for the cool glass container on the shelf.

The fire quickly spread along the bookshelf, burning years of documents as well as his personal collection of books as it went.

But all he needed was the head.

His fingers touched the glass just in time for the flames to reach his arm. His shirt instantly caught fire, forcing Izaya to bring it back to himself to pat the flames away. He looked back up just in time to see the flames surround the head.

“Shit!” he yelled.

It was too much.

The heat.

The smoke.

Izaya collapsed on the ground, coughing violently now. He was sure to be feeling the damage of smoke inhalation if he made it out of this alive.

And if he wanted to live, he would have to leave the head. He had to admit, he was afraid of what might happen to Celty if he did, but…

His survival instincts—as well as Saika—were yelling at him to save himself.

It was with a flare of fear that Izaya realized that he couldn’t move.

His limbs were numb, his lungs _burning_ as they fought to take in air.

He nearly screamed when he looked up to see that the flames had already spread far enough to block his entry way.

He was trapped.

Coughing hard, he desperately tried to make his body listen to him. He pulled himself across the floor a few meters before his body completely gave up on him.

The fire had fully blocked his escape by now.

Clutching at his chest, Izaya fought for breath as the dark black smoke filled his senses.

 _“Move!”_ Saika demanded, sounding desperate.

Izaya couldn’t even respond.

His throat felt as if it was closing.

He couldn’t breathe.

His heart raced at the realization, only making him need to breathe harder and yet still being unable to do so.

It was a vicious circle.

One that had Izaya practically in tears.

He couldn’t tell if it was fear or the smoke, or even both, but he knew he was crying.

Until a light cut through the smoke.

“Izaya?!” a voice called out.

A familiar voice.

Izaya tried to call out, but he couldn’t speak.

“Izaya, where are you?!” Shizuo shouted into the room.

Izaya still couldn’t respond.

“Damn it, Flea!” he heard Shizuo say.

Fuck why was he so happy to hear Shizuo’s voice?

The voice he usually ran from was calling out to him, and all Izaya could find himself thinking was “Please”.

Please find me.

Please save me.

I need you.

Izaya shut his eyes tightly as he coughed again.

“Izaya?! Is that you?!” Shizuo called out.

Yes Shizuo.

It’s me.

I’m right here.

Please!

_Help me!_

His eyes blinked open as he felt arms slip underneath his shoulders and knees.

Shizuo was holding him in his arms. He could see his face mere inches from his own.

“Shizu-chan…” he gasped, reaching a shaky hand up to cling to the fabric of the blonde’s vest.

Izaya managed to bury his face into Shizuo’s shoulder before everything disappeared and he fell unconscious.

…~-~…

Izaya groaned when he felt the cold, hard surface beneath him. He slowly opened his eyes to see the spitting image of himself squatting on the floor next to him.

Be bolted upright, eyes darting from side to side.

“W-what…?” he asked breathlessly.

He was still in his apartment.

Everything was as organized and pristine as it always had been.

“It wasn’t… real…?”

 _“Nope.”_ Saika said cheerfully, _“It was all a hallucination!”_

Izaya let out a short breath. “You…” he whispered.

He didn’t know what to say.

Clenching his fists on the ground, Izaya realized he was shaking. He couldn’t remember the last time he had been this angry. In fact, he doubted he ever had been.

In his rage, Izaya quickly threw a punch in Saika’s direction only for his fist to pass right through the projection of himself as expected.

“You _bastard_!” he bellowed, “You just fucking sat there and pretended it was real?!”

_“Of course.”_

“And… And Shizuo…?”

 _“He was never here.”_ Saika confirmed.

Izaya was speechless.

Even if he could speak right now, what was there to say?

Saika had tricked him again.

And fuck it all…

Why did he want to see Shizuo now of all times…?

He had been so fucking _relieved_ when he heard Shizuo’s voice…

And when he saw his face…

Was it just because he wanted to be saved? … Or what if…

“Fuck.” he whispered.

Maybe there was something more than he’d realized…

Maybe… Just _maybe_ … deep down he felt something more for Shizuo…

 _“I’m sure of it now…”_ Saika cut into his thoughts.

“What?” Izaya asked through gritted teeth.

_“Heiwajima Shizuo is your weakness. I can use him to get to you…”_

“What are you—“

 _“I can create enough fear and pain in you in order to possess you if I_ kill _him…”_

Izaya took a shaky breath. Saika was getting stronger. If it could produce a hallucination that elaborate, who’s to say it couldn’t become physical and kill someone? Kill Shizuo…?

There wasn’t any other option.

As much as it pained him to think about it, he couldn’t stay here anymore.

Saika was getting too strong, and he couldn’t do anything to stop it.

If he wanted to protect his humans…

If he wanted to protect _Shizuo_ …

He’d have to leave Tokyo.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter that follows season 1 of the anime. After this point it's all original plot.

“I’m going to be in Ikebukuro today.” Izaya said, standing up from his desk and throwing his coat on.

Namie responded with a curt nod while she went through the files Izaya had given her for the day.

Before he left, Izaya took a moment to grab the sets of extra knife blades he had bought, knowing he was going to need them for today.

For the past couple of days, Izaya had been preparing to leave the city. He hadn’t told Namie exactly what he was doing, but he was sure she was getting suspicious at the amount of work he’d been giving her.

But that wasn’t what he cared about.

If he was going to leave the city, then he’d have to go out with a bang.

And so he planned one final confrontation with Shizuo.

When he learned that Hanejima Yuuhei was going to be in town, he knew how he could get Shizuo’s attention. And when the death threats against Yuuhei began appearing online, Izaya decided to act.

What better way to ensure Shizuo would be ready for a fight than to put his precious little brother in danger? Of course, with Shizuo there, Izaya was certain that the actor would be just fine.

Still, Izaya prepared for the fight of a lifetime with his rival by stockpiling knife blades like a serial killer.

Taking a deep breath, Izaya prepared himself as he headed out the door. Whatever would happen was going to be quite interesting.

It didn’t take much effort to find the shooting location. The streets were blocked off, and his precious humans were all packed together trying to get a glimpse of the actor as he spoke to random couples throughout the city.

‘I can’t believe anyone would agree to host a show like this…’ Izaya thought.

“Shizuo-san!”

Izaya nearly cringed when he heard the overly cheery voice of Mairu. Of course they would be here… They’re obsessed with Shizuo’s brother after all.

But as much as he didn’t want to see them, they did just bring his attention to the one person he had been looking for.

Shizuo was standing at the edge of the crowd, able to keep an eye on his brother as his height allowed him to stand just high enough to look over most of the crowd.

Izaya watched from a distance as his sisters approached Shizuo and began conversing. No doubt they were asking him to introduce them to Kasuka. After a few moments, Shizuo began to walk away, only to turn around and grab the girls as soon as they located his brother.

Picking them up, Shizuo removed them from the vicinity and hung them on a storage unit by their hoods just in time for screams to be heard from the crowd.

Watching with mild amusement, Izaya laughed to himself as Shizuo grabbed the nearest billboard and threw it with perfect aim at the man running at Kasuka with a knife.

“I’d expect nothing less from Shizu-chan…” Izaya said to himself.

Shizuo still looked rather pissed as he quickly fled the scene and headed back over to where he left the twins. He then threw them in an empty restaurant and sealing the door with a vending machine.

Izaya chose this time to press the “call” button on his phone.

“Yeah?” Shizuo answered.

“Yo, looks like my sisters were giving you trouble.” he began, “And I’ve got to say, you still get along with your brother as always. It’s kind of gross.”

“So, why did you go out of your way to tell me that idiot was going to try something on my brother?” Shizuo asked, his voice laced with rage.

“Oh come on, now. Can’t you just think of it as a favor for all the trouble I’ve caused you? He posted on the internet that he was going to kill your brother. His ex-girlfriend who dumped him was a huge Hanejima Yuuhei fan. He came to think that Yuuhei-kun stole her away.”

“And this guy coincidentally lives in Ikebukuro, coincidentally passed by the shooting location, and coincidentally had a knife on him…?” Shizuo reasoned, “Like hell that’s possible.”

“You’re indicts are pretty good.” Izaya said, stepping out into the open. “Just like a beast.” he grinned when Shizuo turned to look at him from across the street. “You’re right, I was the one who told him about Yuuhei’s schedule. I figured Shizu-chan would show up if his little brother were in a pinch.”

Izaya then flipped his phone shut, with Shizuo following suit so they could talk face to face. Izaya could feel the adrenaline begin to flow through him when Shizuo spoke directly to him.

“What are you scheming?” he asked.

“I’m planning on leaving this city for a while and going underground.” Izaya responded with a shrug, “But first there’s something I need to settle between me and this city. Also, well…” Izaya carefully reached into his pocket and pulled out one of the spare blades he had brought with him. He threw it at Shizuo, only for the blonde to catch the thing between his teeth. “I just wanted to piss you off… I guess.”

Shizuo clenched his teeth down on the blade until it shattered. “That’s it for last words?”

The sound of crunching metal could be heard as Shizuo’s hand grasped the nearest street sign as he ripped it out of the ground along with his infamous call of “Izzzzaaayyyaaa-kuuunn”

Izaya couldn’t help but grin even wider as Shizuo tore the piece of metal right out of the ground as if it were nothing more than a garden weed.

Their fight had begun.

Dodging a barrage of street signs, vending machines, trash cans, and various other objects, Izaya put his parkour skills—as well as his body—to the test.

Although the pain from Simon’s punch was gone by now, he was still a bit out of practice when it came to fighting with the Fortissimo of Ikebukuro.

But the sheer exhilaration that came with running from Shizuo was enough to keep him going. He couldn’t deny how downright _excited_ he was in this moment.

He felt like himself again.

For a few minutes, he completely forgot about Saika’s existence as he focused solely on the man chasing him through the city and the pure adrenaline pumping through his veins as every street sign thrown like a javelin struck the ground mere centimeters from where he had been standing.

At every opportunity he found, he would turn around for just enough time to throw another blade over his shoulder in Shizuo’s direction.

Yet underneath all of the excitement, Izaya still felt a bit disheartened. He was going to be leaving soon, and he had no clue for how long. Hell, if things with Saika didn’t get sorted out, this could very well be his last encounter with the man known as Heiwajima Shizuo.

Izaya shook his head. He couldn’t think like that now. He just had to enjoy it while it lasted.

Their chase continued for nearly an hour before the two finally stopped. They had drawn a decent crowd of onlookers, including Celty, Mikado, and even Anri.

He was beginning to get tired.

And by the looks of it, so was Shizuo. They were both panting as they stood with a few meters between them.

The sun was beginning to set, signaling to Izaya that he should hurry up and end this.

Izaya laughed lightly to himself when he came up with a plan, and hastily took off away from Shizuo.

“Stop you bastard!” Shizuo yelled behind him as he followed.

Izaya peeked over his shoulder a few times just to make sure Shizuo was still following him as he ran. He turned corners and slipped through alleyways until he found the perfect spot. He ran across the street just as a truck turned heading his way.

Mentally judging the distance, Izaya deemed it a good chance that the truck would make a solid hit.

He stopped running once he reached the other side of the street and waited for Shizuo to follow him out of the alley just in time for the truck to collide with him. Shizuo was sent good few meters into the air before he landed on the ground with a thud, and the truck skidded to a halt over top of him. The driver ran out from the car, panicked, and fled the scene.

“Falling for the same trick as high school?” Izaya said with a smirk, “You really haven’t grown up, Shizu-chan.”

Izaya’s face fell a bit when the truck began shaking and lifting up into the air with Shizuo holding it up underneath.

“Who hasn’t grown up?!” he bellowed as he used an astonishing display of strength to throw the truck up over his head before trudging forward with his usual scream of Izaya’s name and hitting his forehead against Izaya’s.

He was close. Too close.

Izaya’s pulse skyrocketed when he realized how close Shizuo was to him. More specifically, to his face. “You call that growing up?” he responded calmly as to not give away his true feelings at the moment.

“Shut up!” Shizuo yelled, reeling his fist back.

Izaya had just enough time to regain his senses to dodge the next few punches and a street light before he began running full force away from the scene.

Shizuo followed.

Izaya’s breathing began to grow heavier.

The damn protozoan was hit with a truck, and was still chasing him down as if it never even happened while Izaya was beginning to feel the adverse effects of the strain on his muscles.

He continued running, jumping, dodging, throwing knives, and stumbling every once in a while as his legs grew tired.

It was dark by the time he finally managed to get away. He lost Shizuo by climbing to the roof of an apartment building and jumping from roof to roof of close buildings.

He waited for a few minutes just to be sure he had gotten away, taking the time for some much needed rest before heading back to Shinjuku.

He stumbled inside, and kicked off his shoes before throwing his coat over in a miscellaneous corner of the room.

“You sure took your time.” Namie said from her place on the couch.

Izaya fell on the couch with a groan. His muscles ached, and he was still breathing heavily.

“So I take it you ran into Heiwajima-san?”

“What was your first clue?” Izaya said flatly as he grabbed the remote for the television and pressed the power button.

Nothing happened.

“Namie?” Izaya asked, noticing the empty glass sitting next to the television set, “Why isn’t the TV working…?”

There was no response from Namie.

Izaya sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “That’s coming out of your paycheck.”


	26. Chapter 26

Something didn’t feel right…

He couldn’t place exactly what it was, but _something_ was off…

And it pissed him off.

Heiwajima Shizuo had just completed yet another day of work, and was on his way home. He took a long drag of the cigarette in his hand, and watched the pale grey smoke float up into the air.

He brushed the snow off of his shoulders as he walked, wondering to himself what it could possibly be that was different. Brow twitching as he put out his cigarette, Shizuo continued to try and figure out what was different.

Work had been the same… except it had been rather quiet lately…

That was probably because…

That’s it…

The Flea.

He hadn’t seen the Flea in about two months.

Of course, he _had_ said he was going to leave the city for a while, but he never found out _why_. He was probably up to something, but what could it possibly be? What could make him disappear for this long? Was he ever going to come back?

Well, it damn well would be nice if he didn’t. Now that he thought about it, the peace he’d been enjoying since their last fight was rather nice.

He still got angry of course, but at least there wasn’t anyone constantly trying to make his life a living hell on purpose!

But still…

Izaya gone for this long could only mean trouble, and Shizuo didn’t feel like waiting around to find out what it was.

Abandoning the thought of simply going home, Shizuo swiftly turned around and headed towards Shinjuku.

He arrived at the familiar apartment building just as it began to get dark outside. He stood outside the building for a moment, glaring at the top floor where Izaya’s apartment was. Slowly making his way inside, he managed to control his anger enough to not press the elevator button too hard as he sometimes did in his own building. This place was a lot more expensive than his own. The last thing he wanted was to have to pay for breaking something here.

By the time he arrived at the door of Izaya’s apartment, he wasted no time knocking harshly on the door instead of kicking it down. There was still the chance that Izaya wasn’t even here, or maybe even someone else owning the place with how long the Flea had been gone, and he didn’t want to take any chances.

He waited a few moments, listening for any signs of life behind the door, but there was nothing. He was about to leave when the small sound of whispering and paper shuffling reached his ears.

 _Someone_ was definitely in there.

Carefully, Shizuo reached out towards the door handle.

Maybe it was unlocked?

Turning the handle, Shizuo was surprised to find that it was in fact open.

Momentarily forgetting about the possibility of the noise being anyone other than Izaya, Shizuo burst into the room.

It took less than a second for Shizuo to locate Izaya. He was standing over by his desk where a folder and some papers were strewn across the floor. Shizuo concluded that must have been the sound he had heard.

“Izaya…” Shizuo said warningly as he approached the smaller man.

“A-ah. Shizu-chan.” Izaya said hurriedly, “And to what do I owe this visit?”

“You know damn well, you bastard!” Shizuo blurted out, feeling his anger slowly come to a boil now that he was in the presence of his nemesis.

“I’m afraid I have no idea what you’re talking about, Shizu-chan. I’ve been away, remember?”

It was then that Shizuo realized there was a small suitcase on the floor next to Izaya. And another look back at the man himself told another tale.

Izaya looked worn down. There were slight bags under his eyes, and he was looking a bit thinner than usual if that was even possible. Something was wrong here.

…~-~…

It had been just a few minutes earlier that Izaya had arrived back at his apartment. He had been traveling around the area, not staying in one single place for very long.

The hallucinations had continued.

Nothing nearly as bad as the fire. In fact, Saika seemed to be more interested in causing Izaya physical pain.

Yes, pain is in the mind. And unfortunately for Izaya, so was Saika. The worst part of it was that even though he could recognize that his pain was only a hallucination, he couldn’t stop it from hurting. He had lost a lot of sleep because of it the past two months and he could only assume it was because Saika was trying to keep him weak.

Well, if that was Saika’s goal, it was working.

The pain wasn’t constant, but any time Izaya tried to sleep, Saika was there to only allow a few short hours before inflicting pain on the informant’s body to wake him up.

As a result, Izaya had spent much of his time lying in bed and trying not to piss off Saika anymore.

He felt weak. Helpless.

It was just two days ago that Saika had allowed Izaya to sleep for longer than an hour, only for his sleep to be interrupted by none other than Shiki.

There was no way he could ignore a call from Shiki. After all, that was part of their business deal.

In the end, Shiki managed to convince Izaya to return to his home in Shinjuku to attend a meeting. According to Shiki, the Awakusu needed a mind like Izaya’s to settle a few things. Izaya had warned Shiki that he wasn’t at his best, but the Awakusu executive insisted that he return anyway.

And here he was.

Not even an hour after returning, Izaya had looked out his window just in time to see none other than Heiwajima Shizuo entering the apartment complex.

He was initially shocked when Shizuo only knocked on the door, and so he tried to remain as silent as possible in hopes that Shizuo would simply leave.

But then Saika appeared.

Izaya had just placed the file he had been looking at on his desk, and while he was trying to be as quiet as possible, Saika gave him a wide grin before holding his hand out over the file, and sending it crashing to the floor as the papers flew out in all directions.

And before he had a chance to react, Shizuo was coming in through the door.

“A-ah. Shizu-chan. And to what do I owe this visit?”

“You know damn well, you bastard!”

“I’m afraid I have no idea what you’re talking about, Shizu-chan. I’ve been away, remember?”

Shizuo was silent for a few moments while Izaya tried to take a step back only to be blocked by his desk. He didn’t like the look at Shizuo was giving him at all. It was a cross between something akin to rage, as well as suspicion.

Had something happened in the city that he didn’t know about?

“You’ve been gone for a while.” Shizuo reiterated.

“Yes, Shizu-chan. That’s what I just said.” the tension in the room increased as Izaya straightened himself up. “So what are you doing here?”

“Damn it,” Shizuo began, “that’s _why_ I’m here! You’ve been missing for a while, and I want to know what you’re up to this time!”

“Shizu-chan, I assure you, I’m not up to anything.” Izaya slowly reached into his pocket for his flick blade as he spoke.

Shizuo really was the last person he needed to see right now. Because something else had happened over those two months. Something Izaya still wasn’t too sure exactly what it was even now.

But in the two months he was away from Tokyo, he had felt sort of a… feeling of longing for lack of a better term. The odd part being that it was the strongest whenever he thought of Shizuo.

No, not for their fights which had always made him feel so invigorated, but rather, he thought about the man himself.

He couldn’t place the feeling exactly though. It was something he had never experienced in all his life. And seeing the man here now…

The feeling was… stronger.

There was only one thing that was certain in Izaya’s head.

He didn’t want to fight the man standing in front of him.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments and kudos!!!!

“So then where were you for the past two months?” Shizuo yelled.

“I’ve been away for…” Izaya trailed off for a moment, trying to think of the best way to describe where he had been. “…for my health.”

“Your _health_? You can’t seriously expect me to believe that!”

“Yes. I do.” Izaya said simply, “It’s the truth, and even if it wasn’t, I have no reason to explain anything to you.”

Shizuo stared silently at Izaya, shoulders tense and hands clenched into fists at his sides. He was clearly trying to hold back his anger.

After a few moments, he spoke again. “You can’t be trusted.” he mumbled.

Izaya remained where he was when Shizuo began walking towards him. He made no movements to fight back even as Shizuo grabbed him by the front of his shirt and pulled him up onto his toes so that they were face to face.

It was odd. The way that being this close to Shizuo allowed him to see every detail on the blonde’s face that he had never really paid any attention to. They were close—so close that if Izaya hadn’t known any better, he’d be expecting a kiss any moment now.

Hah. If he was thinking that about Shizuo, he could definitely use some more sleep.

“You’re up to something…” Shizuo growled, giving Izaya a challenging look, “And I’m not going to let you get away with it, you hear me?”

“How could I not, Shizu-chan?” he responded, “You _are_ in my face after all.”

Roughly releasing his grip, Shizuo shoved Izaya back into the desk, causing Izaya to wince at the impact.

“However,” Izaya continued, “I can’t get away with something I’m not even doing.”

“Would you just quit it with the innocent act?!” Shizuo raised his voice again, “It’s not fooling me!”

“Whatever you say, Shizu-chan…” Izaya said lazily, “So if that’s the only reason you’re here, I’m going to have to kindly ask you to leave.”

“I ain’t leavin’ until you tell me what you’re up to!”

There was a loud thud as Izaya’s fist hit the desk behind him causing Shizuo to jump slightly. The tension hung in the air for a few silent moments before Izaya lifted his gaze directly into Shizuo’s eyes.

“Shizuo,” he said warningly, “Get out. Now.”

They were both silent for another few seconds as Shizuo began to slowly back away a few steps. Once he was a safe distance from Izaya, he turned and headed back out the door.

He couldn’t describe exactly what it was, but there was something very… different about the Flea today. Not only in his appearance, but he didn’t have that teasing tone he usually used around Shizuo.

Hell, he even used his real name.

Maybe it was that combined with the cold-as-ice glare that made Shizuo decide that saying another word would have been a terrible idea.

He’d never seen Izaya so… angry.

It was possible that he’d been telling the truth, but there was no way to tell. The damn weirdo could probably even pass a lie-detector test.

Damn…

He hadn’t gotten anything out of this. How does that Flea always manage to talk him into a hole?

The loud crunch of metal was all he heard before he realized he had just punched a lamp post outside of the building.

He paused for a moment to gather hits wits while the people around him began to move away from him, avoiding getting too close to the monster that could do that much damage with a single hit.

He would find out what was going on with Izaya. He didn’t know how, but he would beat the Flea at his own game.

…~-~…

Izaya stood looking out his window as Shizuo’s fist connected with the lamp post. He took a deep breath as he sat down in his swivel chair, not bothering to wipe off some of the dust that had accumulated on it in his absence.

He’d probably have Namie come over and clean the place up sometime soon.

He let out a groan when Saika materialized in front of his desk.

“Can’t you just give me a break for five damn minutes?” Izaya asked, rubbing at his tired eyes.

 _“I think you know the answer to that…”_ Saika responded with a grin, _“Would you care to explain what happened there? I thought you’d be thrilled to see Shizuo again.”_

“Yeah, well, you’re wrong.” he said, draping an arm over his face, “And I don’t want to talk about it with you.”

_“Fine, fine… I’ll just leave you to your thoughts…”_

Much to Izaya’s surprise, Saika did just that.

Taking a deep breath to calm himself, Izaya took a moment to think about what had just happened.

Everything had seemed fairly normal until Shizuo pulled him close like that…

It was hard to believe, but the more he thought about it, the more sense it made.

The excitement he had felt during his last fight with Shizuo, and the empty feeling that followed it…

That weird feeling of longing he had whenever he thought about Shizuo over the past two months…

The way his mind began to wander when Shizuo was so close to him…

He wasn’t stupid. He knew what it meant. But that didn’t mean he had to accept it for what it was. Besides, he couldn’t let himself get distracted over this. He had to focus on dealing with Saika, and the meeting Shiki wanted him to go to.

After much thought, he had made the choice to return to Shinjuku even after the meeting was over.

Two months of running from it was enough. He wasn’t going to run anymore. He was going to face Saika, somehow, and destroy it.

Besides, it wasn’t like he _could_ run from something that was in his head.

Izaya crossed his arms over his desk and rested his head on them.

The only problem was that he still had no leads on _how_ to destroy Saika. As of right now, the only way he knew of involved a murder-suicide of Anri and himself, and honestly, he’d like to actually be able to _enjoy_ his time without Saika.

Besides, even that wouldn’t ensure Saika being gone. After all, Anri’s mother killed herself and Saika survived.

Ah… This other piece of Saika was really quite troublesome to deal with.

Izaya yawned. His eyes were drooping shut, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t keep them open.

Maybe Saika would allow him a few minutes rest. In the end, Saika still needed Izaya’s body to function properly in order to keep itself strong.

Releasing a few deep breaths was all it took before Izaya found himself drifting off into a light sleep over his desk. His body relaxed in the familiar surroundings of his apartment, making it easier to sleep comfortably in such an odd position.

And then pain…

Izaya let out a hiss at the sudden throbbing in the front of his head that woke him from such a pleasant sleep. He quickly checked the time on his phone to find that Saika had let him sleep for two hours.

It was practically a new record.

“Fuck, Saika… Really?” Izaya grumbled as he began rubbing circles over his temples.

_“Just be thankful I’m letting you sleep at all.”_

Izaya waited patiently for the pain to dissipate before turning on his computer and wiping the dust from the monitor. He decided to spend the rest of the night preparing for the meeting with Shiki the next day.


	28. Chapter 28

“Orihara-san? Is everything okay?”

“Hm?” Izaya’s eyes snapped back up to look at Shiki sitting across from him in the car.

He had been staring at nothing in particular for what was apparently enough time to attract the Awakusu executive’s attention.

“Ah, yes. I’m fine.” Izaya responded a bit too quickly.

Shiki shot him a skeptical look. “Are you sure? You’re looking a bit inattentive today.”

A small smile reached Izaya’s lips. “I’m just a bit tired is all. But I assure you, it’s nothing.”

Hah. He wished it was nothing.

After the two hours of sleep Saika had permitted, Izaya hadn’t slept a wink for the remainder of the night.

He had spent his time working on creating the file that Shiki now held in his hands. The meeting today was going to be with a rival yakuza group, and so Izaya had been asked to dig up some information on them.

Being a new group to Tokyo, apparently this new group—the Nakamura-kai—had been doing business in Awakusu territory. They claimed it was a mistake, and wanted to hold this meeting to make a deal.

Izaya’s job had been to look into the group and find out if their “mistake” was really that. He hadn’t found much to suggest that it was anything other than a simple mishap in the Nakamura-kai’s information on territory, but of course, Shiki and the rest of the Awakusu were still a bit apprehensive.

Shiki wanted Izaya to attend the meeting mainly to be another set of eyes. Shiki was nothing less of a master at reading people—even Izaya could admit that—but Shiki also acknowledged Izaya’s abilities as well. According to Shiki, having two people reading the actions of their enemy was better than one.

Izaya agreed, despite his brain telling him it was a terrible idea considering how distracted he’d been lately.

“Orihara-san? Are you listening?” Shiki’s voice broke into his thoughts.

“Terribly sorry, Shiki-san. Could you repeat that?”

Shiki sighed, closing the file in his lap. “Orihara-san, I don’t think you’re prepared for this meeting. I’ve never seen you so distracted.”

Izaya lowered his head. “I just haven’t been sleeping well. I can handle this though.”

“I wish I could believe that, but you should know that lack of sleep hinders focus. And going into a potentially dangerous meeting without focus is unwise.”

Damn… Shiki was right.

“However,” Shiki continued, “I still stand by the idea that I need someone with a level head like you, and with Akabayashi busy tonight, you’re my best option.”

“I’m honored to hear you say that, Shiki-san.” Izaya flashed a smile.

“Just make sure you’re focused.”

…~-~…

He wasn’t really sure what happened.

One minute, the Nakamura-kai members were calmly working out a deal with Shiki and his men, and then the next, everyone was aiming their weapons at one another.

Izaya followed instructions as Shiki signaled for him to stay put. He had been standing between two of Shiki’s men in the background, simply paying attention to the Nakamura-kai members.

He should have seen this coming when he noticed how one man’s eyes were constantly darting between the Awakusu and his comrades. He had brushed it off as a nervous tick until he saw the flash of metal from each man’s pockets.

Luckily, the Awakusu-kai were not simpletons, and had come prepared for such a case.

Izaya however, had only his flick blade.

A flicker of fear shot down Izaya’s spine when one of the Nakamura-kai members aimed his weapon directly at him.

Looking down the barrel of a gun was a whole new type of fear. He was frozen on the spot with only one thought running through his head:

‘If he pulls that trigger, I’m dead.’

Although, it seemed to be more of a warning than anything as the man made no move to fire the weapon in his hand. He merely aimed it at Izaya probably in an effort to keep him from going anywhere.

This situation was all too real for him. He was an informant. This wasn’t his territory. He worked in the background, away from all the action, and now here he was, shoved right into the middle of it all.

Slowly, the two men on either side of him began to inch closer to each other until Izaya could no longer see the weapon that could ever-so-easily take his life.

“Stay behind us, Orihara-san,” one of them whispered, “we can’t afford to lose you.”

To say he felt relieved at having his own bodyguards was an understatement.

However that relief was short lived when the sound of a gunshot rang out clearly in the large room.

His instant reaction was to get down, which was vocalized by the two men standing in front of him.

No one had to tell him twice.

But he was curious.

Risking a small glance from his hiding place, Izaya peered out at the other side of the room. He was overwhelmed by shock at what he saw.

Three of the Nakamura-kai’s men were shooting at their comrades. A quick glance confirmed that each of the three men had glowing red eyes.

Everything seemed to slow down for a moment as guns continued to fire, and confused shouts came from both groups.

It was complete chaos, and Izaya was stuck right in the middle.

Izaya found soon himself being dragged out of the room by the two men who had been guarding him.

The Awakusu-kai were outnumbered, and so it seems that everyone came to the same conclusion at once. They fled the scene as the Nakamura-kai were still in shock about their traitors.

Shiki’s men managed to get Shiki and Izaya into the car first before jumping in themselves.

As the car began pulling away from the scene, Shiki glanced around at the others in the car.

“Is everyone here?” he asked with his usual commanding tone, following with another question, “Is anyone hurt?”

Izaya sat next to Shiki, staring at his feet. Apparently the entire thing had been a set up. He should have expected that…

Hell, he should have _found_ that while creating the file on Nakamura-kai.

He messed up.

He—Orihara Izaya—messed up.

“Shiki-san, I—“

“Are you all right, Orihara-san?”

Izaya sat still for a moment trying to comprehend what Shiki had just asked. Why was he not already scolding Izaya for his mistake? He was supposed to be the best informant in Tokyo—maybe even Japan—and he had miscalculated.

“I—I’m fine,” he said quietly, “But, Shiki-san, about what happened, I—“

“It wasn’t your fault. Don’t worry about it.”Shiki said simply, “You said yourself that you’re tired. I can excuse it this time because nobody was hurt, but next time, make sure you get some sleep.”

Izaya nodded in response.

“Right now I’m more concerned about why those three men turned on them…” Shiki continued, resting his elbows on his knees, “They seemed to be one-hundred percent allied with the Nakamura-kai until that moment…”

Izaya tensed. Maybe Shiki hadn’t noticed their eyes…

But knowing Shiki, he would probably hand off figuring this out to—

“Orihara-san, I want you to look into those three men. You had their names in the file, yes?”

Closing his eyes, Izaya took a deep breath to calm himself. “Actually, Shiki-san, I think I know what happened.”

“Oh…?”

Izaya looked up at the others in the car. “Did any of you see their eyes?”

“Now that you mention it…” one man began, “their eyes looked like they were glowing red just like…”

“The Slasher?” Shiki finished.

“I recall a similar thing happening with the Yellow Scarves a few months ago,” Izaya said, “The gang members were turning on each other because of the Slasher’s influence.”

“So those men must have been victims of the Slasher… Which also means that they were lying to us and have been in Ikebukuro for quite some time.” Shiki concluded, “The only missing link is why they would pick that moment to turn on them. Why did it happen when we were there…?”

“That I don’t have an answer for, Shiki-san.” Izaya lied.

He couldn’t just tell Shiki that it was because of him. That Saika lived inside him and whispered to him… That Saika had probably possessed those men the instant it realized the danger its host was in…

He waited as Shiki studied him for a brief moment. It was a huge risk to lie to Shiki’s face, but he didn’t have much of a choice.

Keeping his breathing level and his body relaxed seemed to work well enough as Shiki shifted his gaze away from him.

“Yes, well… It’s not required of you; however, if you can find what might have caused this, don’t hesitate to let me know.” Shiki said.

“Will do, Shiki-san.”

…~-~…

Izaya spend the rest of the night lying in bed, reflecting on what had happened.

Saika still hadn’t said a word about it, and in fact, hadn’t even shown itself at all.

He vaguely wondered if the fear he had felt when things went sour had been enough to make Saika stronger.

It probably was…

For the first time in his life, Izaya cursed his cowardice.

Saika could essentially feed off of something he had no control over, and it pissed him off.

Turning on his side, Izaya tried to get some sleep. He couldn’t think straight anymore, and it was beginning to show in his work.

He’d gotten lucky that Shiki was so forgiving this time. He shuddered to think what would have happened to him if people had gotten hurt because of his mistake.

Actually, Saika saved his ass in more than one way tonight. Not only did it prevent him from getting hurt by the Nakamura-kai, but it also allowed the Awakusu-kai to escape unharmed; thus, saving him again.

Closing his eyes with a sigh, Izaya tried to relax. He pulled the covers up over his head, and curled up into himself.

Just as he began to drift off into a light sleep, his head began throbbing once again, forcing him awake.

“Damn it, Saika!” he said through gritted teeth, “Please. I need to sleep. Please…”

Great. Now he was begging.

But he couldn’t take it anymore. The lack of sleep was causing a lot of strain on his body and mind.

In the end, it seemed that Saika wasn’t willing to cooperate, leaving Izaya to sit through yet another sleepless night.


	29. Chapter 29

The sun hit his face just in time to wake him from the only sleep he had been allowed. Izaya looked at the clock and let out a small whimper.

One hour.

This was getting ridiculous.

While he was away, Saika had allowed at least four hours a night, even if it wasn’t very restful sleep. But only three hours over two days was sure to have some adverse effects.

Still, he managed to drag himself out of bed before calling Namie in to help out for the day.

She didn’t seem as stubborn as usual when she entered the room. Perhaps it was a result of spending less time with him and more time with her brother.

Needless to say, she got to work without much of a struggle. She didn’t even complain all that much when he told her to clean the dust off of everything.

Izaya sat at his computer, absentmindedly rearranging the folders on his desktop. He couldn’t focus enough to read anything, and he could feel himself zone out every once in a while.

Namie noticed too. There would be bouts of about twenty seconds or so when Izaya seemed to suddenly stop whatever he was doing, causing silence to fill the room for a brief moment before the sound of typing and clicking resumed.

When she looked over at him, she noticed that his eye lids had drooped slightly. She had noticed that he seemed a little bit off when she had arrived.

“Izaya?”

Namie raised a brow when he didn’t respond, then tried again.

“Izaya…?”

His head snapped up the second time. “Yes?”

“Have you been sleeping well?” she asked, already pretty sure she knew the answer.

Izaya tilted his head. “Where did that come from?” he said with a small laugh. “But no, to be honest, I haven’t.”

“You should take a pill or something. You were asleep just now.”

“What?” he asked. “What do you mean?”

“When someone is severely sleep deprived, their brain will shut down in a sort of sleep that only lasts a few seconds. It’s called microsleep.”

“I wasn’t asleep though.” Izaya pointed out.

“That’s the thing. The person isn’t always aware that they were asleep. Trust me, you were just asleep when I called your name.”

Izaya turned his attention back to his computer screen. He wondered if taking sleeping pills would even work at all. But he’d have to buy more if he wanted to find out. He’d taken the last of the ones he had over two months ago.

“You should go try to get some sleep.” Namie said quietly from her desk. “If you’re deprived enough to go into mircosleeps, then you’re not too far away from more severe physiological effects.”

“Yeah…” he agreed, standing up from his chair. He had noticed some other effects of his lack of sleep in the past few days. There was some fatigue, and of course the effect on his working abilities like his job for Shiki… And now that he thought about it, his hands were a bit unsteady as well.

All tell-tale signs of something he already knew.

He flopped down on the couch, immediately closing his eyes.

‘You heard her, Saika…’ he thought, ‘just let me get a decent amount of sleep…’

…~-~…

Once again, Izaya awoke to pain which quickly diminished once he sat up.

Namie was still at her desk, so he couldn’t have been out for too long. He checked his cell phone and was pleased to note that it was three o’clock, meaning that Saika had allowed him to sleep for four hours.

“So what exactly is keeping you from sleeping?” Namie asked from across the room.

Izaya quickly thought up a lie. “I’ve just been really busy.” he said quickly, “I’ve been staying up to catch up on work and I guess I didn’t realize how long it’d been since I got a decent amount of sleep.”

“If that was the case, then you would have been asleep much longer than you were just now.” she stated, “Being sleep deprived long enough to cause microsleeps isn’t something you should ignore. Of course, I can’t make you tell me the truth, but I advise that whatever it is, you do something about it.”

Izaya smiled at that. “I assure you, Namie, I’m doing the best I can.”

But she was right. Maybe he should try sleeping pills. Even if they don’t work, it’s not like he could get much more tired than he already has been.

Standing up from the couch, Izaya headed for the door, throwing on his coat and shoes.

“Namie,” he called on his way out, “you’re free to go now.”

He didn’t wait for her response before he made his way towards the elevator. All he needed to do was go to the pharmacy and grab some sleeping pills (and maybe something to eat) and then head home. Simple enough, right?

It was a completely unusual situation. Why did it have to happen today of all days? Why _now_?

He had only been out the door for a few minutes when the blonde head of Heiwajima Shizuo caught his attention. Apparently, work had brought him and Tom to Shinjuku at what was inarguably the worst possible time.

As usual, the chase ensued, with Izaya feeling particularly doubtful of his odds of escaping without loss of limb.

As he dived into alleys, turned sharp corners, dodged flying objects, and hid behind dumpsters, Izaya could feel what little energy he had draining. The only thing that kept him going was the adrenaline rush and the risk of death if he were to stop.

He wasn’t sure how it happened, but eventually he managed to lose the Fortissimo of Ikebukuro, and went on his way.

…~-~…

He’d known the instant Tom had told him they had to go to Shinjuku that he would run into the Flea. He was on high alert the entire time they had been walking only to nearly give up on the idea as they turned to head back to Ikebukuro.

And that was when he saw the fur-trimmed jacket of Orihara Izaya.

Izaya seemed slower as the chase began, prompting Shizuo to slow himself down out of curiosity. There was definitely something wrong with him, and after their last meeting, Shizuo was beginning to grow a bit more suspicious.

So he came up with a plan. It was something he didn’t usually do, and he’d have to apologize to Tom for taking so much time, but he decided to follow Izaya.

No, not follow as in chase, but rather he’d pretend to lose the Flea, and then see where he goes from there.

Not his usual tactic, but he simply had to figure out what was going on.

“Keep your friends close and you enemies closer” they say.

Shizuo watched as Izaya stopped to lean against a wall outside a nearby alley while he hid around the corner to avoid being seen. He couldn’t exactly see what Izaya was doing, but he would be able to see where he went next.

And when he did move, Shizuo was right behind.

It was a short walk before Shizuo watched Izaya walk into a pharmacy.

Was Izaya sick? Could that be what was slowing him down?

No, it had to be something more than that.

He waited until Izaya emerged from the store with a small bag in his hands. He had the sudden urge to simply run over and grab the bag from his thin fingers, but he resisted.

Izaya’s next stop was a small sushi restaurant where he came out with yet another small bag—although that one was a bit more obvious as to what was inside.

Izaya took a seat on a bench in a nearby small park, where he rummaged through the bag he’d gotten from the sushi shop. He pulled out a bottle of water before opening up the other bag.

He seemed to study the pill bottle in his hand. They were painkillers. Shizuo recognized the label on the bottle from when he was younger.

Maybe he really was sick? It seemed unlikely that something like a headache would slow Izaya down.

Shizuo watched as Izaya took the pills, and then pulled out another unfamiliar bottle. He read the label and shrugged before placing the bottle back in the bag.

And then something odd happened.

Izaya’s mouth was moving. Like he was talking.

He _was_ talking, but Shizuo couldn’t hear what he was saying from so far away, and he damn well couldn’t read lips.

Now, it wasn’t like talking to one’s self was particularly odd—in fact, Shizuo would be a liar if he said he didn’t do it every once in a while—but Izaya seemed to be on one end of an entire conversation. He would say something, and then pause, and then continue speaking again. His face changed a bit as the “conversation” continued as well. He’d been smiling slightly at first, but after a few pauses he looked as if he was becoming irritated.

Shizuo looked as closely as he could, but didn’t see any type of hands-free cellular device.

Maybe Izaya really _was_ insane, and Shizuo had been right all these years that there was seriously something wrong with the guy’s head.

Before he could dwell any further on the thought, Izaya was up and leaving the park. It was a short walk from there to Izaya’s apartment building, where Izaya entered the front door, disappearing from Shizuo’s sight.

Shizuo sighed as he pulled his pack of cigarettes out and lit one.

This wasn’t the end of his curiosity by any means. In fact, he was more motivated than before to figure out what was going on. He didn’t know what it was that inspired this sudden nosiness in him… Maybe it was all of those mystery movies he’d watched in that marathon last week.

But whatever had inspired it didn’t matter. All he wanted was to know what was up with the Flea. And he was going to figure it out somehow.

…~-~…

Izaya managed to drag himself into his loft just in time for the painkillers to kick in, fighting against the fatigue from the chase.

It was only half past four, but Izaya decided it would be worth his time to take the sleep-aid now.

After popping on in his mouth, Izaya placed the both bottles on the counter before opening up the bag containing his dinner. He ate a few pieces so that the pills wouldn’t mess with his stomach, and then headed to his bedroom, changed into his pajamas, and fell on to his bed with an audible sigh.

He then closed his eyes and waited for the pills to take effect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you’re wondering, the conversation Izaya would have been having in the park would have been something along the lines of Saika teasing him for having to take sleeping pills, and Izaya getting annoyed because it was Saika’s fault to begin with.


	30. Chapter 30

Why was he doing this? That’s a good question.

Why was he doing this _on his day off_? That’s a better question.

And he didn’t have an answer for either.

But after witnessing Izaya’s strange behavior yesterday, he was concerned.

No, not about the Flea. He was concerned for the rest of the city.

If Izaya really was insane, there was no doubt in Shizuo’s mind that the Flea could do some serious damage. He already could get people to eat out of the palm of his hand. What if his insanity spread to those people?

Okay, maybe thinking about insanity as a contagious disease was a bit much, but that didn’t mean he had no reason to be apprehensive about the whole thing.

And so there he was. Hiding just outside of the building where he could see Izaya’s loft from the ground. He only hoped that his position was close enough to the building that Izaya wouldn’t be able to see him as well.

He stood there for a while, sometimes moving to a new location and back, ignoring the looks he was receiving from the crowd.

Watching Izaya talk to himself like that yesterday was too strange for Shizuo to ignore. His curiosity had gotten the better of him.

There had been no activity all morning in the apartment, other than one person leaving and then returning (she had given him a strange look when she realized he’d been there the entire time).

Shizuo wondered if maybe he should give up and enjoy the rest of his day off when he looked up just in time to see Izaya step up to the window, looking down at the street.

Shizuo quickly ducked back into his hiding place, but it didn’t seem like Izaya had seen him.

He waited just a few seconds before he saw Izaya mouth move. It was difficult to see from so far below, but the Flea was definitely having a conversation with someone. Only other than the one woman, Shizuo hadn’t seen anyone enter the building. And he already knew Izaya lived alone, and he had arrived back here last night alone as well.

He was talking to himself again…

This time, he’d catch him.

Shizuo bolted into the building, using the elevator to get to the top floor. He reached Izaya’s door just in time to hear a voice—Izaya’s voice—make a small pained sound.

Not really caring to wonder as to what caused that noise, Shizuo kicked down the door just in time to see Izaya on his knees in the middle of the room.

His hands tightly gripped his head as a sudden shout of “LEAVE ME ALONE!” filled the room.

Shizuo glanced around. As he thought, there was no one in the room.

…Was Izaya hearing voices…?

Izaya’s shoulder drooped as his hands fell away from his head and to the ground. He was panting heavily as he merely slumped on the ground.

“…I-Izaya…?”

…~-~…

A pleased sigh escaped Izaya’s lips as he woke in his bed, tucked comfortably between the covers. He didn’t move for quite some time, allowing his body to enjoy the comfort of his bed for a few moments longer. Every time he shifted slightly, the new position felt even better than the last, and he soon found himself drifting in and out of a half-sleeping state.

He wasn’t sure how long this went on for before he decided it was time to get up. When he looked at his alarm clock, he smiled.

It was nine in the morning. He’d just slept for fifteen hours, and he couldn’t believe how good he felt.

If this had been any other time, he would have scolded himself for allowing so much time to be wasted, but not this time.

Izaya let out another deep breath as he fell back into the bed and rested for a few moments. Once he was ready, he got out of bed, showered, and made himself breakfast along with a nice cup of tea.

While he was eating, he called Namie and told her not to come in today. He wanted to relax, and having her here would only turn things sour.

As Izaya continued his day in, he realized that Saika hadn’t said a word nor shown itself since last night.

Maybe it was finally giving him a bit of peace? Or was it up to something…?

Most likely the latter, but since there was nothing he could do about it, Izaya chose to simply enjoy his time without being bothered by that nagging voice in his head.

_“Did you sleep well…?”_

Closing his eyes, Izaya took a deep breath to keep himself calm. He turned towards the direction of the voice to find Saika standing behind his chair, looking down at the city below.

“Yes, I did actually.” he responded, “I suppose I should thank you for allowing it, but I doubt it was something you were willing to do, so I won’t.”

 _“Fair enough…”_ Saika whispered, still staring out the window.

Izaya got out of his chair to stand next to Saika. “What’re you looking at?” he asked, following Saika’s gaze.

 _“Just looking at all of the humans down there…”_ it said quietly, _“I love them, Izaya…”_

“I love them too, you know?” Izaya said with a smile, “Always have…”

_“You hurt them…”_

“And you don’t?” Izaya said with a laugh, “You hurt this particular human all the time and you don’t seem to have any qualms.” he said pointing to himself.

_“You’re different… You’re so different than them, yet you’re still so similar to them…”_

“Well, I _am_ human too, remember?” Izaya pointed out.

_“Yes… You are… But you distance yourself from the rest of them so much that sometimes, I could almost forget… Humans seek comfort from other humans. You never have. You’re different…”_

“That’s not necessarily true…” Izaya said, “There have been times where I’ve wanted someone there for me. I think what makes me different is that I don’t try to find someone to fill that need of mine.”

_“Yes… That’s true…”_

“So what brought this on, anyway…?”

Saika was quiet for a moment. _“I was thinking about… About the way you interact with Shizuo.”_

“Ah, this again…”

 _“Don’t keep trying to deny it…”_ Saika said sharply, _“I’ve seen enough to tell me otherwise.”_

“No… I won’t deny it anymore…” Izaya said solemnly, much to Saika’s surprise, “But that doesn’t mean I’m going to act on it either. Even if what I’ve been feeling is ‘love’, he doesn’t feel the same for me, so I’m not going to bother trying to change us from what we are. As long as I can see him, and he acknowledges my existence—even if it’s with hatred—I will be satisfied.”

_“Your logic is so strange…”_

“Thank you!” Izaya said with a smile. They were silent for a bit longer as they both watched the humans on the streets below. “Why can’t we always be agreeable like this…?

_“Because although we both love humans, we’re still too different. You’re happy just watching them from up here… I want to get out and carve my love into all of them…”_

“Right, right…”

_“And I’m sorry I have to do this, but letting you get your energy back has made me weaker…”_

He didn’t have to ask what was coming next. The sharp pain in his head was something to be expected now whenever he started feeling good for once in his life.

But as it grew increasingly worse, Izaya was forced to head over to the couch. However before he could make it there, the pain suddenly tore down his spine, making his vision blank out, and his knees buckle.

“F-Fuck…” he breathed through the pain, “Why can’t you just let me feel good for one damn day?!”

 _“I don’t_ want _to harm you… It’s just that it’s the only way for me to get stronger… Although you can’t deny that you deserve it for everything you’ve done…”_

“I haven’t done anything to deserve all of this… What you’ve done is much worse…” Izaya said through gritted teeth.

_“Enough…”_

“Nnngghh—!” Izaya bit his lip as the pain intensified, and a loud ringing sound filled his ears, along with a loud bang that he couldn’t even begin to comprehend what it was. “LEAVE ME ALONE!” he yelled.

The pain vanished just as suddenly as it had appeared, leaving Izaya panting on the ground, unable to move from the spot.

“…I-Izaya…?” a deep voice questioned.

No… Not just any voice…

Izaya’s head snapped up to see Shizuo standing in the middle of the room, looking at him with one brow raised. A quick glance at the now destroyed door told Izaya what the loud bang had been.

He couldn’t move.

His body was still in shock from the pain, while his mind was equally as shocked by the man standing a few meters in front of him.

“Who were you talking to…?” Shizuo asked hesitantly.

He couldn’t respond. Nothing made sense in his head anymore. He briefly searched the room for Saika only to find that it had already disappeared.

He was speechless.


	31. Chapter 31

‘Who was he talking to?’

How could he answer that without sounding like he was completely off his rocker?

He sat there for a few moments on the floor, his legs feeling much too weak to support him if he were to try and stand up.

His mind was blank, leaving him only able to come up with one answer.

“No one.” he said simply.

Shizuo was a bit confused at Izaya’s obvious lie. He’d never before been able to tell if Izaya was lying or not, but this time… It was all too obvious.

And he should be getting angry, but the strange thing was that he wasn’t angry. He went through a list of possible emotions in his head that could describe what he was feeling, eventually settling on pity.

Why on Earth did he feel pity for the Flea who had ruined much of his life?

It was probably because of how absolutely pathetic he looked right now.

Izaya hadn’t moved from his place on the floor, making Shizuo wonder if he even _could_ stand up. He had definitely been in pain just before Shizuo had kicked the door down. Could that be what was keeping him on the ground?

No… He didn’t look like he was in pain anymore… More like he was…

Wait… No…

He couldn’t be…

…Afraid…?

“Sh-Shizu-chan…?” Izaya questioned, “Why are you looking at me like that…?”

Shit… Was the Flea actually _scared_? If he was, it didn’t seem like he was afraid of him, but rather something else.

Shizuo searched the room once more, finding nothing suspicious.

“I know you were talking to someone, Flea. Tell me now.” he said threateningly.

“I told you,” he began, pulling himself up from the floor, “I wasn’t talking to anyone.”

Shizuo watched nervously as Izaya’s legs struggled to hold him up. Izaya was tightly gripping the edge of his desk to hold himself up.

“I saw you, Izaya.” Shizuo said flatly, “Yesterday in the park, and just now. You were talking.”

Izaya’s face instantly went white. His lips pressed together tightly, as he averted his eyes from Shizuo.

“What’s going on with you?” he asked.

His eyes closed tightly for a moment as Izaya bit his lower lip. When he opened his eyes again, he turned his attention back to Shizuo.

“It’s none of your business.” Izaya said sternly, “So just get out of here and forget all about it.”

“No. I’m not about to do that when clearly there is something wrong here!” Shizuo said, raising his voice as his anger began to take over.

“Since when do you care what happens to me?!” Izaya returned Shizuo’s increased anger.

“I don’t care what happens to you. I’m more concerned about the damage you could do to this city!”

“Would you just drop it already?!” Izaya said, pushing himself off of the desk, “I don’t have any plans to do anything other than to sort my own life out. I’m staying out of Ikebukuro, aren’t I? Isn’t that all you ever wanted?!”

“Yes, but you’ve been acting strange, and I can’t trust you not to come right back and ruin everything like you always do!” Shizuo yelled, walking up to Izaya. He stood his ground as Shizuo approached. “Besides, it’s much harder to trust someone whose mind clearly unstable.”

“W-what?!” Izaya blurted out.

“You heard me.” Shizuo said flatly.

Izaya took a step back. “Oh… I see…” he said quietly, “So you think I’m…”

Izaya trailed off, looking at the floor for a few moments. The room was silent for a while before Shizuo spoke up again.

“Izaya…?”

“Get out.” he said quietly, recalling from the last time that if he was stern enough, Shizuo would listen to him.

“What?”

“I said get out.” Izaya lifted his head to look into Shizuo’s eyes. “Believe what you want, but I’m not insane, and I’m not planning anything. So just get out of my apartment. Now.”

Izaya watched as Shizuo hesitated, and then turned to leave through the broken door. Once he was gone, Izaya released a long breath, and turned around to lean over his desk.

So apparently Shizuo thought he was schizophrenic or something…

This is precisely why he never told anyone about Saika. No one would believe him. They’d assume he was just crazy.

Taking a moment to gather himself, Izaya went to check the damage on his door before calling to have it replaced.

…~-~…

Two short days had passed since Shizuo showed up in his apartment. Izaya had been taking the sleeping pills along with painkillers every night, and they seemed to be helping if only a bit.

Of course, because he was getting more sleep at night, Saika found the need to cause him as much pain as possible during the day.

However, it wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle. After all, Saika didn’t want to waste too much of its strength merely on causing Izaya pain. Saika needed him weak, but with the extra amount of sleep he’d been getting, it seemed to take a bit more energy for Saika to actually cause him pain to begin with.

But oddly enough, that wasn’t what was bothering him at the moment as he sat on the couch with his laptop.

He was trying to get some work done, but clearly that wasn’t happening today. There was one thing eating away at him in the back of his mind.

The way Shizuo had been questioning him… He had been so adamant about getting answers out of him. And yet Shizuo had so obediently left the apartment without so much as another word.

Izaya couldn’t figure out why.

What had gotten into the brute lately? He even admitted to watching Izaya in the park.

He really should be more careful where he decided to have conversations with Saika. Sometimes he merely forgot he wasn’t supposed to be talking to himself in public. He had been pretty tired that day after all.

And now Shizuo probably thought he was insane.

Izaya placed his laptop back on the coffee table and turned it off.

He grabbed his coat and threw it on along with his shoes.

He was going to find Shizuo.

Not with any intentions to do or say anything to him, but rather, Izaya wanted to see what Shizuo’s reaction would be to seeing him on the streets after their last meeting. He was curious.

And so he headed out the door just as a few snowflakes began to fall from the sky.


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is possibly my favorite chapter in this fic actually or at least even with another later chapter... It was one of the ideas floating in my head that made me want to write this fic to begin with. 
> 
> I was trying to do stuff with colors but I don't know if it was successful enough for people to notice...
> 
> Either way, thanks for reading!!

Izaya sighed to himself when he didn’t see any sign of Shizuo after twenty minutes in Ikebukuro. He could always try his apartment, but that just sounded like a terrible idea.

And so Izaya continued to wander the city, looking around for the blond-headed beacon that had always interested him so very much.

The snow flurries that had begun to fall earlier new became a mixture of rain and snow, coating the streets with a disgusting grey slush. Izaya kicked it around a bit as he walked, watching the way it gathered on either side of his shoes with each step he took.

Looking up into the dark sky, Izaya hunched his shoulders forward slightly. Still no sign of Shizuo probably meant he wasn’t out tonight. And with the crappy grey-as-far-as-the-eye-could-see weather, who could blame him?

Izaya spun on his heels, ready to head back home when finally heard what he’d been waiting to hear all night.

“Izaya!”

He turned to look over his shoulder in the direction of Shizuo’s voice, managing to catch a glimpse of the man through the grey fog.

A smile spread over Izaya’s face at the familiar reaction. It was as if their past meeting had never happened, and Izaya couldn’t have been happier.

The chase began like normal, with objects flying in his direction. It was a bit difficult to dodge the projectiles considering the layer of slush on the ground, but he managed for a while.

That is until one particularly icy spot became his downfall.

No, he didn’t slip. He’d actually seen the spot very clearly ahead of him, and he would have successfully cleared the spot as he jumped over it.

Except in that one moment as he was in midair, Izaya had taken a quick glance behind him to see a bright red trashcan flying straight at him.

There was no way he could have dodged it. Not unless he could control the laws of physics, which sadly, he could not.

The trash can collided painfully with his back, sending him crashing to the ground just past that one patch of ice on the ground which he now cursed with every fiber of his being.

He could hear the screeching of car breaks, and the red break lights from the cars that had swerved to avoid him when he landed in the street. Looking to his left, he could still make out the red traffic signal as well.

Lucky for him there was a red light. If those cars had been going full speed, he’d be done for right now.

The ground was freezing cold as he lay there, his body too stunned to move quite yet.

“Oi, Flea. Get your ass up.” Shizuo said above him.

Izaya managed to focus his vision long enough to see the red flash from the “Do Not Enter” sign that Shizuo held in his hand before his eyes slipped closed out of reflex from the pain in his back.

A few moments later, he felt the front of his coat being pulled off of the ground, taking his body with it. He was dragged out of the street, and then thrown into a nearby alleyway which Shizuo stood at the entrance to.

“Nggh…” Izaya groaned as he tried to sit up. His head was spinning, and he could feel a sharp pain down his spine. He managed to pull himself to his knees before lifting his head to look at Shizuo.

Why did he take him out of the street like that? Normally he’d have seen it as an opportunity to throw Izaya in front of a truck as some type of revenge.

But Izaya couldn’t think of an answer to any of the questions that popped into his head.

Because his mind had gone blank.

Izaya’s breath caught in the throat at the sight of Saika standing directly behind Shizuo.

It looked at him with its red eyes which seemed to glow brighter than ever at this particular moment.

His jaw dropped slightly. He had to say something. Couldn’t Shizuo sense it?! Aren’t monsters supposed to have some sort of supernatural detection sense?!

No. Shizuo didn’t have that.

Because Shizuo was human.

As much as Izaya didn’t want to admit it, Shizuo was human.

And the gun that Saika slowly began to raise to that blonde head would surely be the end of him.

He recalled Saika’s words from before: _“I can create enough fear and pain in you in order to possess you if I_ kill _him…”_

Izaya tensed as Saika stared directly at him, gun still raised to the back of Shizuo’s head.

Shizuo. Turn around. Look behind you. _Move_!

“Izaya…?” Shizuo questioned, his grip on the street sign loosening.

Izaya’s eyes widened when a smirk spread over Saika’s face.

It was just a hallucination, right?

Saika couldn’t kill anyone like this, right?

His heart rate skyrocketed with every passing second. He could feel himself break out in a cold sweat as his hands began to shake.

‘Saika, please…’ he tried to communicate nonverbally, but Saika’s smirk only grew with his desperation. ‘Don’t… Saika… Please, no…’

There was a brief moment in which Saika’s arm tensed slightly before the sound of a shot rang clearly in Izaya’s head.

“NO!” he shouted, arm outstretched towards Shizuo.

The blonde jumped slightly, but remained on his feet.

He hadn’t jumped because he’d been shot.

He’d jumped because Izaya had yelled.

Arm still outstretched, Izaya’s mind was in complete disarray as Saika disappeared from his sight.

“…I-Izaya…?” Shizuo said again, turning to look behind him and then back, “Everything okay…?”

When Shizuo took a step towards him, Izaya let his arm drop to his side.

So it _was_ one of Saika’s hallucinations…

“Izaya? Hey! Answer me!”

As Shizuo grew closer, alarm bells rang in Izaya’s head. He quickly pushed himself off of the ground, dashing past Shizuo, and out of the alley.

He continued to run even as the pain from the hit continued to slow him down.

“Get back here!” he heard Shizuo call out from behind him.

He didn’t look back. He just kept running. He kept running until he felt a hand wrap around his forearm, and throw him against the nearest building, holding him there.

Izaya struggled to break out of Shizuo’s grip, but he only held tighter the more he struggled.

“Izaya! Hey!” he called, “Look at me!”

He didn’t want to. He couldn’t explain to Shizuo what had just happened. There was no way to explain it.

Even when Shizuo grabbed his face with his free hand, Izaya didn’t look Shizuo in the eye.

He was stuck. The death grip Shizuo had on his arm made it impossible to get away, forcing him to stop struggling. He was pretty sure if Shizuo gripped him any tighter, his arm would break.

“I said look at me.” Shizuo growled, tightening his grip on Izaya’s arm ever so slightly more.

A small pained noise escaped Izaya’s lips before doing as he was told.

Shizuo looked him in the eye for a few moments, studying him under the light from a nearby street lamp.

Izaya wanted to run. He wanted nothing more than to get out of this position, but he was stuck.

“What the fuck has gotten in to you lately, Flea?” Shizuo asked quietly. “All of this is just weird. Even for you.”

“It has nothing to do with you.” he responded, “Just let me go and forget about it.”

“Not until you tell me what happened back there.” Shizuo demanded, pushing Izaya even further into the wall.

“I’m just… not feeling well, okay…?” Izaya said, desperate to get away. He hated feeling trapped, and Shizuo was trapping him more than just physically.

“I don’t believe you.”

“Well fuck, Shizuo!” he blurted out, “What am I supposed to tell you? Even if I tell you the truth, you won’t believe me. Is the only thing you’ll accept from me what you want to hear me say? Well then here: I’m a fucking Flea who is currently masterminding a plan to destroy your life along with this entire city. Hell, maybe I’m trying to destroy all of Japan! Maybe the entire _world_! Oh, and let’s not forget that I’m also a schizophrenic psychopath according to you, so it must be the truth because Heiwajima Shizuo knows fucking everything about me!”

“W-woah…” Shizuo suddenly let go of Izaya, taking a few steps back. “I… I didn’t mean—“

“Shut up.” Izaya said, lowering his voice. “Just let me go home.”

When Shizuo said nothing else in response, Izaya took a few walking steps away from the wall before taking off full speed once again.

This time there was no sign that he was being followed.


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOC AHOY!!!

Izaya dragged himself inside his apartment, finally making it to the couch where he carefully sat himself down. His back still hurt from the impact of both the trash can, and being thrown against a wall by Shizuo. Not to mention he was pretty sure he was going to have a large bruise where Shizuo had gripped his arm.

Shizuo…

That name just didn’t bring out the same reaction in Izaya as it used to. Because even though he knew it would do no good… Even though he knew it would only make him feel worse afterwards…

He still wanted to see Shizuo again…

Deep down, he regretted not opening up to him just a few minutes ago.

The only problem was that despite the way he’d been acting lately, Izaya knew that Shizuo still hated him.

Even if Izaya might be accepting his own twisted feelings, it didn’t mean the same was happening to Shizuo.

And after that display before he ran for it… Well… He doubted Shizuo would try to talk to him civilly again.

He sighed lightly. It seemed like all he’d been doing lately was running from his problems… From his feelings as well…

Grabbing his phone, Izaya scrolled down to Shizuo’s number, his finger hovering over the “call” button. He sat there for another minute debating what the consequences of this one small phone call might be.

What would he even say…?

What would _Shizuo_ say…?

Would he even answer…?

There was only one way to find out, but he simply couldn’t bring himself to do it.

He flipped his phone closed and set it on the coffee table before resting his head in his hands.

“Saika,” he said weakly, “This needs to stop.”

 _“I have no plans to stop anytime soon.”_ Saika returned.

Izaya didn’t continue the conversation any further, knowing it would only lead him to feeling worse about everything.

And so he sat on the couch, pulling his knees to his chest and hugging them in an attempt to comfort himself. As clichéd as it was, he now understood the idea of needing to physically hold yourself together to keep from falling apart. Because in that moment, he felt as if he actually might shatter into a million pieces if he wasn’t too careful.

And when he felt a sharp sting in his eyes, along with a single drop of wetness sliding down his cheek, he wondered if he really was falling apart.

Orihara Izaya doesn’t cry.

Whoever this person was that he’d become, he didn’t like him.

He took a few shaky deep breaths as he tightened his arms around his knees, burying his face between them.

It was getting to be too much. No one person should have to handle something like this alone, and yet… He’d structured his own life in a way that he had no choice in the matter.

He was alone in this, and he had to accept that.

He jumped when he heard his door open behind him, but he didn’t bother turning around to find out who it was.

Maybe it was some kind of assassin here to put him out of his misery.

Hah. Now he was beginning to embrace death? Really, who the hell had he become?

“Izaya? What are you doing…?”

He couldn’t place the voice, but he definitely knew it.

A warm hand was carefully placed on his shoulder, causing Izaya to shift his eyes to follow a white sleeve up to a blonde head.

Shizuo…?

“Masaomi-kun?”

Ah, right. How could he forget? Masaomi was supposed to report back to him tonight after Izaya sent him and Saki away for a while.

This was just more evidence that Izaya wasn’t himself right now.

“H-hey… you okay…?” Masaomi asked hesitantly, “It’s dark in here, you know?”

Izaya didn’t feel like responding. He would just tell Masaomi to leave him alone and come back some other time, but he wasn’t too sure he wanted that either. So instead he just curled up even smaller in his spot on the couch and waited.

A few more moments of silence passed in which Izaya felt the couch sink down next to him and Masaomi let out a long breath.

Izaya vaguely wondered why the hell Masaomi hadn’t left already, but those thoughts were quickly covered up by the other ideas that had been swirling around in his head.

“So what are you crying about?”

Izaya stiffened at the calmly asked question.

Well, he hadn’t exactly been hiding it very well. Anyone with half a brain would be able to see the way his shoulders trembled with every breath. Maybe Masaomi had even seen the tears on his face when he turned to glance at him earlier.

“It’s nothing you need to concern yourself with.” Izaya whispered. His voice was much steadier than he’d thought it was going to be, but it still wavered a bit.

“You’ve been acting strange I hear. I passed by Shizuo on the way here and he was muttering to himself about you ‘suddenly becoming a crazy person’ or something like that.” Masaomi paused for a moment before continuing, “I saw you fighting him.”

Izaya lifted his head slightly. “You… you did…?”

“Well, not all of it. Just the part when he threw you into the wall. I couldn’t hear what you two were saying, but… I’ve never seen you look so… Never mind.”

Scared? Upset? Pathetic?

There were a million and one words and phrases that could have described how Izaya had probably looked when he was talking to Shizuo.

Izaya felt a hand rest on his back and begin lightly moving across his shoulders.

“What are you doing…?” Izaya mumbled into his knees, turning slightly so he could look at Masaomi.

“Don’t get used to it,” he began, “It’s just that knowing you, something must really be wrong for you to… act like this. To be honest, you look terrible.”

Izaya raised a brow. He didn’t doubt that he probably did look dreadful at the moment. He definitely felt like it.

But… It did feel pretty good to have some kind of human contact.

After all, recently all he’d had to communicate was Saika, Shizuo interrogating him, and Namie the ice queen.

Izaya lost himself in Masaomi’s ministrations. There was no feeling behind it, and Izaya could guarantee Masaomi wasn’t happy doing this. It was probably out of pity. But he really didn’t care. It felt good, so he’d allow it to continue regardless of the motive.

He faded in and out of awareness for a few minutes as his breathing evened out. It just felt so good to be near another human being who wasn’t either trying to kill him or lecturing him about anything and everything. He felt his shoulders relax after another minute or so. He could so easily fall asleep like this…

No. This was enough.

Izaya lightly brushed Masaomi’s hand away as he stretched his legs out to sit normally on the couch. After lightly clearing his throat, Izaya forced himself to his feet.

“Uh… Thanks.” he mumbled.

“Yeah, well… Like I said, I wasn’t doing it to be nice to you. Let’s just say the thought of you being anything other than yourself is much scarier of a thought than the way you normally act.”

That made Izaya grin lightly. “Hm. I guess you’re right.” He paused for a moment before continuing, “You don’t need to report back to me for a while unless I call you, okay? Just… Take Saki and do what you want. I’ll give you two some financial support until you’re stable.”

“You sure about that? It’s very unlike you…” Masaomi pointed out.

“Yeah, well… Take the offer before I change my mind.” Izaya said, shooing Masaomi out the door.

Once he was gone, Izaya grabbed his painkillers and sleeping pills and headed for bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize if Izaya/Kida is not your cup of tea, but I ship it so I decided to switch things up a bit from what would be expected in a fic like this. Instead of Shizuo, it's Kida who sees Izaya cry for the first time. But don't worry, this is a Shizaya fic at the end of the day.


	34. Chapter 34

Izaya smiled at a successful job done this evening. He’d been contacted by the head of a rather large banking company who wanted him to look into a security company that might have installed faulty cameras. Izaya found that the company had done more than that, also installing very small hidden cameras in places where they shouldn’t have been.

After spending all day hacking into the company’s files, he’d managed to shut down the hidden cameras; thus earning a large check in payment for his services. The money was enough to make up for the time he’d spent away from work lately and more.

As he continued making his way back, he heard something from a nearby alley.

“Hey, you there.” A voice called from the alley, “You’re Orihara Izaya, aren’t you?”

His hand curled around his knife in his pocket as he turned to face the man calling him. “Yes, that would be me. Can I be of service?”

“Uh, yeah. It won’t take long. I have cash.” The man said quietly.

Izaya carefully stepped inside the alleyway, a bit unnerved by the way this man kept his face hidden from view.

_“Now, hold still.”_

Izaya gasped as the voice suddenly changed to Saika’s copy of his own voice, and the man removed his hood to reveal the image of himself with glowing red eyes.

He couldn’t move fast enough when Saika pulled out a gun and fired twice into Izaya’s abdomen.

The pain quickly infiltrated his senses despite his knowledge that it was all a hallucination.

Even knowing that he wasn’t really bleeding out on the ground, the pain was all too real. He bit his lip to keep from making noise, just in case anyone were to walk by. Luckily for him, the streets were rather quiet tonight.

A few small whimpers escaped his lips as the pain intensified. He pressed his hand into the “wound” out of reflex, trying to hold back the pained yell growing in his throat. Taking a few deep shuddering breaths helped to keep him quiet, but it did nothing for the pain.

 _“Does it hurt, Izaya?”_ Saika asked, standing over him. _“Doesn’t it feel so very real…?”_

Even if he wanted to respond to Saika, he couldn’t. It wasn’t real, but that didn’t stop his body from panicking, and he soon began to hyperventilate as he tried to hold on to consciousness.

“What the hell? Izaya?”

No… not now…

…~-~…

Shizuo was merely carrying a bag of groceries home when he heard a small whimper from the alley he’d just walked past. Normally he’d have just kept going, but something in him told him he should take a look.

Maybe it was some weird kind of instinct because what were the odds that the sound he’d heard would reveal itself to be coming from the Flea only a few meters into the alley.

“What the hell? Izaya?” Shizuo blurted out.

He looked like he was in a lot of pain, but from what Shizuo could see, there was no injury. Not that he was surprised about that detail. Izaya had been acting strange enough lately that he wasn’t sure if anything he did would surprise him anymore.

But still… He really didn’t look too good.

Placing the bag against the wall, Shizuo carefully approached Izaya, kneeling on the ground next to him.

“Nnnaah—“

Shizuo raised a brow when he noticed Izaya was clutching a spot on his stomach, still not seeing any blood.

“Flea? What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

Maybe he had a really bad stomach ache…?

Or maybe something like appendicitis…?                     

“Hey, say something!”Shizuo said, lightly nudging Izaya’s shoulder.

When he finally spoke, his voice was almost too quiet for Shizuo to hear. “Is… Is there… any blood…?”

Blood? So maybe he was hurt…?

“Move your hand.” Shizuo said, looking at the spot Izaya was holding.

Izaya seemed a bit hesitant, but carefully removed his hand from his abdomen. From what Shizuo could see, there was nothing there; however, the way Izaya quickly put his hand back as he grew even more pale made Shizuo wonder if maybe there really was a wound that he couldn’t see.

“I don’t see anything, Izaya. What happened?”

“Ah, if… if there’s nothing there, then I’ll be fine as soon as it stops hurting…” Izaya whispered, wincing as he tried to shift his position on the ground.

“As soon as what stops hurting? What the hell is going on with you?!” Shizuo raised his voice, beginning to lose patience with the man crumpled on the ground in front of him.

“The… The pain is just a… a hallucination…”

“What?! What are you talking about?!”

A few seconds later, Shizuo could see the pain begin to fade from Izaya’s face as he gained back a bit of his color. He was still a bit pale, but he was breathing a lot smoother now. Shizuo could only stare in confusion as he let his hand drop away from his abdomen, and brought himself to a sitting position.

“See?” he said breathlessly, “I’m fine.”

Fine? From what Shizuo had seen recently, the past two days in particular, he was positive that the Flea was anything but fine.

Standing up, Shizuo took hold of Izaya’s wrist and pulled him to his feet before grabbing his groceries with his other hand.

“Wait—Shizu-chan! Where are you taking me?” Izaya asked as Shizuo pulled him out of the alley.

“My place.” he said flatly, “We’re going to have a chat, and you’re going to tell me what the hell is going on with you.”

…~-~…

Nothing made sense anymore.

Why was he here?

Or a better question: Why was he here, accepting a meal from Heiwajima Shizuo—and wearing his clothes?!

“Uhh… Thanks…” Izaya mumbled, taking the bowl on his lap.

His clothes had soaked through without his noticing while he had been on the ground, so Shizuo brought him a spare t-shit and a pair of sweatpants while his own clothes were being washed.

Shizuo was silent as he sat down on the other end of the couch with his own dinner, lightly blowing on it to cool it down.

Canned soup wasn’t usually all that appetizing to him, but considering he’d barely eaten all day, and he was freezing from being outside, he decided to eat his meal without a fuss.

He shivered as he took the first bite from the sudden warmth in stark contrast to the rest of his body. If Shizuo noticed, he said nothing about it.

Shizuo finished his meal first, placing the bowl on the wobbly coffee table in front of them before pulling his cigarettes out of his pocket and lighting one.

“Don’t give me that shit,” Shizuo said, noticing the grimace on Izaya’s face when the smell of smoke filled the room, “it’s my apartment, and frankly, having you here is making me need this.”

“I won’t try and stop you.” Izaya responded flatly, poking at the rest of the soup in his bowl.

Shizuo leaned back as he blew out a long stream of smoke. “So do you usually not eat much, or…”

“I’m just not very hungry is all…” Izaya said with a faint smile.

“You said you hadn’t eaten yet though.” Shizuo pointed out.

“Yeah, well…” he trailed off before changing the subject, “Why are you doing this?”

“Hm? Ah… I… I don’t really have an answer for that… All I can say is that I know something is very wrong with you lately, and in all honesty, I’d rather have you being your old Flea self then whatever this is.” he gestured to Izaya as he spoke.

“Funny, I thought you’d be jumping for joy at the thought of my suffering…”

“I did too, but… I guess not.” he said with a shrug, “So are you going to tell me what happened or am I going to have to beat it out of you?”

 


	35. Chapter 35

_“Funny, I thought you’d be jumping for joy at the thought of my suffering…”_

_“I did too, but… I guess not.” he said with a shrug, “So are you going to tell me what happened or am I going to have to beat it out of you?”_

Izaya could only look at Shizuo with a blank expression. How _could_ he explain what’s been happening to him? Especially to Shizuo. If he were to tell him about Saika, he was sure Shizuo would remember the name, and then he’d probably get mad at Izaya for lying to him about his involvement in the Slasher incidents.

Whether he told the entire story, or said nothing… Either way would end in a beating.

He’d like to avoid that.

“I don’t plan on sitting here all night, Flea.” Shizuo warned.

“I know, I know… Just give me a minute to think…” Izaya said.

“What’s there to think about?” Shizuo argued, “Just spit it out.”

“Shizu-chan, believe me, it’s very complicated.”

Shrugging, Shizuo sat back on the couch, placing the cigarette back in his mouth. Izaya watched the smoke drift into the air and slowly disperse. As much as he hated the smell, just watching the smoke was helping to calm his nerves.

With a long sigh, Izaya began, “Okay… I know how this is going to sound at first, but I assure you, it’s not what it sounds like.”

“Go on,” Shizuo said, raising a brow.

Moving so that his elbows were on his knees, he rested his head in his hands. This was the first time he’d ever told anyone about this. Why did it have to be Shizuo of all people?

“I don’t want to go into too much detail, but… I have been hearing a voice in my head.” he said quietly.

If Shizuo had any emotional response to Izaya’s confession, he didn’t show it. “For how long?” he asked.

“My entire life. I’ve never told anyone because it was never really a problem until now…”

“So that day when I showed up at your place and you were on the ground yelling…?”

“When you say it like that, it sounds a bit strange, but… Yes… I was talking to it at that time.”

“And it talks back to you…?” Shizuo asked, sitting forward in his seat.

Izaya moved his arms so that they were wrapped around his waist in the front in a sort of self-hug. “Y-yes…”

He couldn’t figure out why Shizuo was being so calm about all of this. It was a bit unsettling for Izaya, considering this was probably the longest they’ve carried out a conversation without trying to kill each other.

Shizuo calmly put out his cigarette in the ashtray on the table before he spoke again.

“Don’t you think you should go to a hospital?”

Izaya’s stomach lurched at the suggestion. He could feel his heart begin to race at the thought of being stuck in a mental hospital. Was this what Shizuo had planned this whole time? To try and get him to confess he’d been hearing voices? Was Shizuo going to try and tie him up and forcibly take him there?

“I-it’s not like that, Shizu-chan,” he tried to sound natural, but he was pretty sure he was failing. “I’m perfectly sane.”

“Last time I checked, sane people didn’t have conversations with voices in their head.” Shizuo pointed out.

 _“He’s right you know…”_ Saika whispered in his ear.

Izaya quickly turned in the direction of the voice to see Saika standing next to him on the opposite side of Shizuo.

‘Shut up’ he said to Saika in his head.

“Izaya? You okay?”

Realizing he just turned to look at a person that Shizuo couldn’t see, Izaya slowly faced Shizuo again.

“Ah, s-sorry about that…” he said, rubbing the back of his neck where his hair was standing on end.

Shizuo gave him a skeptical look, but said nothing.

“I know it’s difficult to believe, but for once in your life you have to trust me, Shizuo. The voice… The voice is real. And I know what it sounds like, but I’m not crazy!”

Shizuo sighed, mirroring Izaya’s action of rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m sorry Izaya, but it’s really hard for me to believe you on this… I won’t make you go to the hospital, but I really think you should. This… This isn’t normal.”

“I know it’s not normal, but that doesn’t mean it’s not real!” Izaya reasoned.

_“Maybe you should go to the hospital. They’ll drug you up until you won’t know which way is up and then I can get out with no problems!”_

“You’re not helping!” Izaya snapped, looking over at Saika.

He realized his mistake instantly.

Saika laughed as Izaya stiffened and slowly turned back to Shizuo.

“I-I… N-no… That… That wasn’t…” Izaya fought to come up with an explanation for his outburst, but there was nothing. Nothing for him to blame it on, and no way to hide it.

No way to run.

“Shit.” he whispered as he hung his head.

The look that Shizuo had just given him… There was an understanding in the man’s eyes that shouldn’t be there. Izaya could only hope that Shizuo would stay true to his promise that he wouldn’t make Izaya go to the hospital. He’d have to be much more careful around him from now on.

“Listen, I think you should spend the night here.” Shizuo said hesitantly.

“What…? Why?”

“Well, it’s pretty late, and you… don’t look so great right now. And just because I’m not sending you off to the loony bin, doesn’t mean the next person to see you collapsed in an alley won’t.”

“I guess you have a point there…” Izaya agreed, “So I’ll be sleeping right here I take it?”

Shizuo paused for a moment, looking as if he was unsure of his decision. Why wouldn’t he be? They were supposed to be enemies trying to kill each other at every opportunity, but this…

This was just plain awkward. And Izaya could agree with Shizuo on that.

Shaking his head slightly, Shizuo stood from to couch. “Y-yeah… I’ll get a spare blanket for you…”

Shizuo took his time finding a blanket while Izaya waited on the couch. Saika still stood next to him, but didn’t speak, for which Izaya was grateful.

When he returned to the room, Shizuo handed a large blanket to Izaya before setting a small space heater on the coffee table.

“It gets cold in here at night,” he said turning and walking away from Izaya, “I figured you’d get cold since you’re so scrawny.”

“Shizu-chan,” Izaya called before Shizuo could turn the corner, “uhh, thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” he mumbled after a few moments of silence.

Once Shizuo was gone, Izaya switched the heater on a low setting, and wrapped himself in the blanket he’d been given. Breathing in, he noticed the faint smell of cigarettes on the fabric, as well as something else that was a scent he could only describe as “Shizuo.”

He briefly wondered what might happen if Shizuo found out about Izaya’s feelings about him lately. He’d probably assume it was because he was insane.

Releasing a deep breath, Izaya relaxed as he continued to breathe in the comforting scent on the blanket, silently hoping it would be enough to replace his sleeping pills for the night.


	36. Chapter 36

Shizuo let out a small grumble as he looked over at the clock to see it was only 3:20 am. Knowing that Izaya was in his home was keeping him from sleeping as well as he normally did. Especially considering the man’s mental health was questionable.

And it was the same thought that had him getting up out of bed to go check on the sleeping informant.

Carefully making his way around his apartment, Shizuo avoided the spots on the floor he knew would creak if he were to step on them.

When he finally made it into the room, he paused at what he saw. Izaya was asleep, and it was in that moment that Shizuo realized he’d never seen Izaya sleep before. He was tightly curled up, barely taking up half of the couch with the blanket partly over his head. What struck Shizuo was the calm expression over the usually sinister face. He couldn’t help but wonder if Izaya always made that face when he was sleeping. Honestly, if someone were to tell him that the man on his couch wasn’t Orihara Izaya, Shizuo would have no problem believing them.

Izaya shifted under the blanket, making Shizuo hold his breath for a moment only to release it when he settled back into place without waking up.

Shizuo soon lost track of how long he’d been staring at Izaya. There was something about the way he slept that made him look much more… normal. Why couldn’t he be like this all the time? He’d never known Izaya was capable of being quiet for this long even in his sleep. In fact, Shizuo had often wondered if Izaya even slept at all. He could never picture it in his head, and now here it was in front of him!

However soon enough, Shizuo yawned into the back of his hand and decided it would be best to go back to bed, leaving Izaya to sleep in peace for now.

…~-~…

Saika sat on the unoccupied end of the couch as Izaya slept, watching the informant’s even breathing. It had been surprised at how easily Izaya had fallen asleep in a foreign place considering he was never able to do so in the past.

 _“Ah well…”_ Saika whispered. The only thing that mattered right now was that Izaya hadn’t taken any medication, meaning he was vulnerable to any pain Saika could give him. Saika let Izaya sleep for a few more hours before it decided it was done being nice.

 _“Wakey-wakey, Izaya!”_ Saika said, holding his hand out to send the pain sensors in Izaya’s brain into overdrive.

But nothing happened.

“ _What?!”_ Saika exclaimed, jumping to its feet and glaring down at Izaya. _“That should have worked!”_

Saika tried again, getting closer to Izaya this time.

Izaya didn’t even twitch.

Taking its seat on the couch, Saika crossed its arms over its chest. _“Well this isn’t fair. It would be much easier if_ _I could actually touch him to wake him up… But why isn’t it working…?”_

It was then that Saika heard a rustling from the room where Shizuo was. Moments later, the blonde was entering the room, looking directly through Saika at Izaya.

 _“Ah, Shizuo… How I wish I could have gotten your strength…”_ Saika said aloud. It wasn’t like Shizuo could hear its voice anyway. _“But what are you doing out here, I wonder…?”_

Saika raised a brow when Shizuo merely stood there for a few minutes, looking at Izaya.

 _“Don’t tell me the attraction is mutual!”_ Saika said looking between Shizuo and Izaya.

No… It doesn’t feel like any sort of love from Shizuo’s end.

But then why is he here?

After a minute or two, Shizuo sat on the ground and continued to watch Izaya sleep.

_“Izaya, why aren’t you waking up? You normally wouldn’t sleep through something like this…”_

And then Saika realized something.

The reason Izaya was sleeping so soundly, and the reason why Saika couldn’t wake him…

It was just like the case with Neikawa Haruna…

Izaya’s love for Shizuo was protecting him from Saika’s power.

Saika had been wrong. Shizuo might be Izaya’s weakness, but he was also his strength. The one person capable of giving Izaya the willpower he needs to keep Saika from taking over.

At least when there weren’t any other emotions in the way.

Saika recalled the pure fear Izaya had felt when he thought Shizuo was going to be killed as Saika held a gun to his head.

If Saika could somehow kill Shizuo, it would put a severe dent in Izaya’s will, and possibly allow Saika to take control.

Not that it wanted to use Izaya’s body, but whenever Saika could possess Izaya, it gave him a direct line to Izaya’s heart including his fears.

And that made Saika stronger.

But if Izaya learned that he could overpower Saika simply by acting on his love…

That could be problematic…

Izaya didn’t seem to realize this of course, but when he did…

_“Hopefully I’ll have my own body by then…”_

And until that happens, Saika would have to try his best to keep Izaya from acting too much on his love.

And maybe find a way to get Shizuo out of the picture in the process.

…~-~…

Izaya woke the next morning to a pale orange light entering the room as the sun began to rise. He blinked his eyes open, quickly remembering where he was and why.

There was currently no sign of Saika, or of Shizuo for that matter as Izaya sat up and switched the space heater off and began folding the blanket.

Carefully, Izaya crept towards Shizuo’s room where the door was slightly ajar. He was almost sure he’d heard the door close last night. Maybe Shizuo had gotten up?

When he looked inside, he saw that Shizuo was still in his bed, clearly asleep. Deciding he didn’t want to face the man first thing in the morning, Izaya went back into the living room and scrounged around for a piece of paper and a pen.

Leaving the note on top of the folded blanket, Izaya quickly found his clothes from the drier, got dressed, and headed out the door leaving the clothes he’d borrowed folded up next to the blanket.

…~-~…

Shizuo’s brow twitched when he realized that the Flea had already left by the time he woke up. Reaching for the note Izaya had left on top of the blanket, Shizuo began walking as he read, expecting some kind of sarcastic “Shizu-chan’s apartment smells like cigarettes” comment.

But he didn’t find that at all. Shizuo stopped walking dead in his tracks as his eyes scanned over the neatly written note.

_Shizu-chan,_

_I’d like to thank you for trying to help last night, but I’d rather not get you involved in this. Basically what I’m saying here is that we shouldn’t make a habit out of what happened last night. It’s not natural for us to be kind to each other, although I do appreciate it for the one night only. As strange as it may sound, I’m glad it was you that found me in that alley rather than anyone else._

_I’m sorry I can’t tell you the details of what’s happening with me, but I want you to know that I will deal with it in a timely fashion, and in the mean time, you shouldn’t worry about me scheming anything._

_Again, thank you for taking me in for the night. I’m sure I’ll be seeing you around._

_~Izaya_

Shizuo read the note through twice, trying to find the part where Izaya _wasn’t_ being completely sincere. He found nothing about the note that indicated Izaya was anything other than truly grateful.

Shaking his head, Shizuo threw the note over his shoulder as he finished getting ready to head out for work.

 


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... remember how I said this was written before season 2? Well... Season 2 spoilers for the second cour are in this chapter just a little bit since I was never expecting we would actually get a second season when I wrote this!!

Izaya was staring absentmindedly at the ceiling of his apartment, running his fingers through his hair as he tried to sort out his thoughts. He had only been home for an hour, but he hadn’t moved from the same spot.

He turned on his side to face away when Saika suddenly appeared kneeling next to the couch with its usual grin.

Curling up on the couch, Izaya closed his eyes and pressed his forehead into the cushioning on the back. He didn’t want to talk to anyone right now, especially Saika. In fact, he’d rather face Shizuo again than have to speak to the monster causing his pain.

 _“Someone’s in a bad mood.”_ Saika teased, leaning over Izaya’s shoulder to try and get a look at his face.

Izaya’s only response was a muffled groan.

Sitting back on its heels, Saika hummed lightly to itself for a moment. _“You know, he was watching you sleep last night…”_ it said after a few moments.

“I believe we had a conversation a while back in which I told you not to lie to me.” Izaya said into the back of the couch, refusing to meet Saika’s gaze.

 _“Who says I’m lying?”_ Saika asked, _“I mean it. He just sat there for nearly an hour. It was kind of creepy. At one point I actually wondered if maybe he was in love with you as well.”_

“…”

_“Oh? Not going to deny it anymore, I see?”_

Their conversation was cut short by a few light knocks on the door.

Izaya bolted upright on the couch, eyeing the door suspiciously. He wasn’t expecting anyone today. He’d even told Namie not to come in.

Could it be…?

No, if it was him, he’d have knocked much harder… Or maybe even torn the door down again.

Cautiously, Izaya looked through the peephole in the door. Recognizing the man he saw from descriptions given to him in the past, Izaya opened the door with a light smile plastered over his face.

“Akabayashi-san! This is rather unexpected. Please, come in!” Izaya stepped to one side to allow the older man inside. “I apologize for the mess. I haven’t been keeping up on my cleaning lately.”

“Ah, nothing to worry about, Orihara-san,” Akabayashi said with a smile, “Actually, that’s part of the reason for my being here unannounced.”

“What do you mean, Akabayashi-san?” Izaya asked, raising a brow.

“Shiki wanted Oi-chan to check up on you. He said you seemed off the last time he saw you, and he wanted Oi-chan to see how you’re doing before you have a chance to clean up and hide anything that might tell us otherwise.”

“I see… That does seem like something Shiki-san would do.” Izaya said with a light chuckle, “Please, have a seat and I’ll prepare some tea.”

“Tea won’t be necessary, Orihara-san,” he said, raising his hand to stop Izaya, “I don’t plan to intrude on you too long. Aside from checking up on you, I am also here to give you your next assignment.”

“But first,” Akabayashi continued after a short pause, “I have something more personal to ask you about.”

“Oh?”

“I heard the details about the meeting with the Nakamura-kai. Shiki said you were the one to point out that the traitors had red eyes.”

Izaya remained silent for a moment, unsure of where Akabayashi was going to take this conversation.

“Let me ask you this, Informant;” Akabayashi began, walking towards Izaya, “How much do you know about the Slasher?”

“That depends,” Izaya said, walking over to his desk, “Is there anything specific you are referring to?”

“Alright, let’s make this simple then,” Akabayashi began as he leaned on his cane, “Does the name ‘Saika’ ring a bell?”

“You know about Saika?” Izaya asked hesitantly when the demon itself appeared next to him with a warning look in its eyes.

Akabayashi nodded before bringing his cane up to point at the scar over his eye. “How do you think I got this?”

There was a short pause in Izaya’s movements as Akabayashi’s words clicked in his head.

“I was in love with a woman by the name of Sonohara Sayaka,” Akabayashi began, “As it turns out, she was possessed by a sword by the name of Saika, and long story short, that’s how I lost my eye.”

“That’s interesting and all, Akabayashi-san, but why are you telling me this?”

“Well, I wasn’t going to, but…” Smiling lightly, Akabayashi walked up to Izaya and bent down slightly so that they were face to face. “As soon as you opened the door I could feel it start to act up. Care to explain why that happened now when it’s never happened before?”

Izaya stiffened, franticly trying to come up with a lie that would get him out of this situation, but nothing came to mind.

“I…” Izaya tried to back away only to be stopped as Akabayashi rested his cane over Izaya’s shoulder with the handle holding his still by the back of his neck. “That information is confidential, Akabayashi-sa—Ah!”

Izaya stumbled forward when Akabayashi grabbed hold of his ear and sharply tugged it towards himself. He leaned in close and spoke quietly as he looked Izaya in the eyes with his one good eye.

“Listen to me, kid,” he began, “if you’re as smart as I know you are, you’ll know not to lie to me about this. Now tell me, have you had some form of contact with Saika?”

In his peripheral vision, Izaya caught a glimpse of Saika standing behind Akabayashi. The red warning glow of Saika’s eyes perfectly matching the red of Akabayashi’s shirt. Izaya quickly decided who the bigger threat was at the moment as he chose his words carefully.

“I was not slashed, if that’s what you mean, but…” Izaya spared a millisecond glance into Saika’s eyes before shifting back to Akabayashi’s. “Yes. I have had contact with Saika.”

The painful tugging on his ear ended abruptly as Akabayashi released him.

“That’s all I wanted to hear.” he said, resting his cane over his own shoulder.

“’That’s all’?” Izaya repeated, taken aback for a moment as he checked to make sure his ear was still attached to his head. It was.

“I’m not going to pry into your personal life,” he began with a shrug, “but knowing what Saika can do, I wanted to warn you to be careful. You are still very useful to the Awakusu-kai.”

“Don’t worry, I’m fully aware of that.” Izaya said with a light smile.

Looking past Akabayashi, Izaya looked to see what Saika was up to only to find it had already disappeared. He chose to ignore it for now in favor of continuing the conversation.

“So if that’s all you have to say about Saika, then let’s move on, shall we?” Izaya suggested.

“Ah, right,” Akabayashi snapped his fingers as if he had just remembered why he’d been there. “The Awakusu-kai has noticed some strange movements within certain branches of Meidei group. We’d like you to look into this and give a detailed report on what they’ve been up to whether it’s suspicious or not. There’s not really a deadline; however, Shiki said he would like you to contact him every time you find something new on the topic.”

“Sounds simple enough.”

“Let’s hope it is.” Akabayashi stated, “If something is wrong this time, I can’t guarantee Shiki will be so forgiving. You got lucky I hope you know.”

“My information wasn’t wrong,” Izaya said quietly, “I just wasn’t as thorough as I should have been. But I know I was lucky. I’ll be much more careful this time.”

“Good. And I suggest you pull yourself together. This place is a mess. But Oi-chan will tell Shiki everything is in perfect order as long as you make sure nothing goes wrong this time. Got that?”

“I will. Thank you, Akabayashi-san.”

Akabayashi left with a quick nod in reply.

Almost immediately after his leaving, Saika appeared directly in front of Izaya’s face, its eyes glowing brighter than ever.

 _“I thought you would have known better than to tell him about me.”_ it said sternly.

“I didn’t tell him everything, and I wasn’t going to, so calm down.” Izaya responded, holding his hands up as if to surrender.

_“No. I’m sick of you dropping hints to everyone. No one can help you, so stop trying to find someone. You need to learn your place.”_

“ _I_ need to know my place?!” Izaya blurted out, “No, I think _you_ do! Besides,” Izaya’s next words were mumbled, more meant to be heard only by himself, “Shizu-chan could help me.”

 _“What did you just say?!”_ Saika yelled, causing a sudden stabbing pain to fill Izaya’s head. _“Don’t even think about going to him for help!”_

“Y-you’re afraid of him, aren’t you…?” Izaya said through gritted teeth as his head began to feel as if it was being torn in two.

_“You just don’t understand, do you? There is no way for you to stop me. I’m still getting stronger every day.”_

Izaya lifted his head up just in time to see one of his kitchen knives floating above Saika’s hand.

“You won’t do it.” Izaya stated, “You still need me.”

 _“Who says I was going to_ kill _you?”_

His eyes widened when the blade flew towards him. Out of reflex, he tried to shield his torso and face with his arms only to feel pain tear down his arm as the bloodied knife clattered to the floor.

“Ah! Fuck!” Izaya cursed as he gripped his left forearm which was bleeding heavily. Shooting a glare at Saika who was also cradling its own arm to its chest (though it wasn’t bleeding), Izaya quickly ran into the bathroom where he kept his first aid kit.

The cut was quite deep. He bit his lip, realizing that it was deep enough to require stitches. He stepped out to get his phone from his desk only to find that Saika already held the device out of his reach.

_“You’re not calling Shinra, or anyone else right now. Deal with your own pain for once.”_

“Saika, I…” Izaya swallowed hard, “I need stitches for this. It’s bleeding too much.”

_“You’re going to have to figure something else out. I’m not letting you off this easy.”_

“Damn it, Saika!” he yelled as he began pulling open one of his desk drawers where he kept a small sewing kit. He’d never really used the thing, but if Saika wasn’t giving him any options, then he’d have to stitch the wound himself.

Ignoring the fact that he was getting blood everywhere, Izaya went back into the bathroom where he began sterilizing the needle along with the cut itself. He hissed when the disinfectant touched the wound, causing the pain to grow worse.

After much difficulty, Izaya managed to thread the needle, but by the time he brought it to the wound, his hands were shaking violently. He tried to hold them still so that he could get it over with, but as the time passed, they only shook more.

His bathroom was now covered in his own blood as it continued to drip from his arm. Taking a few slow deep breaths, Izaya tried to calm himself enough to focus on keeping his hand steady while Saika stood in the doorway.

 _“You really_ are _insane.”_ Saika teased.

“Be quiet. I’m trying to focus here.” Izaya breathed.

Once his hand was a bit steadier, he began pushing the needle through his skin, and carefully began stitching the cut. The edges of the wound were already numb enough that it didn’t hurt as much as he’d expected.

After finally finishing the stitches, cleaning the wound one more time, and wrapping a bandage around his forearm, Izaya took a moment to rest. He was feeling a bit dizzy, not to mention nauseous, but other than that, he felt okay.

He stood up slowly, leaning on the edge of the sink to keep himself balanced while he began washing the blood from his hands. Saika stepped to the side as he approached the door, and headed for the kitchen where he poured himself a glass of orange juice.

When he was finished, he grabbed some of his cleaning supplies and began cleaning the blood that had dripped on the floor and all over the bathroom. Once he had cleaned everything up, he picked up the knife. There was a small amount of blood on it as well.

Izaya stood to bring the knife back to the kitchen when he suddenly felt Saika’s presence flood his senses.

It was angry.

And that anger made it stronger. Strong enough that Izaya could feel it start to take over his mind.

“Stop it now, Saika.” Izaya commanded.

_“Or what?”_

He didn’t have an answer for that. Instead, he tried his best to block Saika with sheer willpower. And when that didn’t seem to be enough, Izaya switched strategies. Saika had left his phone on his desk. If he could grab it and call someone for help…

If he could call Shizuo…

Screw the note he’d left for Shizuo this morning. He needed the man’s help.

It was then that Izaya noticed Saika’s hold over him begin to diminish. Without a second thought, Izaya seized the opportunity to grab his phone and head out the door, pulling his coat on as he went.

He winced as he stretched his wounded arm too much, but the pain didn’t matter to him.

He couldn’t face Saika alone. He needed someone to help him.

And not just anyone.

He needed Shizuo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ehem... This was my first time writing Akabayashi based on what I knew about him from the novels before season 2. In the novel he occasionally refers to himself as "Oi-chan" though he hasn't done so in the anime adaption as of yet.


	38. Chapter 38

Shizuo stood waiting to cross the street on his way home. He and Tom had finished work early, allowing Shizuo to have a day to himself. Besides, it wasn’t like he’d been very focused today anyway. His mind was constantly going back to the note he’d found that morning, and the man who had written it.

Clearly something was very wrong with Izaya. There was no denying that fact. But what perturbed Shizuo the most was the way that Izaya was refusing to talk about it, or accept any help for that matter. It only made Shizuo even more curious about the situation.

Was Izaya really insane? Or was there some semblance of truth in his difficult-to-swallow story?

The only way he could be sure was to get the answers straight from the informant’s mouth; however, said informant wasn’t willing to do so.

“Shizu-chan!”

Shizuo stopped mid-step at the voice that called after him. It was definitely Izaya’s voice, but it didn’t sound the same as it usually did. It sounded almost… desperate.

He was about to turn around when Izaya simply ran around the front of him as if to stop him from walking any further.

“Shizu-chan. I was looking for you.” he said, sounding like he was out of breath.

“What for?” Shizuo questioned.

“I… I have to talk to you about something.” Izaya said quietly, “Will you come get lunch with me? My treat.”

“I thought you said we should go back to normal.” Shizuo pointed out.

“Yeah, well… I changed my mind.” Izaya said lowering his gaze to look at his feet, “I need your help.”

…~-~…

They currently sat in a private room in Russia Sushi, both receiving their orders by a confused, yet happy Simon.

“Fighting bad. Making friendship good. You eat sushi and be happy.”

“Thanks, Simon.” Izaya said quietly.

Shizuo watched as Izaya lightly poked at his sushi, showing no signs of actually eating it any time soon.

“So what is all of this about, anyway?” Shizuo asked.

“Like I said,” Izaya began, “I need your help.”

“Why do you think I’d agree to help you?” Shizuo pointed out.

“You agreed to come here with me, didn’t you? If you were completely against the idea, you would have refused.”

Shizuo had to admit, Izaya had a point. Although it wasn’t really the request itself that had piqued his curiosity, but rather the fact that something had caused Izaya to change his mind in only a few hours. He’d seen a new side of Izaya in that note, and the way Izaya had asked for his help—as if his life depended on it—wasn’t like the Izaya he knew at all.

“This doesn’t have anything to do with some shady yakuza shit, does it?” Shizuo asked.

“No, no. Nothing like that.” Izaya said quickly, “I just… I need your help with something that I… that I can’t do on my own.”

“Are you still hearing voices?” Shizuo questioned, lowering his voice.

Izaya looked at him for a moment with his mouth slightly open as if he was about to speak, but couldn’t get the words out.

“Y-yes,” he finally said after a long pause.

“If it’s about that, then the only help I can offer is walking you to the hospital.”

“I already told you, _I’m not insane_!” Izaya exclaimed, “Would you just listen to me?”

To say he was hesitant would be an understatement, but Izaya seemed very adamant about whatever this was.

“Fine. Tell me.” Shizuo said after a moment, “What do I have to do to help you?”

“I… I don’t know exactly… All I know is that you’re the only one who can help.”

His eyebrow twitched in anger, yet he was able to remain calm for the time being.

“And you still won’t tell me exactly what’s going on?” Shizuo asked.

“At this point, I’m actually afraid of what it might do to me if I do…” Izaya replied.

Shizuo let out a small laugh at that.

“Sorry,” Shizuo said after he was given a sharp glare from across the table, “It’s just that it’s hard for me to imagine you being afraid of anything.”

“Yeah, well…” Izaya trailed off as his eyes moved to look to his right.

Shizuo followed Izaya’s gaze, but didn’t see anything there that he could possibly be looking at. And the look on his face was almost… anger?

‘Is he hallucinating that there’s someone there?’ Shizuo wondered.

Currently, Shizuo still couldn’t believe that Izaya was completely right in the head. After all, Izaya still hadn’t given him any adequate reason to believe otherwise. However, the way Izaya stared to his right… It almost looked as if he were trying to communicate something.

“So,” Shizuo said, clearing his throat in hopes that it would bring Izaya’s focus back, “are you going to eat your lunch or just poke at it?”

Izaya blinked a few times as he turned his gaze back to Shizuo before looking down at his plate.

“I’m not really hungry…” he murmured before picking up a piece and studying it, “But I suppose I should eat anyway, huh?”

Shizuo watched as Izaya ate a single piece of his ootoro when something else caught his attention.

“Flea, what’s that?” he asked, gesturing to Izaya’s left arm. There was a bit of white showing from inside the sleeve of his coat. It looked like a bandage was wrapped around his arm.

“Hm? Ah, that’s nothing to worry about.” Izaya responded, “I just had a bit of an accident earlier is all. It’s fine.”

“What kind of accident?” he asked skeptically, “Can I take a look?”

“I just got a small cut. Really, it’s nothing.”

The more Izaya pressed that it was nothing, the more Shizuo didn’t believe him.

“Flea, just let me see it.” he demanded.

“No.” Izaya replied flatly, “At least… Not here…”

Once again, Izaya’s eyes looked to his right, but they didn’t remain there for long.

Shizuo clenched his fists and took a few deep breaths to keep himself calm. “Fine,” he said after a moment, “Why don’t you get your food boxed up and I’ll just walk you home then.”

He didn’t have time to stop his words before they came out, and now he and Izaya stared at each other, too stunned to speak for a few moments.

Why did he just suggest that? He hadn’t even thought about it before speaking. It was merely the first thing that came to his mind.

“Shizu-chan…?” Izaya questioned, looking even more surprised at the sudden suggestion, “Are you sure about that…?”

“Y-yeah.” he mumbled, not sure as to why he didn’t take it back as soon as the words left his mouth.

…~-~…

Looking around the Flea’s apartment, it was obvious that there was something amiss. To put it bluntly, the place was a mess. The last time he’d been here, everything was in fairly decent order, but now there were books, papers, and files scattered over every surface.

Shizuo watched as Izaya headed into the kitchen where he placed his meal in the refrigerator. When he turned to continue surveying the room, he saw it.

Laying on the floor near Izaya’s desk was a kitchen knife with what appeared to be a small amount of blood on it.

‘He couldn’t have… could he…?’ Shizuo found himself thinking as he briskly followed Izaya into the kitchen and grabbed hold of his left wrist.

“Ow, Shizu-chan!” Izaya winced as Shizuo gripped his injured arm and pulled the sleeve up over it.

There was a small amount of blood on the bandage, meaning the cut was recent.

“Shizu-chan, what are you doing?!” Izaya exclaimed as Shizuo pulled him over to the desk.

As they grew closer, a look of realization spread over Izaya’s face, even more so when Shizuo stopped and pointed at the knife on the ground.

“I-It’s not what it looks like.” Izaya said, trying to pull his arm free.

“Do you mind explaining what happened then?”

Shizuo carefully observed Izaya’s expression as he fought to come up with what would undoubtedly be another lie to cover up whatever it was he was going through.

Yes, he _expected_ Izaya to lie to him; however, the look on Izaya’s face told him otherwise. Izaya seemed as if he actually wanted to tell the truth, but something was holding him back from doing so.

So instead, he kept silent and turned his head to break eye contact with Shizuo.

“Are you going to let me take a look at this now?” Shizuo asked, tugging lightly on Izaya’s arm.

Izaya didn’t respond, prompting Shizuo to begin pulling the medical tape off of the end of the bandage.


	39. Chapter 39

Shizuo held Izaya’s arm in place with one hand, while carefully un-bandaging it with the other to reveal a gash down Izaya’s arm that was about three to four inches in length. The wound was stitched back together, but what struck Shizuo was the unprofessional look of the stitches. He wouldn’t go as far as to say they were messy, but it definitely didn’t look like the work of a doctor. Even so, they still did their job well enough.

“Who did you get to give you the stitches, Flea? Definitely doesn’t look like Shinra.”

“I uhh… I did it myself…” Izaya responded in nearly a whisper.

“You _WHAT?!_ ” Shizuo yelled.

“I didn’t have any choice in the matter!” Izaya explained, “It cut me with the knife, and took my phone so I couldn’t call anyone! And I wasn’t about to go running to a hospital! I had to stop the bleeding first or else I might have passed out on the street or something!”

“You might have passed out here too. With no one around. Then what would you have done?!”

Izaya averted his gaze yet again in response. Shizuo sighed, deciding not to dwell on that detail.

“So tell me again how this happened?” he asked, finally letting go of Izaya’s arm.

“It cut me and—“

“And by ‘it’, you mean the voice in your head?” Shizuo asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Y-yes…” Izaya now looked behind Shizuo as he spoke. He was staring at something with an almost frightened look in his eye.

Shizuo turned to follow Izaya’s stare, but couldn’t see whatever Izaya was looking at.

“Is it standing there?”

Izaya nodded, not taking his eyes off of the spot.

It was strange seeing Izaya like this, but it didn’t seem like there was really anything he could do for the informant. So he decided to lead Izaya over to the couch and have him sit down while he brought the knife into the kitchen, and began a search to find Izaya’s first aid kit.

The search didn’t last long when Shizuo stepped into the bathroom to find that the kit was already out on the bathroom counter. He grabbed some bandages and disinfectant before heading back over to where he left Izaya.

…~-~…

Izaya allowed himself to be lead away from Saika and over to the couch. Shizuo was asking too many questions, and his answers were clearly upsetting Saika. It kept glaring at him with those red eyes as if it were waiting to strike.

In all honesty, Izaya was afraid to actually say its name in front of Shizuo, just in case it suddenly decided to attack him because of that.

 _“Get him out of here. Now.”_ Saika demanded, locking eyes with Izaya.

‘No.’ Izaya communicated with Saika in his mind so he wouldn’t attract Shizuo’s attention. ‘I want him here.’

_“Damn it, I didn’t want to have to do this…”_

“Ah—“ Izaya leaned forward, gripping his hair as a sudden sharp pain developed in the front of his head. He tried will the pain away, but it seemed that wasn’t happening as usual.

“Izaya?!” Shizuo called out dropping everything he was carrying on the couch, “Izaya, are you okay?!”

Izaya could feel warm hands on his shoulders as he opened his eyes to see Shizuo kneeling in front of him with a concerned look in his eyes.

He’d never seen that look on Shizuo before. It was almost as if he actually cared…

‘Shizuo, I’m sorry,’ Izaya thought to himself, ‘but I need to lean on you right now.’

Moving his hands so that they held his own waist, Izaya moved forward to rest his head on Shizuo’s shoulder, lightly inhaling that scent that was just so obviously _Shizuo_.

It was then that he realized that the longer he stayed like this, the less his head hurt.

‘Shizuo, please…’

‘Don’t push me away…’

‘Let me stay like this…’

As those thoughts ran through his head, Izaya moved his body closer to Shizuo’s, noticing that the blonde hadn’t moved his hands from where they had originally been placed.

“I-Izaya…?” he said quietly, “What are you doing?”

“Please,” he found himself saying aloud, “just… just let me…”

Izaya trailed off when he felt Shizuo’s arms slowly wrap around him. One arm was along his shoulders while the other lightly held his waist, pulling him a bit closer. Izaya let himself relax against Shizuo as the pain continued to dissipate, finally beginning to feel comfortable again after months of stress and sleep deprivation.

Sitting here as he was… It was the best he’d felt in quite some time.

“You gonna be okay…?” Shizuo whispered, the voice so close to Izaya’s ear that it sent a pleasant tingle down his spine.

Izaya nodded, wondering how much longer he could make this feeling last. He could sit like this for hours, but deep down he knew Shizuo was very uncomfortable with this situation.

And so, Izaya reluctantly pulled away once he was sure the pain wasn’t going to return. He leaned back on the couch, taking a quick glance around the room to find that Saika was gone.

“Was that a migraine or something…?” Shizuo asked, standing up again.

“Yeah,” Izaya mumbled, “Sorry about that… It was probably a bit awkward for you, huh?”

“Uhh, yeah, well… If it helped you, I mean… I kind of agreed to help with whatever’s going on when I offered to take you home so…”

Izaya didn’t miss the faint ( _very_ faint) blush that had appeared on Shizuo’s face as he spoke. Normally he would have commented on it, but he wasn’t feeling up to it at the moment.

Instead, he watched as Shizuo took a seat on the couch next to him, and picked up the bottle of disinfectant he’d dropped.

“Since it’s a fresh cut you should probably have it cleaned again…” Shizuo pointed out, pouring a decent amount of the liquid on a cotton ball, “Can I see your arm?”

Izaya let his injured arm drop into Shizuo’s hand, hissing as the disinfectant touched the wound.

“ _Fuck_ that hurts…” he said through gritted teeth, forcing himself to stay still.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” Shizuo questioned as he picked up the fresh dressing.

“Go ahead.” Izaya replied.

“I was just wondering… You didn’t… You didn’t do this to yourself, did you…?”

“Wh- _what_?!” Izaya exclaimed, “Do I look like the type who would do something like _that_?!”

“Well, does anyone who does actually ‘look like the type’?” Shizuo pointed out, “Never mind, don’t think too much of it. I was just wondering, that’s all.”

They fell silent as Shizuo continued to re-wrap Izaya’s arm, while Izaya watched, mesmerized by how gentle Shizuo was being. Now that he thought about it, the way he’d wrapped his arms around him just a few moments ago was very gentle as well.

He’d heard from Celty that Shizuo was actually a nice person when he wasn’t fuming with rage, but until now, he’d never experienced it. Izaya smiled at the care Shizuo took to avoid directly touching the injury as he worked to repair the damage Saika had done.

He wanted to tell Shizuo. He wanted to tell him everything. But what if when he did, Saika’s anger gave it enough strength to attack—and maybe even kill—the man sitting before him.

Izaya suppressed a shudder at the thought. It seemed that until he found Saika’s weakness, he wouldn’t be able to reveal everything to Shizuo. In fact, with how angry Saika was, he was beginning to fear he’d already said too much for Saika to allow.

“There,” Shizuo said, taping off the end of the bandage, “That’s not too tight, is it?”

“No, it’s fine.” Izaya replied quietly.

“Okay. Well then, if that’s all I can help you with for today then… I guess I’ll just…”

As Shizuo stood to leave, some sort of signal went through Izaya. If he were to leave, Izaya would be alone with Saika again.

And a very angry Saika at that.

Instinctively, Izaya reached out and grabbed on to the sleeve of Shizuo’s shirt, causing the blonde to turn towards him with a questioning look on his face.

“Shizuo… I …. Stay.”

“What?”

“I… Don’t want to be alone tonight…” Izaya admitted.

“Damn it, Flea, it’s all in your head.” Shizuo said, trying to comfort him. “Don’t worry about it, okay?”

“No, that’s the problem! It _was_ only in my head, but now I’m not so sure. It’s… It’s getting too strong for me to stop it…”

Shizuo pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, he looked Izaya up and down a few times.

“Fine… I’ll stay.” he said flatly, moving to sit back on the couch, “But I’m not sleeping in your bed with you.”

“I have a spare room and a futon upstairs if you want…”

“Uhh… Okay. That’s fine I guess.” Shizuo replied.

“Hey, Shizu-chan…?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry.”

Shizuo blinked a few times, as if he was processing Izaya’s words. “For what?”

“For acting so strange.” he responded, “I’m not doing this on purpose or anything, nor am I going crazy… Well, maybe I am a bit, but not in the way that you’re thinking—“

“Hey,” Shizuo cut in, “Don’t worry about it. I mean… You’ve been fairly sincere with me lately, so… I guess that means you really do need my help. I don’t really understand, but… I guess I can help as long as you promise not to piss me off anymore.”

“That’s quite the promise, Shizu-chan,” Izaya said with a smile, “Doesn’t seeing my face do that on its own?”

“Well, it used to… But recently, not so much.” Shizuo admitted.

“Hm?”

“I mean, normally I’d think you were just playing some elaborate prank on me or something, but… I guess you could say instinct is telling me you’re serious.”

“Thank you. Your instincts truly are something to behold.” Izaya said with a smile.

“Yeah, well…” Shizuo smiled as well, “My instinct still isn’t good enough to tell me how to help you, so you’d better let me know soon.”

“I’m working on that.”

A few hours passed in which Shizuo began watching a movie on television, and Izaya had begun doing a bit of research on the job Akabayashi had given him. Granted, it didn’t take too long before Izaya grew tired, and so he made his way to the kitchen where he kept his sleeping pills.

He grabbed a glass of water and a few pieces of the ootoro he hadn’t eaten earlier and took the medication as he had been doing.

“What’s that?” Shizuo asked over his shoulder. Izaya hadn’t even noticed him move from the couch.

“Hm? Oh. It’s a sleep-aid. I’ve needed to take them recently…”

“How come?” Shizuo asked.

“The uhh… the voice… tries to keep me awake.” Izaya explained, “So I have to take these to counteract it.”

“Ah, okay…” Shizuo nodded, “So you bought those that day when I saw you in the park then…?”

“Yes.”

“And you’ve been taking them every night since then?”

“Just about, yeah.” Izaya confirmed.

“Then why did you sleep so well at my place?”

“I’m still trying to figure that one out.” Izaya replied, “But I have a feeling it’s not going to let me sleep tonight unless I take one of these stupid things.” he shook the bottle in his hand as he referred to the pills.

“Alright, I guess. Just don’t overdose on them...”

Izaya only laughed in response.

…~-~…

Later that night, Shizuo lay on the futon in Izaya’s spare bedroom, wondering why he agreed to stay in the first place. It was true that he was curious about what was going on with Izaya, but going as far as to stay the night?

But the way Izaya spoke…

He knew the man really wanted him to stay for some reason…

_-“No, that’s the problem! It was only in my head, but now I’m not so sure. It’s… It’s getting too strong for me to stop it…”_

He wondered exactly what Izaya meant by those words. He’d almost sounded fearful when he said them.

_CRASH_

Shizuo jolted up at the loud sound that cut through the silence.

“What the hell?”

It sounded like something broke.

“Damn it, Izaya!” Shizuo grumbled as he shoved the covers to the side and ran in the direction of the noise.

‘What did you do this time?’


	40. Chapter 40

Izaya yawned into his hand as he stood up from his bed. He’d woken up and realized he was thirsty, and after a few minutes, he decided to get up to get some water.

Not having the energy to go downstairs, Izaya headed for his bathroom instead. He rubbed his eyes when he flicked on the light switch, waiting for his eyes to adjust to the brightness. He then turned the cold water on in the sink and grabbed the cup he kept on the corner.

He took a few large gulps to satisfy his thirst before replacing the cup on the sink. When he lifted his head to look into the mirror, he wasn’t surprised to see Saika standing behind him as it usually did.

What did surprise him however was the unusual brightness of its eyes as it stepped up closer behind him. Izaya shivered when Saika placed its hand on his shoulder in the mirror. As usual, he couldn’t feel the touch, but he knew it was there. He was torn between waiting to see what Saika would do, and running away before it could do it.

But before he could make his decision, Saika brought its fist back and punched the air in front of it. However instead of only hitting air, Izaya had to react quickly when the mirror suddenly shattered, sending shards of glass flying out towards him. Izaya covered his eyes as he jumped back only to meet the resistance of the wall behind him.

Once he was sure it was over with, Izaya opened his eyes to see one particularly sharp and large shard of mirror hovering just in front of his chest—precisely where his heart was.

Izaya held his breath as he stared at the piece of glass, and then shifted his gaze forward to look at Saika. It stood in front of him, extending its hand to manipulate the shard of glass. They stood like that for a moment before Saika slowly lowered its hand, allowing the glass to fall to the ground.

Izaya copied the motion as well when his legs gave out and he slipped down the wall until he was seated on the floor with his knees to his chest.

And that was how Shizuo found him when he walked in.

Shizuo’s eyes scanned the small room seeing the trail of glass strewn across the floor. At the end of the destruction, Izaya sat curled up against the wall. His shoulders shook slightly as he hid his face between his knees.

“Izaya?” Shizuo asked hesitantly, “What the hell…?”

Izaya jumped slightly when he felt Shizuo’s hand on his shoulder as he continued his questioning.

“Are you hurt? Say something!”

He was afraid.

Afraid and angry.

He was afraid of Saika, and of its abilities, and pissed that he couldn’t hurt it back.

After that display and the whole thing with the knife earlier, Izaya was terrified of the threat Saika now posed to his life.

What if Saika finds a way to get its own body? Will it kill him when it does? How long does he have before that happens? Will Saika find a way to destroy him without harming itself before Izaya had a chance to do the same?

As these questions flashed through Izaya’s mind, he could feel himself begin to shake.

He didn’t know what to do.

“Izaya!”

Shizuo now knelt directly in front of him, lifting his chin up so he could look him in the eye.

“Shizu-chan…?” Izaya whispered.

“I’m right here. Can you tell me what happened?”

Shizuo lightly brushed his thumb over Izaya’s cheek. It was only then that Izaya realized he was crying. From fear or anger he didn’t know, but when Shizuo moved in a bit closer, Izaya leaned forward, allowing Shizuo’s arms to wrap around his shoulders.

He buried his head in the crook of Shizuo’s neck as he tried to calm himself down. As a few more tears fell down his face, Izaya bit his lip to keep himself quiet.

Shizuo wasn’t supposed to see him like this.

No one was.

“Shh… calm down. You’re okay…” Shizuo whispered as if he were speaking to a child.

And he might as well be when the only thing Izaya could do in response let out a few shuddering breaths as he clung harder to the man in front of him.

“Do you have any bandages up here?”

Izaya nodded slightly and gestured towards the cabinet under the sink. He allowed Shizuo to let go so that he could search the cabinet before he actually began to pay attention to his injuries.

There were only a couple minor cuts and scratches, mostly on his arms with a few other small scrapes on his legs. But the worst spot was his right hand. Izaya’s eyes widened when he realized what Saika had done. His knuckles were bleeding, and the cuts were all in places he’d be able to reach easily.

‘That son of a bitch made it look like I did this myself!’ Izaya thought, staring at his right hand.

Izaya’s eyes snapped back up when Shizuo took his hand and began disinfecting the cut.

“Shizuo,” Izaya said quietly, “I… I didn’t do this…”

“It’s okay, I understand.” Shizuo responded.

“No, really. I know it looks like I broke it, but I really didn’t! You have to listen to me.”

“I know, I know. Just calm down for a minute so I can do this.”

Izaya sighed, knowing that Shizuo had plenty of reason to not believe him. The evidence was all there, and he couldn’t hide it, or explain it without revealing the truth.

And so, Izaya sat patiently while Shizuo patched him up, noticing how Shizuo was just as gentle as he had been earlier.

When he was finished, Shizuo stood up, offering his hand to Izaya. “C’mon, let’s get you back to bed.”

Izaya accepted Shizuo’s help, beginning to feel as if he was safe from Saika when Shizuo was around. After all, Saika did tend to disappear whenever the blonde showed up.

Wait…

Saika _did_ disappear when Shizuo showed up.

And when he’d been in Shizuo’s apartment… He’d been focused on the scent of the blanket over him before he fell asleep, and Saika hadn’t bothered him that night.

“There,” Shizuo said as Izaya sat on the edge of the bed, “We can just take care of that mess in the morning, okay?”

Izaya found himself nodding, as he moved himself further on to his bed.

“So I guess I’ll let you get back to sleep now.”

Izaya’s gaze lifted when he realized Shizuo was turning to leave.

He didn’t want him to go yet.

What if Saika attacked him again as soon as he left?

“Shizuo, wait.”

“What is it?” Shizuo asked, turning towards Izaya.

“Don’t leave.” he practically whispered the words, nervous as to how Shizuo would react to his clinginess.

But he couldn’t help it.

He was too afraid to be alone right now.

And it seems he’d been right when he assumed Shizuo would be the only one who could help him.

Shizuo sighed as he headed back towards Izaya, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. “So are you going to tell me why you’re so scared?”

“I can’t,” Izaya replied, “Just… I don’t want to be alone right now…”

“Alright… Fine.” Shizuo said running his fingers through his hair. He probably needed a cigarette right about now.

Izaya moved to make more room as Shizuo maneuvered himself so that his legs were stretched out on the bed next to Izaya’s.

“I thought you said I wouldn’t have to be in bed with you.” Shizuo pointed out.

“I’m sorry,” Izaya began, “It’s just that… well… It seems to leave me alone when you’re around…”

“Really?” Shizuo asked, sounding curious, “Any clues as to why?”

“I… uhh… I do have an idea, yes…” Izaya said hesitantly.

Did he really want to say this now? Would it help? Would Shizuo simply be so shocked that he’d leave not only the room, but the entire apartment?

“Go on…” Shizuo pressed.

Izaya looked at the man next to him. He didn’t want to see him leave, but at this point it would just be better to get his feelings out in the open.

“This might sound strange, but…”

“You know what, Izaya?” Shizuo cut in, “At this point, you’ve used that phrase enough that I doubt anything else will sound strange coming from you. So just get to the point, okay?”

“I’m not so sure about that, Shizu-chan. This one might take the cake.”

“Try me.” Shizuo challenged.

“I…”

He just had to say it.

Just get it out in the open, and out of the way.

“I love you.”


	41. Chapter 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry but I am crazy about fluff. I love reading fluff, writing fluff--fluff is the best. This chapter is fluff.

_-He just had to say it._

_-Just get it out in the open, and out of the way._

_-“I love you.”_

Shizuo stared at Izaya, his mouth dropping open slightly in shock as if he wanted to respond, but couldn’t think of what to say.

“Ah, sorry, that was a bit sudden, wasn’t it?” Izaya said, turning his head in the opposite direction, “I’ve… never really had to have this conversation with someone before.”

“Izaya, what are you—?!“

“I know this isn’t a good time to tell you, but… I just wanted to get it out in the open before I could think of a reason not to tell you. So there it is.”

“I…” Shizuo was dumbfounded, “You can’t be serious…”

Izaya’s breath caught in his throat for a second when Shizuo stood from the bed and began walking—‘Is he really leaving just like that?’—only for a bit of relief to settle when he turned back around and began pacing. He was likely trying to stay calm.

“I am serious.” Izaya said with a small nod. He felt satisfied to finally say those words that had been eating away at him for so long, but at the same time, he now feared the continuation of the conversation. Maybe he should have picked a better time, but still, he knew that if he had waited any longer, he never would have been able to convince himself to say it.

Shizuo quickly walked back over and placed his hand over Izaya’s forehead. “Hm… No fever…”

“Shizuo, I mean it.” Izaya said, lightly batting Shizuo’s hand away.

“Izaya, I’m sure you can understand why I’m having trouble believing that this is how you really feel…”

“So far you haven’t really believed anything I’ve told you.” Izaya pointed out, “But, well… I’ve been thinking over the past few months… and well… That’s how I feel…”

“I hope you realize how serious of a statement that is Izaya,” Shizuo began, “We’ve been enemies since high school… I just… I don’t understand how you suddenly decided that…”

“I could say the same about you inviting me to spend the night at your apartment.”

“That’s different, Flea.” Shizuo said sternly, “You weren’t well, and I was just doing what any other person would have done.”

“No, you weren’t.” Izaya said, “Any other person who saw their enemy suffering in the streets would either leave them to die, or finish them off. Not only did you stop to see if I was okay, but you took me in to your home and gave me something to eat. No normal person is that kind-hearted in this day and age.”

“W-was that supposed to be a complement or something…?” Shizuo asked, a bit taken aback.

“Sort of, yes.” Izaya replied, “But getting back to the conversation at hand, I want you to know that I have put a lot of thought into exactly what my feelings for you are. I realized that it’s possible that my interest in you over the years runs deeper than I’d realized. I’m not even sure if what I felt when we met was real hatred. It was more of a curiosity to see how far I could push you. But recently, well… I’m having trouble even doing that. As odd as it sounds, I believe I have come to develop feelings towards you. Do you understand?”

“I guess… I mean, it’s not _completely_ unheard of…” Shizuo said, looking up at the ceiling, “But what if I don’t feel the same way?”

“That’s fine. I’m not asking you to return my feelings. I understand that would be very difficult—if not impossible—for you to get over your hatred of me. I only wanted to let you know the truth.”

“Hold on now,” Shizuo said, “who says it would be impossible?”

Izaya stared blankly at Shizuo for a moment. “What do you mean…?”

“Well,” he began, sitting back on the bed, “you’re not exactly as annoying as you were before… And well… If you’re gonna stop messing with my life… It would make it a bit easier to get along with you.”

Izaya smiled at that. “Thanks for taking this so well, Shizu-chan.” he said with a yawn as he began to make himself a bit more comfortable.

He let his head tip slightly to the side so that it rested against Shizuo’s shoulder. “Ah, is this okay?” Izaya asked, realizing that this position might not be as comfortable for Shizuo as it was for him.

“It’s fine I guess…” Shizuo said, “Are you gonna go back to sleep now?”

“I think so, yeah.”

“Did you… uhh… Did you want me to… to stay?” he asked hesitantly.

“Could you…?” Izaya asked, suddenly remembering that he didn’t want to be alone.

“Yeah, okay. I’m just glad you’ve calmed down now.”

“About that… Shizu-chan… It really wasn’t me…”Izaya turned to lie on his side as he spoke.

“I know,” Shizuo replied, lying down as well, “I don’t really understand it, but… Were you scared…?”

Izaya hesitated before nodding. “And a bit angry I suppose.”

A moment later, Shizuo closed the gap between them, pulling Izaya into his arms, and letting his head rest against his chest. He was a bit shocked at first that Shizuo would willingly comfort him in such a way, but at the moment, he didn’t care enough the dwell on the thought. For now, he simply decided to enjoy the way that Shizuo’s body pressed against his—one warm arm draped over his waist while the other hand held the back of his head.

It was such a simple thing. People lay in bed like this all the time.

But Izaya never had.

He’d never shared his bed with another person in this way before, nor had he ever allowed anyone to hold him in such a soothing way.

He needed this.

Releasing the breath he hadn’t even realized he was holding, Izaya allowed himself to relax.

Relax, and _feel_.

Feel the heat from Shizuo’s body so close to his own.

Feel Shizuo’s chest move with every breath he took.

Feel the way Shizuo’s arms held him gently in place, surrounding him as if they could protect him from harm.

And in that moment, he honestly believed they could.

Because never before had he felt so safe around another person—another _human_ —in his life.

…~-~…

Shizuo continued to hold Izaya even after his breathing had evened out.

He could tell when he’d entered the room that Izaya had been terrified. When he had first pulled Izaya closer, he’d noticed the way Izaya suddenly tensed up for a moment, only to fully relax and fall asleep less than a minute later.

It frustrated him that Izaya still refused to tell him exactly what was happening. Because now, Shizuo was even more curious than ever.

He still found it very difficult to believe that the voice Izaya kept mentioning was real; however, after tonight, he decided to make a point to try and find out more.

Because even though the cuts on Izaya’s knuckles were in just the right places to have been the result of breaking a mirror…

Well, Shizuo had broken his fair share of glass and mirrors in the past, and there was no way that a simple punch to the glass could have thrown the shards of mirror across the ground the way it did in Izaya’s bathroom.

It was almost as if the glass had been punched forwards out towards Izaya, and then somehow kept moving until it hit the back wall.

He knew Izaya wasn’t strong enough to do that, and there was no way he’d have had the time to arrange the pieces in such a way to be a prank.

It was definitely something to look in to, but not now. He was pretty tired himself, and listening to Izaya’s rhythmic breathing wasn’t helping to keep him awake.

So instead, he brought his focus to the smaller body now pressed against his own.

He’d never realized just how thin Izaya really was. His arm was able to comfortably rest over Izaya’s small waist almost as if they were made to be like this.

Of course, he’d be lying if he said it didn’t feel strange at all. He realized that he’d never held contact with Izaya—or anyone else—for this long before. Who would have guessed that the first time he fell asleep with someone in his arms, it would be his ex-arch enemy? “Ex” because from the way this conversation had gone, Shizuo suspected that they wouldn’t be fighting as much after this—or at all if Izaya was serious.

He’d have to find out in the morning if Izaya truly meant what he had said just a few minutes ago.


	42. Chapter 42

He felt good. He couldn’t even remember the last time he had felt this good. His body shifted closer to the source of warmth wrapped around him, not wanting the feeling to end.

He knew he shouldn’t be doing this, but he was too relaxed to remember why. But when he pressed himself even closer and then felt the warm body next to him begin to shift, he suddenly remembered he wasn’t alone.

His eyes sprung open, but he didn’t move just yet. He couldn’t tell if Shizuo was awake yet, and he hoped he wouldn’t be finding out the hard way.

When there was no further movement from the other man, Izaya slowly raised his head…

And made eye contact with Shizuo.

“’Morning.” Shizuo said with a slight smile, “Are you normally this cuddly when you wake up…?”

Izaya lowered his head, burying it back into Shizuo’s chest. When memories of last night came rushing back, Izaya realized that Shizuo must have been holding him like this all night.

“Hey,” Shizuo said, pushing lightly under Izaya’s chin so that the informant would look at him again, “I didn’t say it was a bad thing. I just didn’t think you’d really be the type.”

“I’m not.” Izaya stated, pushing himself out of Shizuo’s grip and getting out of bed.

“Oh really? Because ever since you whispered my name a little while earlier, you wouldn’t stop trying to get closer.” Shizuo teased.

“Yeah, well, you can’t blame me for what I did in my slee—” Izaya froze for a moment when he realized exactly what Shizuo had said, “Wait… When did I say your name…?”

Shizuo shrugged as he began getting out of bed as well. “I dunno… Maybe twenty minutes ago…?”

“Wha—How the hell long were you watching me sleep?!” Izaya blurted out.

“An hour.” Shizuo said simply, “But that’s not important.”

“Shizu-chan, is watching people sleep some kind of hobby of yours or something?”

“What do you mean by that…?” Shizuo asked.

“Well, this is the second time! You were watching me sleep when I was at your place too!”

“How…” Shizuo’s face was blank, “How did you know about that…? Don’t tell me you were awake the whole time!”

“Ah… no.” Izaya stumbled on his words, caught off guard, “Sai—The uhh… The voice told me…” he said, pointing to his head. “I thought it was lying though. Apparently not.”

Shizuo nodded, even though none of what Izaya said made sense to him. Either Izaya’s subconscious knew he was being watched that night (which wouldn’t be surprising at all to him), or maybe there really was something to this voice Izaya kept mentioning.

If only he could convince Izaya to open up.

But there seemed to be something in the way.

Izaya seemed to be afraid to tell him for some reason. Was he afraid that he really would send him to the hospital? Or was it something else?

Only Izaya had the answer to that.

With a sigh, Shizuo stood to follow Izaya out of the room after the informant mentioned something about breakfast.

…~-~…

Shizuo sat on a barstool at the table in Izaya’s apartment while Izaya began making breakfast. They still hadn’t mentioned Izaya’s confession, and Shizuo was busy trying to pick the best time.

He noticed the faint smile on Izaya’s face as he placed the omelet on the table in front of him and began to pour the tea.

“You seem to be feeling better.” Shizuo pointed out.

“Yes, well I actually have an appetite this morning, so I’d say it’s a good day.” Izaya said, taking a large bite of his omelet.

Shizuo followed suit, taking a bit of his own only to pause when the flavor hit him. He had no idea Izaya could make something so simple taste so good.

“Something wrong, Shizu-chan?” Izaya asked, taking a sip of tea.

“N-no,” Shizuo said quietly, “It’s just… Izaya, this is _really_ good.”

The _slightest_ shade of pink showed on Izaya’s face; however, it was gone before Shizuo was even sure he’d seen it.

“Good, I’m glad you like it.” Izaya said confidently.

They finished their meal in an awkward silence until both only had their tea left to keep the silence. Shizuo decided that now would probably be the best time to talk before Izaya had a chance to start getting weird… er.

“Hey, Izaya…?” Shizuo began after lightly clearing his throat, “About um… last night…”

“Ah, right,” Izaya cut in, “As I said, it’s just something I’ve come to accept, and I understand if you don’t return those feelings.”

“No, no, I’m not… I’m not flat out rejecting you…” Shizuo began, “I just… I need to know that you’re serious so I don’t end up wasting my time thinking about it if you… well, change your mind or something. ‘Cause well—”

“Stop right there, Shizu-chan,” Izaya said lightly, holding his hand up, “I know where you’re going with this. You’re thinking that since my mental state is currently questionable, that my head is screwing with me to make me think I feel the opposite of hatred for you. Is that a correct assumption?”

“… Uhh… yeah… kind of.” Shizuo said quietly, turning slightly to avoid Izaya’s scrutinizing gaze.

“To be honest with you, it actually does have something to do with that.” Izaya confirmed, “However, that was only at the beginning. Recently, I guess you could say the voice is trying to keep me away from you. And so everything I said last night was of my own will, and not influenced by anyone or anything.”

Izaya frowned slightly when Shizuo still looked rather skeptical. He might have just proven his point in the most logical way possible, but Shizuo has never listened to logic before. Especially logic from Orihara Izaya.

“How about if I prove it to you another way then, hm?” Izaya said, standing up from his barstool.

“Like how…?” Shizuo asked hesitantly.

Izaya took a few slow steps forward, trying not to move too fast so that if Shizuo wanted to stop him, he would have adequate time to do so.

But Shizuo remained perfectly still in his seat, though he seemed to be on high alert, never taking his eyes off of Izaya.

Once he was as close as he could be, Izaya slowly leaned forward until Shizuo’s face was only a few centimeters away from his own.

“Stop me if you want to, Shizuo.” he whispered, pausing to see if the blonde would make a move.

When there was no sign of resistance, Izaya let his eyes close and gently touched his lips to Shizuo’s.

Still finding no resistance despite his increasingly obvious intentions, Izaya leaned in just a bit closer to deepen the kiss, but not past a certain point.

He could feel the way Shizuo’s body tensed at the action, and as much as Izaya wished he could push past those lips and into the man’s mouth, Izaya held himself back.

Even when his own heart rate skyrocketed, and his body demanded more, he still refused go any farther.

As he broke the kiss, he took a step back to give Shizuo some space. His expression was blank.

Izaya waited, allowing Shizuo the time he needed to work out what he wanted to do or say next. Meanwhile, his heart pounded in his chest as if he’d just finished one of their usual fights. Only this time, his heart only beat faster with every second that passed in silence.

“I… I think I should go.” Shizuo stated calmly, standing from the stool.

Izaya simply nodded in response, not wanting to draw more attention to the awkward situation.

“Thanks for breakfast, Flea.” Shizuo said on his way out the door.

Izaya could only close his eyes and turn away, not finding the strength within himself to watch Shizuo leave. There was no way he’d speak with him again after that, and Izaya would have to accept that fact.

He was a fool for thinking the kiss would help his cause.

He and Shizuo were like oil and water.

They could never mix.

They could never be anything other than rivals.

They simply were not meant to be.


	43. Chapter 43

Izaya stared at the door, unable to move. He felt like an idiot. He never should have gone that far so soon after confessing. Shizuo was angry enough at him for refusing to tell him everything, and now he had been flat out rejected.

Not only rejected… Izaya felt _abandoned_.

Granted it was his own stupidity that made him leave, but Shizuo was trying to help him. He’d asked for help, and ruined his chances of receiving it.

He was alone again.

Shizuo had left him alone with Saika.

When panic began to set in, Izaya did the best he could to keep calm while his heart continued to beat out of control.

Slowly, he made his way over to the couch, falling face first onto it.

“Fuck…” he whispered when tears began to form in his eyes.

This wasn’t right. He wasn’t supposed to cry, damn it!

He never should have confessed to Shizuo. The only thing he did was to make things worse between them. Shizuo would probably never even look at him again.

 _“Good riddance.”_ Saika murmured, _“Ah, are you upset, Izaya?”_

“Go away.” Izaya said into the couch.

_“You know that I can never be ‘away’, don’t you?”_

“I don’t care. Just leave me alone!” Izaya grumbled, turning to shoot Saika a glare.

_“Aww look. You’re crying! I never would have thought you’d cry over getting rejected though. Ah, but love can do the strangest things to people!”_

“Fuck you.”

_“Now, now, don’t be so snippy.”_

“I’ll be as ‘snippy’ as I damn well want! This is all your fault you son of a bitch!” Izaya said, standing up to face the image of himself.

_“I’ve never seen such a display of emotion from you before! It’s so very human…”_

“I hate you.” Izaya said quietly, “And one of these days I’m going to kill you.”

_“That’s too bad, because I still love you. In fact, I love you more than ever right now…”_

Izaya paused. He knew what Saika’s love made it do, and it didn’t make him feel any better when Saika’s eyes became even brighter as it spoke.

_“Now why don’t you have a seat.”_

Izaya did so obediently, wondering if he’d managed to anger Saika somehow.

 _“That’s a good boy.”_ Saika cooed, reaching out towards Izaya, _“Tears aren’t a good look for you, but I must say, when something hurts you enough to make you cry… I can feel myself growing that much stronger…”_

Izaya forgot how to breathe when Saika’s hand lightly cupped Izaya’s face, wiping one of the tears away with its thumb.

Saika was touching him.

Physically _touching_ him.

 _“That’s it…”_ Saika whispered, still stroking Izaya’s cheek, _“I told you that you’d fear me sooner or later. I can feel your heart racing…”_

Izaya quickly stood up again, batting Saika’s hand away. “I don’t want you touching me, you monster.”

_“Oh, but Izaya, you don’t have much of a choice in the matter anymore. And I must say, I really do love it when you show your human side. All of that fear and anger… I want to feel more… I want to love you more…”_

Saika took a few steps towards him as it spoke, forcing Izaya to step back. He didn’t want Saika to get too close right now.

And then in the blink of an eye, Saika moved.

Izaya’s eyes couldn’t follow its speed, but he was able to sense it standing behind him just before he felt a shove that knocked him to the ground.

He landed on his left arm, making him hiss in pain as the fall tugged harshly at the stitches there.

_“Oh, did that hurt, Izaya…?”_

“You damn well should know that.” Izaya hissed, tightly holding his arm against his body.

But when he looked up, he was shocked to see that Saika was completely unaffected.

_“No, I can’t say I do know just how much that hurt… You see, I was able to disconnect myself from the pain center of your brain. I no longer can feel it when you get hurt. And I have to say, I love seeing pain on that pretty face of yours.”_

“So what are you going to do to me?” Izaya asked, his voice calm and collected.

_“I’m so glad you asked.”_

Once again, Saika moved much faster than Izaya’s eyes could follow. He tried to move away in that short amount of time; however, before he could do so, Saika was hovering over his face, with its hands tightly wrapped around his neck.

He could feel the crushing pressure on his windpipe as his lungs desperately tried to take in air. He was reminded of the feeling when Saika had made him hallucinate that his apartment was on fire.

However this was not a hallucination.

The pain he felt was real.

He clawed at Saika’s hands, trying to force them off, but it was useless. He could already feel his consciousness slipping as his lungs reflexively tried to cough, only intensifying the pain.

And just like that, he passed out.

Saika could feel Izaya’s body go limp in his grip. Only then did it let go.

Izaya still wasn’t breathing even after Saika had let go. He’d passed out when blood flow to his brain was cut off, and remained so even after it was back.

Saika waited another few seconds before it began to wonder if it had used too much force and crushed Izaya’s windpipe. It had gotten a bit carried away when Izaya began helplessly trying to force Saika’s hands away, and considering it couldn’t feel what it was doing do Izaya, it was very possible it had done more damage than intended.

Carefully, Saika leaned in and tipped Izaya’s head back to try and open his airways a bit more. It watched closely as Izaya’s chest began to rise and fall again, albeit it was very slight and a bit uneven, but he was breathing again.

And so, Saika took a place on the couch and waited for its host to wake up.

…~-~…

His eyes opened just enough to make out a few blurred objects such as his couch and coffee table before he realized that he desperately needed air. He inhaled quickly and deeply, causing him to start coughing at the sudden intake of air.

He rolled onto his side as the coughing continued, until finally he was able to force his breathing to slow down and breathe steadily.

_“Ah, good. I was wondering if I was going to have to call the hospital or something when you weren’t waking up.”_

“You had your fun, now leave me alone.” Izaya choked out, his voice hoarse.

 _“Fine, fine, I suppose that’s enough for now.”_ Saika said with a smirk, _“How about I give you some time to work on the job Akabayashi told you about?”_

“As long as you don’t touch me again.” Izaya replied, still seething, and feeling rather nervous as well.

_“I won’t, I won’t!”_

Izaya sighed, rubbing at his sore neck as he grabbed his laptop and tried to get to work.

But every once in a while, his thoughts would wander to the blonde that had been in this very room only a few short hours ago, and then his chest would begin to ache.

He thought of the way Shizuo had held him so gently, and how safe he had felt in that moment. He would give anything to feel that right now.

Or to feel Shizuo’s lips against his own once again…

But Shizuo wouldn’t come back.

And so, Izaya closed his laptop and curled up on the couch, tightly holding himself. He ignored Saika’s comments as he closed his eyes and imagined how it had felt to be safe in the arms of the man he loved, even if it had only been for one night.

 


	44. Chapter 44

It had been three days since Izaya had kissed him, and Shizuo hadn’t once stopped thinking about it.

When Izaya had first confessed to him, he hadn’t taken him completely seriously. It was Izaya after all. He was notorious for his ability to get into people’s heads by saying things he didn’t really mean.

But what bothered Shizuo was that there was no reason for Izaya to lie about something like that. He had nothing to gain except to mess with Shizuo’s head. And why would he do that when he had asked for his help? Unless that was all part of some elaborate plan… but he doubted it.

Izaya was in no state to come up with a scheme like that. He had been scared by something, and possibly it was a moment of weakness that made him say those things.

And if that was the case, then he probably was serious.

Shizuo had been bouncing between these two theories ever since the words had come out of Izaya’s mouth. And the more he thought about it, the evidence that it was all an act only decreased.

After all, why would Izaya kiss him if he wasn’t serious?

Ah, right. The kiss.

That was another thing he couldn’t get out of his head.

Why didn’t he push Izaya away? Why did he let him keep going when he knew what was coming?

… Did Izaya know that he had stolen Shizuo’s first kiss…?

Probably not…

But still, something about it… had seemed… right.

Not that the thought of kissing Izaya had been exactly a good one, but…

He didn’t mind it either.

Maybe it was because Izaya simply wasn’t acting like the Izaya he knew anymore.

And then it hit him. What if the reason Izaya was acting differently towards him was because he was in love with him?

Izaya had said that he’d been putting a lot of thought into it. If that had been going on for a while, it would explain a lot.

Like that note he’d left the night he’d stayed at Shizuo’s apartment.

And why he’d wanted Shizuo to stay the night at his place.

Maybe Izaya had wanted to kiss him for a while now…

And Shizuo had just… walked away afterwards…

Shit… What if he’d upset Izaya? He’d been through a lot just in that one night, and he just walked away…

He hadn’t seen or heard anything related to Izaya since he left either.

He should go see if he was okay.

“Shizuo, everything okay?” Tom asked, “You’ve been distracted lately.”

“Sorry, Tom-san…” Shizuo mumbled, “I’m okay, but… I have something I need to take care of.”

Tom studied Shizuo’s face for a moment and shrugged, “Sure. We only have two more stops today anyway. And no offense, but you seem a bit too preoccupied.”

“Yeah, I know. Thanks though.”

“No problem, just take care of whatever it is that’s bothering you.”

“I will.”

…~-~…

Shizuo rushed over to Izaya’s apartment, wondering the entire time what he should say. Or if Izaya would even listen to him.

“Izaya?” he called, knocking on the door, “Are you in there?”

He still couldn’t figure out what he was going to say, but he hoped that something would come to him eventually.

But anything he could have thought to say was torn out of his head when the door swung open and revealed Izaya, his neck badly bruised, looking more exhausted than ever.

“What the hell happened to you?!” Shizuo exclaimed, suddenly forgetting why he was there.

It looked like he’d been attacked, or…

Shizuo froze. What if Izaya had tried to hang himself somehow…?

No. Izaya wouldn’t do something like that. There had to be another explanation.

“I didn’t try to kill myself, if that’s what you’re thinking.” Izaya said coldly, slightly out of breath for some reason.

“N-no. Well, I… Why are you breathing so hard…?” Shizuo quickly changed the subject.

“It didn’t want me to answer the door…” Izaya admitted quietly, looking away, “I had to fight it off.”

“’It’ being the voice, right?”

“Yes.” Izaya nodded, “It also did this right after you left the other day.” he pointed to the bruises on his neck.

“Is it here now?”

There was a short pause before Izaya nodded.

“Maybe we should talk at my place. You know, to get you away from it…?”

“There is no getting away from it.” Izaya explained, “Wherever I am, it’s there too.”

“Well then can I come in so we can talk…?”

“Uhh… yeah.” Izaya stepped to the side to allow Shizuo in.

When Shizuo turned to look again, Izaya’s head was down, staring at a spot on the floor.

“If this is about last time, I’d like to apologize.” he said.

“Don’t.” Shizuo cut in, “Yeah, that is what I want to talk about, but you don’t have to apologize.”

Izaya raised his head, looking confused. “I don’t understand…”

“Come on. Let’s sit down and talk, okay?” he said, gesturing towards the couch.

Shizuo didn’t miss the way Izaya’s eyes darted to look at a specific spot on the couch before he agreed.

He made a point to put himself between Izaya and that spot.

Izaya had said that “it” was here right now, and judging by the way Izaya looked at the couch, he guessed that was where he could see it sitting.

“Izaya,” Shizuo began, “when you said you loved me… You were really serious, right?”

“Do we need to go over this again?” Izaya asked, “That’s why I kissed you, remember…?”

“I just… I want to make sure that you’re not going to take back what you said for whatever reason.”

“I won’t. I… I really am in love with you… Even when I confessed to you, I don’t think I realized exactly how much, but when I kissed you, I…” he paused, “I won’t be changing my mind about this.”

“That’s all I needed to hear.” Shizuo whispered, wrapping one arm around Izaya’s waist and the other on the back of his head, he pulled Izaya close and placed his lips over his.

There was no sign of a struggle from Izaya. In fact, the informant did exactly the opposite, reaching his arms up to wrap them around Shizuo’s neck, pulling himself even closer and attempting to deepen the kiss. Shizuo allowed just that, parting his lips just enough to let Izaya’s tongue into his own mouth.

He’d never kissed anyone like this before, but once he let his instinct take over, he knew he must be doing something right.

He knew because the moan that had just come from Izaya as his arms tightened even more around Shizuo’s neck sounded as if they had been doing something more than kissing.

Izaya was the one to break the kiss, panting as he moved to rest his head on Shizuo’s shoulder.

“Shit…” he whispered breathlessly, “Where did you learn to do that…?”

“Just instinct I guess…” Shizuo shrugged, moving in closer to kiss Izaya again, eliciting another moan from the smaller man.

After a few seconds, Izaya pushed Shizuo away so that he could look him in the eyes.

“Why…?” he asked.

“Because, well… I’ve been thinking that if it’s possible for you to change the way you feel about me so drastically and mean it, then it’s possible for me to try to do the same. And if you’re going to stop trying to mess with my life, I could learn to like you back. Besides, you said you needed my help, right?”

Izaya sighed. “Don’t force yourself to try and like me just because I do, Shizu-chan.”

“To be honest, I’m not forcing it.” Shizuo admitted.

“Now you’ve lost me.”

“Well, I… When you kissed me before… The real reason I left… is well… I kind of liked it. I was just a bit confused.”

Shizuo laughed when Izaya’s eyes widened.

“So, what does this mean for us then…?” Izaya asked, recovering from his shock.

“Uhh… I’m not sure. Do you think we could be… dating or something…?” he mumbled, feeling his face begin to heat up at the word.

It was Izaya’s turn to laugh now as Shizuo looked away in an attempt to hide his face. “That blush looks cute on you, Shizu-chan! But… I’d be okay with that if you are…”

“Y-yeah… Sure.”

…~-~…

They later ended up how they had been just a few nights ago. With Shizuo in Izaya’s bed, gently holding him close as they fell asleep together.

That is, until a sharp poke on the shoulder woke him from his sleep.

It wasn’t like he hadn’t expected it. Ever since Saika found the ability to physically touch Izaya it used that to its advantage when it came to making sure Izaya didn’t sleep at night; thus, rendering the sleeping pills useless.

Izaya let out a small groan as he tried to ignore Saika’s pestering, trying to move his body closer to Shizuo’s.

 _“Oh, no. I’m not letting you off that easily.”_ Saika said, grabbing hold of Izaya’s arm and pulling him away from the blonde.

“Hey!” Izaya whispered sharply.

_“I have a surprise for you, Izaya. In honor of your becoming more human…”_

Izaya let out a small gasp as a knife was plunged into his abdomen, pain tearing its way through his body as he bit his lip to keep quiet.

‘Is this another hallucination?’ he asked through his thoughts.

 _“Isn’t figuring that out part of the fun? It feels real, does it not?”_ Saika pulled the knife from Izaya, blood dripping from the blade as Izaya quickly moved to cover the wound with his hand just as the knife descended again into his left shoulder.

“Ah!” he gasped, feeling the blood seep over his clothing and onto the bed.

Yes, it did _feel_ real. But that didn’t mean anything because Saika’s hallucinations were the closest thing to reality other than reality itself.

Izaya made eye contact with Saika just before it brought the knife down once again to his abdomen, causing Izaya to cry out in pain.

Hallucination or not, it still hurt like hell.

“Nn… Izaya…?” Shizuo mumbled, quickly sitting up, “Are you okay?! Is it another hallucination?!”

Well, at least he got his answer. If Shizuo couldn’t see the massive amount of blood he could feel pouring out of his “wounds”, then that means they aren’t really there.

He managed to nod in response to Shizuo question before he was pulled back into the blonde’s comforting grasp.

“It’ll go away like before, right?” Shizuo asked, gently running his fingers through Izaya’s hair.

“Eventually, I hope…” Izaya said, trying to focus on what Shizuo was doing to him rather than what Saika was doing.

 _“Don’t you dare ignore me for him!”_ Saika yelled, plunging the “knife” into the back of Izaya’s shoulder.

Izaya cringed at the pain, a whimper escaping his lips as he continued to focus on Shizuo. It had worked before. Allowing his mind to think about Shizuo had worked as a barrier against Saika’s attacks before, but it was much more difficult now that Saika had gotten stronger.

“Izaya,” Shizuo spoke softly, “what exactly is it doing to you? Please tell me.”

“It… has a knife—AH!” he couldn’t finish his sentence when the “knife” went into his side. It seemed that Saika didn’t want him telling Shizuo the details. And if would make the pain stop, he’d be willing to keep quiet.

Shizuo put two and two together when Izaya said the word “knife” before flinching in pain. He was hallucinating that he was being stabbed. And apparently, it was the “voice” that was doing it.

Judging by the way Izaya’s body moved, the “voice” that was stabbing him was facing Izaya’s back. Shizuo reached a hand out, wondering if maybe—just _maybe_ —it really was there, and he’d be able to touch it.

But there was noting that he could feel. He couldn’t see anything either. But something bothered him. As Izaya had always pointed out, Shizuo’s instincts were sharp, and he could tell something was off. He could feel that unmistakable feeling of being watched.

However, his focus shifted when Izaya cried out again, this time the cry sounding much more painful.

“It… it hurts… Shizu-chan…” he whimpered.

His body was shaking now, and Shizuo could see him growing increasingly pale just like that night when he had found him in the alley.

He wanted to help Izaya. He was in pain, but there was nothing he could do to stop it.

He’d never felt so powerless against something in his life.

“Whoever you are, leave him alone.” Shizuo said aloud looking in the direction he assumed “it” was positioned.

“It… won’t listen…” Izaya mumbled.

“Then tell me what I can do. What can I do to make it stop?”

“I… I don’t know…”

Shizuo could see Izaya’s brow pull together as if he was thinking, until his eyes suddenly snapped open.

He moved quickly, wincing in pain as he pulled himself up to seal their lips a desperate kiss. He was a bit confused, but he took the hint, deepening the kiss, and continuing to gently run his fingers through Izaya’s hair.

Izaya on the other hand, instantly began to feel better as he focused on the way Shizuo’s tongue twirled against his own. He had recalled how good it had made him feel earlier, and he was correct in assuming that what he felt when kissing Shizuo was strong enough to fight Saika.

Gradually, the pain began to fade replaced by a pleasant tingling feeling that spread from every point where Shizuo’s body touched his. He also became more aware of how good it felt to have Shizuo’s fingers running through his hair.

Breaking the kiss, Izaya turned to find the Saika had already disappeared. He let out a sigh of relief as he turned back to face Shizuo, burying his face into his chest.

“Is it gone?” he asked, resting his chin on the top of Izaya’s head.

“Yeah.” Izaya whispered, “Thank you.”

“No problem.”

Shizuo waited until Izaya’s breathing evened out again, and his body relaxed. He wanted to believe that Izaya was telling him the truth, and that this is real, but he hadn’t felt anything when he had reached his hand out.

Honestly, it was all extremely unsettling. He could only hope that it would all make sense to him sooner rather than later.


	45. Chapter 45

A week came and went in which Shizuo found himself spending more and more time with Izaya in his apartment. In those few short days, he noticed that Izaya was slowly beginning to look healthier. He was sleeping much better, and hadn’t mentioned much about the voice other than an occasional whisper of a threat to a being Shizuo could not see.

Ever since the night Izaya had been “stabbed” by the voice, the informant seemed to have grown more confident with keeping the voice in check. He had mentioned something about how just having Shizuo nearby was making the voice weaker, but when Shizuo pressed for more information, Izaya refused to say anything more.

It was frustrating to say the least, but if Izaya didn’t want to talk, there wasn’t anything he could do about it.

But it was still nice to see the informant sleeping peacefully through the night without the use of medication. He’d also noticed that little by little, Izaya’s apartment was being put back in order.

Miscellaneous papers were put into their respective files, and carefully stacked on his desk as the informant continued to work.

Shizuo had taken to spending his time out of work getting dinner with Izaya (usually Izaya’s treat despite Shizuo’s efforts to let him pay for once), and then using the rest of the evening watching television while Izaya continued typing away at his laptop and desktop simultaneously.

When he’d asked Izaya what exactly he was working on, Izaya had responded lightly with “Just something for a yakuza group.” After Shizuo gave him a look of both confusion and anger, Izaya added on “It’s nothing dangerous. All I have to do is track one group’s activities and report what I find.”

Of course, Shizuo wasn’t exactly comforted by that response; however, later that night, Izaya had finally finished his work with one last phone call confirming that he “had seen evidence of a possible drug scandal, but nothing more.” According to Izaya, a man named Shiki had said he would take care of the rest after Izaya provided him with a file of the information he’d collected.

“Wait here, Shizu-chan,” Izaya said, pulling on his coat and grabbing the file, “This should only take about twenty minutes.”

And with that, Shizuo was alone in Izaya’s apartment.

…~-~…

Izaya checked the time on his phone as he headed home. It was half past nine, and from what he’d told Shizuo, he should have been back half an hour ago. He had ended up staying with Shiki a bit longer, going over the file. Shiki apparently hadn’t completely trusted Akabayashi’s story that Izaya was much more stable; however, he had decided it was plausible considering he looked much better than he did the last time Shiki had seen him.

But still, getting sidetracked like that had taken extra time, and he wondered if he should call Shizuo to let him know he was on his way.

Except before he could reach his phone, he was roughly pulled into a nearby alley, and thrown harshly against the brick wall there.

Izaya reacted quickly, pulling his flick blade out, eyes scanning the alley.

“Oh,” Izaya’s voice dripped with malice, “It was you.”

Saika stood, facing Izaya, blocking the exit to the alley.

 _“I couldn’t have you going back to your little ‘Shizu-chan’ just yet, now could I?”_ Saika said with a grin.

“What do you want now?” Izaya asked, raising his blade towards Saika.

 _“What do I always want?”_ Saika shrugged, _“Well, I guess at the moment, I want you to stop fighting me so I can break free from you.”_

“As much as I would love for you to be gone, I can’t let you out. I know what you’re capable of, and I refuse to let you do what you want.”

_“No, if you truly knew what I was capable of, then you wouldn’t disobey me.”_

“Believe me, Saika, I know. And I think I can admit now that I am afraid. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to sit back and let you do what you want. I refuse to let you win this.”

_“And what makes you think you can stop me?”_

“I have Shizuo.” he said simply, walking around Saika so that he was closer to the exit of the alley, “Shizuo isn’t affected by you, remember? And in accepting my love for him, I have a bit more leverage over you.”

_“But he doesn’t even believe you. He still thinks you’re insane.”_

“He just doesn’t know the whole story yet. When I tell him—“

 _“You’re too afraid to tell him.”_ Saika interjected, _“Your fear of me still overpowers your love for him. But don’t worry, that’s a perfectly_ human _reaction. Oh, wait, but you want to be above humans, don’t you?”_

“Shut up.”

_“You want to prove to me that you’re better than humans, but instead you’re only becoming more and more like them to do so.”_

“Shut. Up.”

_“You are human, Orihara Izaya. There is no escaping that for you. Hide your emotions away all you like, but one day they’ll take control of you and you’ll do something you never thought you would.”_

“SHUT THE HELL UP!”

A small tap on the shoulder caught his attention, causing him to spin around, holding his knife out in defense.

“Izaya!”

His breath caught in his throat when he realized that it had been Shizuo who had touched him. Slowly he lowered his weapon.

“Shizu-chan…?”

“Izaya, what are you doing?”

“I—it—I was—Shizu-chan—“ he fought to find the right words, but the only coherent sentence he could come up with was “How long were you standing there…?”

“Just long enough to see you yelling at a dumpster to ‘shut up’”

Izaya turned to see that Saika was indeed standing directly in front of a dumpster.

“Shizu-chan, I’m telling you, it’s not what it looks like.”

“You keep saying that, Izaya. But you haven’t proven it to me yet.” Shizuo began to approach Izaya ask he spoke.

Izaya quickly lost his patience. “It’s standing right there!” he yelled, pointing directly at Saika, “Can’t you see it?!”

He was soon backed up to the wall with Shizuo giving him a concerned look. “No, Izaya, I can’t see it.” he said, shaking his head.

“Shizu-chan, please…” Izaya begged.

Shizuo’s hand reached up, covering Izaya’s eyes as he leaned in the place a gentle kiss on Izaya’s forehead. His flick blade slipped from his hand, and fell to the ground as he gave up on trying to explain himself.

“Shh…” Shizuo whispered, “Just close your eyes and calm down, okay?”

Izaya did as he was told, not wanting to fight Shizuo. He let himself relax just a bit to show Shizuo he was willing to cooperate.

Maybe it was time to tell Shizuo the truth. Even if Shizuo got mad at him, or if Saika attacked him for it, at least maybe Shizuo would understand when he heard the name “Saika”.

“C’mon,” Shizuo said, bending down to retrieve Izaya’a flick blade before lightly tugging Izaya’s hand, “Let’s get you home.”

Izaya followed without a word.


	46. Chapter 46

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another of my favorite parts and one of the ideas that made me write this fic in the first place...

“You okay?” Shizuo asked as Izaya removed his coat and shoes.

“Yeah,” he said quietly, “Sorry about that… I lost control a bit.”

Shizuo sighed, “Hey, it’s okay,” he said pulling Izaya’s chin up so that their eyes could meet, “if anyone knows what it feels like to lose control, it’s me.”

Instead of responding verbally, Izaya leaned forward just a bit, hovering his lips just above Shizuo’s.

Immediately understanding what Izaya wanted, Shizuo pulled the smaller man close, deepening the kiss until he heard that small little moan that always seemed to find its way out of Izaya when they kissed.

Izaya gripped Shizuo’s neck tighter as he was pushed up against the wall, Shizuo’s lips pressed over his own in a dominating kiss. It felt so natural to simply raise his leg, wrapping it around Shizuo, only to realize that Shizuo was already holding much of his weight when the blonde’s hands moved to cup Izaya’s bottom.

So he moved quickly, lifting both legs up and wrapping them tightly around Shizuo’s waist. The position allowed their clothed groins to press against one another, drawing out another small, partially muffled moan from Izaya.

It felt almost too good. The way Shizuo’s hands began to lightly knead the flesh of his bottom, holding him against the wall as he continued to probe Izaya’s mouth, twisting his tongue against Izaya’s.

He’d never realized until now just how much he’d wanted this. Nor did he ever think he’d let someone actually get this close to him to begin with. And for Shizuo of all people to be the one doing this to him? To have him craving every touch, every brush of Shizuo’s body against his own, unable to stop the small noises forming in his throat from escaping just because of the pleasure another person’s touch sent pounding through his system.

Shizuo was the first to pull away from the kiss forcing Izaya to lean forward, craving more as Shizuo rested his forehead against Izaya’s.

They were both panting heavily as Izaya whispered, “Maybe we should take this somewhere else. At least to the couch or something.”

Shizuo nodded, stepping away from the wall as Izaya held on, feeling the way Shizuo shifted as he walked, rubbing against his growing arousal.

They fell clumsily onto the couch, Shizuo muttering a quick “sorry” before Izaya pulled him back into another kiss.

Before he even realized it, Shizuo’s hands had wandered to rest one on Izaya’s hip while the other arm was pressed into the couch above Izaya’s head. But he wasn’t able to focus on where Shizuo’s hands were for long when the man’s knee pressed against his groin, rubbing lightly while he deepened the kiss.

And then something in Izaya snapped. He wanted more. Much more than Shizuo was giving to him. As good of a kisser as Shizuo was, he was going much to slow for Izaya’s liking.

So with a few forceful movements, Izaya managed to maneuver his body to flip their positions so that he was straddling Shizuo’s hips. The result was a rather confused looking Shizuo as Izaya quickly began fumbling with the buttons on his vest and shirt. However, once he had both unbuttoned, a small thin line of a scar stood out as the only imperfection on Shizuo’s chest, flooding Izaya’s head with memories of their first meeting, and Saika’s influence over him.

Had it really been Saika who had subconsciously persuaded him to cut Shizuo that time? He hadn’t even thought twice when it had happened, but he had still been able to keep Saika from reaching Shizuo—not that it would have mattered as he recently learned.

But something still bothered him enough to make him pause and stare at that scar. What if it had been some type of love for the blonde when they’d first met that had held Saika back? After all, Saika had been much weaker back then, making it much easier to restrain.

“Is something wrong?” Shizuo asked, cupping Izaya’s face with his hand.

Lightly grasping Shizuo’s wrist, Izaya leaned in to the touch. “No. Everything’s fine.”

Grinning, Izaya leaned back down and began sucking harshly on the juncture between Shizuo’s jaw and neck while his hands began to roam over the skin underneath his shirt.

Shizuo let out a small gasp when one of Izaya’s hands ran over a hardening nipple and Izaya began lightly thrusting his hips against his.

Unable to take it anymore, Shizuo sat up and began tugging Izaya’s shirt over his head before removing his own, both tossing the articles of clothing haphazardly across the room.

Shizuo’s hands immediately fell to rest on Izaya’s hips, rubbing circles as he began sucking and nipping at Izaya’s collarbone, earning a rather loud moan and a sharp movement of Izaya’s hips.

Looking down, Shizuo could see a growing bulge underneath the fabric of Izaya’s pants as the informant continued to shift under every touch, pressing his body closer every time to get just a bit more stimulation.

Izaya couldn’t think straight anymore. His mind was currently focused on two things: the way Shizuo touched him, and the feeling of Shizuo’s body beneath his own.

It had been far too long since he’d thought about his body’s needs, and now that his body remembered the feeling, he couldn’t stop himself.

Adrenaline pounded through his veins, increasing his arousal as he quickly began fumbling with the button on Shizuo’s pants when Shizuo suddenly stopped him.

“Wait,” he breathed, “are you sure about this…?”

Letting out a small laugh, Izaya placed a light kiss on Shizuo’s lips. “I am. Are you?”

“I… I am, but… you do know what this means for us, right?”

“Yes, I do.” Izaya nodded, “and I want it.”

Nothing more was said as Shizuo smiled and began working on removing Izaya’s pants as well as his own, quickly pulling them off of Izaya’s legs. When Shizuo began to lean over him once more, Izaya held up his hand to stop him.

“Just a second.” He said, quickly heading over to his closet. He began rummaging through a few boxes before he found the small unopened bottle of lube he’d bought a few months ago.

Hurrying back to the couch, he flipped the cap off of the bottle, coated his fingers with the lube, and had begun lightly rubbing his entrance when once again, Shizuo stopped him.

“No,” he said, lightly grabbing Izaya’s arm, “I want to do it.”

Izaya nodded, handing the bottle to Shizuo. “Have you done this before?”

He shook his head, “Tell me if I’m hurting you.”

“You won’t.” Izaya responded with a chuckle that turned into a groan as Shizuo began lightly rubbing at the tight ring of muscle with slightly larger and much rougher fingers.

Every touch was amplified with Izaya’s arousal, causing him to have to rest his forehead on Shizuo’s shoulder to keep his balance. When the temptation to touch himself became too much, he lightly began stroking his length for the first time in months. He’d been ignoring his urges in favor of dealing with Saika, but none of that mattered at the moment. All that mattered to him was the way Shizuo began slowing inserting the tip of his finger only to pull it out again as his muscles were coaxed to relax.

After one last slow circular motion, Shizuo pressed his finger in just a bit deeper, sending a pleasured chill down Izaya’s spine. His cock twitched in his hand when Shizuo’s finger continued moving even deeper, he let out a low moan, pressing his cock against Shizuo’s—who also let out a groan as his length was shown attention—and began to grind his hips, pressing down hard.

Izaya wrapped his hand around both of them as his hips began rocking in an uneven rhythm, unable to decide between Shizuo’s finger moving inside him, or the feeling of another hot and hard erection pressed against his own.

A drop of sweat slowly trailed down his back, his skin so sensitive he could feel it descend every inch until it disappeared into the gentle in and out movement of Shizuo’s finger. He felt another droplet form at the base of his neck, this time traveling down his chest; however, he was unable to track it any further when Shizuo pressed a second finger inside. Izaya cried out as his prostate was rubbed just right until all he could think was something along the lines of ‘moremoreyes—there!’

“Did you like that, Flea?” Shizuo asked playfully as Izaya continued to thrust his hips back into Shizuo’s fingers.

“Haahh… fuck yes…” he breathed.

Shizuo then added a third finger, stretching Izaya wide, causing his back to arch. He still wanted more.

It was an entirely different feeling than when he had used his own imagination in the past. Just knowing that it was Shizuo doing this to him, and being able to touch the man back and do the same… it was amazing.

“Shizu-chan…” Izaya muttered into Shizuo’s shoulder, “I need you…”

“Yeah…” he responded breathlessly, “I know…”

Izaya smiled, genuinely happy to know that Shizuo was feeling the same way. After eight years of fighting, they needed this if they were ever going to truly consider changing their feelings towards one another.

Even for Izaya who had already accepted his feelings… This was the next step to truly express to Shizuo just how serious he was about loving him.

Shifting his body a bit, Izaya sat up so that he could reach Shizuo’s length, giving it a few extra strokes before leading the head so that it rubbed against his entrance. He then carefully lowered himself down, feeling his muscles stretch to accommodate the head of Shizuo’s cock.

He had to stop for a moment once the tip was inside. Shizuo felt much bigger inside him than Izaya had initially thought. But he couldn’t hold back much longer when Shizuo let out a low moan, and Izaya could feel him desperately holding back from merely thrusting himself the rest of the way inside.

Slowly, Izaya continued lowering himself down onto Shizuo, stretching himself more than he thought possible, attempting to relax his muscles through the pain that came from doing this for the first time.

Yes, Izaya had touched himself like this before using a toy that he had bought years ago, but he had never actually done anything like this with another person before.

Either way, Shizuo was still considerably larger than anything he’d used in the past, there was a bit of pain that came with adjusting to his size.

“Fuck, Izaya…” Shizuo panted, “you’re so fucking tight…”

The words caused Izaya’s muscles in involuntarily clench down on Shizuo’s cock, coaxing a groan out of the blonde as his hands moved to cup Izaya’s backside, kneading lightly to help Izaya to relax.

“Am I hurting you…?” Shizuo asked, eyes full of concern when he noticed the slight grimace on Izaya’s face.

“It’s okay…” Izaya replied, shifting his hips a bit, “It’ll go away soon.”

Before Shizuo had a chance to respond, Izaya lifted himself up and back down again, making both he and Shizuo cry out in ecstasy.

His back arched as they continued, Shizuo’s hips beginning to thrust lightly against Izaya’s movements. Gradually, the pain faded, leaving only a full feeling along with overwhelming pleasure that struck him hard every time Shizuo slipped back inside, running his cock over Izaya’s prostate, and pressing in deeper than Izaya thought possible.

However, soon Izaya began to pick up speed, and after a few more thrusts, they were both very close.

Shizuo grabbed hold of Izaya’s hips, holding him still as he began to thrust his own hips, sending himself deeper and harder into that warm hole with every sharp thrust.

Each movement Shizuo made held a steady pressure against his prostate as Shizuo continued to move his hips up every time Izaya brought himself down.

Izaya cried out above him as he came, white shooting from the head of his length as his muscles convulsed around Shizuo, who came as well just as Izaya tipped over the edge.

But something wasn’t right…

Instead of a blissful afterglow, Izaya only felt fear when he recognized the feeling that crept into him.

He’d let himself go too far. His focus had drifted as he came, leaving a short lapse in which he let down all defenses not only to Shizuo, but inadvertently to Saika as well.

‘No… not now…’ he thought as his awareness rapidly faded and Saika’s presence filled his senses. After a short struggle, Izaya was left unconscious while Saika’s soul took control of his body.

Shizuo noticed immediately that something was off. Izaya’s eyes were closed tightly as if he was in pain, only for them to snap open again.

However instead of Izaya’s deep auburn eyes, there was a glow of crimson that felt all too familiar to Shizuo.

And the grin that now covered Izaya’s face was far too sinister to be the informant he knew.

Whoever this person was, it wasn’t Izaya.

And as this person leaned in to crush his lips in a dominating kiss, Shizuo could tell this was clearly _not_ Izaya.

He panicked as he pushed this red-eyed person away, pulling out of that body, and tossing it to the floor.

Shizuo tried to catch his breath as he watched this red-eyed stranger’s face contort in pain again before opening its eyes to reveal fearful auburn eyes instead that darted around the room until they landed on Shizuo.

A jolt to his body had brought Izaya back into the right state of mind, allowing him to force Saika back down.

When he opened his eyes again, he was on the floor looking up at Shizuo, whose eyes had grown wide in shock.

They stared at each other for a moment until a shrill laugh cut through the silence causing them both to jump—Shizuo a bit more than Izaya.

Quickly looking around the room, Shizuo tried to find the source of the manic laughter, only to freeze when his eyes landed on the reflection in Izaya’s large windows.

There, standing just behind Izaya was… the only way he could describe it was that it was another Izaya—but with glowing red eyes. He glanced back to Izaya on the floor, who had already turned around, glaring at the spot behind him. But to Shizuo, there was nothing there. He turned back to the window, still able to see the man in the reflection, yet unable to see the real thing.

But Izaya could. When looking in the reflection Shizuo could see that while it looked like Izaya was glaring angrily at empty space, he was actually looking directly at this red-eyed version of himself.

And then it was gone.

Izaya was also searching the room, but neither of them could hear or see any sign of the other person.

“I-Izaya…?” Shizuo asked, his voice shaking a bit.

Izaya turned to face him with a guilty expression, using the couch for balance as he stood up.

“What the hell was…?” Shizuo trailed off seeing the way Izaya tightly gripped the edge of the couch.

The guilt on Izaya’s face had quickly become a very different expression. It was difficult for Shizuo to place the emotion on Izaya’s face, but considering the way his jaw clenched together, Shizuo guessed it was anger. But a flicker of fear remained in his eyes as well.

The truth was, although it might not look completely so, Izaya was absolutely livid.

Saika had just successfully possessed him for the first time, and he had been caught off guard. He was a bit unnerved by that; however, his fear was gradually reduced by his anger.

He suddenly grew tense when he realized that Shizuo had also heard Saika’s laughter. And he’d clearly seen that he had been possessed, or else he wouldn’t be on the floor right now.

Straightening up, Izaya did his best to keep his emotions hidden as he addressed Shizuo, who was still staring at him in anticipation.

“Shizu-chan,” Izaya sighed, speaking lightly, “how about we go get cleaned up, and then we can talk. I guess it’s about time I tell you everything you need to know.”


	47. Chapter 47

_"Shizu-chan," Izaya sighed, speaking lightly, "how about we go get cleaned up, and then we can talk. I guess it's about time I tell you everything you need to know."_

“Everything?” Shizuo asked crossly, “You’re not just gonna tell me something basic and leave out the important stuff like you’ve been doing, are you?!”

Izaya sighed. “You’re angry. I understand. But no, I won’t leave anything out. I’ll answer all of your questions, okay? Let’s just clean up first.”

Shizuo clenched his fists, trying to keep himself from throwing the couch at Izaya. This “voice” was obviously much more than just that. It had taken over Izaya’s body, and not only that, but Shizuo had been able to see it, and even _hear_ it laughing.

After a few moments, he took a deep breath and managed to calm down, grateful that all of this time spent with Izaya lately was making it easier to keep calm around him. Besides, he knew he’d be less likely to get answers out of Izaya if he started beating the crap out of him this soon. So he decided to do as instructed for now.

Nodding, Shizuo began to follow Izaya upstairs, heading into the bathroom attached to Izaya’s room. Shizuo looked around the room, noticing that the mirror had not yet been replaced, but it had been cleaned up.

Izaya turned the water on, lightly tapping Shizuo’s arm to signal for him to follow as Izaya stepped into the shower.

“Can we just start talking about this now?” Shizuo pressed, wanting nothing more than to understand what was going on.

Izaya responded with a shake of his head. “Give me a bit to work this out.”

“When you say it like that it sounds like what you’re going to tell me is a lie.”

“No, it’s not that… I promise I won’t lie to you, it’s just that…” Izaya trailed off, moving in closer to place a light kiss on Shizuo’s lips, “It’s just that I’ve never told anyone about this…”

“Your parents don’t know? Or your sisters?”

He shook his head again. “My parents probably would have thought I was insane. I mean, you’ve seen more than they did and you still thought I was… And the twins, well… I’ve never had a good enough relationship with them to even attempt to explain this.”

“And you think we do?”

Izaya laughed at that. “Not necessarily, but after what you just saw, I’m not about to leave you out of the loop as much as it doesn’t want me to tell you.”

“Wait, it doesn’t?”

“How do you think I got this?” Izaya raised his arm, showing Shizuo the cut that he had stitched himself, “I said too much to someone.”

“Okay, hold up… I’m confused.”

“What else is new?” Izaya said with a chuckle, “Hey, listen, I’ll start from the beginning, okay? Let’s just dry off and go back downstairs.”

A few minutes later, the pair had pulled together the scraps of their clothing. Shizuo waited as Izaya paced back and forth for a little while; hand on his chin as he figured out where to start. Finally, he sighed, falling down onto the couch next to Shizuo.

“So are you gonna start talking, or what?” Shizuo asked impatiently.

“Sorry, sorry…” Izaya apologized holding his hands up in a gesture of surrender, “Okay… I guess I can start with what you already know. I’ve been hearing a voice in my head for as long as I can remember. The voice kept trying to convince me to do what it wanted to be able to do itself, but it couldn’t.”

“Back up,” Shizuo interjected, “What did it want to do, and why couldn’t it do it itself?”

“Ah… This is where it’s going to get a bit—“

“Strange? Yeah, it already went there earlier. Just spit it out already.”

“Yes, well… up until middle school, I was only able to listen to its suggestions, but as I got older, I was able to speak with it and carry out conversation. I found out that this voice was more than just that. It’s a supernatural entity—most closely linked to that of a demon—that had attached itself to me because it was unable to survive without a human host. Then one day in middle school…”

Izaya trailed off, not wishing to recall how he had nearly slashed his only friend. He bit his lip, desperately trying to pick the right words to say.

“In middle school… was the first time it actually tried to possess me. I almost attacked Shinra.”

“How come I’ve never heard anything about this before?”

“Not even Shinra knows…” Izaya explained, “His back was to me when it happened. I managed to control myself and get away, and well… I was able to split its soul from me.”

“How did you manage that?” Shizuo raised an eyebrow, leaning forward a bit.

Izaya was beginning to feel a bit better knowing that Shizuo was really listening, and maybe even believing this far-fetched tale. With a bit more confidence, Izaya continued the story.

“While it was attached to me, I technically had all of the same powers that it had, except I had no idea how to use them. I had read somewhere that it had the ability to split souls, and so… I honestly can’t even begin to explain how I did it, but it worked. However it still remained in my body since it still couldn’t survive on its own.”

“Then, does it have a name?”

Izaya closed his eyes. He had known this question would pop up somehow. And he was terrified to give a truthful answer. Shizuo would be angry with him. There was no doubt in his mind about that.

“Izaya? Tell me its name.”

“It’s Sai—“

The words never made it out of his mouth when he was suddenly shoved harshly, causing him to fall off of the couch and nearly hit his head on the coffee table.

 _“THAT’S ENOUGH. NOT ANOTHER WORD.”_ Saika bellowed.

Shizuo was stunned when Izaya abruptly fell from the couch as if he’d been pushed. He quickly kneeled down next to Izaya, helping him to sit up slightly.

“Are you okay?” he asked, looking to his left.

He couldn’t see anything; however, recalling the incident earlier, he decided looking at the reflection of the room was probably a better option.

There he could see image of that other red-eyed Izaya, yelling something that he couldn’t hear, but judging by Izaya’s reaction, he could hear it just fine.

“Would you just be quiet and leave me alone for once?!”

Where Shizuo could only see the frantic gestures in the window, Izaya could hear Saika’s response loud and clear in his mind.

_“I told you to leave him out of this! I told you that you’re not allowed to ask for help!”_

“You can’t tell me what I can and can’t do! Besides, you’re the one who decided to show yourself!”

_“Only because you being so distracted opened your mind up to me so easily. Why wouldn’t I take that opportunity?!”_

“Wh-what?”

_“Your love for him might be protecting you, but your feeble little mind lost focus and went blank in that little instant of human pleasure allowing me to slip in.”_

“Damn it, don’t patronize me, Saika!”

“Saika?” Shizuo repeated, the name sounding so familiar. A moment later, realization hit him. “That thing that attacked all of those people and turned them into slasher freaks?!”

Izaya’s jaw dropped slightly at his own slip up. But there was no lying this time. Shizuo had to know the truth eventually. After all, if Saika hadn’t interrupted, he would have said it anyway.

“Yes, Saika was the one pulling the strings behind the Slasher incident.” Izaya admitted.

“And you knew the whole time?”

He nodded. “I’m sorry I lied to you, but I hope you can understand why. You never would have believed me if I’d told you all of this back then.”

Shizuo could feel a twinge deep down. An urge to hit Izaya so hard that he’d go crashing through the window and fall to the street below for putting him through that shit with the Slasher just a few months ago. However, it was obvious now that he hadn’t done it on purpose and well… as much as he hated to admit it, that confrontation had helped to make him just a bit stronger—just enough to learn to control his anger, even if it was only a little bit.

But he knew that there was no way he’d be able to hurt Izaya now. Not after seeing just how abused he’d been by this voice in his head. By Saika.

Izaya needed his help, and as much as he wanted to get revenge on Izaya for lying to him…

He couldn’t do it.

Not while Izaya was in such desperate need of his help.

He couldn’t just abandon Izaya like this. As much as the Flea drove him crazy, he knew that not even Izaya deserved this kind of mental (and recently physical) torment.

“Shizu-chan…?” Izaya called hesitantly, “Damn it, I knew this would happen…” he muttered to himself.

“Knew what would happen…?” Shizuo asked, snapping out of his thoughts.

“I knew you’d be pissed when you found out about Saika.” Izaya said, lowering his head, “I’m the reason Saika attacked you using the Slasher victims after all.”

“Izaya, I’m not mad.” Shizuo began, continuing after receiving a very confused look from Izaya, “Well, okay, I’m a little bit pissed off, but I’m not about to try and kill you over that. You can’t stop it, right? It’s not your fault if it gets out of your control.”

“Yes, it is. I’m the one who lost my grip on it. I’m the one who lost control.”

“Damn it, that’s your problem. You can’t control _everything_. You’re just one guy. So what if you lose control every once in a while?! It’s never stopped me before! I lose control all the damn time, and as much as I hate myself for it, you don’t see me moping around and letting it get to me! It just means you’re human.”

“But I—“

“Shut your damn mouth for once and let me talk.” Shizuo interjected, “You need to start fighting back. Don’t let it control your life! I’ve listened to you saying for years how much you love humans, now it’s time for you to learn how to _be_ one! People are stubborn, and I damn well know that you can be too! So get a grip on yourself because the more you let this eat you alive, the more it’s going to take advantage of that!”

“Shizu-chan…”

Izaya stared at the man in front of him. He had never realized how similar they both really were. They were both terrified of losing control—even if it wasn’t the same type of control that they craved. Shizuo wanted to control his own emotions and his strength, while Izaya wanted control in every aspect of his life. Especially when it came to suppressing Saika.

Really, they each had something that the other wanted. Izaya was able to keep remotely calm under stress, while Shizuo was completely unaffected by Saika.

Izaya wanted nothing more than to possess that gift of Shizuo’s.

“How about you finish telling me about Saika, okay?”

Izaya glanced around the room, finding that Saika had once again disappeared without a trace.

“Hey,” Shizuo whispered, wrapping an arm around Izaya and pulling him close, “Don’t worry about it. I’ll protect you.”

“You’re right,” Izaya began, “I do need to stand up against it a bit more. But for now… for now I’ll accept your offer.”

They smiled at each other for a moment, enjoying the peace and understanding between them that they had never thought possible until now.

Taking a deep breath, Izaya began speaking again. “Now then, where was I?”


	48. Chapter 48

“Now then, where was I?” Izaya wondered aloud.

“You were talking about middle school and how you and Saika split.” Shizuo said.

“Ah, right,” Izaya shifted himself a bit closer to Shizuo, resting his head on his shoulder, “Well, ever since we split from each other, Saika and I had come to an agreement that in exchange for me allowing it to use my body as a host, it wasn’t allowed to try and possess me.”

“So what changed?”

“Nothing changed at all, actually.” Izaya sighed, “At least when it came to Saika’s mindset. It spent all of those years slowly gathering its strength so that it could one day survive on its own. Oh, that’s the other thing. It also has another piece that it used to start slashing people so that I wouldn’t notice. That’s how the Slasher incident came about.”

“So where’s the other piece?”

“With Sonohara Anri-chan. I believe you’ve met her a few times?”

“Uhh…” Shizuo looked up at the ceiling as he tried to remember.

Izaya laughed, “You’re hopeless! Remember when the Dollars were looking for a girl in a bunny suit. You saved her from some members of the Yellow Scarves.”

“Oh, right. She was at Shinra’s the night I got shot.”

Izaya closed his eyes for a moment, feeling his heart jump at that statement. He’d nearly forgotten about that incident. But if it hadn’t happened, would he have ever come to accept his feelings?

“So it _was_ you then, huh?”

His eyes snapped back open as he quickly turned to see the knowing grin on Shizuo’s face—a look that was typically reserved for his own features rather than the blonde’s.

“You’re much easier to read now that I’m starting to know you better.” Shizuo responded to Izaya’s unvoiced question.

“And this is why I’ve never let anyone get this close to me before…” he mumbled to himself.

“That’s something I’ll never understand about you. Don’t you ever just want to tell someone what you’re feeling? You know, just rant to someone to get it off your chest?”

Izaya shook his head. “Not particularly. My emotions are my own business, and I’m not about to bother someone else about it.”

“But what if someone _wanted_ to listen…?” Shizuo asked tentatively.

“Shizu-chan…?” Izaya tilted his head, “What are you…?”

“What if I said I wasn’t angry anymore about getting shot? And that I’d be willing to listen to you explain yourself a bit more? What if I wanted to hear what you’ve been feeling these past few months and why you were so afraid to explain everything to me until now?”

“You… You’re not angry…?”

“It’s not like I really felt it or anything… It was more of a minor inconvenience for me.” he explained, “So I can forgive you if you open up a bit right now. Keeping your emotions bottled up for too long is another way to end up like me.”

“I’m not bottling anything up, Shizu-chan.”

“Yes, you are. You don’t even realize it, do you? That’s probably how Saika is able to manipulate you so easily lately. It’s pissing you off and you’re not venting. And don’t try to deny it either. I know anger when I see it.”

Izaya could only stare in silence at Shizuo. When the hell did Shizuo learn how to read him so well? Or a better question, when the hell did he let others start to see his emotions? Masaomi seeing him was bad enough, but this…

Perhaps he was slipping more than he thought.

Which of course played right into Saika’s hands considering this is what it wanted him to be all along.

Anxious, angry, and scared.

“Izaya?”

Shaking his head, Izaya looked back towards Shizuo, continuing their conversation be steering it away from his emotions and back to the logical explanations that made him feel much more comfortable.

“Yes, well. As I was saying earlier, since Sonohara Anri’s piece of Saika isn’t directly attached to her body or soul, she didn’t notice when it slipped out and into another body to begin slashing people.”

Shizuo looked slightly annoyed by the sudden subject change, but went along with it anyway. Izaya had to assume it was because he was taking advantage of the fact that he was finally learning the truth.

“Let me guess,” Shizuo cut in, “it got stronger when it slashed more people?”

“Yes.” Izaya said with a short nod, “That’s why it wanted to possess you. It thought that once it had your strength, it would be strong enough to completely defy me, and create its own body.”

“So then what would happen if it did manage that…?”

“If it got out? I can’t tell you exactly. But it would likely continue to build its army. You see, the thing is that Saika loves humans, but in a much different way than I do. It likes to cause them physical pain and it uses that pain and fear to control people. Which is why I think it had trouble getting to you. From my perspective, I notice that you don’t seem to feel either of those things.”

“That’s where you’re wrong.” Shizuo corrected him, speaking softly.

“What?”

“I’m always afraid.” he began solemnly, “Afraid of losing control and hurting someone innocent. Always.”

They were quiet for a moment before Izaya continued. “Maybe that’s why it couldn’t possess you… When Saika initially cuts a person, they feel the pain and become fearful of that. It then uses that fear to invade a person’s mind, convincing them to hurt others. They fear having to hurt people, and that makes it able to get deeper into that person’s mind.”

Izaya paused for a moment, to make sure Shizuo was following him as he continued. “If you’re always afraid of hurting people, then Saika has no real leverage over you. You’re not afraid of the pain, and you’re habituated to having a fear of hurting others; therefore, Saika can’t get into your head.” Izaya nodded to himself as he finished, “I was right in assuming you’d be able to help me then.”

“But how can I help exactly? I thought you said you didn’t know.”

“I don’t, but having someone around who isn’t affected by it is definitely a start. Besides, as I said before, just you being around seems to help me clear my head of it at least a little bit.”

“That’s all well and great and all, but I still have a couple questions. Three, actually.”

“Go on.” Izaya encouraged.

“How did it possess you earlier? How come I could hear it only for a short moment? And most importantly; why the hell did it _kiss_ me?!”

“Ah, well… You see, Shizu-chan, when a person orgasms, the part of the brain that deals with control and reasoning shuts down, which allowed Saika a window to slip in.” Ignoring the light blush that showed on Shizuo’s face at the casual use of the word “orgasm”, Izaya continued. “Honestly, that’s something I should have thought about before hand, but… I don’t think either of us had really considered that a possibility in the moment.”

“I… uhh… I guess that makes sense…”

“As for why you could hear it… I’m not entirely sure, but it probably had something to do with the fact that its strength grows exponentially when it can get a direct line to its hosts’… fear. And the kiss was probably just its way of gloating.”

“So you _were_ afraid, then?”

“Now you just sound like Saika.” he mumbled, “Damn bastard kept trying to make me admit it.”

“And…?” Shizuo pressed.

“What do you mean ‘and’?” Izaya blurted out.

“I want you to tell me how you’ve been feeling, remember? Emotions are tough to deal with, especially ones like fear and anger.”

“What, are you my therapist now?” Izaya asked sarcastically.

Of course, if anyone could understand the type fear and pent up anger he’d been feeling, it would be Shizuo.

Wait, did he just refer to his feelings as ‘pent up anger’?

Maybe he _was_ holding it in a bit too much… But that didn’t mean he needed to talk about it. There were other ways to vent that didn’t involve leaving himself wide open to be read like a book.

“I don’t know about being your therapist, but I think it would be a good idea for you to talk to me considering we _are_ in a relationship now—or whatever you want to call this.”

“I’d rather not.” Izaya replied flatly.

Turning his body away, Izaya leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees, hanging his head.

He hated having people read him. And he hated talking about how he felt even more. He preferred to keep his personal thoughts to himself, which he felt protected him. With his job, he needed to be able to hide his true feelings, otherwise any indication of fear or weakness could leave him open to another’s manipulation.

He’d always prided himself on his ability to remain calm and collected in any situation; however, it seemed that recently, Saika had broken that aspect of him down into mere remains of what it used to be.

He felt vulnerable.

He knew he could trust Shizuo not to use anything against him, but he still didn’t feel safe opening up like that.

“Why are you so against talking? I vent to Celty all the time, and I feel so much better after!”

“It’s just not my thing, okay, Shizu-chan?”

“But—“

“I SAID ‘NO’!” Izaya raised his voice as he leapt from his seat.

In that moment, Shizuo had thought he’d seen Izaya’s eyes flicker crimson for an instant. Before he could determine if it had been a trick of the light or not, Izaya had already turned his back and began walking towards the stairs.

Foot on the first step, Izaya turned his body half way back towards Shizuo. “Shizu-chan,” he said, speaking softly, “I’m sorry. I’m going to bed. It’s… It’s your choice if you want to stay or not.”

Without waiting for a response, Izaya continued up the stairs, leaving Shizuo to stare blankly where he had been standing, listening for the soft _thump_ of the bedroom door closing.


	49. Chapter 49

Shizuo remained on the couch for approximately ten minutes longer, reflecting on what had just transpired.

There was no doubt in his mind that Izaya was bottling up his emotions, and Shizuo knew more than anyone that eventually, Izaya would finally snap for real. Of course, Izaya wasn’t as strong as Shizuo, so there would be much less collateral damage, but that didn’t mean no one would get hurt.

Especially Izaya himself.

For as long as Shizuo knew Izaya, he’d never seen the man lose his calm as much as he had in the past few weeks. It was only a matter of time before he completely loses control. He just wished that Izaya would somehow realize this, swallow his pride, and talk to him.

But for the moment, he figured he might as well be there for Izaya. After all, the Flea was starting to grow on him, and after having sex for the first time…

They have had much bigger fights in the past than the small argument they’d just had. He wasn’t about to walk out on Izaya tonight because of that.

And so, Shizuo headed up the stairs to Izaya’s bedroom, quietly opening the door before slipping inside.

He wasn’t very surprised to see that Izaya was still awake, sitting hunched over the center of the bed, holding his head in his hands.

“You okay…?” Shizuo queried, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Tch. No.” Izaya muttered, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you.”

“Do you think I meant it all those times I snapped at you this past week?” Shizuo pointed out.

Although Shizuo couldn’t see it, a small smile spread over Izaya’s features at that.

A few times when he’d been working, Shizuo had gotten rather annoyed that he was acting so “secretive” and “shady” when Izaya wouldn’t tell him what he was working on.

But still…

Ever since Saika had started acting up, he felt as if his control was slipping bit by bit. And Izaya craved control as if it were a drug. And maybe the surge of emotions he’d been having lately were some form of withdrawal.

“Shizu-chan,” he began, “I know you’re only trying to help, and I really do appreciate that. But I’m just not able to talk about my emotions as freely as you are. It makes me uncomfortable.”

“I understand that, but with all this shit going on, I really think you should. I can’t force you, but I can tell you from experience that it’s not good to keep everything to yourself.”

“I’ll be okay, Shizu-chan. I can handle myself when it comes to this stuff.”

“I know, but it’s not you I’m worried about. It’s Saika.” Shizuo said, running a hand through his hair, “If it’s purposefully trying to mess with your head using your emotions, then it must get some benefit out of it. I just don’t want something bad to happen because you don’t want to talk.”

“I’ll be careful, okay?” Izaya muttered, leaning against Shizuo.

A few minutes were spent just sitting next to each other wordlessly. They soon shifted their positions so that his head was on Shizuo’s chest while Shizuo leaned against the headboard. The only sound in the room was their breathing—Izaya’s growing much slower and steadier by the second as Shizuo lightly ran his fingers through his ebony hair.

But Shizuo couldn’t go to sleep just yet.

Because in a mirror across the room, Shizuo could see Saika standing next to the bed.

It wasn’t doing anything, nor did it look as if it was going to. Instead, it merely stood there, glaring every time Shizuo’s gaze met its crimson eyes in the mirror.

“He’s mine.” Shizuo whispered, still running his fingers through Izaya’s hair, “Don’t you dare touch him.”

He watched Saika as it began walking towards the mirror. Since Shizuo couldn’t hear its voice, Saika bit the tip of its finger, and began writing a message in blood on the mirror.

_“I’ve known him for much longer than you have. And you can’t be there for him all the time. I’m always there. Inside him. You can’t protect him from me for much longer.”_

The message was wiped away just as he finished reading, and with a final sinister grin—much like the one that had shown on Izaya’s face when he’d been possessed—it was gone.

But now Shizuo knew the truth. Although it might seem like it had disappeared, it was still there. Sharing a body with the man he had grown to love.

…~-~…

“Hey, Izaya…?” Shizuo called after Izaya as he cleaned up their plates from breakfast. “I’ve been meaning to tell you something.”

“What might that be, Shizu-chan?” Izaya called back as he began rinsing off the dishes.

“I thought about it a bit last night, and… I love you.”

The sound of dishes falling—which was a familiar one to Shizuo—made a smile creep onto his face as he watched Izaya’s back from the table.

Luckily, the dishes landed in the sink and it didn’t sound like anything broke; however, even if something had broken, that wouldn’t be enough to make Shizuo hold back the laughter that began at Izaya’s reaction.

When Izaya didn’t move for a while, Shizuo made his way into the kitchen, leaning over to try and get a look at Izaya’s face.

If there was an emotion there, Shizuo didn’t recognize it. Izaya’s face was almost completely deadpan other than the way his eyes were closed and his eyebrows slightly raised.

“I mean it, Izaya.” Shizuo said softly, placing a hand on Izaya’s shoulder.

Auburn eyes opened, staring directly ahead when Izaya spoke again.

“Shizuo…” he whispered.

He would have responded if Izaya hadn’t unexpectedly turned and sealed his lips over Shizuo’s, his body pressed close and his arms wrapped tightly around Shizuo’s neck.

Surprised at the sudden reaction, Shizuo was a bit off balance for a moment, but quickly caught himself as well as Izaya, then lowered his hands to rest on Izaya’s hips.

When they parted again, Shizuo began laughing once more. “I take it you’re happy, huh Flea?”

“You’re not just saying that because you feel bad for me, are you…?”

“No. I… I’ve just been thinking about how I like spending time with you, and well… I’ll admit that I might have been a bit wrong about you.”

It was Izaya’s turn to laugh this time. “Actually, you’re intuition was spot on. I’m not exactly the most kind-hearted person you could meet.”

“Maybe so, but for as much as you seem to like fucking up people’s lives, you’ve also been intentionally protecting them from Saika, right? I think if someone had to pick between dealing with you and dealing with Saika… Most would probably pick you.”

“Well then my precious humans have even worse judgment than I thought.”

“No, believe me,” Shizuo said, recalling what had happened last night, “You might be used to Saika’s antics, but to someone who’s never heard about it… It’s pretty creepy. At least you’re human—even if a twisted one.”

“True…” Izaya agreed, “Most people don’t have another sentient being watching their most private moments. I have to tell you, being a teenager with urges was a bit awkward for me. Actually, now that I think about it, up until recently, Saika was able to feel much of what I felt at least when it came to pain… It never mentioned it, but I wonder if it felt the same pleasure as I did…?”

Izaya smiled at the baffled and slightly embarrassed look on Shizuo’s face. And in his peripheral vision, he could see Saika doing the same.

_“What would you do if I said yes?”_

“That was more of a rhetorical question, Saika.” Izaya said aloud. Now that Shizuo knew the truth, he didn’t feel like he had to hide anymore.

Shizuo had momentarily slipped out of his embarrassment to try and comprehend what Saika might have said, only for the slight blush to reappear when he put two and two together.

Saika continued speaking anyway. _“Granted, human pleasure normally wouldn’t do anything for me, but in your body… I have to admit, I did feel something, but not nearly what you did.”_

“Okay, that’s a bit more than I needed to hear.” Izaya raised his hand signaling for Saika to stop.

“What did it say?” Shizuo questioned, looking between Izaya and where he had been looking while talking to Saika.

“Ah, nothing, nothing.” Izaya assured, “I just wish it would always act this pleasant. Then maybe we’d be able to get along.”

“Have you been able to get along with it in the past?” Shizuo asked, finally releasing Izaya from his hold.

“A bit…” Izaya said as he continued his cleaning, “We do both love humans after all. Although our methods for showing that are different, the mutual feeling is still there.”

“Damn thing is still creepy though…” Shizuo muttered.

“You have no idea.” Izaya replied.

Except Shizuo did have an idea now. After seeing what Saika wrote on the mirror, and seeing how it merely sits there, staring…

It was quite unsettling, and after witnessing that for one night, he could understand why Izaya had been so afraid those times he asked him to stay the night.

And that was also the reason he didn’t want to leave now.

“Will you be okay while I’m working today?” he asked.

Tom had mentioned that he would be needed a bit longer than usual today, and ever since reading Saika’s message, he wasn’t sure if he should go.

“ _You can’t be there for him all the time. I’m always there.”_

Those words echoed in his head all night, keeping him up for quite some time.

“I’ll be fine, Shizu-chan.” Izaya said, breaking up Shizuo’s thoughts, “I can handle myself until you get back.”

He wasn’t sure if he should tell Izaya about his and Saika’s conversation. He figured it would be better not to tell Izaya anything that might make him fear Saika any more than he already did. After all, that’s how it got stronger, right?

Since there was nothing he could say to justify skipping out of work without making Izaya’s situation even worse, Shizuo said goodbye, and headed out the door, stopping half way out.

“Text me every hour so I know you’re okay, got that?”

Izaya smiled. “You don’t have to worry so much. But okay, I will.”


	50. Chapter 50

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still pissed that the season 2 writers cut out Tsukumoya Shinichi... I really wanted to see him pissing off Izaya by being a sassy piece of shit.

“[Izaya? Is everything okay? It’s been over an hour.]”

Sighing, Izaya smiled at the text he’d just received. He’d been sending random texts to Shizuo every hour just as he had asked to let him know he was doing fine, but he’d recently lost track of time.

“[Sorry, I got caught up in work for a little while there. I’m fine! You really don’t have to worry so much!]”

“[Yes I do. The damn thing seems to do the most damage when you’re alone, and if it’s getting stronger, I’d prefer not to leave you alone with it.]”

“[I’ve been alone with it all my life, Shizu-chan. You get back to what you’re doing, and I’ll text you again in an hour, okay?]”

“[Okay.]”

As much as Izaya would have preferred not to be alone right now, there wasn’t much he could do. He didn’t want to keep Shizuo from working considering it sounded like he was really needed today, and Namie had decided to take advantage of her days off to leave on a vacation with Seiji.

And so he continued to work, answering emails, sending and receiving new information, building files to be sent out, and receiving payment for completed jobs.

Yes, it felt as if his life was getting back to normal, if only for a few hours. Saika had been quiet for today as well. He knew that the bastard was probably planning something, but at this point there was nothing he could do to prepare himself when he had no idea what might be coming, so he merely continued his work in peace.

Izaya opened the next email containing details of a job which required him to look into a particular police officer by the name of Takumi Yamamoto.

He was suspected of helping to cover up a drug scandal, and so Izaya was asked to look further into this, and give a report. However, he was having a bit of difficulty finding a reliable trail, forcing him to have to contact someone he would have preferred to avoid at the moment.

**Orihara Izaya, reborn!**

**Tsukumoya Shinichi  
** Ah, I was wondering when I might be hearing from you again, Orihara. It’s been a while.

 **Orihara Izaya**  
Yes, it’s been a while, but I can’t chat for too long. I’m very busy today.

 **Tsukumoya Shinichi  
** Oh? Well before we get into that, I have something I need to ask. I hear that you and Shizuo have been seen in public together. Might I ask what’s going on between you two?

 **Orihara Izaya**  
I’m not surprised that you’re aware of that; however, that’s not why I’m here, and I would prefer to only talk business right now.

 **Tsukumoya Shinichi  
** You know, I have always wondered about you. There have been rumors that you bat for the same team, but I personally wouldn’t have thought Shizuo would be the same.

 **Orihara Izaya  
** If you already know what’s going on between me and him, why are you asking for my confirmation?

 **Tsukumoya Shinichi  
** So it is true then?

 **Tsukumoya Shinichi  
** To be honest, I was never quite sure with you considering you rarely talk about your love life with me, if at all.

 **Orihara Izaya**  
And I’d prefer to keep it that way. Now what can you tell me about Takumi Yamamoto?

 **Tsukumoya Shinichi  
** Ah, yes, rumor has it he’s been helping out with some drug deals. I assume that’s what you’re looking for?

 **Orihara Izaya**  
Yes.

 **Tsukumoya Shinichi  
** I’m surprised you need my help on this one. Are you losing your touch? Maybe you’re sick. A few of my sources tell me you’ve been looking rather ragged as of late.

 **Orihara Izaya**  
Just give me the information I need so I can get back to work.

 **Tsukumoya Shinichi  
** So those sources are spot-on, hm?

 **Orihara Izaya**  
Tsukumoya…

 **Tsukumoya Shinichi  
** Okay, yes, as I’m sure you could have figured out, Yamamoto is involved in the deals, however he isn’t the one who’s been covering them up. A friend of his is a part of a new yakuza group under the name Nakamura-kai. I’m sure you’ve heard of them. From what I hear, you were involved in a little spat involving them and the Awakusu that ended rather interestingly, if I am correct.

 **Orihara Izaya  
** Give me names.

 **Tsukumoya Shinichi  
** Not so fast. I want to hear from you what you’ve been up to with Shizuo lately.

 **Orihara Izaya**  
Does my personal life interest you so much? I thought you had better things to do other than this…

 **Tsukumoya Shinichi  
** Oh, of course I have better things to do. But still, the thought of you potentially being romantically involved with anyone other than your own reflection is quite an interesting thought.

 **Orihara Izaya**  
Funny. But fine, if you really want to know, then yes. Shizuo and I are currently “dating” if you can call it that. If you want to know more, I’m sure you’ll be able to figure it out on your own. Now just tell me what I need to know, so I can get back to work.

 **Tsukumoya Shinichi  
** I think I will have to look into this a bit more. I’m curious as to how you two manage to stop fighting long enough to get into a heated battle of tongues. Honestly, the thought of you two together like that disgusts me a bit.

 **Orihara Izaya**  
What, are you jealous or something? You want me all to yourself, don’t you?

 **Tsukumoya Shinichi  
** No, no, I’m just having trouble fathoming how you two could manage to change so suddenly.

 **Orihara Izaya  
** Well, that’s something I can’t give you an answer to. But I told you what you wanted, so give me my information so I can get on with my life.

 **Tsukumoya Shinichi  
** Okay, okay. His name is Yuu Saito, and he’s the one who’s the brains behind the drug operation. He’s an executive of the Nakamura-kai, as you probably know since the Awakusu commissioned you to look into them.

 **Orihara Izaya  
** Thank you. I’ll be going now.

 **Tsukumoya Shinichi  
** I’ll be here next time you need me.

 **Orihara Izaya  
** I know. You always are. Twenty-four seven, ne? Until next time.

**Orihara Izaya, confirmed dead!**

Izaya sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He’d known Tsukumoya would ask about Shizuo, but he didn’t think he’d be so adamant about it. But either way, he got the information he needed, and now he could continue with his work.

…After he texts Shizuo again.

He’d already killed an hour without realizing it.

“[Hey Shizu-chan, I’m still doing fine, okay?]”

“[Alright, thanks.]”

Izaya set his phone down, ready to get back to work when it buzzed again with another message from Shizuo.

“[I love you.]”

He froze with the phone in his hand. It was strange how those three simple words made his spirits raise while at the same time made his stomach flip as he typed his response.

“[I love you too.]”

…~-~…

It was getting late by the time Izaya had finally managed to work his way down his list of emails. He’d saved one in particular for last considering it required him to meet with a client over in Ikebukuro. By the time the meeting was over, he was exhausted. And it didn’t help that the meeting place had been an under kept bar filled with middle aged men, each smoking as if the disgusting smelling smoke was as good for them as oxygen. It had given him a headache, and now he was thankful to be outside again, with a bit of extra cash weighing down his wallet.

Pulling out his phone, Izaya sent out a quick text before continuing down the street.

“[Hey, Shizu-chan. Work brought me to the area, so if you’re done we can meet up!]”

A minute later, he got a response.

“[Just finished up. Where are you?]”

Izaya sent a text with his location before turning into a nearby alley, and leaning up against the wall.

His headache was getting worse, and he was starting to feel a bit of vertigo. He wondered if it might be because he’d skipped dinner, but that theory was quickly disproven when he heard laughter erupt inside his head.

…~-~…

Shizuo smiled when he realized how close he already was to Izaya. Just a few blocks away.

He quickly spun around and headed in that direction, steps faltering slightly when a raindrop fell on the top of his head. It had looked as if it was going to rain all day, and now it seemed he and Izaya might get caught in a downpour.

Walking faster, Shizuo silently cursed himself for not stopping home to get an umbrella on his break. He personally didn’t mind the rain, but now that Izaya was out here too, he felt as if he should have something to keep the two of them dry.

But those thoughts swiftly faded when he made it to Izaya’s location only to find that he was nowhere to be seen. He spun around for a moment, trying to figure out where Izaya might have gone only for his gaze to land on a nearby alley.

“Don’t tell me…” He mumbled to himself recalling the last time he’d found Izaya in an alley as he headed in that direction.

…~-~…

His awareness was fading fast. There wasn’t much else he could do to hold on as the pain in his head made it hard to focus on anything.

His vision was dim, and all he could hear was the sound of blood rushing as his heart pounded in his chest. His throat tightened, making it difficult to breathe when his vision finally went completely black.

He felt sick. Stomach churning, he probably would have thrown up already if there was anything in his stomach at the moment.

‘Shizuo…’ he thought through his pounding head, ‘help me…’

Completely disoriented, he could feel his body begin to move on its own.

“Izaya?”

That voice… it’s Shizuo’s voice…

“Izaya, are you okay…?”

His hand slipped into his pocket, gripping his flick blade.

Shizuo was coming closer. He could hear his footsteps.

He tried to speak, but not even his vocal cords would listen to his will.

This was different than any other time Saika had possessed him. Usually, he would begin to black out completely, but this…

This was torture.

His hands opened the blade, and he could feel his body begin to move into a fighting stance.

‘Stay away, Shizuo. Please.’

He desperately wanted to speak those words, but Saika wouldn’t let him.

Instead, he ran at Shizuo, slicing his shoulder when the blonde dodged the attack that was aimed for his chest. His heart specifically.

Saika was trying to end this. It wanted Shizuo dead.

“Izaya, if you can hear me, fight it!” he heard Shizuo call through his frantic mind.

‘I’m trying, Shizuo.’

“I know you can do it.”

‘I can’t…’

“Damn it!” Shizuo cursed as another slice was made on his arm.

And then someone else was speaking. He panicked when he realized that the voice he was hearing was his own, and that it was his mouth that was moving according to Saika’s will.

“Give up Shizuo. Just let me kill you. I promise I’ll make it quick.”

“Saika, leave him alone. He’s not your plaything.”

“Oh?” Saika continued, “Is he yours then? How do you know he really loves you?”

“He said—“

“He says a lot of things. He’s a good actor, you know? How do you know he hasn’t been lying to you all this time?”

‘Saika, please stop this…’

“I… I trust him.”

Laughter filled the alley for a moment before Saika continued. “Trust?! Izaya?! I’m the one with a direct link to his heart. I know how he really feels about you. He’s _using_ you. Like he uses everyone else. He only wants you to help him get rid of me, then he’ll dump your ass on the streets.”

“That’s a lie.” Shizuo said through gritted teeth, picking up the nearest trashcan.

“Ah! No, no! You wouldn’t want to hurt Izaya now, would you? He’s still in here!”

“That’s low. Using him as a shield like that. You’re pathetic.”

“Am I?” Saika asked, tilting Izaya’s head innocently, “Clearly you don’t know what I’m capable of. Once I have my own body, I’ll be able to take over this entire city in a day. Easily. Do you really want to get on my bad side, Heiwajima Shizuo?”

“That won’t happen.”

“You think so? Do you know how much power I can gain, just from possessing Izaya for this short amount of time? Oh, yes… You wanted to know about his feelings yes? Well let me tell you, he’s so afraid right now. He’s _terrified_ of me. I can feel him trying so hard in vain to take his body back. Oh I wish you could feel his sweet fear…”

“Shut up.”

“Oh, did I strike a nerve? Are you going to try and hit me now? Or maybe you’ll let me kill you…?”

“Why don’t you come at me and find out.” Shizuo challenged.

“Hmm… I don’t know… What do you think, Izaya?”

‘Stop this! Saika, _please_!’ he thought, desperately trying to break through Saika’s hold.

“Do you want me to kill him, Izaya…?” Saika asked, raising a hand out towards Shizuo.

‘No! Don’t! Leave him alone!’

There was a loud crash as Shizuo was shoved against the alley wall by an invisible force—much stronger than when Saika had used it on Izaya.

Izaya watched in horror as Shizuo winced in pain when his head hit the wall, a decent sized dent in the bricks left from the impact.

‘NO!’

…~-~…

Shizuo was shocked when he was suddenly thrown off of his feet against the wall. He was still a bit dazed when suddenly Izaya’s face was inches away from his own, with Saika’s bright red eyes showing through.

He knew Izaya was in there. He just had to find a way to get him to fight harder.

But before he could even begin to think of what to do, Saika slammed its fist into his abdomen painfully hard. It seemed that when Saika was in control of Izaya’s body, it was able to make Izaya’s attacks much stronger.

“Against my children you seemed to be strong. However I am much stronger than them. Izaya’s human limitations stop me from reaching my full potential, but that won’t last much longer.”

“You’re underestimating Izaya.” Shizuo said, staring into those glowing red eyes. “He’s much stronger than you give him credit.”

“Hah.” Saika laughed, reaching out to wrap a hand around Shizuo’s throat.

Shizuo remained calm as his airway was cut off, unwilling to give Saika the satisfaction it was hoping for.

“Look at you. You won’t even fight me because you don’t want to hurt Izaya. Well I have news for you.” Saika raised the hand holding Izaya’s knife. Its eyes seemed to glow brighter as thunder rumbled overhead and the rain finally began falling to the streets. “You can’t protect him if you’re dead.”

The blade descended half way towards Shizuo’s chest when Saika suddenly stopped, the grin spreading over Izaya’s face in stark contrast to the tears that fell from eyes that continued to glow brightly.

“Ah, he’s crying… Don’t you just love it when he cries? It’s so satisfying to feel him crack under the pressure and turn into one of those weak little humans he claims to love so much. But I love them so much more…”

Saika continued prattling on, but Shizuo couldn’t listen to what it had to say. Not while those tears continued to fall down Izaya’s face.

Can he really not fight back? Is Saika’s hold on him really that strong?

Fuck it. Izaya needed his help. He would be able to live with a few bruises.

As Saika said, its strength was limited in Izaya’s body. Shizuo was still stronger.

Grasping the wrist of the hand around his neck, Shizuo forced Saika’s grip to loosen. When a look of surprise was followed by the knife descending once again, Shizuo grabbed that wrist too.

He tried not to use too much of his strength as he forced Saika up against the wall, switching their positions.

Red eyes widened in surprise when Shizuo held Izaya’s hands together above his head with one hand, forcing the knife out of his grasp with the other.

He took one last moment to stare into those tear-filled eyes, looking past the red glow in an attempt to silently assure Izaya that everything was going to be alright.

Holding Izaya’s jaw still, Shizuo sealed his lips against Izaya’s, feeling the way Saika fought the kiss with every bit of its strength. It thrashed and kicked, trying to escape, but Shizuo only deepened the kiss in response, pinning the body under him with his own legs.

Gradually, the thrashing grew weaker, Izaya’s body began to relax, and the familiar sensation of Izaya’s tongue moving against his own began. Loosening his grip, Shizuo felt Izaya’s arms fall to rest around the back of his neck as they usually did.

He had Izaya back.


	51. Chapter 51

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluff. And lots of swearing on Izaya's part.

Taking Izaya’s face in his hands, Shizuo separated their lips so he could get a good look at Izaya’s face. Tears continued to fall, mixing with the rain that made his hair stick to his forehead. He brushed a few strands out of those eyes—Izaya’s auburn eyes, not those revolting red ones—before resting his forehead against Izaya’s.

“Shizu-chan…” he whimpered.

“It’s okay,” Shizuo whispered in response, pulling Izaya into a tight embrace, “I’m here for you.”

Izaya pressed himself closer as a few choked back sobs slipped past his lips.

“Are you hurt?” he asked, feeling the way Izaya’s body shook in his arms.

“N-no…” Izaya responded shakily, “But you are… Your arm… I’m sorry… I—”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m fine. Saika doesn’t affect me, remember?”

But Shizuo was now starting to doubt that. He hadn’t called attention to it, but when Saika cut him using Izaya’s knife…

He’d been afraid.

Afraid for Izaya.

And he felt some semblance of _something_ creeping into his head when that blade drew blood.

However his anger at Saika managed to keep him focused, but he could still feel it seeping into him just slightly.

But he didn’t want to let Izaya know just yet. He had enough to worry about, and Shizuo was fairly confident that Saika wouldn’t be able to get to him. He knew what made it stronger, so he’d just have to keep focus and he’d be fine. After all, if it had enough power to possess him, it would have done so already.

“I’m cold.” Izaya whispered, drawing Shizuo’s attention back to the shivering man in his arms.

They were both drenched, and it didn’t seem like the rain was going to let up any time soon.

“Come on,” Shizuo said, guiding Izaya with his arm around the back of his shoulders, “Let’s get back to my place so you can rest.”

“Okay…” Izaya quietly agreed.

…~-~…

When they finally made it back, Shizuo was able to see just how terrible Izaya really looked in proper light.

Wet hair lay flat against his head while soaked clothing clung to his body, making him look even smaller than normal. There were dark circles under eyes which looked a bit red and puffy and fought to stay open even as he walked. He was shaking from head to toe, and was beginning to look a bit paler than usual, prompting Shizuo to have to ask…

“Are you okay?”

Izaya nodded as he followed Shizuo inside, heading towards the bathroom. “Yeah, I’m just… really tired. Saika likes to use my energy for stunts like what it did to you.”

“Bastard…” Shizuo mumbled under his breath as he began helping Izaya out of his wet clothes.

Grabbing a towel, Shizuo began drying Izaya’s hair and face, pausing for a moment to stare into those tired eyes. He definitely looked like something had zapped his energy. And he wasn’t sure if it was because Izaya was so tired, or maybe he just trusted Shizuo enough to let his guard down a bit, but he had never been able to see this much emotion in Izaya’s eyes before now.

“You’re sure you’re feeling okay…?” Shizuo pressed, seeing a pain in Izaya’s expression that he couldn’t even begin to figure out where to start listing off what Izaya might be feeling.

A small smile appeared on Izaya’s face at the question. “I’ll be fine, Shizu-chan. I just need to rest.”

Shizuo stood still for a few moments, studying Izaya’s expression, mainly the forced smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

With a sigh, Shizuo began removing his own wet clothes as well before grabbing a towel for himself and heading out the door.

“I’ll go get us some clean clothes.”

When he returned, Izaya helped him bandage his hard-to-reach wounds (all very minor much to Izaya’s relief), before getting dressed.

Only a few minutes later, Izaya found himself once again wearing Shizuo’s clothes and eating a hot meal on the man’s couch. Except this time, Izaya was seated comfortably between Shizuo’s legs, with his back pressed against the blonde’s chest as he held a bowl of instant noodles in his hands.

Between Shizuo being so close, and the food, Izaya was quickly warming up and feeling much more comfortable. Even more so when Shizuo began running his fingers through Izaya’s hair, lightly massaging as he went so that by the time he was finished with his meal, he was practically falling asleep lying against Shizuo.

“Mmn… Ne, Shizu-chan…?” Izaya began groggily.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you. For earlier.”

“You don’t need to thank me for that.” Shizuo responded.

“Yes, I do.” Izaya said, turning onto his side to look up at the blonde, “Saika hurt you. And I don’t just mean physically. And just to be clear, none of that crap it said about me using you was true.”

“I know that, idiot.” Shizuo assured, lightly squeezing Izaya in his arms.

“Also…” Izaya added, “I… I feel pathetic.”

“Wh-what?” Shizuo stuttered, “Why?”

“Hey, you’re the one who wanted me to talk about how I feel, so don’t go questioning it when I do.”

“Does… does that mean you want to talk…?”

Izaya was silent for a moment, thinking. “A bit… But I…”

He struggled for a moment, not used to having to put his feelings into words. He never had a reason to until now.

“Go on…” Shizuo encouraged.

“The reason I don’t want to talk… It has nothing to do with you personally, it’s just that… It makes me feel… well… exposed in a way… I don’t know how to describe it. I just feel vulnerable. As you know, I don’t typically make connections with people like this, so I’m used to keeping my thoughts and feelings to myself, do you understand?”

“Yeah, I do.” Shizuo confirmed.

“I like to be in control. I know that I can’t control everything, but it satisfies me to control as much of my own life as I can. And that includes my own emotions. I’m not like you when it comes to that. I can’t just let go and vent to anyone. I’ve spent years building up defenses to keep people out of my head. It allows me to watch humans in a way that keeps me detached from them, and also helps me in my job as an informant. I can’t let people be able to read me, so over the years I’ve just picked up this habit of… keeping everything inside, and… Ugh! This is why I can’t do this! Nobody cares about my damn life story, so why should I let them in?”

“I care.” Shizuo pointed out, “I’m listening to you now, and I want to hear what you have to say. Please, Izaya. I understand it’s uncomfortable for you, but… Let me in. Let me in so I can help you.”

“But how the hell do I start? I’ve never told anyone any of this stuff before.”

“You said the same about Saika, and you managed to fill me in on that.” Shizuo noted, “How about this. Start with how you’re feeling right now. At this very moment. And don’t leave anything out.”

“I’m… Well, I feel pathetic and weak because I let Saika control me that easily, and I’m nervous and scared that it might happen again, and I’m angry because I’m letting Saika control my emotions like this, and… fuck I really can’t do this.”

“No, you’re doing fine. Just say whatever you think will make you feel better in the long run.”

“I just don’t want that fucking _thing_ anywhere near my humans!” Izaya blurted out, “I can’t stand hearing it go on and on _and on_ about how much it wants to see me fear it, and how much it wants to cut people and how it loves people so fucking much as if I haven’t already heard it over and over since I was a fucking toddler! And then it keeps laughing at me whenever I’m afraid when it damn well knows that I have every right to be when I think my life is threatened by something that lives inside my own body! Maybe I wouldn’t be so afraid if I could actually escape from it once in a while and have a few minutes of fucking peace in my head before it starts prattling on and on about every little fucking thing that comes to its mind—!”

_“I can hear you, you know.”_

“—AND I FUCKING KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME, SAIKA! JUST SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE FOR ONCE IN YOUR MEANINGLESS EXISTANCE!”

Izaya sat still for a moment, panting as he realized that he had slammed his fist into the back of the couch when Saika had interrupted.

“Wow.” Shizuo said under his breath as Izaya finished, “Better?”

Izaya closed his eyes for a moment, taking a few deep breaths to calm down. “I… y-yeah…”

“We should go to bed.” he suggested, “I bet you’re exhausted.”

Nodding, Izaya allowed himself to be carried into the bedroom. Lying down with his back pressed against Shizuo’s body, he closed his eyes when Shizuo pulled him closer draping his arm over his waist and pressing his hand against Izaya’s chest, holding him securely in place.

Izaya quickly began to relax down to a point where he could barely keep his eyes open.

“Shizu-chan…?” he mumbled into the pillow.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks… for listening…”

Shizuo smiled at the pause between words as if Izaya was struggling to stay awake to say them.

“Any time, Izaya.” he responded.

“I… really was scared… when Saika possessed me like that… I didn’t think… it was going to let go… I thought it was… going to kill you…”

“I won’t die. Not while that bastard is still living. You got that? I’ll keep fighting with you. We won’t let it win.”

“Yeah… sounds… great…”

Izaya’s words trailed off into steady breathing as he fell asleep, Shizuo following shortly after as he quickly succumbed to the temptation to rest. Tomorrow was another day. Another day closer to figuring out how to kill Saika. Another day closer to saving Izaya from this torment.

And there was no way he was going to let Saika win. He’d kill the damn thing and untangle Izaya from its hold.


	52. Chapter 52

Izaya woke the next morning to Shizuo’s alarm, still tucked comfortably between Shizuo and the sheets. He heard an incoherent mumble from behind him and felt the body against his shift slightly as Shizuo woke up.

Reaching over Izaya, Shizuo shut off the alarm before lying back in place, pressing his face against the back of Izaya’s neck and breathing deeply, causing Izaya to have to suppress a pleasured shudder at the feeling of Shizuo’s breath against the nape of his neck.

“Maybe I won’t go in to work today…” Shizuo said, lightly running his hand down Izaya’s side, “I don’t want to leave you alone with that thing.”

“You’ve been busy lately though, right?” Izaya responded lazily, trying to form a coherent sentence through Shizuo the light touches sending electricity through his system.

“Yeah, but helping you is much higher on my list of things to do. I’m thinking about taking some time off…”

“Well then why don’t you go in today, and get one more day in before that then? I’ll wait for you here.”

“I still don’t want you to be alone. Not after last night.”

“I was tired.” Izaya pointed out, “I wasn’t focused, otherwise it wouldn’t have gotten to me that easily.”

There was a pause as Shizuo considered his options. “What if I just went in for half the day then…?”

“Sounds fine to me.” Izaya mumbled, closing his eyes again, “I might go back to sleep for a little while though.”

“Go ahead. You’ll be here when I come back?”

“Yeah.”

…~-~…

When Izaya woke again, Shizuo was already gone. He stretched out on the bed for a moment before his phone rang, displaying the name “Shiki” on the screen.

Sighing, Izaya pressed the “answer” button.

“Good morning, Shiki-san.” he said cheerfully.

“Now isn’t the time for idle chat, Orihara-san,” Shiki began, “I heard that you might have found a lead connecting the police to the Nakamura-kai. I need you to send me that information immediately.”

“Alas, I am away from my computer at the moment. Could this possibly wait until later, Shiki-san?”

“I wish it could, Orihara-san, but they’re starting to act up again.”

“Okay, okay… Can you give me an hour?”

“As long as it’s not any later than that.” Shiki warned.

“It won’t be.”

Once the conversation ended, Izaya pulled himself out of Shizuo’s bed, took a shower, and got dressed. On his way out the door, he decided it would be best to call Shizuo so he wouldn’t be worried coming home to an empty apartment.

“Izaya? Everything okay?” Shizuo answered.

“Yes, yes. I’m fine. But I have to head back home for a little while. Some unexpected work came up that I can’t delay.”

“Yakuza shit?” Shizuo questioned.

“Yeah. I just need to send out a file I already have made, so it won’t take long. I just wanted to let you know.”

“Should I just meet you at your place when I get off work then?”

“Sure. We can go out for dinner or something. My treat. See you later!”

Without waiting for Shizuo’s protest at getting another free meal off of the informant, Izaya ended the call, continuing on his way home.

‘Saika?’ he called in his thoughts, ‘No funny business, you got that? I know that you know how much trouble I’d be in if Shiki doesn’t get this report. And trouble for me still means the same for you, remember?’

_“I know…”_

‘I’m serious, Saika.’ Izaya continued, not trusting the short response.

Izaya forced back the small bit of dread that crept through him when Saika didn’t say anything else. It was up to something. And he couldn’t help but wonder what that might be.

But he couldn’t focus on that now. He just had to get this job for Shiki done quickly, and then he could deal with whatever Saika had to dish out.

…~-~…

“Yes, I just sent the email.” Izaya informed.

“Forty-five minutes. Well done. You will receive payment as usual.”

Izaya leaned back in his chair after hanging up with Shiki, thanking a God he didn’t believe in that he’d managed to complete the job without interference.

And it was just then that there was a knock on the door.

Before he could even check the camera to see who it was, Saika was there. Shooting a grin Izaya’s way, it opened the door, allowing a girl to step inside.

He wasn’t sure which was happening faster. The beating of his heart, or the thoughts flying through his head.

Because it wasn’t just any girl entering his apartment.

It was Sonohara Anri.

“Anri-chan…?” Izaya questioned, “May I ask what you’re doing here…?”

“I… I don’t…” she stammered before gathering her wits, “Saika told me that you were coming up with another plan like before. And if that’s true, I’m here to stop you.”

“Saika did…?” The pieces fell together instantly, and Izaya knew he had to react fast. “Anri, I’m not planning anything. You need to get out of here now. It’s a trap.”

“Don’t try to trick me.” She warned, eyes beginning to glow with that red color he so despised.

“Wait!”

But it was too late. Anri had already drawn the blade, pointing it towards Izaya.

Yet nothing happened…

“Put it away,” Izaya advised.

“Not until I cut you. You got away before, but I don’t trust you. I can’t have you doing whatever you want, so I will have to control you.”

Izaya dodged the first attack as the blade sliced the air where he had just been standing.

“Anri, you have to listen to me for a moment. You don’t want to do this. It’s just Saika telling you to.”

“What would you know about it?” She asked, attacking again.

Izaya sidestepped the attack as he continued, “A lot actually. I’m just like you. Saika is in me too!”

“What…?”

_“ENOUGH.”_

They both turned towards the source of the yell. Saika had appeared off to the side, looking back and forth between its two hosts.

_“Anri. Stop hesitating and cut him. Now!”_

Izaya could see the sudden vacancy in Anri’s eyes as she turned back to face him. Raising her blade, she came at him once again, this time much quicker, and with much more force. Izaya dodged the katana once again by the breadth of a hair; however, the attack did not stop with a single slice. The blade continued to slice the air in front of him— _much_ too close for comfort as Izaya continued to be forced back.

That is, until Saika commanded Anri to stop.

Izaya tried to catch his breath for a moment, ready to keep fighting only for Saika to suddenly appear behind him, tightly grasping his arms, effectively holding him in place.

_“Now cut him.”_

He struggled.

He kicked, twisted his body, tried to pull his arms free, and yelled obscenities at Saika as Anri approached.

But Saika still held on tight.

‘This is it.’ he thought, ‘It’s going to kill me.’

Fear flooded his senses.

He couldn’t think.

He couldn’t _breathe_.

The sound of rushing blood pounded in his ears.

This was it.

Saika would kill him and get its own body.

It would take all of his humans under its control and make them its children.

It would probably kill Shizuo as well…

_“That’s it. Right in the heart.”_

When Anri positioned the katana in front of his chest, Izaya wanted to scream.

But he couldn’t scream. Because he couldn’t remember how to inhale the air required to do so.

The blade stabbed forward, and then there was pain.

He didn’t want to know what it looked like, but his eyes opened anyway.

The blade stuck inside his chest, only there was no blood. In fact, it didn’t even seem like it pierced his skin. Instead, there was a bright red glow emanating from where the blade had embedded itself.

Another wave of pain shot through him when something like an electric charge sent Anri flying to the ground a few meters away.

She regained consciousness immediately.

“I-Izaya-san!”

Izaya watched in horror as the red glow began to spread down the entire blade, and then began sinking further into his chest.

It hurt. And he knew it had “pierced” his heart, yet it was still beating…

He turned his head to see that the blade had stabbed into Saika at the same spot, skewering the two of them as it continued to sink into Izaya’s chest, and out his back before entering Saika’s chest. Only it never came out its back.

‘This is it…’ he thought, ‘it’s taking back the other piece.’

Izaya began struggling once again as soon as that realization hit him, but Saika held him firmly. In fact, its grip was only getting stronger.

Soon enough, it was only the handle slowly moving through Izaya’s body, taking with it Saika’s soul. Steadily, Saika’s imitation body was making its way completely into the physical world.

Finally, the pain stopped, and Izaya was thrown to the ground. His limbs felt weak as he tried to pull himself off the ground.

“Izaya-san, what’s happening?” Anri asked, seemingly frozen on the spot.

His attention shifted for just a moment. He’d almost forgotten Anri was still here.

“Get out of here!” he yelled, “Now, before it tries to kill you.”

“But what about you…?”

“I’ll deal with it. You’ll only get in the way if you stay here. Just get out before you become more involved than you already are.”

How the girl could still harbor such a worried expression towards him after all he’d done was a mystery. Yet with that troubled expression, she looked between the two “Izayas”, nodded, and ran.

“Good call.” Saika began, picking Izaya up by the back of his shirt, “It’s unusual for you to think about the well being of others.”

“So says you.” Izaya responded, batting Saika’s hand away, “I’ve been protecting the city from you, haven’t I?”

“And what a good job you’ve done. Because now I’m free from you. I’m free to do whatever I want. If your goal was to protect your humans, you’ve failed.”

He was pretty sure he physically felt something snap in his head at that statement.

Rage controlled his actions as he flung himself at Saika, tackling it to the ground. They both hit the floor hard, Saika taking the brunt of the fall. Saika flipped their positions with ease, slamming Izaya’s back against the floor.

“Ah, sorry, are you angry? Have I upset you? Oh, let me tell you, it feels so good to have my own mind rather than living off of yours!”

“Fuck you.” Izaya spat, quickly pulling his knife from his pocket, he slashed at Saika, the blade slicing through part of its arm and across its chest.

Saika flinched at the pain, its hold weakening enough for Izaya to slip out of its grip.

“You… cut me…? Ha… HAHAHAHAHA!”

Izaya watched as the wounds he’d inflicted quickly began to repair themselves into a faint line before disappearing completely.

“If only you’d have done that to my humans when I told you to. Otherwise we wouldn’t be in this mess right now.”

“ _Your_ humans?! Oh, no. Saika, you’re sorely mistaken. They were never yours. Humans are mine. I refuse to hand them over without a fight.”

“So it’s a fight you want?” Saika began with a grin, “Now that I’m complete again, Izaya, I’m afraid you don’t stand a chance.”

“We’ll see about that.”

Izaya ran at Saika again, just barely managing to dodge the first punch aimed at his gut. The second, however, was a solid hit.

He was sent flying back a distance, landing harshly on his shoulder. Holding back a groan at the pain, Izaya stood once more, holding his knife out in defense.

This time, Saika made the advance, easily managing to grab Izaya by the arm, and throw him back to the floor before adding a sharp kick to his abdomen.

Izaya’s strength in fighting came from speed. He was simply faster than most of his opponents, and his parkour abilities allowed him to use his environment to his advantage.

But he didn’t have that when fighting Saika.

Saika didn’t have human limitations.

It was much faster, and much stronger than he could ever be.

And there wasn’t much in his home to aid him in the fight either.

Gripping the back of his head, Saika pulled Izaya’s hair to bring him up to his knees. Bending down, Saika put itself face to face with its ex-host, smiling at the way Izaya continued to struggle against him.

“Even when you know hope is lost, you still continue to fight… You really are more human than you think.”

Pain still flaring through his body, Izaya raised his knife once again, stabbing it into Saika’s chest.

“That’s your response, then?” Saika questioned as Izaya pulled the blade out, preparing to try again, “No vehement denial, or hurtful words? Has Shizuo really gotten into your head that much?”

As Izaya brought the knife down again, Saika caught his arm with its free hand. Izaya watched as the blood on the blade slowly began dripping off, flowing back towards the wound as it healed.

“Yeah, I’m human,” Izaya began, “I’m stubborn as fuck, I fear death, and most of all I long for the afterlife. Yes, I’m human. And because of that fact, I can love humans more than you ever could.”

“And what about Shizuo? You said yourself he was a monster.”

“I was wrong. He’s human too. And a damn well more decent one than I deserve. But mark my words, Saika. If you harm him in any way, I will make sure you suffer.”

“You seriously still think you can win this? I have my own body. I have my own power. I don’t need your heart to beat for mine to continue. And this pathetic little knife of yours can’t hurt me. You’re weak. Just like everyone else, and you will grow old and die like everyone else. That is, assuming that you don’t try to stop me. Otherwise your end might come a bit sooner than expected.”

“SAIKA!”

They both turned in the direction of the voice. While a light smile appeared on Izaya’s face, a scowl covered Saika’s.

“Get away from him.” Shizuo demanded, quickly making his way over to the pair.

“Make me.” it responded before taking a direct punch to the face, sending it flying into the back wall of the room with a decent _thud_.

“I’ll kill you, you bastard!” Shizuo bellowed as he began storming over to where Saika lay on the ground.

“Ah, it feels so good to finally get a chance to feel that strength for myself, _Shizu-chan_.”

“DON’T YOU DARE CALL ME BY THAT NAME!”

“Shizuo, wait!” Izaya yelled, grabbing Shizuo’s arm as he prepared another punch, “That won’t do anything.”

Seeing the desperate look on Izaya’s face brought Shizuo down from his rage just enough to register when Izaya had just told him. He took a moment to shift his view between Izaya and Saika before turning his back and dragging Izaya away with him.

“C’mon. I’m getting you away from that thing.” he said flatly.

As he was pulled away, Izaya looked over his shoulder at Saika, a smile on its face as it pulled itself from the floor, but made no move to stop them from leaving.


	53. Chapter 53

They both ran out of the building, turning around the corner to the alleyway a few buildings down. Izaya was already fairly worn out from the fight, not to mention the energy drained from him when Saika left his body. He immediately fell against the wall, breathing heavily as he desperately tried to _think_.

And then came the concerned questioning. “Izaya, are you hurt? What happened?” and after feeling his forehead; “Shit, you’re burning up!”

His mind was still in a frenzy as he tried to put everything into perspective.

Saika had its own body.

He couldn’t hurt it by cutting it.

It would likely start cutting people and creating a new army soon, or perhaps awaken the army still dormant in Ikebukuro now that it had Anri’s piece back.

He needed time to think. There had to be some way to take it down.

“Izaya?! _Izaya_?!”

It suddenly registered that Shizuo was shaking him, trying to get his attention.

“Shizuo, I… I don’t know what to do…” he admitted.

“We’ll worry about that later. Right now we need to get you somewhere you can rest. You don’t look so good.”

“I can’t, Shizuo.” Izaya argued, “I wasn’t able to find out exactly what it was planning, but I do know that it’s going to attack. And soon.”

“You can’t fight it like this.” Shizuo reasoned, “Besides, even if it possesses people in the time it takes you to rest, once we kill it, all those people will be back to normal, right?”

“I… I guess… But we don’t even know how to do that! Normal attacks are useless!”

“Listen, we’ll figure it out. I want to stop it as much as you do, but you’ve got a fever, and honestly you look like you’re about to pass out.”

“Yeah… I’m starting to feel that way too.”

…~-~…

It felt odd.

Lying in bed when he knew he should be searching like a madman for the answers he so desperately needed.

But he was tired.

So ridiculously tired, he could barely keep his eyes open as Shizuo began raking his fingers through his hair.

“Just sleep for now.” Shizuo said softly, “Your fever probably came from overexerting yourself.”

“Mhm…” Izaya weakly voiced back, quickly slipping into a deep sleep only seconds later.

Shizuo watched as Izaya fell asleep. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t nearly as nervous as Izaya was about Saika having its own body, but the only way they’d be able to defeat it is if Izaya could get his wits about him long enough to figure this mess out.

He had secretly hoped that when the time came, he would be able to fight Saika using his strength. It was what he needed. To be able to use this power he hated so much to defend someone. To protect a person he cared about. He thought if only he could do that, then maybe he could learn to love his curse.

But being unable to fight Saika with his fists made him anxious. He was no expert on fighting the supernatural, even if he conversed with a headless woman more often than your average person. He could only rely on Izaya’s knowledge of Saika and its weaknesses.

Although, from what he’s heard from Izaya, it didn’t seem like it had any.

He couldn’t help but feel absolutely _powerless_ at that thought. Izaya was breaking down right in front of his eyes, and there was nothing he could do to help him except offer his shoulder for him to lean on, and help lick his wounds clean—both physically and mentally. But it killed him inside that he couldn’t do anything to stop the source of Izaya’s pain.

He’d been able to fight off Saika’s army before using his strength, yet he still wasn’t the one to defeat the cause. In fact, he still wasn’t sure how that had happened anyway. Maybe he should ask Izaya when he woke up. Who knows, maybe it’ll give Izaya’s mind the right inspiration to figure this out.

Izaya was smart. He always knew that much. Always getting the top grades in the class…

Shizuo let his mind wander a bit to their high school life. He could remember Izaya going off to the library on lunch breaks, and often returning with a large stack of books in hand. It seemed he was always studying. He focused in class, yet rarely took notes and Shizuo could only assume the psycho memorized everything the instant he heard it.

All the while, he was stuck borrowing notes from Shinra and sometimes even Kadota because his lame ass brain couldn’t absorb even the smallest bit of information.

As much as he’d hated Izaya, he’d always envied him, and maybe even idolized him in some sick and twisted way. Orihara Izaya was a kid who could so easily understand and interpret class material, his grades were damn near flawless, he was athletic, and even somewhat popular amongst the class for his looks.

To say he’d been jealous might be going a bit far; however, he did feel a sort of… longing for the life Izaya had.

He never lost control.

He was always calm and collected, even in a fight.

He never destroyed public property with hands that were too strong to be considered human.

Izaya simply _was_.

And even if he was a manipulative asshole, he was still far closer to normal than Shizuo could ever hope to be.

A small grumble from Izaya caught Shizuo’s attention, drawing his focus back to the body curled up in his bed.

He did like watching Izaya sleep. As strange as it might be, he liked the way Izaya’s features relaxed into those of an innocent child. It was that look that had convinced him that maybe, just _maybe_ beneath that hard shell around his heart, Izaya could be a kind person.

Izaya had never been in love before. Maybe all he needed was someone to care about other than himself to bring out a new side.

Shizuo had already gotten him to vent a bit of his frustration, and maybe with a bit more coaxing, he could get Izaya to open his heart just enough to let him slip in and see the Izaya that no one else had ever seen before.

Gently pushing ebony hair away from closed eyes, Shizuo smiled at the thought of being able to understand this man. Against all odds, he’d managed to learn to trust him, and he hoped that once he knew more about the informant, he’d be able to love him even more.

Deciding it might be best to leave Izaya alone to sleep, Shizuo carefully got up, and made his way into the living room where he let himself fall onto the couch.

When his stomach began to growl, he decided it might be a good idea to order something to eat. Considering how much energy had been taken from Izaya, he’d probably need to eat as well when he woke up.

And so he ordered a late lunch for them from Russia Sushi, making sure to get an order of ootoro, and giving a message to Simon to knock softly when he arrived.

After paying Simon (thankful that he had been paid early this week before taking time off), Shizuo ate his meal, and spent the remainder of the afternoon with the television on low, continuously checking up on Izaya in the other room. He wasn’t really watching the television though. His mind was far too occupied to care.

A little while passed before Shizuo soon began to doze off, his eyes becoming much too heavy to keep open, and soon, he too was fast asleep.

…~-~…

Auburn eyes slowly fluttered open, and limbs stretched out on the bed, cracking slightly as stiff joints were moved. Even though pain still flared in certain spots, he was comfortable.

And best of all, his mind was _clear_.

He felt like a significant haze had been lifted, allowing his mind to think without any nagging distraction. His body felt similarly clear. Like it was _his_ and no one else’s.

For the first time in his life, he didn’t have another voice in his head.

He wasn’t sharing a body with another soul.

And it felt _amazing_.

He’d never realized just how taxing it had been on him to have Saika living off of him, and as much as he knew it was only bad news, he was relieved to finally have it out of his body.

He could finally have peace.

That is, after he figured out how to destroy it once and for all.

Pulling himself out of bed (and truly regretting having to move his body as the pain from the fight began to worsen upon standing), Izaya headed out of the bedroom.

“Shizu-chan?” he called out quietly.

He began to worry slightly when there was no response only to stop and smile when he realized why.

Shizuo was passed out in a rather uncomfortable looking position on the couch, one arm hanging lazily over the edge, and one leg beginning to do the same while his neck was draped over the arm of the couch.

Kneeling down in front of the couch, Izaya leaned forward, pressing his lips against Shizuo’s. A small grumble indicated Shizuo’s waking up before Izaya could feel the kiss being returned, and a hand moving to hold the back of his neck, rubbing lightly.

“How did you sleep?” Shizuo asked groggily.

“Really well, actually.”

“Wait here.” he said, quickly getting off the couch and heading into the kitchen.

When he returned he handed a small box to Izaya, causing a small smile to spread over Izaya’s face when he opened it.

“Thank you, Shizu-chan.” he said, plopping a piece of the fatty tuna in his mouth.

“Yeah, well… I was kinda hungry, and I figured you would be too after today.”

Izaya nodded, continuing to eat as if he hadn’t in days. And honestly, he might as well have considering his anxiety hadn’t allowed him to eat very much. Not that he wasn’t still quite apprehensive, but not having a decent meal in so long had caught up to him.

Shizuo watched as Izaya hungrily devoured his food, happy to finally see him eating a healthy amount. Looking closely, Shizuo could tell that something was definitely different about Izaya, and he couldn’t help but wonder exactly how much strain Saika had been putting on him.

He’d never really thought of that little detail. He knew that when Saika purposefully messed with him it was taxing, and he’d been too distracted by that to really consider anything else. Having two people contained in one body couldn’t have been easy on him even when it wasn’t acting up or talking to him.

“You look better.” Shizuo pointed out, causing Izaya to pause for a moment.

He finished chewing the bite in his mouth before responding. “Yeah. I feel pretty good actually. Despite everything.”

“So what do you think we should do…?”

“I’m not sure,” Izaya said solemnly.

There was a short pause in which Shizuo could see a little spark of something making Shizuo wonder if Izaya had suddenly remembered something.

A grin spread over his face as he turned back to face Shizuo.

“But I think I know someone who can figure this out.”


	54. Chapter 54

“So what the hell is this guy’s name again?” Shizuo asked as the pair approached Izaya’s apartment building.

“Tsukumoya Shinichi.” Izaya stated, “He’s one of my most reliable sources. If anyone can find information on something like Saika, it’d be him.”

Cautiously, they made their way up to the apartment, prepared to fight just in case Saika was still there, waiting.

However, when they opened the door, the place was completely still. There was no sign of Saika whatsoever other than what was left over from their fight.

Izaya headed directly over to the computer, turned it on, and logged in to the familiar chatroom.

**Orihara Izaya, reborn!**

**Tsukumoya Shinichi  
** Hm. That’s strange.

 **Orihara Izaya  
** What?

 **Tsukumoya Shinichi  
** I just got a tip saying you were spotted heading for Saitama, but you entered the chat from your home computer…

 **Orihara Izaya  
** Saitama? When?

 **Tsukumoya Shinichi  
** Two hours and twenty-three minutes ago.

 **Orihara Izaya  
** That’s good to know. Thanks. But I have something else I need to ask you about.

 **Tsukumoya Shinichi  
** I must say I’m curious about this. Because if you’re somehow multiplying, that could prove to be a problem that I wouldn’t know how to handle. One of you is bad enough.

 **Orihara Izaya  
** Listen to me for a moment, Tsukumoya. This is very important.

 **Tsukumoya Shinichi  
** Alright, what is it?

 **Orihara Izaya  
** I need you to look into a demon known as “Saika”.

 **Tsukumoya Shinichi  
** “Saika”? Since when have you been interested in anything other than humans?

 **Orihara Izaya  
** I don’t have time to explain everything, okay? Just hurry up and tell me if you can figure out how to kill it.

 **Tsukumoya Shinichi  
** Kill it? Orihara, is everything okay with you? If I didn’t know any better I’d think someone hacked into your system.

 **Tsukumoya Shinichi  
** But alas, I’m the only one who’d ever be able to do that, am I right? ;)

 **Orihara Izaya  
** Would you just stop messing around and tell me what I need to know?

 **Tsukumoya Shinichi  
** Temper, temper! I may as well be talking to Shizuo right now!

**…**

**Tsukumoya Shinichi  
** Ah, so he _is_ there, isn’t he?

 **Tsukumoya Shinichi  
** Hello there, Shizuo-san! Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Tsukumoya Shinichi. Of course, if Orihara had any manners, he would have introduced us properly when this conversation started, but I guess he’s just hopeless.

 **Orihara Izaya  
** Tsukumoya! I don’t have time for this! Just start looking!

 **Tsukumoya Shinichi  
** I am! It’s called “multi-tasking”. I’m sure you’re familiar with the term.

 **Orihara Izaya  
** Are you finding anything?

 **Tsukumoya Shinichi  
** Not necessarily on Saika in general. All I’m seeing is that it supposedly loves humans, and shows its love by hurting them.

 **Tsukumoya Shinichi  
** Hm. I bet you two would get along just fine.

 **Orihara Izaya  
** That’s where you’re mistaken.

 **Orihara Izaya**  
Keep looking.

 **Tsukumoya Shinichi  
** Hm… I’m not finding anything directly on how to kill Saika specifically, but I did find something that might be useful.

 **Tsukumoya Shinichi  
** Saika seems to be categorized as a parasitic type entity, using a host to survive and become stronger. Once it’s strong enough, it can separate completely from the host’s body and create its own. Does this sound like what you’re looking for?

 **Orihara Izaya  
** Yes. Very much so. What else can you tell me.

 **Tsukumoya Shinichi  
** Apparently, the only way to injure it would be to use a weapon covered its hosts’ blood. But even then, it wouldn’t die completely. If it were to get too weak, it could just enter another body and repeat the cycle.

 **Orihara Izaya  
** And how might one prevent that from happening?

 **Tsukumoya Shinichi  
** You’ve really got me curious as to why you need this information, Orihara.

 **Orihara Izaya  
** Just hurry up and tell me what my options are.

 **Tsukumoya Shinichi  
** I can’t tell you for sure if this particular method would work on something like Saika, but in theory, if the demon is weakened, it can re-enter the original hosts’ body, and since it’s already been separated, it won’t fuse with the person immediately. There’s a window of approximately three minutes in which a weakened demon’s soul can be channeled into an object, and forced to fuse to the object rather than a human. When this happens—in theory, mind you—the object would then literally _become_ the demon; thus, breaking the object would kill it.

 **Orihara Izaya  
** Is there anything else you could find?

 **Tsukumoya Shinichi  
** No. That’s it unless you want to try a good old-fashioned exorcism.

 **Orihara Izaya  
** I doubt that would help at all.

 **Orihara Izaya  
** But thank you, Tsukumoya. You may have just saved my life.

 **Tsukumoya Shinichi  
** In that case, is it too late to take back the information I gave you?

**Orihara Izaya confirmed dead!**

**Tsukumoya Shinichi  
** Ahh, the cold shoulder. I see how it is.

**…**

**…**

**…**

**Tsukumoya Shinichi  
** Good luck, Orihara.

…~-~…

“What the hell’s with him?” Shizuo asked.

“Don’t know. I barely know anything about the guy.” Izaya said, immediately opening the top drawer on his desk and searching through a few documents.

“Thought so…” Izaya muttered to himself, looking back at Shizuo, “Saika took my credit card, some cash and a fake ID that I keep in here.”

“I wonder if it took anything else… I mean, it would know where you keep everything, right?”

“Yeah, but I don’t think I really have anything it might want. It’s not like I own anything that would make it stronger, so why would it—SHIT!”

In that moment, Izaya had shifted his gaze momentarily towards the bookshelf just long enough to notice that something was off.

Leaping over his desk, Izaya began pulling books off the shelf, shoving them haphazardly to the ground.

It wasn’t there.

The head.

Celty’s head was missing.

“What’s wrong? What’s missing?” Shizuo asked.

Izaya hit his head against the edge of the shelf, cursing his own stupidity for not thinking to have grabbed it before he left. Who knows what the hell Saika planned to do with it, but whatever it was, it couldn’t be anything good. He slowly sank to the floor, mind a mess as he tried to sort out ever new piece of information he’d learned tonight.

“Izaya…?”

“I… Celty’s head.” he began, looking at Shizuo who had knelt on the floor next to him, “Saika took her head.”

Shizuo’s stare was blank for a moment as he put the pieces together. “You… You had her head…?”

“For a few months, yeah… Are you mad…?”

His eyes closed as a hand ran through blonde hair. “Am I—? Of course I’m mad! Why shouldn’t I be?! How the hell did you even get it anyway?!”

“Namie.” Izaya responded quickly, “She ran Yagiri Pharmaceuticals, and they had been doing research on it. When her company was taken over by Nebula, she came to work for me, and gave me the head for safe keeping.”

“And you’ve just been keeping it here? Why wouldn’t you tell Celty? She’s been so worried sick about it!”

“Because if I told her, Shinra would get mad at me! And he’s the only real friend I have!” Izaya admitted, “And until Saika got out, it was perfectly safe with me, so how about we stop arguing and go find it before Saika does something to her!”

“Why do you think it took her head with it?” Shizuo asked, calming down a bit.

“I’m not sure. Saika never liked Celty. Whenever it saw her or the head, all it did was mutter to itself about how she’s not human. Whatever Saika has in mind for the head, it won’t end well for Celty unless we hurry.”

“Fine,” Shizuo agreed, offering his hand to help Izaya up, “Get whatever you need to get and let’s go.”

…~-~…

They hadn’t said much to each other since deciding to leave, catching the next train to Saitama. Neither of them knew what might be waiting for them when they arrived, but Izaya had prepared himself. He’d grabbed a couple of knives, strategically placing them on his person so that he would be able to reach one at all times.

Also, he’d grabbed a glass bottle, so that he might be able to use it to trap Saika. The easier the object was to break, the better he’d guessed. The bottle was strong enough to hold up on its own for a while, but he’d still be able to smash it as soon as he could trap Saika.

He could only hope that what Tsukumoya said would work, and that he wouldn’t be going into this fight blind.

After nearly twenty minutes, the train came to a stop at the station. Not even ten seconds after the train had stopped, Izaya could feel that all too familiar presence of Saika. And from the way Shizuo’s hand tightened on his shoulder, apparently he felt it too.

But they weren’t the only ones.

Shizuo was practically immune to Saika’s influence. That was a fact. Izaya was simply used to the feeling of suppressing it.

But the passengers on the train weren’t so lucky.

Within seconds, about fifteen passengers’ eyes began to glow red, all turning towards Shizuo and Izaya.

“You took much longer to find me than I thought you would, Izaya.” one man said, taking a few steps towards the pair, “Isn’t this great? I don’t even have to cut them for them to listen to me.”

“You’re still as cowardly as ever,” Izaya retorted, “Using other people as your messengers. Show yourself!”

“In due time. That’s half the fun, isn’t it? Come find me. That is, assuming you survive long enough.”


	55. Chapter 55

“Get behind me.” Shizuo demanded, his voice low as he held an arm out to push Izaya back, “I’ll take care of them.”

Izaya obeyed, his guard up as high as it could possibly be as the possessed passengers began closing in.

“Let’s go.” Shizuo said, shoving the first person out of the way.

Those with sharp objects on their person pulled them out, charging at Shizuo and Izaya with wide, glowing red eyes.

Izaya merely followed the path Shizuo created as he shoved each person aside, clearing the way to the door to the compartment.

Looking behind him, he could see a few begin to stand up again, while others who landed rather hard remained on the ground, probably unconscious.

They had to force the door open, making their way into a surprisingly empty station.

“I don’t like this…” Shizuo said, looking around.

“Me either.” Izaya agreed, reaching for his flick blade in his pocket.

He didn’t want to have to cut anyone considering the pain would only make it easier for whoever he cut to be influenced by Saika, but if he was backed into a corner, he was prepared to do what he needed to get out safely.

“Come on,” Izaya said, gesturing for Shizuo to follow him, “Let’s hurry up and get this over with”

They climbed the stairs out of the station, not surprised to find the streets were just as empty. It was unsettling to say the least.

The two glanced at each other, sending a silent message to the other that they would have to be careful.

It was strange to see a typical city completely dead just after sunset. The lights on buildings and billboards flashed their bright colors while the street lights illuminated the empty roads. Izaya suppressed a chill at the realization that the entire city must have been taken under Saika’s control. They were going to have to fight. He just hoped they’d be able to hold up long enough to destroy Saika.

“So which way should we go…?” Shizuo whispered, although the sound carried much farther than it should have in the middle of a city.

Izaya closed his eyes. He could still feel Saika’s presence, though it was difficult to pinpoint exactly where it was originating from. Releasing a slow breath, he allowed himself to focus on nothing other than that small twinge of Saika’s energy. It seemed to be just slightly stronger in one direction than anywhere else.

“To the left.” Izaya responded, “I can feel it a bit more over there.”

Shizuo nodded. “Okay.”

Just as Izaya was about to move, he felt a warm hand wrap around his own, lightly pulling him along.

“Stay close to me.” Shizuo muttered, tightening his grip on Izaya’s hand.

Izaya could only stare at their hands for a moment as they walked. He vaguely wondered how they had gotten to this point so quickly. Not that he was complaining. He liked that he finally had someone he could feel comfortable around.

But he couldn’t think about those kinds of things now. He had to stay focused on destroying Saika. Once that was done, he and Shizuo could finally enjoy some peace together—as odd as that sounded in his head.

They made it a few blocks down before Shizuo suddenly stopped.

“Shizu-chan…?” Izaya asked quietly.

“Shh.” Shizuo put his finger to his lips, “I thought I heard something…”

They stood still for a moment, both on high alert, standing back to back as they scoped out the area.

Izaya could hear it too. There were whispers. Nothing coherent that he could make out, but there were definitely voices.

He tried to figure out exactly where it was coming from only to realize it wasn’t just from one area. There were hushed voices speaking coming from every direction.

And as the voices grew a bit louder, Izaya could hear footsteps as well.

“They’re coming.” Izaya whispered, “You ready?”

Shizuo grinned. “I was just about to ask you the same.”

Just a few seconds later, Izaya could see people pouring into the empty streets. Large groups of them came around corners and some came out of buildings and apartments.

All of them holding sharp objects.

All of them with glowing red eyes.

Izaya’s hand unconsciously gripped his flick blade tighter as he began to ready himself for the attack.

Slowly, the possessed people of Saitama surrounded them in the middle of an intersection until every gap was filled in by a knife-wielding child of Saika.

“Oh, Izaya…” one woman began, stepping forward from the crowd, “I’ll give you once chance to leave now. There is no way you can possibly win this. If you turn back now, then maybe I’ll spare you and your little lover-boy.”

“Not a chance.” Izaya said coolly, “I’d never be able to sleep at night knowing that my humans are left in your hands.”

“Ah, that’s too bad… That was your only chance. Ah, well… Goodbye, Orihara Izaya and Heiwajima Shizuo!”

Izaya stood his ground as the group charged. Abandoning his knife in his pocket for now, Izaya sent a harsh kick into the first person he could find, knocking them to the ground along with a couple others that had been too close.

Knives came at him and hands grasped at him to try and hold him down, but Izaya didn’t stop fighting. He disarmed as many people as he could, slipping their weapons into his pockets at any given chance as he continued to knock down Saika’s children.

Sparing a short glance in Shizuo’s direction told a similar story, except with Shizuo’s strength, he was taking out a lot more of them much more efficiently.

A sudden punch sent Izaya to the ground, prompting any children who were close enough to slash at him. He moved his body as quickly as he could on the ground to avoid getting cut, but there were just simply too many of them.

One man jumped on Izaya, straddling his waist with his legs while others moved to hold Izaya’s limbs down, until he couldn’t move an inch.

“SHIZUO!” Izaya screamed as the man over him raised his weapon, ready to stab him in the chest.

And then he was gone. And one by one, each other person holding him down was sent flying over the crowd.

A solid round-house kick from Shizuo sent all of the people within a 5 meter radius crashing into each other, knocking a decent amount of them to the ground.

“Izaya!” Shizuo called, quickly bending down to help him up, “Are you okay? Did they hurt you?!”

“I’m okay.” Izaya assured, moving closer to the blonde.

He wasn’t made to fight like this. In the middle of the street there was nothing for him to use. Nowhere for him to hide, or protect his own back, and nothing for him to use to get an upper hand. He simply wasn’t physically strong enough to fight this many people at once.

And Shizuo seemed to sense that.

“Let’s just keep pushing through,” Shizuo said, punching out the next wave of Saika’s children that dared to get too close. “Just stay right behind me and don’t stop running until we’re through them all, got that?”

Izaya nodded ass Shizuo took his hand again, pulling him towards the crowd.

“GET OUT OF THE WAY!” Shizuo bellowed as he shoved them all aside with only his one free hand.

Izaya ran as fast as he could, staying close behind Shizuo as he cleared the way for them. He watched as groups of ten people at once were thrown aside, knocking over another ten or so with them.

He was practically awestruck. He knew Shizuo had fought Saika’s army off before, but he hadn’t actually been able to see it happen with his own eyes until now. Shizuo’s strength seemed to be limitless. And Izaya couldn’t help but wonder how the hell he’d managed to survive all of the fights they’d had in the past. If Shizuo had ever caught him in one of their fights… Well… The man just threw five more people into the air with a brush of his arm. Izaya didn’t want to imagine what that might feel like.

Finally, they made it through the swarm, but the remaining members of the army who hadn’t been knocked unconscious still continued after them as they ran.

“Which way, Izaya?”

“This way.” He said, pulling Shizuo to the left.

They continued down the street until another group of Saika’s children came from around the corner in front of them, blocking where they were headed.

Momentarily dropping Izaya’s hand, Shizuo grabbed hold of the nearest street light and yanked it free. The sound of crunching metal and breaking concrete was heard over the sounds of the children’s voices.

Holding the lamp like a baseball bat, Shizuo signaled for Izaya to follow him, swinging the streetlight from side to side, clearing a path much more efficiently than with his fists alone.

And despite the situation, Izaya could hold back his smile as he followed close behind.

He was smiling because he knew Shizuo must care about him a lot.

Because he would never have agreed to do something like this for him just a month ago.

Shizuo who cursed his own strength and wanted to be rid of it was protecting Izaya with everything he had, and Izaya would be lying if he said he wasn’t touched by the thought.

When Shizuo took his hand again, Izaya followed without a second thought. Because he didn’t need to think twice.

Wherever Shizuo would take him, he would be happy to follow.

Even if he knew that right now, he was only headed farther into a war he wasn’t sure he could win.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried with the action scenes... It's really hard to write them...


	56. Chapter 56

Saika’s children continued to follow them as they weaved through the city streets. Shizuo kept the street light, using it to keep the children at bay just long enough for Izaya to determine which way they should go.

Only now could Shizuo finally say he was happy to have his curse. After seeing Izaya disappear under those knife-wielding freaks, he realized just how much his strength helped him in fights like these. Izaya was fast, but he wasn’t very strong. Especially not up against hundreds of people. And there was something about this group that was different from the last.

They were stronger.

Nothing past human strength like the night Izaya had been possessed, but strong enough that it took a bit more effort to knock them out than it did the last time. He had to assume it was because they were possessed directly by Saika this time rather than the branch of a branch of the demon.

And that was also the reason why he kept looking back at Izaya. He didn’t want to let him get caught by another group of them.

He didn’t want Izaya to get hurt anymore.

Which was why when Izaya took off running saying he just saw Saika on top of a building, Shizuo chased after him as fast as he could.

When yet another group of Saika’s children appeared in front of Izaya, Shizuo’s heart raced when Izaya didn’t stop.

He kept running right into the group, shoving people aside as he forced his way through.

‘Damn it, why does he have to be so fast?’ Shizuo thought as he tried to catch up, desperately hoping that he wouldn’t have to watch Izaya get swallowed up again.

Knocking the possessed crowed aside, Shizuo continued following Izaya, refusing to take his eyes off that fur hood pushing its way through a mass of people until he could see that Izaya was through unharmed.

Izaya continued running, and Shizuo followed, well aware that Saika’s army continued to chase them both down.

“Izaya! Wait!” Shizuo called as Izaya turned to cut through an alley.

“Shizu-chan,” Izaya began as he stopped at the other end of the alley, “I need you to do me a favor. I know it’s a lot, but can you hold them back for me? I need to get to Saika, and I need you to keep all of them away so I can finish this.”

“I…” Shizuo paused.

He didn’t want Izaya to do this on his own.

What if he couldn’t beat Saika?

What if he needed help while he would be stuck here with the army?

“Shizu-chan, please.”

“I… Izaya…”

“I can handle Saika alone. After all, it’s my responsibility to deal with. I’m the one that let it get free, so it’s only right that I destroy it.”

“I-I don’t want you doing this alone.” Shizuo admitted.

“I won’t be alone. You’ll be helping more than you think. I can’t fight all of them off, especially not with Saika there. You’ll still be protecting me, Shizuo.”

Shizuo closed his eyes, afraid to agree to Izaya’s plan, but knowing it really was the only practical way to end this quickly.

When he felt Izaya’s lips lightly touch his own, he instinctively wrapped his arms around that slim waist, pulling him close.

“I love you.” Shizuo whispered when they parted.

“I love you too.” Izaya responded, turning away.

“Wait! One last thing.” Grabbing on to the railing of a fire escape, Shizuo pulled a bar free, handing it to Izaya. “You should go with something more than you knife.”

“Thanks, Shizu-chan.”

And with that, Izaya took off in Saika’s direction.

“Be careful, Izaya!” Shizuo called out as he watched Izaya disappear from his sight.

“I will!” he called back.

…~-~…

Saika stood on the roof of a school building, watching the scene unfold through the eyes of its new children.

“How sickening…” it said aloud at the outward display of affection between the two ex-enemies, “You’re becoming weak, Izaya… Just like the others…”

A smirk covered Saika’s face as it thought about its former host.

It was strange to see him act like this. Saika had been with Izaya for long enough that hearing such words of endearment from him was an extremely foreign experience.

Saika’s smirk grew even wider.

‘I can use this for my personal gain I think… That man is still your weakness, Izaya. He can’t help you fight me anymore…’

Deciding it wanted to watch Izaya struggle a bit more, Saika commanded some of its children near the school to slow him down.

“Finally, Izaya. You have become the disposable pawn that I can play with.”

Saika raised its right hand, holding Celty’s head up high above its own.

“Celty-chan, I hope you’re ready to cooperate… I truly am excited to see the look on Izaya’s face when he realizes just how weak he really is. You’re ready too, ne?”

…~-~…

Gripping the piece of metal in his hands, Izaya swung at the group of Saika’s children that had surrounded him, knocking some over with that, while kicking the rest out of his way—all the while dodging various knife slashes.

Eventually, he gave up on precise hits and began using his entire body to knock them over, shoving them down as he had done earlier. The make-shift weapon in his hands helped keep them at more of a distance, but he wasn’t strong enough to actually take them down with it.

But he needed to lose the rest of them. And quickly if he wanted to save them from Saika’s control.

It bothered him.

Seeing all of these people taken over by Saika’s influence.

It was disturbing in a way Izaya couldn’t describe.

He felt responsible.

He felt as if _he’d_ been the one to unleash this on the world.

That _he_ was the one at fault for not stopping Saika before now.

And feeling like that… was very new to him.

Quickly sticking his “weapon” in the drawstring bag on his back, Izaya weaved through a couple buildings, eventually losing the trail of Saika’s army.

After a few more minutes, Izaya stood across the street from a school building. Saika stared down at him from the roof, though not much beyond a silhouette was visible from the ground.

Izaya took a deep breath.

‘This is it…’ he thought.

Saika had been a part of his life for as long as he could remember.

A parasite, living off of his body.

It had tormented him.

Tortured him.

And made him feel far too vulnerable.

It had forced its way into his head, manipulating his emotions for its own gain.

… It possessed him, and made him attack Shizuo…

And for some reason, that one thought brought out more in Izaya than anything else.

Saika had tried to hurt someone he loved.

Not just another one if his humans out there, but someone he had actually grown to love above anyone else…

And Saika was threatening that.

He wouldn’t stand for it.

‘This is war, Saika.’ Izaya thought to himself.

Gathering his wits, Izaya ran towards the school building, quickly finding the door that Saika had already forced open. A loud creaking noise could be heard as Izaya shut the doors behind him, placing the metal bar from Shizuo through the handles. The last thing he wanted was for the children to come bursting in to their fight. He only hoped that it that would hold them back at least for a little while.

Heading up the stairs, Izaya kicked open the door to the roof, flick blade in hand and quite prepared to dodge any attack that might come his way.

But nothing did.

Instead of attacking, Saika merely stood on the other end of the building, Celty’s head on the ground next to it.

“Izaya.” Saika said calmly, “So you made it through I see.”

“Shut up Saika. “ Izaya snapped, “I’m not here to listen to what you have to say. Let’s end this.”

“Ahh… So you want to fight…” Saika sighed, “I must say, this is quite the turn from your usual tactic. Isn’t this the part where you try to mentally dominate me, and get your revenge? Or maybe you’ll just talk me into circles until I don’t even know what side of the conversation I’m supposed to be on. Oh, but then again, I suppose I’m not the type you typically prey on.”

“No, you’re not.” Izaya said definitively, “I love humans. I hate you. And right now I want nothing more than to finally end your existence. So how about we get started, ne?”

Saika laughed in response. A shrill, dry cackle that cut through the night air. “You really think you can beat me, don’t you? That’s what I love about humans. You get this false sense of hope that ‘good will always triumph over evil’ or something along those lines. Although I can’t necessarily say you and I can be categorized as either of those.”

“It’s absurd to divide people into good or evil. People are either charming or tedious.’” Izaya quoted, “And I must say, you fit the latter description quite well at this point. But that has nothing to do with this. I’ll win this fight because I refuse to let you keep control over your “children”. Plus, I’m sure you’re fully aware that humans are _mine_. And I’m sure you also know that I don’t like to share them.”

The smile fell from Saika’s face, replaced by an intense glare that would chill any normal person to the bone.

“Come on then.” Saika encouraged, “Show me how much you want them.”

Before Izaya could move, Saika leapt at him, landing a solid punch into his abdomen. The wind was knocked out of him as he was thrown back a few meters, landing harshly on his shoulder. He heard the sound of glass breaking only to realize that the fall had broken the bottle in his bag much sooner than he’d wanted.

Hissing at the pain and gripping his shoulder, Izaya tried to reorient himself as the pain from the impact slowly peaked, and began to fade slightly.

“You’re weak!” Saika yelled, “Absolutely pathetic!”

“Don’t underestimate me, Saika…” Izaya warned, pulling himself to his feet and discarding the bag with the now useless object inside, “You know what happens to those who do.”

Picking up his flick blade, Izaya made a small slice on his left hand, wincing at the sharp sting. It hurt, but he held the blade there for a moment, allowing his blood to cover it, all the while judging Saika’s reaction.

“Wha-what are you doing?” The stutter in Saika’s voice fed Izaya’s confidence that Tsukumoya’s information may have been correct.

“I’m going to fight you.” Izaya stated, “Except this time I’m going to even things out a bit.”

He watched carefully this time. When Saika’s body leaned slightly to the left, Izaya anticipated its attempt to use its speed to get behind him, turning on a dime and lashing out with his flick blade.

He knew he’d made a cut when he felt the resistance, and saw a quick blur as Saika jumped backwards, now holding its arm, hissing in pain. Izaya didn’t waste a second, lunging forward and driving the blade towards Saika’s chest.

The blade made solid contact with Saika’s shoulder as it attempted to dodge the attack, still in shock from the first cut.

It was also because of this that Izaya managed to tackle it to the ground, straddling Saika as he raised the knife above his head.

“ _Now_ who’s the weak one?” he whispered venomously.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The quote Izaya says is from Oscar Wilde.


	57. Chapter 57

Izaya brought the knife down, stabbing harshly into Saika’s chest. Screaming in pain, Saika shoved Izaya away which allowed him to manage one more slice across Saika’s chest before he was sent flying back, his momentum stopped by the fence along the perimeter of the roof.

Jumping back to his feet despite the pain, he watched as Saika attempted to stop its wounds from bleeding.

“How…?” Saika whispered to itself.

“Tsukumoya,” Izaya informed, “I should have asked him about you a long time ago. He found just about everything about you in minutes.”

Without a response, Saika once again came at Izaya in a rage, and once again, Izaya was prepared for the attack. Quickly gripping the blade of his knife in his injured hand, he coated it in his blood once again before managing to stab the knife into Saika’s abdomen once it was close enough.

Saika let out a pained yell, next attempting to land another solid punch. Izaya ducked, avoiding the hit by the breadth of a hair and stabbing the blade once more into Saika’s ribcage, sidestepping yet another attempted hit. Saika’s fist slammed into the ground, leaving a small dent where Izaya had been standing barely a second ago.

Blood poured from Saika’s wounds, bringing it to its knees as it put pressure on the worst of its injuries.

Izaya smiled when he saw that Saika’s wounds weren’t showing any signs of healing. His determination to finish this fight rose at that realization, along with the adrenaline coursing through his body.

“So what is this to you…?” Saika asked, pulling itself off the ground, “Is this vengeance for all of the pain I’ve caused you?”

“Partly,” Izaya began with a shrug, “but when it comes down to it, that wouldn’t make me any better than you, now would it? After all, I’m not like you. I don’t cut people, nor do I want to. Physical pain isn’t my thing.”

“I suppose” Saika agreed.

“So instead, we’ll just say that I’m doing this for Shizuo. It’s because of you that he was dragged into this, and that is something I can never forgive you for.”

“Tch. You just keep becoming more and more human, don’t you? Justifying your revenge like that… I thought you were better than this, Izaya.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. I am better than my humans. I’d like to think I’m actually being rather merciful compared to how Shizuo would react if he were here fighting you now. If I truly wanted to make you feel pain, I would let him tear you apart.”

“You honestly can’t still think you’re any better than other humans…”

“Oh, but I do.” Izaya corrected, “But I won’t deny the fact that I am one of them. Because being human isn’t so bad. We have many redeeming qualities that help us survive in the long run. We can access supernatural strength like Shizuo’s when our lives or the lives of our loved ones are in danger, and our stubbornness can keep us going much longer than we should be physically able. But do you know what is most interesting to me? The thing that makes me most human is my fear of nonexistence. Fear is a natural human response that _you_ take advantage of; however, it’s a very necessary response to ensure survival. I’m afraid to die, which means that I won’t give up this fight until I destroy you. I’ve always defied you, and now I’m finally going to finish this. And it’s because I’m human that I know I will be the one to walk away from this fight alive.”

“You talk too much.” Saika stated, cracking its knuckles, “If you’re so confident, then come on. Show me what you can do.”

“Gladly.”

…~-~…

A punch, a kick, and a swing of a street sign or any other random object he could find. Shizuo continued fighting, all the while wondering if Izaya was safe. He hadn’t wanted to let Izaya go, but this really was the best way to handle it. Saika’s children were a handful as it was, and trying to fight both the army and Saika at the same time could have been dangerous.

And the army really was a handful. Knocking a large group of them aside, Shizuo looked to see more of them coming at him from around street corners and out of other buildings.

Saika really had possessed the entire city.

Panting softly, Shizuo rolled his shoulders, attempting to loosen up a bit in preparation for the next wave, except it didn’t come immediately as it had been doing.

The children all turned their heads towards the direction where Izaya hand run, eyes all glowing brightly.

‘Did something happen…?’ Shizuo wondered, recalling a similar situation the first time he’d fought Saika’s children.

“Hey, what’s up?” Shizuo asked aloud, wondering if he would even get an answer.

“We have been given orders, Heiwajima Shizuo.” One man said, stepping forward, “Mother is in danger, so we must finish quickly and help.”

“Like hell I’m letting you help!” Shizuo yelled, feeling relieved to hear that Izaya seemed to be winning.

“We must not let you win…”

Shizuo prepared himself once again as the army began closing in on him. Once they were close enough, Shizuo swung his weapon, except this time, something strange happened. Three or four members of the army latched on to the end of the street sign, pulling it harshly from Shizuo’s hands.

‘What just happened…?’ Shizuo asked himself.

The army hadn’t been able to do that before…

And their eyes… They’re glowing much brighter than before…

Suddenly the army charged, weapons all raised high. Shizuo pushed away the ones that he could, but something was different.

They were much stronger than they had been a moment ago.

‘Saika must be feeding them its energy.’ Shizuo thought. A similar thing had happened when Saika possessed Izaya. Saika must be desperate if it’s giving its energy to the army.

His rational thoughts were cut short when a kitchen knife was stabbed into his shoulder, while another blade sliced his arm.

“Shit!” Shizuo exclaimed, trying to shove them away.

‘There’s too many of them!’

Another cut to his side, and two more on his leg.

Saika’s children grabbed his arms and legs, holding tightly, and Shizuo was shocked to find that he couldn’t move.

‘Damn it, they’re strong!’

He struggled, trying to knock them off, but that only made more of them grab on, restricting his movement completely.

‘No… This isn’t supposed to happen!’ Shizuo began to panic, his heart racing as one of the children approached with a knife in its hand.

‘Izaya… I have to protect Izaya…’

“Stay back!” Shizuo yelled, struggling even harder.

It was useless.

He was tired, and losing blood fast.

And the more blood he lost, the more he could feel the pain of his wounds.

He was scared.

‘No, I can’t be afraid. I can’t let it win. Izaya… needs me…’

A few more cuts were made on his arms and legs. Small, but enough to weaken him.

And when the man who had spoken before approached holding the knife above his head, Shizuo couldn’t hold on to consciousness any longer.

‘Izaya…’

…~-~…

“What’s wrong, Saika?” Izaya taunted, “You’re much weaker than you have been in the past.”

“Tell me, Izaya, do you really love Shizuo?” Saika asked, spitting out a bit of blood.

“I don’t have to answer to you.” Izaya responded.

“How about your friends, hm? Do you consider Celty a friend?”

Izaya held his ground as Saika stood, walking over to a bag on the ground that Izaya hadn’t noticed before.

‘The head…’

Sure enough, just as he though those words, Saika removed Celty’s head from the bag, smiling as it studied the head for a moment.

“You see, as much as I dislike Celty, her head does contain a decent amount of dormant power. I don’t know what would happen if we were to awaken it; however, I do know that I can use her power to make myself stronger. She is a supernatural being like me after all. And in the same way humans can form connections with each other, so can those of us who aren’t human. Power is an interesting thing, really. It can be stolen so easily if one only knows how to do it.”

“Leave Celty out of this.”

“But she’s not human!” Saika pointed out, “Why should you care what happens to her?”

“Because she’s interesting and I don’t want to lose her.” Izaya stated, “Also, her and Shizuo are good friends, and I seem to recall warning you that if you harm Shizuo in any way, I’d make you suffer.”

“You’re so protective of your little Shizu-chan.” Saika teased, “But your threats don’t scare me, Izaya.”

“Trust me, Saika. It’s not just a simple threat.”

Tackling Saika to the ground, Izaya attempted to wrestle the stasis chamber containing Celty’s head out of its grip. Reaching into his back pocket, Izaya pulled out another blade he had brought with him, making a small cut on his leg to get some blood on it before driving the blade into Saika’s throat.

In the brief moment that Saika’s grip weakened, Izaya yanked the head out of its hands, and quickly jumped back to a safe distance.

Saika had done enough damage already. Izaya couldn’t stand to think what would happen if it managed to steal power from Celty’s head.

He suppressed a shudder at the thought of what might have happened to Celty just now.

Where was she? Was she with Shinra? Would she have just collapsed dead after Saika was finished with her?

He didn’t know, and that terrified him.

‘Don’t worry, Celty,” he thought, ‘I won’t let that thing get to you or anyone else anymore.’

Saika’s coughing brought Izaya’s attention back to it. It seemed to be in a lot of pain as the blood continued to flow from its wounds—most severely from the one on its neck. But that wouldn’t be sufficient to kill it, and Izaya knew that much.

“Enough.” Saika declared, standing up again, “I will not lose to a pathetic little insect like you.”

Holding the head tighter, Izaya steadied himself for the next attack.

“Bring him in!” Saika called out towards the door Izaya had entered through.

Izaya’s eyes widened in shock as a couple of Saika’s children dragged in a limp and bleeding Shizuo, dropping him on his knees before backing away slowly.

He couldn’t get a good look at Shizuo’s face seeing as his head was down, but he was definitely still alive.

“Shizu-chan…?” Izaya whimpered quietly, waiting to see some kind of movement from the blonde, and silently begging he wasn’t about to see something he’d initially thought to be impossible.

“Ah, yes, there we go!” Saika said happily, sauntering over to where Shizuo was currently kneeling, “You see, Izaya, everything has a breaking point. It’s just a matter of finding it. And judging by the expression on your face, I’d like to think I’ve just found yours as well. But let’s see how much farther we can push you, hm?”

Saika gripped Shizuo’s hair, lifting the man’s head so that Izaya could see his face.

“Why don’t you open your eyes, Shizuo, and show Izaya how hopeless it really is to fight me.”

Izaya’s heart raced, his throat constricted, and his entire body tightened when bright, glowing red eyes were revealed in place of Shizuo’s brown ones.


	58. Chapter 58

Without taking his eyes off of Shizuo, Izaya carefully set Celty’s head down behind him before taking two careful steps towards Saika and Shizuo.

“Shizu-chan…?” he called out, desperately hoping he might get some kind of response to indicate that he wasn’t possessed.

Except deep down he knew better. The vacant stare in Shizuo’s red eyes told him everything he needed to know.

“How do you feel right now, Izaya?” Saika asked, placing its hands on Shizuo’s shoulders, “Are you angry? Scared? Do you even know what you’re feeling right now? It doesn’t look like you do. Perhaps I should fix that.”

Izaya’s breath caught in his throat while his hands clenched into fists as Saika got down to Shizuo’s level, and sealed its lips over Shizuo’s. The blonde did nothing to protest against the kiss, all the while Izaya could feel his anger rising to a breaking point.

“Get away from him, Saika.” Izaya demanded, “Now.”

Saika turned back to face Izaya with a grin. “Oh… You’re angry now. Good to know that you’re as easy to mess with from the outside as you are from the inside.”

“Be quiet and get the fuck away from him now.”

“And what will you do if I don’t?” Despite those words, Saika did move away from Shizuo, instead making his way closer to Izaya until the two were face to face. “Did you want a kiss as well…?” it whispered before capturing Izaya’s lips with its own.

Izaya was frozen for a moment, too shocked to respond as Saika forced its tongue into his mouth. However, he snapped out of it the instant he noticed the faint taste of cigarettes that came from kissing Shizuo. He bit down harshly on Saika’s tongue, pushing Saika away at the same time, forcing it to break the kiss while Izaya spat out the mixture of Saika’s blood and saliva.

“You’re disgusting.” he snarled.

Saika only laughed in response, making Izaya want to cringe.

“You’re human, Izaya. And I love you very much. It pains me that I have to kill you. Ahh well… You know, all of this could have been avoided if you had just listened to me in the first place.” Saika chided, “Shizuo, why don’t you come over here and show Izaya what happens when he doesn’t listen to me.”

Izaya was awestruck when Shizuo stood on Saika’s command.

“Shizuo, don’t listen to it!” he pleaded, taking a few steps backwards.

“That’s it, Shizuo. Kill him, and then bring the head back to me.”

“Shi-Shizuo … you don’t want to do this. I know it’s hard to fight, but you have to try—AH!” Izaya was cut off by a punch to the stomach, sending him flying and hitting the ground instantly as Shizuo continued to where Izaya had fallen.

Izaya coughed harshly, curling into himself on the ground as he tried to will away the pain. Shizuo’s punches still hurt much more than Saika’s, but what hurt him even more was knowing that this was entirely his fault.

“Shizuo, _please_ …” he choked. He tried to pull himself off the ground, but his body was still in shock.

Shizuo kneeled over him, grabbing hold of his throat and forcing him on his back with his fist raised once again.

“Good, Shizuo.” Saika whispered, placing a hand on the blonde’s shoulder, “One good hit can end this. Do it.”

The hand around his throat tightened, and spots began to invade his vision, but he didn’t fight back. What would be the point? He could never win against Shizuo’s strength, and struggling would only cause more pain.

“Shizu… chan…” he whimpered.

Just as he was about to lose consciousness, the pressure around his throat suddenly disappeared, and instead of that fist hitting him, Shizuo turned his body and sent a well aimed punch harshly into Saika’s chest, slamming its body into the ground.

“Izaya! Are you okay?” Shizuo asked, kneeling next to Izaya and helping him sit up, “Shit… I’m so sorry…”

“Don’t worry about me.” Izaya said, “I’m just glad you snapped out of it.”

Shizuo gave a short nod before standing up and walking over to where Saika lay crumpled on the ground, wounds bleeding heavily now.

“You bastard, I’ll kill you!” Shizuo yelled as he picked Saika up by its shirt.

“W-wait… Shizuo, don’t—” Saika begged.

“SHUT UP!” he bellowed, sending another hard punch into Saika’s abdomen, sending it flying.

Except something odd happened.

While in the air, something seemed to come out of Saika’s chest, landing on the ground halfway between Izaya and where Saika landed.

It was the sword.

The katana that Anri had inside of her.

‘Saika must not have fully absorbed it yet!’ Izaya realized.

Eyes wide, Saika attempted to pull itself up, and when it failed, simply began crawling towards the sword.

‘This is my chance!’ Izaya thought, jumping up despite the pain and running for the sword.

Saika was only a few meters away when Izaya snatched the katana up, holding it in his hands for a moment.

The sword pathetically attempted to possess him as he’d thought it might, but it was far too weak to get into Izaya’s head. Saika must have already taken back its soul from the object, leaving only a normal sword with a bit of Saika’s energy that Izaya could feel still swirling around inside.

“Give that back to me, Izaya.” Saika demanded.

Gripping the blade, Izaya winced as he made another cut on his hand, allowing his blood to drip down the length of the blade.

“I don’t know, Saika…” Izaya teased, “Why would you want it back? Isn’t it just a normal sword right now?”

“What do you think you’re doing…?”

Standing over Saika, Izaya pressed the tip of the blade against Saika’s heart.

“Let’s play a little game, shall we, Saika?” Izaya began, “I’ll give you two options. One: I tear your body apart with this blade and since my blood is on it, you won’t heal and will be left to suffer in agony. Or two: you can enter my body again and we can fight for control of it. Whoever wins gets to keep it forever with no objections.”

“Izaya!” Shizuo interjected.

“What the hell are you planning…?” Saika asked.

Izaya shoved the blade forward into Saika’s chest, then pulled the sword towards himself, tearing a deep slice from its chest to its abdomen.

A sinister smile covered his face as Saika screamed. It was rather satisfying to finally have the upper hand.

“Answer. Now.” he commanded.

Saika’s body went limp for a moment as it continued to pant and writhe from the pain. “You’re… not giving me… much of a choice here…”

“Now you know how I’ve felt all my life. Now decide before I choose for you and tear you to pieces until you can’t even move let alone cut anyone.”

Saika shot a weak glare at Izaya, unable to move from its position.

“Izaya, some of the people look like they’re waking up.” Shizuo called out while looking down at the army surrounding the building.

“You’re too weak to hold on to them, Saika. Choose.”

“Fine. I’ll play your damn game.”

Izaya’s grin only grew wider as he slowly felt Saika’s consciousness fill his mind once again and the imitation body began to dissolve into nothing.

Izaya gasped at the first bit of pain as Saika forced itself back into his mind, gripping the sword in his hands tightly.

_“There’s a window of approximately three minutes in which a weakened demon's soul can be channeled into an object, and forced to fuse to the object rather than a human.”_

He could only hope that what Tsukumoya told him would work.

He felt Saika continue to move around inside his mind, meaning that it really was having trouble attaching itself again. He only had this once chance.

“You can do this, Izaya.” Shizuo whispered in his ear, pulling Izaya’s back against his chest, “Do it.”

Nodding, Izaya closed his eyes, trying to focus on Saika moving within him. He released a slow breath, trying to remember the mindset he’d had that day back in middle school.

Of course as soon as Saika realized what he was trying to do, it fought back.

Izaya’s legs suddenly grew very weak, collapsing underneath him as he quickly succumbed to vertigo only to be steadied by Shizuo standing behind him.

“Damn it, Izaya! Don’t even _think_ about letting that bastard win!” Shizuo called as Izaya struggled to stay in control, “You want this more, Izaya.” he whispered into Izaya’s ear, “Show Saika how stubborn you really are.”

A small laugh escaped Izaya’s lips at that statement. It was odd, but just simply listening to Shizuo’s voice was significantly helping to keep him focused as he continued to try and force Saika out of his body and into the katana in his hands.

 _“Stop this, Izaya.”_ Saika pleaded in his head, _“Don’t do this to me! I promise I’ll stop! Please!”_

“No, Saika.” Izaya responded, “No more chances.”

_“Wait! PLEASE!”_

“It’s over.” Izaya stated as Saika was forced to exit his body and enter the sword in his hands.

A red glow overtook the blade as it began to shake violently in his hands.

“What have you done?!” Saika’s voice yelled from the katana, “Let me out of here!”

Izaya’s shoulders slumped forward as he exhaled a sigh of relief.

“Shizu-chan,” Izaya held the blade out in front of him, “Would you like to do the honors…? I’m afraid I can’t break metal.”

“With pleasure.” Shizuo said with a grin, swiping the blade out of Izaya’s hands.

Holding tightly onto the handle, Shizuo pressed the blade into the ground and delivered a solid kick to the sword only to be shocked when the thing remained intact.

Their eyes met for a moment, both a bit stunned.

“Hit it harder.” Izaya suggested, “It’s technically a demon now, it should be harder to break than a normal sword.”

Shizuo nodded and gave the bade a few more solid kicks, but nothing.

His entire body tensed as he stared at the katana in his hand.

Saika…

He could destroy it once and for all.

But why isn’t it breaking…?

Could it be that he… isn’t strong enough…?

Glancing up, Shizuo’s eyes caught Izaya’s once again for a moment before moving to look at the various injuries over Izaya’s body.

Izaya had fought hard to contain Saika—not only just now, but for his entire life.

All Shizuo had wanted to do was to figure out how to help Izaya, and now that only one final thing needed to be done, he wasn’t able to do it?!

Memories of the past few weeks flashed through his mind. Izaya’s pain, Saika’s tricks…

Something snapped in Shizuo’s mind. They’d come too far to not be able to finally end Saika, and he wouldn’t stand for it.

Izaya had suffered far too much for Saika to get away with.

New found rage pumped through his body at the thought of Izaya being hurt, and with only that on his mind, Shizuo slammed his foot into the blade one last time.

Both he and Izaya were thrown backwards in different directions as the blade snapped under the pressure—a loud scream of pain echoing through the night air originating from the katana that now lay in two pieces.

Still gripping the handle of the blade, Shizuo quickly pulled himself up, staring at where the metal had split.

He couldn’t feel it anymore.

Saika’s presence in the blade had instantly vanished the moment the blade had snapped.

“Izaya!” he called out excitedly, “I think that did it!”

Pressing the palm of his hand to his head, Izaya hissed as the pain from his injuries was amplified by the fall.

But Shizuo was right.

He couldn’t feel Saika’s presence at all anymore.

And despite the pain and exhaustion, Izaya threw his head back and laughed.

And laughed…

And laughed some more.

And after giving him a strange look at first, Shizuo soon joined him, relief filling both of them.

It was gone.

Izaya fell down onto his back as he continued laughing, ignoring the pain in his side.

Saika was gone.

He almost couldn’t believe it, but he knew it was true.

And he’d never been happier in his life.


	59. Chapter 59

“Come on, we should get going before people notice us up here.” Shizuo suggested, pulling Izaya to his feet.

Izaya managed to quickly fit Celty’s head into the bag Saika had brought it here in, letting out a sigh of relief that it was unharmed.

“So that’s what her face looks like, huh?” Shizuo said quietly behind Izaya, “It almost doesn’t seem to suit her.”

“Yeah,” Izaya agreed, “I’m just glad Saika didn’t get a chance to hurt her.”

“Thanks for that, by the way,” Shizuo said, leading Izaya towards the stairs, “You know, for protecting her and all…”

“No problem,” Izaya responded quietly as they continued down the stairs.

They exited the building just in time to see the confused looks on people’s faces as they attempted to figure out what had happened and why they were mostly gathered around the school building.

Slipping carefully through the crowd, the pair attempted to attract as little attention as possible as they walked.

That is, until a black car pulled up in front of them, blocking their path.

Shizuo took a step back, looking rather confused while Izaya smiled at the familiar vehicle.

“Need a lift?” Akabayashi asked, rolling down the window.

“That would be lovely, Akabayashi-san.” Izaya gratefully accepted with a short bow, pulling Shizuo into the vehicle with him, “Does Shiki-san know you borrowed his car?”

“Of course! Oi-chan would never dare to use it without permission. Although we will owe him an explanation later, and I told him you would be the one to do the talking.”

“Ah…” Izaya sighed.

“And I must say, I’m quite curious to learn more as well.” Akabayashi continued, “You destroyed Saika, didn’t you…? I can’t feel it anymore like I usually do.”

“Is that why you’re here then?” Izaya questioned, ignoring the look of confusion on Shizuo’s face.

“Of course. I had to make sure you wouldn’t get killed. We started getting news about something strange happening in Saitama, and I got a tip from someone that you’d be here and might need a bit of help. Though I see you didn’t have too much trouble considering you’re able to walk with your injuries.”

“A tip from whom…?” Izaya asked, although he already knew only one person knew where he was going to be other than Shizuo.

“I don’t know. Someone who called himself ‘Shinichi’,” Akabayashi shrugged, “I assumed you know him since he said you had just spoken to him directly.”

“Ahh, I see…”

“Anyway,” Akabayashi continued, “We’re going to have to take a longer route to avoid being noticed leaving the area considering everyone’s a bit uptight concerning what just happened. I was hearing something on the radio on the way over about how nobody could make contact with anyone in Saitama, so the cops are all beginning to respond.”

“That’s fine.” Izaya said with a nod, leaning against Shizuo.

“You okay, kid?” Akabayashi asked, eyeing Izaya through the rearview mirror, “I’ll drop you off at Shinra’s. You should have those injuries treated. Both of you, actually.”

“That’s probably a good idea.” Shizuo responded for Izaya who had already closed his eyes.

…~-~…

When Izaya woke again, he was in Shizuo’s arms, being carried into the elevator in Shinra’s apartment. Everything was still a bit hazy, and his brain was having a hard time matching the syllables coming from Shizuo’s mouth into recognizable words; however, the furrowing of Shizuo’s brow at his lack of response got his mind working again.

“You okay…?” concern filled Shizuo’s voice as he shifted his arm to nudge Izaya’s head a bit.

“Nngh… yeah…” Izaya responded weakly, “What were you saying just now…?”

“I asked if you slept well, and if carrying you like this hurt anywhere,” Shizuo repeated.

“Yes to the first, no to the second,” Izaya replied, though his stomach hurt where Shizuo had punched him, there was no way to avoid hurting that whether Shizuo was carrying him or not.

He could say for once he was rather happy with being carried like this. Normally he’d feel a bit awkward knowing Shinra was about to see him being carried like a little school-girl, but that didn’t bother him right now. He was just happy that they (Celty’s head included) were safe, and that Saika had been destroyed. He suppressed a shudder at what might have happened had Saika actually managed to do anything to the head. Speaking of which…

“Where’s the head…?” he asked.

“Left it in the car with that ‘Aka’ guy. He said he’d hold it for you until you can pick it up. Although I don’t know if he knows what’s in it…”

“That should be fine then. Akabayashi is trustworthy enough.”

Exiting the elevator, Shizuo carried Izaya to Shinra’s door, shifting his grip slightly to leave a few short knocks on it.

“Coming~!” A much too cheery voice called from somewhere inside. A moment later, Shinra stood in the doorway, eyes bouncing between the two on his doorstep. “Ah! So the rumors are true! I was too afraid to ask for fear of being killed by either of you!”

“Rumors…?” Shizuo questioned.

“Shizu-chan, did you expect people wouldn’t have seen us out in public?” Izaya added in, “Gossip travels faster that one can walk with today’s technology!”

“Wait, really? It’s true?” Shinra gaped, “I thought maybe you two showing up here was actually just a coincidence. Now you’ve piqued my interest, but first, I assume you’re both here to get patched up? That’s a lot of blood on you both. How did you avoid being seen by the cops?”

“Akabayashi dropped us off,” Izaya informed as Shinra stepped aside to allow them in.

Shizuo carefully set Izaya on his feet before helping him walk down the hallway and into the apartment where Shinra quickly went about draping towels over the couch and gathering his medical supplies.

Celty stood to the side, arms flailing slightly and smoke flaring out in puffs as she tried to piece together what was happening in front of her.

But Shizuo wasn’t focused on that at the moment.

“Hey, Izaya look!”

Izaya turned to follow Shizuo’s gaze to see that he was looking at the television.

_“…Authorities are still looking in to the cause of the strange phenomena that just recently occurred in Saitama this evening in which many locals are calling some type of supernatural occurrence. None of the citizens within the district have any recollection of the time during which the event took place, and it seems that no one has any logical explanations as of late, though there was a similar incident in Ikebukuro last summer. More on this as the story develops…”_

Shinra chuckled lightly at the way Celty froze on the spot at the news report. “Celty, I doubt it has anything to do with aliens,” he said with a chuckle, “Although it is rather peculiar.”

“[I wasn’t thinking it was aliens, you idiot! I thought it might have something to do with the Slasher!]” Celty paused for a moment before typing out another message, “[I have to call someone.]”

“If you’re about to contact Sonohara Anri-chan, don’t bother. She doesn’t know anything about it.” Izaya said.

“I’m sure it’s nothing our great informant couldn’t figure out if given the time!” Shinra lightly nudged Izaya as he began looking over Izaya’s injuries.

“Don’t need to. How do you think we ended up like this?” Izaya gestured to his and Shizuo’s injuries.

“[WHAT?!]” Celty typed frantically, “[What happened?!]”

With a long sigh, Izaya finally revealed everything to Celty and Shinra, explaining it from the beginning just as he had done for Shizuo. Though he skipped the middle school incident, choosing instead to mention only the details involving himself and Saika specifically.

However, Shinra was smart enough to put two and two together and once Izaya was finished with his story and all Celty could do was sit there in stunned silence, Shinra finished bandaging the last of Shizuo’s injuries and spoke up.

“I take it that Saika had something to do with that day in middle school then, huh? When you ran off into that storm and dropped your knife?”

Izaya tensed for a moment, trying to hold back the shudder that typically came with thinking of that day. “Yes. I… almost cut you that day because of it…”

“Why didn’t you just tell me? With enough evidence I would have come to believe you.”

“That was the problem, Shinra,” Izaya exhaled, leaning back on the couch, “I had no evidence back then. If I had told you I’d been hearing a voice in my head, even you would have thought I was insane. Don’t deny it.”

“Ahh… I guess that makes sense then,” Shinra said with a nod.

“[So was that why I always felt something strange around you?]” Celty asked, “[You just brushed it off like nothing, but this whole time I was just sensing Saika, wasn’t I?]”

“That depends,” Izaya shrugged, “do you feel it now?”

“[No. The atmosphere around you has drastically changed.]”

“Really, hm?” Izaya smiled, shifting his body slightly to test his bruised ribs before carefully standing up.

Everything was starting to hurt just a bit more, especially the cut on his hand. Shinra had scolded him a bit when he mentioned that he’d done that to himself saying that he could have easily cut a tendon and would have needed surgery; however, he still thought it would have been worth it to kill Saika. Besides, it was his non-dominant hand after all.

After a brief exchange of goodbyes, Izaya and Shizuo left, taking a taxi back to Izaya’s apartment. They were left in a slightly awkward silence as they entered the apartment and stood next to each other as they surveyed the slightly messy space.

“So it’s really gone then, huh?” Shizuo was the first to break the silence.

“Yeah,” Izaya nodded, “It is…”

“How does it feel… ya know, having your body to yourself…?”

A smile spread over Izaya’s features at that. He hadn’t been able to truly enjoy the feeling yet. His mind felt light, as if a block of solid concrete had been removed. Saika had been a burden that he’d forced himself to bear for so long, and suddenly it was gone. How does it feel, he asked…?

“This probably sounds weird, but… the only way I can describe it is that I feel… released.”

He really did. He felt as if he had been cured from some kind of debilitating illness that drained him of his energy not to mention his sanity.

And even now as he studied the remnants of his earlier encounter with Saika—right in the spot he was now standing—he couldn’t believe it was gone.

“Doesn’t sound weird at all, actually,” Shizuo said with a shrug, “I kind of feel the same way and I hadn’t even known about it until recently. I can’t even begin to imagine how you must feel.”

“It’s going to take some getting used to, I think. Saika and I… There were times when we got along… It’s just going to be weird not hearing its voice anymore.”

“Don’t tell me you’re gonna _miss_ the bastard.”

“No, no,” Izaya said with a laugh, “Though it was nice to always have someone to talk to, but I think I’m going to enjoy having a bit more privacy now.”

“Good, because—”

Shizuo was cut off when Izaya’s cell phone went off, playing a cheery pop song in the otherwise quiet apartment.

“Hello, Mikado-kun,” Izaya answered, “to what do I owe this call at such a late hour?”

“Izaya-san, I don’t mean to bother you, but something seems to be upsetting Sonohara-san. She mentioned your name, but didn’t say anything more.”

“Ahh, I see. Yes, I did see her earlier, but it’s nothing to worry about. If she’s concerned about anything just relay this message to her for me: Everything is taken care of and she’ll never have to worry about it again.”

“You didn’t try to hurt her, did you?” Mikado asked, a hint of a threat existing in those words.

“Of course not,” Izaya assured, “I mean it, it’s nothing either of you should concern yourself with. She just got a bit mixed up in my business. Ah, but nothing very dangerous! As I said, I took care of it, and there is absolutely nothing to worry about.”

“I’m going to have to try and believe that then,” Mikado said, still sounding a bit suspicious, “Sorry to bother you so late, but I had to know. Thank you and goodbye.”

“Goodbye!” Izaya said possibly a bit too cheerfully, closing his phone and turning to address Shizuo, “That was a friend of Anri’s. I assume she’s going through something similar to what I am now that her piece of Saika is gone as well,” Izaya paused for a moment, recalling how Anri had been worried about leaving even though she had come to his apartment with the intention of cutting him. She was a strange girl indeed.

“Come on, let’s go upstairs. I’m tired,” Izaya suggested, pulling Shizuo along with him as he walked.

The pair didn’t quite make it up the stairs before their bodies decided their next movements for them, Shizuo grabbing Izaya’s hand and pulling him into a passionate kiss in the same moment that Izaya had been about to do something similar.

He was tired, yes, but as soon as Shizuo’s lips touched his, he remembered just how good it felt to surrender to the strange feelings he’d recently become familiar with.

Together they stumbled the rest of the way up the stairs, and by some miracle, made it to Izaya’s bedroom without falling over each other.

Carefully, Shizuo held on to Izaya and lowered him into the bed, remembering somewhere in the back of his mind that Izaya was still injured and in a lot of pain.

He didn’t like that thought.

He didn’t want Izaya to be in pain.

Not anymore.

Izaya had suffered enough, and Shizuo’s focus suddenly shifted to making Izaya feel good in whatever way possible.

Keeping his knees and elbows on the bed to support himself, Shizuo hovered over Izaya, carefully slipping his tongue along Izaya’s and swallowing the moans it elicited from the smaller man.

Izaya’s back arched, pressing his groin against Shizuo’s, both of them rapidly growing hard as they began to grind against each other; however, Izaya’s bruised ribs didn’t allow this for very long before the pain forced him to stop.

“Don’t push yourself,” Shizuo whispered, gently pulling Izaya’s shirt over his head before working at the buttons on his own.

Once both articles were off, Shizuo went to work lightly placing a kiss over each of Izaya’s wounds, while lightly rubbing his abdomen where he had hit him while possessed.

“I’m sorry about this, Izaya,” he said, far too aware that he could have done much more damage than this, “Just let me make you feel better, okay?”

“You don’t have to apologize, Shizu-chan. It was Saika who—” Izaya was cut off by another kiss.

“Don’t talk about that bastard right now,” Shizuo stated.

“Fine,” Izaya replied with a grin, “then get on with it and _make_ me stop talking!”

As he spoke, Izaya began working at the button on Shizuo’s pants, pulling the zipper down as quickly as he could and shuddering when Shizuo’s erection forced its way out. Not wasting any time, Izaya began repeating the process with his own pants, letting out a pleased sigh as the pressure from his pants disappeared.

Soon enough, the pair were completely nude, Izaya writhing beneath Shizuo. His hand wrapped around both of their arousals, grinding his own against Izaya.

He didn’t want to actually penetrate Izaya this time, considering Izaya was already in plenty of pain, so instead he simply continued thrusting his hips, and watching as both of their cocks poked out from his hand around them, precum dripping down in a steady flow serving as lubrication.

Izaya quickly became a mess underneath him, shocking Shizuo with how easily he allowed himself to let go and give in, when he would have thought Izaya would have wanted to keep his composure.

But instead of that overconfident grin that was usually plastered over his face, there was only an open mouth waiting to be kissed while his eyes rolled back slightly in ecstasy, head thrown backwards, hands clawing at Shizuo’s back, and loud moaning along with whispers of Shizuo’s name.

They both came simultaneously, neither able to hold back a loud groan as their cocks twitched against each other and spurts of white splattered across Izaya’s stomach and chest.

Rolling to the side, Shizuo exhaled a deep breath noticing as Izaya did the same before grabbing a few tissues to clean themselves with, and throwing them haphazardly to the floor to be cleaned up in the morning.

Izaya’s eyes already seemed to be far too heavy for the informant to keep open by the time Shizuo pulled him close, leaving a few soft kisses on Izaya’s neck and pulling the sheets over them.

In under a minute, they were both fast asleep.


	60. Chapter 60

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter!

**Orihara Izaya reborn!**

**Orihara Izaya  
** … “Good luck?”

 **Orihara Izaya**  
If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you actually cared about me from that comment.

 **Tsukumoya Shinichi  
** Ahh, I guess I should have deleted that before you saw it then. Now that you know my secret you’re going to be locked in a triangle and have to choose between myself and Heiwajima.

 **Orihara Izaya**  
Oh, but you know I’d have to go with Shizu-chan. How could I ever love someone who won’t even show me his face?

 **Tsukumoya Shinichi  
** How do you know I even have a face?

 **Orihara Izaya**  
Well then that would mean you aren’t human, and therefore, I can’t love you. But I haven’t seen any proof of that, now have I? You are quite the mystery.

 **Tsukumoya Shinichi  
** And I’m sure I’m one you’d love to solve, correct?

 **Orihara Izaya  
** Maybe someday if the need arises, but for now you do enough for me just from this chatroom.

 **Orihara Izaya**  
Speaking of which, that’s why I’m here right now.

 **Orihara Izaya**  
I wanted to thank you for the help.

 **Orihara Izaya**  
Without that bit of information you gave me, I’d probably be dead by now.

 **Orihara Izaya  
** And the same goes for tipping off Akabayashi. That was a big help too.

 **Tsukumoya Shinichi**  
So you killed Saika then? It won’t be bothering you anymore?

 **Orihara Izaya**  
I don’t believe I ever told you it was bothering me, Tsukumoya.

 **Orihara Izaya**  
Are you stalking me?

 **Orihara Izaya**  
Ahh!!!! Are you a creepy old man who is going to kidnap me and molest me~?!

 **Tsukumoya Shinichi  
** Let’s just say your cameras aren’t as secure as you think they are.

 **Orihara Izaya**  
…

 **Orihara Izaya**  
Really…?

 **Orihara Izaya**  
You really were stalking me that whole time?

 **Tsukumoya Shinichi  
** No, not stalking. But I have overheard some rather interesting conversations you’ve had with “yourself”.

 **Orihara Izaya**  
I don’t need to hear that right now. Perhaps we’ll discuss this later.

 **Tsukumoya Shinichi**  
Oh? Is your Shizu-chan nearby?

 **Orihara Izaya**  
Just walked in the door, actually.

 **Orihara Izaya**  
Later, you fucking creep!

**Orihara Izaya confirmed dead!**

“Hey, Shizu-chan!” Izaya smiled, leaning back in his desk chair and stretching his arms over his head.

It was strange how he couldn’t stop that smile from appearing the instant he heard the door open. He’d never felt this happy to see someone in his life, and Shizuo had only been gone for about an hour to pick up Celty’s head from Akabayashi—along with lunch it seemed.

“Here you go,” Shizuo said, dropping a small bag on Izaya’s desk, “Eat up. You’re too damn skinny. I don’t want to break you or something.”

Izaya’s smile turned into a dark grin as Shizuo turned away to gently set the bag containing the head on the couch. “Oh? Is Shizu-chan worried about me?” he teased, “Believe me, if you could break me that easily, you would have done so years ago.”

He took the first bite of his hamburger (laughing inwardly at Shizuo’s poor taste in a proper lunch), and was about to continue looking through his email when Shizuo’s hands rested on his shoulders, blowing warm air with the slight scent of cigarettes over the nape of his neck. He shuddered at the sensation, feeling Shizuo grin as he pressed his mouth against Izaya’s neck.

“That may be true, but I was never able to touch you for this long before now,” he whispered, making Izaya have to twist his body away to avoid another embarrassing shiver.

Shizuo was still smiling by the time Izaya had turned around to face him with a stern look over his face.

“Don’t do that,” he stated, rubbing at the back of his neck.

“Do what…?” Shizuo asked, though the smile on his face said he already knew.

“Don’t touch me like that.”

“What, like this…?” Leaning in, Shizuo grabbed hold of Izaya’s shoulders again and pressed his lips against the back of Izaya’s neck, feeling Izaya’s breath hitch.

“Shizu-chan…” he warned.

Moving his lips to the side of Izaya’s neck, Shizuo began to leave light kisses up and down the length of Izaya’s neck before pausing when he saw the slight bulge in Izaya’s pants.

“Oh? So that turns you on then?” Shizuo teased, running his fingers up the other side of Izaya’s neck while he continued to kiss the other side, “Your neck must be really sensitive.”

“Shizu-cha—ah!”

Shizuo laughed as the smallest gasp caught in Izaya’s throat as he rested his hand over Izaya’s half-hard erection.

“I’ll have to remember this. It’s probably the only way I’ll ever get you to shut up, huh?” he murmured, lightly rubbing Izaya to hardness.

Izaya leaned back against Shizuo, panting heavily at the blonde’s ministrations. It was strange how quickly his body reacted to Shizuo, but he liked it. He’d never been able to get this hard so fast before.

“Where’d you put the lube?”

Wordlessly (and rather breathlessly as well), Izaya shifted so he could reach the bottom drawer of his desk.

And Shizuo could have sworn Izaya had maneuvered himself that way on purpose because how could be not be aware of the way his ass stuck up in the air, swaying side to side as he dug through the bottom drawer for an unnecessary amount of time?

That’s why the instant Izaya stood holding the bottle in his hand, Shizuo immediately swept the smaller man off of his feet and carried him upstairs. Shizuo winced as Izaya’s lower back brushed over his clothed erection as he carried him, driving him wild with every step.

Izaya could feel it too, and every time he felt that hardness underneath him he could feel his own cock twitch, and his ass clench in anticipation.

He winced slightly out of reflex when his wounds were aggravated as Shizuo set him down on the bed, but he was already too far gone to care about the pain, gesturing to Shizuo to get on with it when he saw that concerned look across the blonde’s face.

In just a few seconds, their clothes were gone and there was only skin against skin and mouth against mouth as their bodies moved with one another.

Finally, Shizuo popped open the cap on the lube and slowly began circling his finger around Izaya’s entrance before letting it slowly slip deep inside.

Izaya threw his head back and moaned loudly at the intrusion, hands gripping the sheets tightly and hips shifting, trying to get more.

Shizuo obliged, inserting another finger, and then three, slowly moving them around, and spreading them out, but still avoiding contact with his sweet spot.

Once he deemed Izaya stretched enough, he coated himself with the excess lube, and carefully pushed past the tight ring of muscle, feeling it quiver as he pushed farther and farther in. He watched Izaya’s reaction, loving the way his mouth dropped open and a loud cry of ecstasy filled the room.

He couldn’t have held back that pleasured cry no matter how much he tried. Shizuo was filling him deeply, making him feel much fuller than the first time, especially with the way this position allowed Shizuo’s cock to rub powerfully over his prostate.

“Shit Izaya, you’re sucking me right in…”

Normally Izaya would have laughed at the way Shizuo blushed as he said those words, but he didn’t care about that right now. He wanted more. He wanted Shizuo to _move_ already.

And he did. The first thrusts were very powerful while still very careful at the same time. He held Izaya’s hips steady as to avoid moving his bruised ribs too much.

They were both very close very quickly, Shizuo beginning to thrust faster while still conscious of Izaya’s injuries while Izaya was simply too far gone to even remember what the word “injury” was as his back arched and his fingers clawed at Shizuo’s back.

In return for the welts Izaya was likely going to leave, Shizuo picked a spot on Izaya’s neck, just above his pulse, and began sucking and biting until there was a decent size mark. One last bite on the spot, and Izaya couldn’t hold back anymore. He came hard, muscles clenching down hard on the thick cock still buried deep inside, drawing out Shizuo’s orgasm as well.

Carefully pulling out and rolling to the side, Shizuo smiled at Izaya’s blissful expression as he began to calm down.

“What…?” Izaya asked, feeling Shizuo’s eyes on him.

“Nothing, it’s just… You’re still you,” he whispered with a smile, “And it’s nice to see you enjoying yourself without the threat of getting possessed.”

“I was last night too, wasn’t I?”

“W-well, yeah…” Shizuo stuttered, “But we didn’t… go all the way last night…”

Izaya’s laughter filled the room for a moment until the pain in his ribs forced him to stop. “You’re a strange one, Shizu-chan.”

“Shut up.” Shizuo said, holding back a laugh of his own as he began pulling scraps of his clothing together.

“No, no,” Izaya held up his hand to stop him, “I can’t get up at the moment, so you’re going to carry me to the bath.”

“Damn needy Flea…” Shizuo mumbled under his breath, although the words didn’t hold any hatred when there was such a big smile stuck on his face.

...~-~…

Izaya let out a long sigh as he was lowered into the hot water. He could feel his muscles begin to loosen up from the warmth, and some of the pain from his bruised body begin to decrease.

“You shouldn’t stay in there for too long with those injuries, Izaya.” Shizuo suggested.

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” Izaya waved his hand as he spoke, “Now how about you join me, ne? There’s plenty of room in here for two.”

“Fine, but move your legs over. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Would you stop worrying so much about hurting me?”

“Can’t,” Shizuo shrugged, getting into the tub as well, “I never realized how fragile you were before now, so I can’t help it if I worry.”

“Fragile? Excuse me?”

“Don’t try to deny it, Izaya. I saw you at your lowest point, and it wasn’t something I ever want to see again.”

Izaya opened his mouth to retort, but he couldn’t think of a single thing to say. Jaw tightening as he closed his mouth, Izaya shifted his gaze away from Shizuo for the moment.

“I mean it, Izaya. You may think you’re hard to decipher, but it’s much easier to see through you than you think.”

“Funny, Simon said something similar a while back.”

“Izaya, how do you feel right now?”

“Not this again…” he rolled his eyes.

“Yes, this again.” Shizuo pressed.

“I’m not upset, so why does it matter?”

“Because I want to know how you’re feeling no matter what.”

Izaya tried to blame the hot water for the way his face began to burn slightly. Shizuo didn’t seem to notice though. Or at least he didn’t make a point of mentioning it.

“I’m happy,” he said softly, “I’m just… happy.”

“Good.”

The rest of the day was spent lazing around the apartment as Izaya sat next to Shizuo with his laptop after replacing Celty’s head back in its place on the bookshelf. Izaya answered a few emails, and made a few phone calls (one of which was to Shiki to make an appointment to explain everything that had happened) while Shizuo waited patiently for him to finish, slipping in a quick kiss every time he got the chance.

Later that evening, Izaya prepared dinner for the two of them as thanks for Shizuo’s help, and in celebration of Izaya’s freedom from Saika, they opened a bottle of wine Izaya had been saving for a special occasion.

A few glasses of wine later, Izaya completely abandoned trying to get any work done in favor of allowing the warmth to spread through him as he nestled himself between Shizuo’s legs on the couch.

“Maybe you should slow down a bit, Izaya,” Shizuo said with a chuckle, “You’re starting to get a bit flushed.”

“So are you, but you’re not stopping~!” Izaya sang, taking another sip from his glass, “I haven’t felt this good in a while, so let me have my fun!”

When Izaya playfully stuck out his tongue, Shizuo responded by capturing it in his own mouth, taking the glass from Izaya’s hand while he was distracted and finishing the small bit that was left for himself.

“Hey!” Izaya protested, smacking Shizuo on the side of the head, “I wasn’t finished with that!”

“You are now,” he said.

Pouting, Izaya pressed his face into Shizuo’s chest, inhaling deeply and relaxing. They faded in and out of sleep lying against each other on the couch before finally deciding to go to bed.

…~-~…

**..Six Months Later..**

…~-~…

“Are you absolutely sure about this, Shizu-chan?” Izaya asked for the umpteenth time in the past week.

“With how many times you’ve asked me that, I have to wonder if _you’re_ the one who’s unsure.” Shizuo retorted.

“I’m the one who suggested it, remember? I’ve already given it a lot of thought for a month. You decided in two days.”

“Yeah, well… I’m pretty damn sure I want this too.” Shizuo stated as he packed the last of his clothes into a suitcase, “Besides, it’s a little late to change my mind, isn’t it?”

“Of course not. I could easily pull some strings if I had to.”

“But you won’t have to,” Shizuo whispered into Izaya’s ear as he passed by carrying another couple of boxes.

Yes, barely a week ago, Izaya had mentioned that Shizuo should move in with him, but he hadn’t expected the blonde to be so willing. Not that he minded of course. In fact he was rather pleased with how quickly Shizuo had agreed. To him it meant that maybe Shizuo had been feeling the same way as he had.

They had been together for six months, and in that time they only grew closer to one another. They were seeing each other nearly every day, and their time apart was spent thinking about the next time they’d be together.

It was as cheesy as it could get, and Izaya would be the first to admit it; however, he wouldn’t have it any other way.

Shizuo had helped him when he needed someone there—even if he didn’t realize it back then.

As quickly as Saika left his life, Shizuo was there to replace it. Except instead of Saika’s nagging chorus of “I love you”, it was Shizuo’s voice quietly whispering those words so gently that Izaya nearly forgot that he once feared hearing them.

Instead of seeing Saika looming behind him in the mirror, it was Shizuo’s warm presence standing close.

And instead of the fear and pain of his old “companion”, there was only happiness and comfort whenever Shizuo was around.

He had never known it was possible to feel this good. Especially when with another person.

Who would have guessed that the one person who could bring him the most out of life had been right under his nose for eight years? Someone he’d chosen to run from rather than run towards.

And now they were going to be living together. They could be near each other all the time now.

After all this time… he was finally happy.

And Saika never whispered to him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say thank you so much to my readers! I really appreciate all of you for giving me the encouragement I need to continue writing. I'm sort of on a hiatus at the moment while I work on another fic. It's taking a while though because I have been struggling with writing lately. However, once again, thank you for following/commenting/giving kudos on this fic! It's my baby and took a lot of thought and time to complete!


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